The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 04.27.91
By Scott Keith on 22 June 2026
The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 04.27.91
Originally written 06.20.26
Taped from Las Vegas, NV on 03.26.91
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper & Randy Savage
Still the stupid USA introduction, sadly.
Big Bossman v. Pez Whatley
Yup, it’s a patented Bossman opener on Superstars! He runs Pez into the corner and rolls him up for two, so Pez bails to the floor. Back in, Bossman with a neckbreaker and he slugs Whatley down and finishes with the Bossman slam at 1:15.
UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!
This week, we discuss Andre the Giant, as he’s chilling at a bar and Sherri stops by and offers to be his manager. She offers anything he wants, so Andre gets a hilariously demented look on his face and then bends her over the bar and spanks her. Well that was sure a thing that happened.
The Undertaker v. Larry Ludden
Taker quickly hits the ropewalk and finishes with the tombstone at 1:30. Afterwards, the jobber gets shoved in a bodybag. Has anyone checked if he perhaps turned his back on the Wolfpac?
The Genius v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Genius minces and prances around while we get an inset promo from Col Mustafa, and Duggan finishes Genius with the three point stance at 1:11. Poor Genius was doing nothing for a long time until they found the Beverlies.
Meanwhile, we learn about HOT TICKET PPV, featuring Wrestlemania’s History and Heroes.
Mr. Perfect v. Randy Taylor
Perfect beats on him in the corner and hits the necksnap and a dropkick, while we get an inset promo from Winston the Dog and to a lesser degree, Davey Boy Smith. And NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX at 1:30.
Meanwhile, we get a promo from Barry Demey of the WBF, as all the kids are getting ready to order their first PPV show on June 15.
The Funeral Parlor with special guest Rowdy Roddy Piper. He talks about learning to defend himself witches in order to deal with Sherri. And then he turns around and tells Bearer to give him his best shot, but then Virgil sneaks up and prevents him from delivering the punch, revealing that Virgil is his defense against the dark arts. So then we get puppet theater as Piper and Virgil play with Dibiase and Sherri plushes and then shove them in the casket.
Earthquake v. Jake Roberts
Jake hits him with a kneelift and goes for the snake right away, sending Quake running away to the floor while Damian slithers around the ring. Vince clarifies that the match didn’t actually start officially, although I heard the bell. Quit gaslighting me, Vince! Back in the ring, the officials demand that Jake put the snake back in the bag before we can begin, and then further he has to stick the bag under the ring. So Quake waits for him to comply and then attacks on the floor, before pulling out the bag and then tying Jake in the ropes so he’s nice and helpless. And then it’s one of the greatest moments of 1991, maybe ever, as he puts the bagged snake in the middle of the ring and delivers the BUTT SPLASH as the crowd shrieks in horror. Sadly we don’t even get to see the impact, as they cut to Sean Mooney in the Event Center, and then return with Jake crying in terror as Quake hits a SECOND one. Jake finally escapes and tears open the bag, but he’s too horrified to look at what remains inside.
RIP Damian, 1986-1991.
Let’s all take a moment of silence to remember him. Jake’s a big boy, I’m sure he’ll find a healthy way to grieve and deal with it.
The Rockers v. Barry O & Bill Lucas
I know we all need time to grieve, but it’s been a whole commercial break and there’s still wrestling to watch. Shawn backdrops Barry out of the corner and the Rockers chase him out of the ring with a double elbow. We get an inset promo from the Orient Express as Pat Tanaka actually gets to TALK and he kind of sounds like Scott Steiner. Double fistdrop finishes Lucas at 1:30.
Meanwhile, IRS is sick of hearing excuses for late tax filings, like “My husband just had a huge coronary”. Lots of wrestler wives using THAT one, I bet.
NEXT WEEK: Update on Jake Roberts! The Berzerker! The Texas Tornado v. Col Mustafa! Virgil! Hulk Hogan on the Funeral Parlor! The Nasty Boys v. The Rockers!
And then on the way out, Vince plugs a show with a battle royal “this weekend” featuring Hulk Hogan and then Ultimate Warrior against Sgt. Slaughter. This would of course be the series finale of Saturday Night’s Main Event on NBC, going out with a whimper.