The SmarK Rant for WWF Summerslam Fever Special – 08.19.90

The SmarK Rant for WWF Summerslam Fever Special – 08.19.90

Originally written 09.02.25

Yup, it’s another show building up to a PPV

Taped from Utica, NY on 08.15.90

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan

Demolition Smash v. Jim Neidhart

They fight for the lockup and trade shoulderblock attempts, as Smash loses that battle. Anvil goes to the arm after a big boot, but Smash slams out of that and goes to work with the smashing. Vince is impressed at Neidhart’s ability to MIX IT UP ROUGH-HOUSE STYLE, one of his highest praises. Anvil with the BAAAAACK BODYDROP and a dropkick for two. Legsweep gets two as the crowd is dead silent and even the heat machine is bored. They fight to the floor and Neidhart tries a sunset flip, but Smash grabs the ropes for the pin at 7:00. Hebner was literally looking at grabbing the ropes there and he was probably like “Fuck it, let’s just end this match.” ½*. Afterwards, Neidhart steals the tag team title belt, but Ax and Crush justifiably jump him and take their property back.

Demolition joins Mean Gene for a special interview, as Ax promises that at Summerslam, the Hart Foundation will have to ensure a full nine course meal of Demolition.

The Texas Tornado v. Black Bart

I barely remember Bart doing WWF shows. Kerry takes him down and goes after the leg, but Bart slugs back in the corner. Kerry with a hiptoss and clothesline to send Bart to the floor, and back in for the Tornado punch to finish at 2:42. Man this wasn’t even the low point of Bart’s career yet. DUD

Mr. Perfect joins Mean Gene for a special interview to discuss his impending title defense against the Tornado. He’s perfect and thus is unable to be beaten!

The Warlord v. Pez Whatley

Is like this Mid-Atlantic midcarder jobbing hour or something? Pez works the arm, but Warlord catches him and puts him down with a backbreaker while Bobby goes on a deal about Big Bossman’s mother. Warlord tries to ram Pez into the corner and Pez tries his hard-headed comeback but the crowd doesn’t care because it’s Utica and not North Carolina. Pez goes up and dives, but Warlord catches him and powerslams him to finish at 2:48. DUD

Meanwhile, Rick Rude trains for Ultimate Warrior, although the first portion has Rude with longer hair and then cuts to another sparring session where he’s got the short hair.

Ultimate Warrior joins Mean Gene for a special interview, as Gene reminds us that Rude beat Warrior once before. Yeah well Warrior beat him right back so they’re even. It’s the RUBBER MATCH. Gene reminds us that flesh can literally be torn from the bone in steel cage matches. Yeah if you’re doing all the steroids in the world like those two. Also a cage match made no sense for this feud, because the point is supposed to be preventing the heel from running away or other people from running in, and neither thing was a concern here.

Boris Zhukov v. Nikolai Volkoff

Yes, it’s the dawn of babyface Volkoff, as he now loves the USA. Volkoff slugs on Boris in the corner and they brawl to the floor as Nikolai slams him out there and puts the boots to him. Back in the ring, Volkoff slams Boris by the beard and hits him with a clothesline to the back for the pin at 2:35. I like his bodypress backbreaker better. DUD

Macho King Randy Savage joins Mean Gene for a special interview as there’s a WHOLE lot of talking on this special. Oh yeah macho madness blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, on Superstars, Tugboat is busy squashing some geek, but Earthquake and Dino Bravo attack him and destroy him to take him out of Summerslam at the last minute in a move that still doesn’t make any particular sense.

The Brother Love Show with special guests Earthquake and the Orange Gaslighting Son of a Bitch. Look, the Wrestlemania Challenge deal was a nice breezy 90 minutes but this has been yap yap yap yap and a couple of squashes so far. Anyway they had advertised Quake but couldn’t even deliver that, as Jimmy Hart comes out instead and Hulk beats him up and threatens Brother Love and then poses like he did something.

Power & Glory v. Mark Thomas & Mike Williams

Roma with a dropkick on Thomas and Herc tosses him to the floor, and back in for an elbowdrop. Powerplex finishes at 2:34. P&G had some really impressive squashes and looked like they were gonna be something, but WM7 just killed them dead.

Sweet Sapphire joins Mean Gene for a special interview. And she’s rocking more fancy jewelry from an unknown benefactor.

Jake Roberts v. Iron Mike Sharpe

Jake works the arm but Sharpe puts him down with an elbow while we discuss the “200 pounds of sewer rats” that are supposed going to be at ringside at Summerslam for Bad News Brown. Vince and Bobby just didn’t have any chemistry on commentary and awkward runs like this one show why. Jake makes a quick comeback and finishes with the short arm and DDT at 2:30.

Meanwhile, Bad News is training his 200 pound sewer rats. Are they like the Rodents of an Unusual Size from the Princess Bride? I don’t think they exist.

Mr. Perfect v. Rugged Ronnie Garvin

I don’t see this one saving the show but I hold out hope. They trade slaps in the corner and Garvin sends him to the floor with a hiptoss. He’s MIXING IT UP ROUGH-HOUSE STYLE. Thinking that, just three years earlier, these guys were both World champions AT THE SAME TIME, is kind of mind blowing. Perfect beats on him with forearms and they slug it out in the corner. “Not much of a wrestling match at all” notes Vince. Yeah. Garvin chops Perfect to the floor and back in for a jackknife cradle that gets two. Garvin splashes him for two and goes to a chinlock while Vince decries the rough-house tactics of Perfect, feeling like he shouldn’t mix it up with Garvin instead of being a ring tactician. Sadly Bobby is at ringside for this this so Vince is left to his own devices to talk like that. Garvin tries a suplex and Perfect reverses to the Perfectplex to finish at 6:00. Garvin was clearly out of shits to give by this point. *

Dino Bravo joins Mean Gene for a special interview, which is really stretching the credibility of “special” as if Sapphire didn’t do so already.

The Orient Express v. Shane Douglas & Sonny Blaze

Yup, gotta heat up the Orient Express before they do a 2 minute squash job at Summerslam. Shane gets some offense on Tanaka and takes on both Orients with a headscissors as you can now clearly see the crowd emptying out at the end of this taping. But then it’s over to Blaze and the bad guys take over on him and double-team with their usual stuff and finish him off with a big kick at 2:00.

Earthquake v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Duggan with all his stalling to start, but Quake attacks him from behind while he’s busy with Jimmy Hart and beats on him in the corner. Quake beats him down and goes to a bearhug, but he misses a charge in the corner and allows Duggan to make a comeback. Three point stance and Quake won’t go down, so Dino Bravo runs in for the DQ at 6:22. These two were like the nWo finish of 1990. ½*. Luckily Hogan saves and makes it all about himself as usual.

Ad then we get predictions and wrapup from Brother Love and Mean Gene to end the show.

This one did NOT make me excited to see Summerslam 90, and it was mostly a slog of repetitive interviews and squashes. Hard pass.