The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.22.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.22.91

Taped from Tucson, AZ

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage & Roddy Piper

Jake Roberts v. Mark Ming

Jake works a headlock while Vince continues needling Macho about a potential wedding upcoming. And we get an inset from Andre the Giant, as he notes that both he and Jake have issues with Earthquake, and Jake finishes with the DDT at 1:25 while Savage desperately changes the subject.

SUMMERSLAM 91 IS COMING!

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND! BROUGHT TO YOU BY HASBRO!

Last week, Tugboat betrayed us all and turned on the Bushwhackers, joining with Earthquake in a SHOCKING twist. I’ve heard he’s the master of shocks. And Gene reveals that Tugboat is now TYPHOON and they’re now the Natural Disasters.

The Beverly Brothers v. Rob Jones & Tom Zeller

So Coach returns after his debut last week, managing the Beverlies for their debut. Beau beats on Jones in the corner and drops him with a back suplex, and Blake comes in with an overhead suplex and then beats Zeller down and powerslams him for one. And they finish with the Shaker Heights Spike at 2:35. There was absolutely no effort to define the Beverlies or give them a character here.

SID JUSTICE IS COMING!

The British Bulldog v. Bill Lucas

They fight for the lockup and Bulldog overpowers him while Vince steers the conversation back to wedding talk with Macho. Bulldog with a press slam and back elbow, and a delayed suplex follows. Meanwhile Piper adds a story about seeing flowers delivered to Elizabeth, although he didn’t see what was written on the card, to be fair. Davey with a corner clothesline and powerslam to finish at 2:23.

IRS v. Jim Colher

Irwin with a slam and he puts the boots to Cohler while Savage threatens to turn Piper’s books over to the IRS for an audit, which is a pretty effective way to change the subject I guess. Irwin tosses Cohler and back in for the samoan drop to finish at 1:17.

The Funeral Parlor with special guest Big Bossman

Bossman is still upset about the Canadian Mountie assaulting him with the shock stick, claiming that he’s a police officer and thus they broke the law. Actually Mountie is the one who’s the police officer, Bossman is more law-adjacent.

WBF REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

WE get some highlights from the WBF Championship show this past weekend, and everyone has their own gimmick. Like the Rock N Roll Wild Child, who wears a funky hat before stripping down to his thong and posing. But of course, it as inevitably Gary Strydom who went home with the coveted WBF Championship! He credits the others as the “best athletes in the world”, which is hilarious. And we get comments from Macho Man and Elizabeth, and then Ultimate Warrior. Warrior is dressed in a while dress shirt and suspenders for reasons I can’t fathom.

Greg Valentine v. Billy Gatlin

Poor Greg didn’t even make the “this week on Superstars” reel at the beginning. Valentine works the arm to start and beats on him with chops in the corner before adding a gutbuster. So apparently Mean Gene will be doing some investigative reporting on Savage’s relationship with Elizabeth, because he’s literally the only person available and does all the reporting and investigating himself. Hammer takes out the leg and finishes with the figure-four while the heat machine is just over the top with overdubbed cheering.

Meanwhile, more WWF superstars comment on Sid, including Jim Duggan and Mr. Perfect.

The Undertaker v. Mark Baszo

Taker hits him with the flying clothesline and he follows with a sideslam and finishes with the tombstone at 1:25.

NEXT WEEK: Texas Tornado! Sgt. Slaughter! Virgil! More on Sid! The Dragon! The Natural Disasters debut!