The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series Showdown – 11.24.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Survivor Series Showdown – 11.24.91

Originally written 11.18.25

Taped from Utica, NY on 11.11.91

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan

Big Bossman v. Earthquake

Earthquake beats on Bossman, but misses an elbow and that allows Bossman make a comeback and slug away on Quake to put him down. He stops to chase after Jimmy and then smacks Quake on the ass on the way by before slugging it out again. Quake gets tied in the ropes, but IRS heads down to provide distraction as we take a break. We take a fake break and Jimmy unties Quake, allowing IRS to get some shots on Bossman behind the ref’s back. Quake stomps the hand, THE HAND HE TAKES BRIBES WITH, and so Bobby is horrified. Quake tosses him for more punishment from IRS, but Bossman fights him off and makes the comeback in the ring while Vince shills a pair of 1-900 lines for fans to vote on reinstating Savage. Only 79 cents per call! They probably recycled the phone lines from the “Kill Jason Todd” vote that DC ran. Bossman gets tossed and Quake continues working on the arm back in the ring as the crowd is pretty bored of this shitty match and I can’t blame them. Finally they collide and Quake goes down, and Bossman gets two. But then IRS trips him up and they brawl on the floor. Back in the ring, Bossman puts him down again with a clothesline, but then everyone on the Survivor Series team runs in for the DQ at 10:18. Man just a year earlier and this would be a hot main event, but now no one cares and it’s just a paint-by-numbers non-finish. ½*.

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan stops by the Funeral Parlor and gets his ass kicked by Ric Flair and Undertaker before Piper and Savage make the save. Which unfortunately doesn’t actually set up a Survivor Series match outside of the Hogan-Taker title match because it would have meant way more star power than any of the midcard-grade matches at the PPV ended up having.

Blake Beverly v. Bushwacker Luke

Blake attacks in the corner and gets his ass bitten as a result, and Luke chases him to the floor and runs him into the Genius. So Blake runs away while Vince promises the UNCENSORED footage of the snakebite later in the show, although he does warn that the squeamish among the audience members might want to watch something else. FOR THE SICKOS! Back in the ring, we get MORE stalling as Luke chases the Genius to the back as there is absolutely nothing going on in this match and we take another fake break where it picks up exactly where it left off. So Luke has stolen the mortal board from the Genius and we finally get contact 4:00 into the match, as Luke misses a charge and hits the buckles. Blake with a backbreaker and a powerslam for two. Blake goes up and misses a splash, stumbles backwards and falls over Luke, and Luke rolls him up for the pin at 5:45. Well, this happened. DUD

Big Bossman joins Mean Gene for a special interview, joined by his good friends the Legion of Doom. Hawk promises “spontaneous human combustion” as they prepare to face the goofy team of the guys cosplaying as weather patterns and their friend who works for the federal government as a tax collector. Well at least he’s not overselling it.

Meanwhile, on Superstars this past week, Jake Roberts calls out Macho Man, and then ties him in the ropes and unleashes his KING COBRA on him. And indeed we get the uncensored footage of the snake chewing on Jake’s arm, and I’m gonna be real with y’all, the censored footage is way more effective. This just looks fucking goofy, with Jake wiggling the snake like he’s shaking it off after taking a piss. But the aftermath is still a great chaotic scene, with Savage falling off the stretcher after flailing all over the ring and Elizabeth screaming in terror.

The Natural Disasters & IRS & Jake Roberts join Mean Gene for their special interview to discuss the snake situation. This was taped before the snake angle aired, so it was probably mildly confusing for the live crowd. They all take turns making generic threats, and Jake promises that if Savage shows up at the PPV, then he won’t be home for Christmas with Elizabeth.

