The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 12.20.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 12.20.86

Originally written 07.02.26

Taped from Phoenix, AZ on 12.09.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino & Jesse Ventura

Magnificent Muraco & Cowboy Bob Orton v. The Islanders

So Orton & Muraco have now permanently shifted to Mr. Fuji as a manager, replacing Jimmy Hart. So Muraco & Orton were actually involved in a rather historic match a week before this show aired, facing the British Bulldogs for the tag team titles in Hamilton at a house show on 12/13/86, where Dynamite Kid injured his back so badly that it necessitated taking the tag team belts off them and getting them onto a heel team ASAP. So we’ll have that to look forward to shortly. The Islanders storm the ring for a brawl to start, but Haku quickly gets caught in the heel corner and double-teamed. Haku comes back and clotheslines Muraco, allowing a hot tag to Tama, who slugs away and cleans house. But then he takes a cheapshot from Muraco on the apron and the heels go to work on him. Muraco with a neckbreaker and Orton goes up with a pump splash, but he hits knees and it’s back to Haku as they’re going a million miles an hour here. Haku hits everyone with the crescent kicks and gets a sunset flip on Orton for two, but Muraco saves. Haku goes up with a flying bodypress on Orton, but then Muraco comes off the top with a kneedrop to break it up and the ref has had enough and calls for the DQ at 3:00. Kind of a weird DQ finish there but this was a HOT brawl while it lasted. And they fight all the way back to the dressing room.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Yup, it’s more from Ricky Steamboat, as we get another replay of the match in case you missed it the first few times they replayed the angle. Hey, this was the #2 angle in the promotion, can’t blame them. And we get footage of Ricky doing speech therapy with his doctor, rendered unable to say E.

Kamala v. Pedro Gonzalez

We actually get an inset from jobber Jack Kruger, who declares that after getting splashed by Kamala, he is NEVER EVER gonna wrestle Kamala ever again. Well he soon became a full time referee so he was right. Kamala quickly splashes Gonzalez and then goes to the top and hits THIS poor geek with the flying splash at 0:44. No wonder the Hogan program made so much money. They booked this guy like a movie monster or something.

Meanwhile, Blackjack Mulligan has been through the desert, on a horse with no name, where it’s presumably good to be out of the rain. And he’s riding after some random heels that he names off.

The Honky Tonk Man v. Jose Luis Rivera

So now after turning heel and picking up Jimmy Hart, Honky is at 150% level, just obnoxiously swiveling and dancing to irritate the fans. And now the crowd can freely and openly boo the shit out of him. Honky quickly slugs Rivera down and drops the fist on him before putting the boots to him, and he stops to dance again and now he knows exactly what to do out there after shedding the stupid babyface act for good. Honky with a clothesline and that sets up the Shake Rattle N Roll at 1:20. And then he debuts the delusional “Thank you, thank you very much!”. He just needs the new theme song and it’s money.

Meanwhile, Randy Savage appreciates all the fans sending cards and letters to Ricky Steamboat. But don’t expect Ricky to be able to read them out loud, because, you know, (THROAT SLASH GESTURE). Amazing.

King Kong Bundy v. Steve Gatorwolf

Speaking of people who need their throat slashed. Hopefully in prison. Gatorwolf gets a quick bit of offense with chops on Bundy, but Bundy wallops him in the corner to cut that off and drops a knee on him. Avalanche finishes at 1:15 with the five count as Jesse promises to keep up his investigation on the Andre thing, no matter what.

Piper’s Pit with special guests the Hart Foundation. The Harts actually debut their new hot pink gear here, to the best of my recollection, after playing around with various darker color combinations for months. Piper calls them the #1 contenders to the tag team titles and asks them if they’re afraid of dogs, so they kick a stuffed dog away. And then Piper brings them a fire hydrant and Anvil freaks out.

Butch Reed v. Jerry Monti

Reed runs Monti into the corner and takes him down for a fistdrop, and then follows with a high knee before finishing with the flying clothesline at 1:15.

Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura talks with Bobby Heenan in a repeat of last week’s segment, where Bobby admits to being at the Andre reinstatement meeting conducted by Jack Tunney.

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan puts his championship belt on after every match, but us fans need to buckle our seat belts before we leave in the car. I’m surprised Hogan didn’t take credit for inventing them in 1979 after the original inventor had to call him for advice and offered him the patent.

Meanwhile, Outback Jack reckons he’s ready for his debut soon.

The Killer Bees & Koko Bee Ware v. Mike Lucca, Buddy Ryder & Dennis Stamp

Koko also has a bee mask this week and I kind of hope they do a gag where the ref is unable to tell the difference when they switch. Also get a load of the bottom of the barrel pudgy geek jobbers on the other side, holy cow. Well at least Stamp got booked I guess. Koko (at least I think it’s him) controls Stamp and dropkicks him to the floor, and back in for some double-teaming from the Bees, who retain their masks through the match. Ryder charges in and the Bees run him in the corner, and its over to Lucca. Blair with the middle rope elbow and Brunzell hits him with the dropkick for two, but then they actually do the joke where Koko tries to switch in and the ref catches him. And so Brunzell dropkicks the jobber again and pins him at 3:10. This was fun nonsense.

NEXT WEEK: A special tribute to Andre the Giant! Randy Savage! Adrian Adonis! The Dream Team & Bravo v. Santana, Morales & Hillbilly!

Getting close to some really big stuff now, as we close out 1986 next week.