The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.07.87

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.07.87

Time for a seminal part of my childhood and one of the most memorable episodes of the show, maybe ever.

Taped from Tampa, FL on 01.26.87

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino & Jesse Ventura

Randy Savage v. David Gold

The lighting for this taping is INCREDIBLE, as the Sun Dome was sold out and Vince just cranked up the brightness in every corner. It looks amazing. Savage goes for a slam and the jobber actually falls on him for two and gets his own slam for two. But then Savage nails him with the short clothesline and tosses him over the top rope while we get an inset from Elizabeth, who is understandably concerned about the return of Steeamboat. She just hopes both teams have fun. Savage drops the axehandle on the geek and back in for a kneedrop that gets two, and the big elbow finishes at 1:36. Vince acknowledges that some people are actually cheering the Macho Man. Yeah, the SMART PEOPLE.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

After bids from MSG, Wembley and the Rose Bowl, the WWF has decided that it’s the PONTIAC SILVERDOME that gets Wrestlemania III on March 29. Gene points out that the dome can hold over 90,000 people (although I’ve heard it’s more like 71,000) and they’ve already set a new indoor attendance record before the show was even announced.

WWF World tag team title: The British Bulldogs v. The Hart Foundation

So Dynamite was famously injured back in late 86 at a house show against Muraco & Orton, and has been on the shelf since then. His back was so fucked up that Davey had to carry him to the ring piggy-back, and then put him at ringside for the start of the match. And notably, Danny Davis is the referee here. Jimmy “knocks out” Kid with the megaphone on the floor while Davey faces the Harts alone in the ring, hitting Bret with a delayed suplex and tossing Neidhart. It’s a double noggin knocker while Danny checks on the Kid outside, and Davey whips them together and runs Bret into the corner for the first Bret Hart Bump on Superstars. Bret takes a great bump to the floor off that and Davey powerslams Anvil to finish things off, but Davis again goes to check on the Kid while Vince is APOPLECTIC. So Bret recovers and the Harts double-team Davey with no referee oversight, putting the boots to him and hitting him with a double DDT. And the Hart Attack finishes at 2:55 while Vince yells NO NO NO, making the Harts the new tag team champions. Vince declares that it’s the biggest disgrace in the history of WWF officiating. I’m not sure Bret Hart would agree with that. And they do a replay of the highlights, ending with a headshot of a smiling Danny Davis. This whole thing was art. Lemme tell ya, my wrestling nerd friends at school were HORRIFIED at the Bulldogs losing the titles.

Oddly enough, the first fallout came in Stampede Wrestling, as the WWF lent Davey and Bret for a tour and Davey faced Bret in chain matches after some buildup on Stampede TV. It was actually pretty cool at the time.

Hercules v. Buddy Blake

Herc shrugs off a headlock attempt and drops Blake on the top rope before dropping an elbow on him for two. We get an inset from Billy Jerk, who challenges Herc to a FULL NELSON challenge to determine who can perform the fullest nelson. Herc with a suplex and he stops to pose imposingly before going to a facelock. Meanwhile Vince claims that WM3 is going to be the largest gathering of wrestling fans in pro wrestling history. Hopefully they also had the largest gathering of deodorant and soap vendors at the concessions. Full nelson finishes at 3:15.

Outback Jack v. Steve Lombardi

They even have Hillbilly Jim out there to endorse Jack, while putting him in the ring with the top line jobber to make sure his debut can’t possibly fail. AND THEN THE BELL RANG. Jack works a hammerlock on Lombardi and hits him with a hiptoss and slam as you can see Lombardi literally throwing himself at the immobile Jack and taking his own bumps. Lombardi gets some offense and works him over on the ropes, putting him down with an elbow as Jack finally takes a sort of bump. Jack comes back with an atomic drop into the corner and then hits a clothesline to the front and then a clothesline to the back to finish at 2:55, which was the Boomerang. This was ALL Lombardi and it’s actually quite impressive how Steve almost made him look like Jack had anything to offer.

Piper’s Pit! With special guests Hulk and Andre!

So as promised, Roddy Piper produces Hulk Hogan, and Jesse has Andre the Giant. But also, Andre brings BOBBY HEENAN with him, revealing the secret connection between them and explaining why he was at the reinstatement meeting. Hulk demands an explanation and begs it not to be true, but Andre just gives him stone face. Bobby goes to explain and Hulk cuts him off, so Bobby tells Hulk that Andre is SICK AND TIRED of Hulk’s crap, using Andre and stealing his moments out of jealousy. Hulk: “YOU’RE WRONG! YOU’RE WRONG! YOU’RE WRONG!” Wow what an eloquent comeback, you selfish fuck. Hulk goes to embrace Andre and he just goes “Take your hands off my shoulders” like a boss, and then he’s here for one reason only: TO CHALLENGE HULK TO A CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AT THE WRESTLEMANIA. And then Andre tears off the shirt and walks off like the baddest motherfucker, ripping off Hulk’s cross in the process. Piper can only console Hulk and gently tell him that his chest is bleeding. WRESTLEMANIA III BABY. I’m 100% on Andre’s side here. Hulk treated him like a bitch and never offered him a title match, and only called him when HE needed help. The only person more screwed over by Hogan was the Macho Man.

The Killer Bees v. Jimmy Jack Funk & Al Navarro

Blair runs wild on the heels while the announcers are notably in shock over the last segment and Vince is probably distracted by counting all the money he’s about to make. Bees with the double backdrop on Funk and it’s over to Navarro, as Jesse thinks that Hogan is yellow and will duck Andre. He’s more orange, I’d say. Bees with a double elbow for two and Blair works on the arm, but the heels actually get heat on Blair as this drags on so the announcers can have an extended discussion about Hogan and Andre. Blair finally makes a comeback on Navarro and Brunzell dropkicks him to finish at 5:31.

Meanwhile, new announcer Craig DeGeorge debuts and tries to find out Hulk’s state of mind, and Gene stops by to declare that Hogan “has had a dagger stuck in his heart”. I think he’s confusing that with the needle stuck in his ass.

Butch Reed v. David Stoudemire

Butch beats Stoudemire down and hits him with a bulldog, and that gets two while we get an inset from Koko B. Ware. Reed with a nice clothesline and he finishes with the gorilla press and elbowdrop at 1:50. Man I like Reed way more here in 2026, he had the goods.

The event center actually features the debut of Barry Darsow as Smash on this show, replacing Randy Colley already as they hype the Feb 23 MSG show.

NEXT WEEK: The Can-Am Connection! Demolition! Junkyard Dog! Maybe some matches for Wrestlemania III?

Hard to top this one.