The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.04.89

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 02.04.89

Originally written 08.22.25

Taped from Huntsville, AL, on 01.03.89

WHEN WE LAST LEFT OFF, the Megapowers were preparing to meet the Twin Towers on some kind of nationally broadcast channel in a tag team match. Hopefully things went OK for them.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura

The Ultimate Warrior v. Dale Veasey

Honestly Dave looks like someone who should be playing a Minnesota Russian here, complete with furry boots, although he gained his greatest “fame” as Lt. James Earl Wright of the State Patrol in WCW later on. Warrior sends him flying to the floor and then tosses Dale on his shoulders and carries him back into the ring again for a clothesline. We get an inset from Rick Rude as Warrior finishes with the gorilla press and big splash at 1:45. And Veasey goes down nice and easy.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Let us take you back to the BATTLE OF CROWN, courtesy of Coliseum Home Video, as Harley Race battles Haku for the Kingship. The staggering irony of this being brought to you by Coliseum Video is that this match was in fact cut from the tape to save time, so hopefully you didn’t buy the Royal Rumble tape hoping to see it. Joined with Haku missing a diving headbutt, but then so does Harley, while Bobby Heenan makes non-committal words of encouragement to either guy on the floor. Race is up first, but he walks into the thrust kick and gets pinned to make him the undisputed regent.

Bret Hart v. Dangerous Danny Davis

Davis was featured in a video recently going around social media, and he’s somehow turned into a grey haired hippie in his old age. Good for him, I say. Bret slugs away in the corner while Bret does an inset promo threatening the Honky Tonk Man, which means that the Harts v. Honky & Valentine match at WM5 actually had a backstory!? I don’t remember that at all and I was watching these shows religiously in 1989. Jimmy gets some choking on Bret from the outside, but Danny still can’t get anything going, as Bret drops an elbow on him and follows with an atomic drop. Meanwhile Vince and Jesse discuss the EXPLOSION OF THE MEGAPOWERS and of course Vince takes the side of the gaslighting orange son of a bitch. Bret with a piledriver for the pin at 3:00 to complete the squash. Jimmy Hart tries to attack Bret afterwards, but Bret grabs him and slaps him around for good measure. Bret v. Honky would have been an interesting house show match, I think.

Big Bossman v. Rick Allen

Jesse has the correct opinion on the orange gaslighting son of a bitch here, pointing out that he snuck in the back door and challenged the guy who was supposed to be his best friend because he was JEALOUS. Bossman hits Allen with a clothesline while Vince credits the orange gaslighting son of a bitch with Savage’s tournament win at Wrestlemania 4. Yeah well of course he’d politic himself into that position. Bossman Slam finishes at 2:20, and he handcuffs the jobber and beats him with the nightstick. Probably had to amputate his arm after that! Maybe he can be a drummer or something.

The Red Rooster v. Craig Bowman

This is the debut of the Rooster’s babyface music, as poor Terry no longer has a name and is just poultry in the eyes of the WWF. Rooster works the arm as Vince hypes up comments from both halves of the former Megapowers next week, although they’re very vague about things here because the show would have been produced before the Main Event occurred. Rooster with a jawbreaker and he hits Bowman with a stungun and finishes with the COCK OF THE WALK at 3:00. That move name never made any sense to me, as he wasn’t walking. They should have called it the Drumstick or something.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v. Mark Bow & Dave Stoudemire

Another hot music debut, with ALL AMERICAN BOYS premiering here and giving the world an all time banger entrance theme. Jacques does a pair of kip ups and then challenges Bow to follow him (“Let’s see you do it, Captain America”) and then Jacques clotheslines the goof when he does it. Over to Stoudemire, but the Rougeaus hit him with a double dropkick and do the abdominal stretch and superkick combo. And they finish with the flying crotch rocket from Jacques at 2:28. They don’t make entrance songs like that one anymore, boy!

Brother Love with special guest Jake Roberts. Jake quickly brushes off talk about Andre the Giant and scares off Brother Love with the snake.

Ted Dibiase v. Sam Houston

Dibiase attacks him before the bell and CREAMS him with a clothesline, and then winds up and hits him with an even better one to send Sam ass over teakettle. Speaking of which, he sends Sam to the floor with another great bump and then suplexes him back into the ring while Jesse casually notes that he bodyguarded Mick Jagger while recovering from knee surgery. Houston gets a sunset flip for two, but Dibiase takes him down with a gut wrench and drops the fist on him a few times while we get an inset from Big John Studd, who apparently can’t be bought. Studd has done NOTHING since winning the Rumble. What a pointless win that was. Sam comes back with a crossbody for two and a pair of dropkicks, but Dibiase catches him with the powerslam in mid-air and pins him at 3:45. That was slick. This Dibiase guy is a hell of a worker. I know that’s a hot take. This was a good match too.

COMING SOON: WRESTLEMANIA V! Man say what you will about the venue but those promo pieces for the show made it seem like a BIG FUCKING DEAL. You could not watch that slot machine gimmick and feel un-pumped for the show. Good lord that thing should have been in a gigantic stadium or something.

The Rockers v. Dusty Wolfe & Bob Blake

So uh, “Bob Blake” is clearly just Dave Veasey working a second match on this show under another name, but with the exact same gear! Not sure what happened there. Wolfe gets double-teamed and Shawn puts him down with a backbreaker, and then catapults him into a bulldog from Marty. That’s a cool double-team! Rockers with a double hiptoss to send Wolfe into the corner and it’s over to “Blake”, as Marty clotheslines him into a sunset flip from Shawn. Rockers with stereo death valley drivers on the jobbers, and Shawn hits Wolfe with a back elbow. Shawn goes up and comes off Marty’s shoulders with a forearm, and pins Wolfe at 2:49. Man the Rockers were FEELING IT here, working out all kinds of crazy double-team nonsense in advance of the impending debut of a certain other team.

NEXT WEEK: Bolsheviks v. Bushwhackers! Brutus Beefcake! Honky Tonk Man! THE MEGAPOWERS EXPLODE!