Million Dollar title: Virgil v. Ted Dibiase

Dibiase takes him down with an armdrag and stops to celebrate, and then takes him down with a hammerlock before mocking him again. Virgil comes back with a hiptoss and rolls him up for ONE TWO THREE YES HE GOT HIM NO HE DIDN’T GET HIM. Virgil with a small package for two and Dibiase bails to talk it over with Sherri. Back in, Virgil with a headlock and he works on that while Bobby explains ethics: When the woman at the Beverly Hills Bank cashes his cheque, she says “Thank you Mr. Heenan” and that’s all that counts. Dibiase tosses him and Sherri puts the boots to him and stabs him in the face with her high heel for good measure, which I believe is also FOR THE SICKOS. We take a fake break and return with Dibiase tossing him back in for a suplex that gets two. Dibiase with a chinlock, but it only gets two armdrops and Virgil makes the comeback before running into a kneelift. But then Dibiase points to his head to indicate intelligence, and it doesn’t actually backfire on him! Indeed he drops the fist for two and goes to a chinlock again. Dibiase goes up and misses the back elbow, alllowing Virgil to make the comeback and he’s a HOUSE OF FIRE with a legsweep for two. But the Repo Man runs down and takes the Million Dollar Belt before knocking Virgil out with it, and Dibiase lands on top for the pin and the title at 10:00. This was a pretty good match, actually. *** Dibiase tells it like it is to Virgil and points out that he’s a loser and a penniless pauper again, but El Matador runs in and saves, setting up the next program for Dibiase. This actually was efficient in setting up two different feuds out of it.

Hacksaw Duggan joins Mean Gene, and announces that his new partner for Survivor Series will be Sgt. Slaughter, who as a reminder is no longer a traitor to his country.

Also Gene casually drops Hercules as a replacement for Big Billy Busick, who quit the company before this taping. Diabolical.

El Matador v. Skinner

You know that having someone named Skinner working a match in Utica NY is killing me as I fight not to recite the entire Steamed Hams segment word for word. Tito works a headlock and Skinner hides in the ropes to escape. Bobby meanwhile jokes about the snake dying after biting Savage, which unfortunately proved all too prophetic. Skinner tosses Tito and they fight outside as we take a fake break and return with Skinner choking him out on the apron while Vince promises that corrupt old Jack Tunney will for sure make a decision on Randy Savage by Survivor Series. Sure if someone greases his palms the right way. Skinner with another chinlock while Vince and Bobby fill airtime by talking about David Duke while the crowd snoozes. And Skinner keeps going to the chinlock while Vince quips “I thought this match was gonna go a lot quicker”. You and me both. Tito finally comes back with dropkicks and slugs away to set up EL PASO DES MORTE to finish at 12:00. Wait, weren’t they claiming that Skinner was undefeated at Tuesday in Texas or was I dreaming that? Anyway this match was LONG and dull. *

Meanwhile, from Superstars, Hulk Hogan joins Mean Gene to talk about his title match against Undertaker. Many people are saying that Hulkamania will be dead!

Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Hercules

So yeah, Herc slides into the Big Bully role here, which is actually an upgrade anyway. They slug it out to start and Piper wins that handily , but Herc nails him with a back elbow and then immediately goes to a test of strength. That was a weird transition spot. Piper rolls out of that to reverse it and gets a sunset flip, but Herc blocks it. So Piper pokes him in the eyes and Bobby has had enough and leaves the announce booth. Piper makes a comeback, but Herc tosses him out of the ring while we get solo Vince, lucky us. Pioper with a sunset flip and Herc grabs the ropes to block, but the ref kicks the hands away and Piper finishes the move for two. Piper with the bulldog to finish at 5:00. Piper had such a weird array of finishers. This was terrible and sloppy as all hell. DUD

And we finish with Ric Flair and his team, as Flair introduces Mr. Perfect as his new Executive Consultant and Dibiase shows off his Million Dollar belt again.

The Virgil-Dibiase match was surprisingly good, but there’s little else on this show to warrant any kind of a recommendation. A very by the numbers warmup show.