Minus-Star Match Reviews: The Undertaker & Kane vs. KroniK – WWF Unforgiven 2001

For all the talk of The Undertaker being this timeless and reverential character, he has certainly has his fair share stinkers throughout his wrestling career.

On one hand him only having matches ranging from “passable” to “serviceable” for most of his career was to be expected; he was, after all, a wrestling zombie with supernatural powers who only left his feet when he wanted to. On the other hand, he morphed as a wrestler over time, becoming more of a ‘working big man’ as opposed to a token immobile wall. So when he began having good matches by superheavyweight standards any of his shortfalls became more obvious by comparison.

It’s with that in mind that we revisit one of Undertaker’s worst matches to see if all the hate was deserved.

The story

KroniK – Bryan Adams and Bryan Clark – were brought in as heavies for Stevie Richards, who was feuding with The Undertaker at the time. Richards blamed ‘Taker for his Right to Censor stable disbanding and thus wanted revenge. Over the course of several weeks KroniK attacked both Kane and Undertaker multiple times. They double chokeslammed both guys and interfered in the BoD’s challenge for the WWF/E Tag titles, costing the brothers the chance of being dual champions.

The match

This took place on September 23, 2001. It was rated -** by the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer and was voted Worst Match of the Year. KroniK have almost identical barbed wire-themes outfits with the key difference being that Adams has long pants on while Clark only has the singlet.

This is for the BoD’s WCW Tag Team Titles. The match begins with a ringside brawl. Undertaker and Adams get into the ring first and ‘Taker drops him with a big boot and follows with a leg drop for a two-count. ‘Taker launches Adams into a corner, Adams hits a back elbow and charges, and ‘Taker hits first with a drop toehold. Adams kicks out of another cover so Kane tags in, hits some corner punches and stomps, followed by a running clothesline into the opposite corner. Kane follows with a scoop slam/running elbow drop combo for another two-count. Adams reverses an Irish whip with an elbow and follows with a pendulum backbreaker. Clark tags in and lands corner strikes of his own and hits a jump kick for a two-count.

Kane ducks a clothesline and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Clark gets his boot up and charges out but Kane hits a shoulderbreaker and tags ‘Taker. Undertaker works Clark’s arm and lands Old School. He sits down into a cross armbreaker but Adams breaks it up. ‘Taker hits Adams from behind which allows Clark to drop Undertaker with a clothesline. Adams tags in and the two Bryans double stomp ‘Taker in their corner. Adams shoots ‘Taker off the ropes and hits a crescent kick for a two-count. Undertaker boots out of a corner and ducks a clothesline. A miscommunication ensues right then and there which leads to some blatant missed spots.

Adams kicks Undertaker to avoid a back body drop but ‘Taker stares daggers at him and charges. Adams ducks and clotheslines ‘Taker to the floor and some more sluggish striking ensues. Clark hits a shoulderblock from the apron and then both Bryans double-team Kane as well. Back in the ring, KroniK hit double shoulderblocks but ‘Taker kicks out at two. ‘Taker fights out of A LONG chinlock only for Adams to counter with a scoop slam. Adams tags in and goes for a back body drop but ‘Taker counters with a running DDT. Kane tags in and runs wild on both Bryans. KroniK block a one-on-two double chokeslam from Kane and then all three hit a simultaneous neckbreaker drop. Kane sits up and tags Undertaker who lands punches to Kronik at random. Irish whip corner combos by the Brothers of Destruction. Steven Richards tries to interfere but eats a punch as Kane fights with Adams on the floor. Adams escapes from Kane and hits ‘Taker with the lightest jawbreaker I’ve ever seen. KroniK attempt a two-on-one double chokeslam but ‘Taker fights out. Kane drops Adams with a flying clothesline as Undertaker chokeslams Adams to get the three-count and retain the titles.

Winners and STILL WCW World Tag Team Champions after 10:21: The Brothers of Destruction (The Undertaker and Kane)

Post-match, Undertaker walks around with his hands on his hips and an almost-identical expression of indignation and disgust as the one he had after that Goldberg Saudi Arabia debacle. Steven Richards comes in with a chair but soon finds himself trapped in between both brothers. He reaches backwards and realizes he’s doomed and does a passable job of selling the ‘I’m totally screwed’ situation he finds himself in. Kane chokeslams Richards to pop the crowd but Undertaker’s still pissed off about how the match went.

Review

I had to watch this match on fast-forward just to get through it. This was the textbook definition of a plodding meaningless match. It was doomed to fail from the beginning; after all, what do you expect from four monsters each weighing more than 270 pounds and none of whom was going to sell for the others? Worse, things looked mistimed from the start which forced Undertaker to call spots (loudly at times) that weren’t answered in time. It was simply a mess with the kinds of basic moves you’d find in some kind of low-tier training school match and not a PPV-level match.

The match would’ve been relegated to the dustbin had rumors surrounding it not taken off. Shortly after it took place, stories began circulating shortly afterwards that Undertaker buried KroniK in this match despite him being close friends with at least one of the Bryans. This led to another narrative emerging around the time, one implying that Undertaker was trying to ‘bury’ as many WCW wrestlers as possible. It was also implied by some critics at the time that Undertaker was trying to shift the blame for this match being poor onto KroniK, despite he himself not being in the best shape of his career (‘Taker was voted Most Overrated by the WON in 2001 and ‘won’ this award by a landslide). So for a while there were some pockets of the fandom that were REALLY tired of Undertaker and thought that it was unfair for KroniK to be resent to developmental while Undertaker and Kane went about their business as usual.

While we can debate about perceptions and narratives ad nauseam, what is undeniable is that this match was bad. Even though the crowd wasn’t dead or groaning, they still gave this match a lukewarm-at-best reception. The action was boring and limited to punches and the odd power move, not unlike Undertaker’s disappointing singles match with Kane from Judgment Day 1998. The movements were dull. There was barely any story in the match. KroniK tried to generate heat but the audience really didn’t care. Despite the pre-match hype video giving everyone all the setting and explanation needed to understand the reason behind this match (which has always been one of WWE’s biggest strengths), there wasn’t anything special about this match or the post-match angle. It all felt…mid. Mid, disappointing, and not worth the cost of the PPV or the ticket to the event.

Final Rating: -*

I don’t think this is any kind of travesty or crime against wrestling, just an extremely underwhelming match involving four guys with no chemistry that would’ve been better suited with different opponents. As it stands this was a generic monster mash that no one really cared about. KroniK were bland and unimposing despite massive hosses that, against smaller opponents, could’ve had their strengths emphasized and their weaknesses concealed.

Meanwhile, Undertaker and Kane looked like they were going through the motions, even though Undertaker looked like he was trying very hard to direct traffic. But not even he could get a serviceable match out of these two. Just because someone might be friends with someone doesn’t mean they’ll have great chemistry once in the ring.

Thanks for reading.