The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 01.28.89

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 01.28.89

Originally written 08.10.25

Taped from Huntsville, AL, on 01.03.89

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura

Demolition v. Tommy Causey & Allen Kinsey

Smash kicks the crap out of Causey in the corner to start and the Demos double-team him before Smash hits him with a GIANT backdrop. Ax with a clothesline and Causey takes a flip bump off that while we get an inset promo from the Powers of Pain and Fuji. Over to Kinsey and Smash just tosses him out of the ring for a shot from Ax, and Smash beats him down in the ring again. Smash just beats on him with forearms and follows with a clothesline to set up the Demolition Decapitation to finish at 3:15. Replay of that backdrop shows Causey taking a crazy bump and landing on his neck on the way down. Geez, take it easy, kid.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE!

Gene recaps the Super Posedown at the Royal Rumble and Rude’s questionable victory via knockout.

“Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig v. Paul Bryant

We actually get an inset promo from the JOBBER here, who vows to show that no one is perfect at the end of the match. I don’t like his chances. Perfect takes him down and walks on him and then works a leglock on the mat while slapping the goober around. Bryant actually gets a clothesline out of the corner and slams Hennig, but he puts his head down and Curt boots him in the head and then gives him a giant backdrop and then quips NOW I’M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT before hitting the Perfectplex at 2:45. He needs to work on the catchphrase but otherwise he’s got potential I think.

The Mighty Hercules v. Tony Burton

So as usual, they hype up “prime time wrestling on Friday” but can’t say what the show is or what network it’s airing on, but just know that Hercules is facing Ted Dibiase on that mysterious show on live TV! Hercules beats him down with forearms and tosses him to the floor, and then back in for an armbar while Vince declines to pick a winner of the match on Friday night before changing his mind and going with Hercules. Also “35 million” people will be watching. Well that prediction definitely didn’t come true. The torture rack finishes at 2:43. The show actually did an 11.6 rating, which would work out to about 16 million viewers.

The Brainbusters v. Tim Horner & Jose Luis Rivera

The jobbers actually get some double-teaming on Tully, but Horner gets trapped in the Buster corner and Tully drops him on the top rope to block a headscissors. Arn stomps him down, but Horner gets a sunset flip on Tully for two. Tully misses a charge and hits the post and it’s back to Rivera, as he hiptosses Tully out of the corner and hits him with a missile dropkick for two. Arn makes the save and the Busters hit Rivera with a spike piledriver behind the ref’s back, with Arn making the pin at 2:29 despite being the illegal man. Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!

BROTHER LOVE, with special guests the Megapowers! They will be facing the team of Big Bossman and Akeem on this mysterious Friday night live television broadcast, and both of them have felt “the lick of the stick”, and the result is that they’re going to have the GREATEST TAG TEAM MATCH OF ALL TIME. Yeah but that’s just because the Young Bucks weren’t around yet. Brother Love notes that things seem a bit tense between the Megapowers, but the orange gaslighting son of a bitch lies and says he only loves Elizabeth like a sister and loves Macho Man like a brother, brother. Savage sees right through that bullshit and gives him the stinkeye while he’s spewing his nonsense because he can see the LUST in his eyes! Also Savage notes that the Twin Towers are going to come crumbling down after the Richter Scale spins around 42 times due to him dropping the big elbow on them. I don’t think the Richter Scale works that way. And we get the last ever Megapower handshake before everything goes sideways on that Friday show.

The Brooklyn Brawler v. Reno Riggins

Brawler doesn’t quite have his normal gear yet, as he’s just got his usual black trunks at this point. Brawler beats Reno down and clotheslines him, and then runs him into the corner and chokes him out. Brawler chokes him out on the mat and takes him to the top for a superplex, and that finishes at 2:22. I didn’t even know Lombardi had a finisher.

Jim Neidhart v. Jerry Price

Neidhart beats on Price with forearms and powerslams him for the pin at 0:52. I know Hitman was busy doing singles wrestling at this point but Anvil as a single was no buys.

Meanwhile, Big John Studd, having won the Royal Rumble, has nothing going on and wants competition if anyone wants to challenge him.

Bad News Brown v. Steve Reece

Vince argues that Reece might actually be Steve Reeves, the guy who played Hercules and was one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time. Jesse thinks that if Vince ever got in the ring he’d look terrified and beat up just like Reece. Can you imagine in 1989 finding out that VINCE MCMAHON would be a future WWF champion? Bad News finishes with the Ghetto Blaster at 1:30.

NEXT WEEK: RED ROOSTER! THE ROUGEAU BROTHERS! JAKE ROBERTS! BRET HART V. DANNY DAVIS!

And we finish with comments from the Twin Towers in advance of Friday night’s live TV spectacular on some sort of Nationally Broadcast Cable system where they will face the Megapowers. Well, unfortunately we don’t know where that match is happening, so I don’t be able to check it out. Too bad, sounds like something big might happen.