The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.07.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 09.07.91

Originally written 08.16.25

Another one posted to the WWE Vault channel today, to follow up on the pre-Summerslam episode from a few weeks back that must have done well. However, they skipped the 08.31.91 episode for whatever reason. That being said, I have all these shows available to me, so I can just carry on until we meet up with the start of 1992 again if that’s fine with everyone. The only thing is that they’ll be lacking the “Which music did they scrub this week?” game we usually play for official WWE postings.

Today’s YouTube rant: I subscribe to the Pawn Stars channel for their wacky compilation videos and stuff, so now my recommended feed is inundated with “shocking” video essays about how PAWN STARS IS FAKE. OH MY GOD YOU’RE KIDDING ME! THIS IS TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION! Like thanks, YouTube, I review pro wrestling for part of my living, I kinda figured out that the show was a work a few years back.

Your drinking game if watching this episode on YouTube: One sip every time they mute “WWF” or “of Wrestling”. Like, I get the latter, but the WWF lawsuit deal ran out ages ago and they’re allowed to run up and down the streets screaming “WWF” all they want now. I’m assuming then that these are sourced from the WWE 24/7 era where they still had to scrub all that stuff out.

Taped from Rochester, NY, 08.19.91, so still taped a week before Summerslam.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper goes on a rant about how Sid Justice was the only one to stand up for Randy Savage at the reception because he’s such a great guy!

The Texas Tornado v. Bubba Monroe

That’s a tremendous jobber name. Granted he looks like a not-so-secret member of the KKK on the weekends, but I have no proof of that besides his name and general look. Tornado slugs away in the corner after a super awkward series of stuff to start, as Bubba can barely figure out how to sell, and the discus punch finishes at 2:30. OK so let’s not bring Bubba Monroe back for any more tapings.

Meanwhile, at the Macho Wedding Reception, Savage shows Bobby Heenan the exit before the dinner, and then they have their first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Macho. With JJ Dillon looking on! Vince narrating the proceedings sounds kind of creepy. And then we get to the main event, as Elizabeth is opening up the gifts, but DISASTER STRUCK as there’s a king cobra in the box! And as you usually see at weddings, Undertaker takes out the groom and Jake Roberts terrorizes the bride with his snake until Sid saves with a chair and chases them off. This was TOP TIER pro wrestling wedding chaos, up there with the HHH & Stephanie Vegas wedding and other greats.

Skinner v. Scott Summers

Oh damn, Skinner better be careful or the jobber will blast everyone with his mutant eye beams! Skinner beats on him in the ropes and dumps him to the floor while we get an inset from the gator man himself, promising to skin the Dragon. Back in the ring, Skinner hits a form of the Pedigree and finishes with the slop drop at 2:11.

EVENT CENTER WITH SEAN MOONEY! British Bulldog doesn’t like bullies, so his target is most certainly Big Bully Busick. Also the Nasty Boys are mad at the LOD for losing the tag team titles.

Virgil v. Chris Duffy

No entrance for Virgil for some reason. He does have the Million Dollar belt, so I’m assuming they did an interview early in the taping where he stole it from Dibiase. Virgil tosses Duffy and hits him with a dive, and then back in for a slam and swinging neckbreaker before finishing with the Million Dollar Dream at 2:10.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Last week on the Funeral Parlor, Bobby Heenan brought the Big Gold Belt and made threats to Roddy Piper on behalf of the REAL WORLD’S CHAMPION, Ric Flair. So this brings out Piper in a neat bit of green screen trickery to get him away from the “announce desk”. Piper’s opinion is that Hulk Hogan is the only World champion and also he scares Flair. And then he spits on the belt and spits on Heenan! Well that’s incredibly rude of him.

The Berzerker v. Kerry Davis

Berzerker hits Davis with a big boot and powerslam and then comes off the middle rope with a kneedrop as we learn that Ric Flair will debut on Prime Time Wrestling this week, and Piper’s not invited. Piper’s all hot about that, and Vince tells him “Chill, chill” to calm him down in a funny bit. Berzerker ties the geek up in the ropes and puts the boots to him, and then tosses him to the floor for the countout win at 2:20. I believe this was the debut of Mr. Fuji as his manager, because previously fans didn’t know that he was a heel and they were supposed to boo him.

EVENT CENTER! WITH SEAN MOONEY!

This time we’ve got the Rockers, who apparently like to rock and roll and want a shot at the tag team titles. It still blows my mind that they eventually both won the titles, but with other people. Also we get comments from Big Bully Busick and Harvey Wippleman.

The Bushwhackers v. Dwayne Gill & Barry Hardy

Gill manages to clothesline Luke to the floor, but Butch attacks him from behind and punches him to the floor like a Three Stooges spot. Gill and Hardy get rammed together and back in the ring for more of a beating from Luke. Butch puts the boots to Gill in the corner and they finish with the battering ram and gutbuster at 3:21.

THE FUNERAL PARLOR with special guest IRS. Irwin complains about Big Bossman chaining people to the ropes and beating them illegally, and he’s going to do something about it.

Meanwhile, Bret Hart wins the IC title from Mr. Perfect at Summerslam!

The Warlord v. Mark Thomas

Warlord tosses him down and hits him with a big boot and shoulderblock while we get an inset promo from Warlord threatening Bret Hart and demanding a shot at the IC title. I don’t recall Bret doing a house show run with Warlord so apparently he dodged a bullet there. Like what a terrible first program for Bret as champion. Warlord with a delayed suplex and he finishes with the full nelson at 2:39. So I checked and GOOD LORD, that poor bastard Bret indeed had to work with the Warlord pretty much exclusively from the end of August until Survivor Series.

Next week: Undertaker! The orange gaslighting son of a bitch speaks! Jim Neidhart! The Natural Disasters! Jake Roberts! Sid Justice!