What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – 03.30.96

Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, and Jim Ross are calling today’s action, concluding the action in Corpus Christi, Texas. They welcome fans to the 500th episode of WWF Superstars.

Opening Contest: Savio Vega (0-1-1) pins Tatanka (w/Ted DiBiase) (2-4) after the spinning heel kick at 2:44:

This is the classic trope of a member of a stable trying to “soften up” the babyface before they face their primary rival. The action goes fast because the match is not given a lot of time, Savio quickly fights out of a chinlock and gets a near-fall from a side suplex. After that, Savio avoids a clothesline and hits his spinning heel kick to win his first singles match of the year. This would wrap up Tatanka’s four-year WWF campaign. He would work the independent circuit before returning in 2005.

Justin Bradshaw (w/Zebekiah) (6-0) pins Barry Horowitz (0-4) after the lariat at 3:42:

McMahon announces that Bradshaw will face the Undertaker on the next episode of Monday Night RAW. In the split screen, Bradshaw yells that he brands people because he wants to own them. Horowitz is not able to do much other than knock Bradshaw off his feet with three dropkicks. Bradshaw wins a long, extended squash with the lariat, giving McMahon and the other commentators a chance to hype the big matches on the WrestleMania card.

Dok Hendrix’s Slam Jam sees Diesel argue that he has no fear of the Undertaker. The Undertaker and Paul Bearer rebut that Diesel’s life is over at WrestleMania.

Steve Austin (w/Ted DiBiase) (6-0-1) defeats Ben Greer via submission to the Million Dollar Dream at 2:10:

It does not take long for Austin to put Greer to sleep, toying with the enhancement talent by poking him in the eyes before the Million Dollar Dream.

Austin refuses to let go of the Million Dollar Dream after the bell, leading to Savio Vega charging into the ring and attacking him. After DiBiase provides a distraction, Austin locks Savio in the Million Dollar Dream, only releasing it when officials enter the ring.

Intercontinental Champion Goldust, with Marlena, is by a big Oscar statue. Goldust argues that he and interim WWF President Roddy Piper are laying claim to the same territory and it is time for them to fight in a dark backlot.

The Bushwhackers (0-1) defeat Johnny Blade & Joseph White when Butch pins White after the Battering Ram at 1:57 shown:

Blade had entered the wrestling business a year earlier, working the Texas independent scene but doing nothing significant prior to this show.

Goldust’s promo causes this match to be joined in progress. That is probably for the best as Blade and White do not wrestle well. For example, Blade goes down on his back when Butch merely approaches him. White, meanwhile, appears to have been picked out of the crowd, wearing a black shirt and black pants. He also has some comic selling, going into convulsions with Bushwhacker punches and not going down smoothly from a clothesline. Instead of bumping as he takes the move, he has to be brought down by his neck. White tentatively runs into the Battering Ram, ending a squash where the Bushwhackers do not play much to the crowd until the match is won. The finish has some funny commentary as McMahon goes “That is not good” and Perfect responds “Neither is this match.”

Call 1-900-737-4WWF to hear the Ross Report, which provides WrestleMania XII predictions and late breaking news!

WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: The Godwinns (w/Hillbilly Jim) (5-0) defeat Owen Hart & the British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette) (1-1) via disqualification when the New Rockers interfere at 5:27 shown:

The New Rockers complain in the split screen that young ladies were ripped off in the WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament because they did not get to see them advance. They promise that the smelly Godwinns will not advance today and they have a plan. The announcers do not talk about the obvious problem that would occur if Owen and the Bulldog won as they would wrestle on the Free for All for the titles and then have to team with Vader in the six-man tag team match later in the evening. Jim fires Phineas up, leading to Cornette hitting Phineas in the back with his tennis racquet when Phineas runs the ropes. That leads to Jim chasing Cornette off with a dog. Henry receives the hot tag to no reaction after Owen goes shoulder-first into the ring post. When all hell breaks loose in the ring the Rockers come to ringside. The Bulldog hoists Henry for the running powerslam but Leif Cassidy gets on the top rope and crashes down onto Henry in view of the referee, causing a disqualification. Owen and the Bulldog were trying to make this into something but the Godwinns, especially Phineas, did not bring a lot to the table. The finish was bad too. Rating: *¼

Like goofballs, the Rockers think they have done something great until the announcement is made that the Godwinns have won. When Owen and the Bulldog confront them, the Rockers just shrug and head to the locker room. Ross calls the new team stupid.

The announce team does a hard sell for WrestleMania.

Backstage, Hillbilly Jim and the dog cause Jim Cornette to climb on top of a Hummer as the show ends.

The Last Word: One would have thought that the Tag Team Championship Tournament semi-final would have gotten more attention on the show but it just blended in with the other matches. There was not much drama around it because it was unlikely that Owen Hart and the British Bulldog would do double duty at WrestleMania but the finish did no favors for the Godwinns, who get a weak bid into the finals to face the Bodydonnas. Tatanka’s run ending was a mercy killing as he had lacked direction since last year’s King of the Ring. His departure means that Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Corporation only has two members left: Steve Austin and the 1-2-3 Kid.

As for the Slammy Awards, they aired Saturday evening on USA Network at 11 p.m. Here were the winners of each category:

Leader of the New Generation: Shawn Michaels
Lifetime Achievement Award: Classie Freddie Blassie
“Minds Behind the Mayhem” – Manager of the Year: Sunny
Match of the Year: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in a ladder match at SummerSlam
New Sensation of the Squared Circle: Ahmed Johnson
Future Hall of Famer Award: Bret Hart
“Put a Fork in Him, He’s Done” – Best Finishing Move: Bret Hart (Sharpshooter)
Master of Mat Mechanics: Shawn Michaels
Best Buns: Sunny
Best Slammin’ Jammin’ Entrance: Shawn Michaels
Crime of the Century: Vader’s Assault on WWF President Gorilla Monsoon
“I’m Talking and I Can’t Shut Up” Award: Jerry Lawler
Best Threads: Shawn Michaels
Blue Light Special for Worst Dresser: Jim Cornette
WWF’s Greatest Hit: The Undertaker Drags Diesel into the Abyss at In Your House 6
Most Embarrassing Moment: Jerry Lawler Kisses His Own Foot at The King of the Ring
Squared Circle Shocker: Shawn Michaels Collapses on Monday Night RAW
Best Music Video: “You Start the Fire” (Bret Hart)

Up Next: WrestleMania XII!

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