The SmarK Rant for WWF Madison Square Garden – 10.21.85

The SmarK Rant for WWE Old School – MSG 10.21.85

Originally written 08.12.25

Even though the WWE Network dropped the 85 MSG shows as of September 85, Fish & Chips is here to provide instead. Obviously this is going to crossover a lot with the Philly Spectrum show I reviewed from around the same time recently, minus David Sammartino submitting to a bearhug.

Taped from Madison Square Garden, drawing 19000.

Your hosts are Jesse Ventura & Gorilla Monsoon

Steve Gatorwolf v. Terry Gibbs

So we’ve discussed Mr. Wolf in the past and how he’s a very bad person. Just don’t Google it, you’ll be happier. Suffice to say he’d likely have a position in the Trump administration these days if he was still around. Gatorwolf with an atomic drop and he takes Gibbs down with a headlock while Gorilla rags on the ref for even wasting his time counting a side headlock because no one’s ever been pinned with one before! And then he accuses Gibbs of cheating because “he knows Gibbs pretty well”. Highly questionable announcing from the Gorilla here. Gatorwolf chops him down for two, so Gibbs pokes him in the eye and puts him down with a neckbreaker for two. Gibbs drops an elbow for two while Jesse brings up the famous rainstorm show in Puerto Rico that had just happened at that point. Gatorwolf misses a charge and Gibbs hits him with a kneelift in the corner and tosses him, but Gatorwolf gets a sunset flip on the way in and Gibbs blocks it. Kneedrop gets two, but Gatorwolf cradles for two. Gibbs to the top and Gatorwolf slams him off the top and hits a chop to finish at 7:25. ½*

Adrian Adonis v. SD Jones

Interesting note for those who keep asking, this is the show where Finkel announces that SD has moved from Antigua West Indies to Philadelphia! Mystery solved. Adonis is in the last stages of his leather clad street tough persona, and SD attacks him and slugs him into the corner to end Adrian’s stalling. So then Adrian stalks around the ring for another couple of minutes and then finally attacks Jones from behind and beats him down in the corner to take over. He tosses Jones, still wearing his leather jacket, and slams him on the floor before finally taking the jacket off. Adrian slugs him off the apron while Jimmy lays the badmouth on him with his brand new megaphone, which has a “crisper and cleaner sound” according to Jesse, thanks to the higher wattage. Adonis with a suplex back into the ring, and he drops an elbow for two. Adonis hits him with elbows, but that’s of course a mistake, and SD fights back with the headbutt and Adrian bumps into the ropes and gets tied up. But then SD puts his head down and Adrian drops him with the DDT and pins him at 7:00. Turned into a decently good match after all the gaga. **1/2

Tony Atlas & Mike Rotundo v. Iron Mike Sharpe & Barry O

So this would be just after Barry Windham left the promotion, leaving Rotundo looking for a new partner in the interim. Granted Tony Atlas is a fine choice of USA-themed wrestler. Also of note, they use “Real American” as their entrance theme, one of the few times it was used for someone other than Hulk. Finkel casts some shade on Sharpe, noting that he was WANTING to be recognized as Canada’s Greatest Athlete, just showing gross disrespect for our national hero. I should note that Gorilla does acknowledge that Sharpe is the best conditioned of all the people in the ring. The heels double-team Rotundo, but Sharpe accidentally hits Barry with the forearm brace and they have to work things out on the floor. Luckily they hug it out. Back in the ring, Rotundo with a crossbody on Sharpe for two and Atlas comes in and rams them together before going to work on Iron Mike. Mike offers a truce, but Atlas squeezes his hand really hard, which seems to go against the spirit of a handshake. Over to Rotundo, and Barry hits him with a running stomp and a Bulldog powerslam for two. Barry cuts off the ring with a facelock, but Rotundo just powers him down and it’s back to Tony Atlas, who hits Barry with a headbutt and piledriver to set up a bearhug.

Barry thumbs the eye to escape and Iron Mike comes in for some double-teaming in the corner, but then Atlas bearhugs HIM too while Gorilla notes that Gretzky would dispute Sharpe’s claims of being Canada’s greatest athlete. Yeah Gretzky isn’t exactly Canada’s favorite athlete these days. Sharpe pounds on Rotundo with the forearms and Barry cuts off the ring with the facelock again. Sharpe with his own facelock on Rotundo, but he fights them off and Sharpe grabs the leg to keep him in. So Rotundo hits him with an enzuigiri and Atlas gets the hot tag and runs wild. He runs Barry into the corner and tries a press slam, but Sharpe pushes them over and Barry gets two. Barry with the chinlock and they work on Atlas some more, but Tony hits Sharpe with an atomic drop and rams the heels together as it’s PANDEMONIUM BREAKING LOOSE. Atlas headbutts Sharpe for two but the heels isolate Atlas again and he has to tag Rotundo back in again. Powerslam on Barry O gets two. Dropkick and aeroplane spin finish at 16:42. They put four good workers in a midcard match and they just went out and had a good match. Once again it shows that if you keep it simple and work the formula it’s incredibly effective. ***1/4. And then Barry O gets thrown out of the ring and runs afoul of Jesse at the table, calling him a hasbeen, and Jesse just UNLOADS on him, telling him to get to stepping or get his ass kicked. I don’t think that went anywhere but that was certainly interesting.

King Tonga v. Ron Shaw

Tonga works a headlock for a few minutes and he’s got a HUGE scar on his shoulder here. Shaw bails to the apron to escape and Tonga drags him back in and hits him with chops and a headbutt, but Shaw necks him on the top rope and dodges a blind charge to take over. Shaw with a chinlock, but Tonga fights out and ties Shaw in the ropes while Gorilla notes that Tonga likely gets his leg strength from “climbing the coconut trees”. Shaw tosses him, but Tonga pulls him down and crotches him on the post before backdropping him out of the corner. Headbutt gets two. Thrust kick finishes at 9:30. *1/2

Pedro Morales v. Rene Goulet

Goulet fights for a takedown after some stalling and tries a headlock, but Pedro reverses to a very loose headscissors. Pedro with his own headlock, but Goulet tosses him to break free and then teases us with a Macho Man dive onto the fallen Pedro, but never delivers. Goulet runs him into the post and the bell accidentally rings, so Goulet teases ANOTHER dive to the floor but still won’t deliver. Back in the ring, Goulet with a clothesline for two to set up the dreaded SCORPION CLAW and Gorilla talks about all the electricity of MSG while Pedro lays there selling. Pedro escapes with an atomic drop, so Goulet finally goes up for his dive and misses a flying splash. So they fight to the floor as Pedro makes the comeback, and back in for a Flair Flip from Rene. Pedro backdrops him for two. Goulet tries a suplex and Morales reverses into a small package after a couple of tries, and that gets the pin at 14:10. This was slow and plodding and felt like a 70s holdover. Pedro still had some bangers left in him, but this wasn’t one of them.

DOUBLE COLOSSAL JOSTLE: Andre the Giant & Hillbilly Jim v. Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy

This is of course even BIGGER than the original Colossal Jostle between Andre and Bundy, based on the infamous attack in Maple Leaf Gardens a couple of weeks before this. To say this has some heat would be the understatement of the year. They immediately JOSTLE and the babyfaces clear the ring while the crowd goes bananas. Back in the ring, Andre knocks some noggins and chops Studd out of the ring again. Back in, the heels try to double-team and Andre kicks their asses again, but can’t slam Studd. So he headbutts Studd and gets the slam, making himself a quick $15K as the crowd goes nuts. Over to the Hillbilly and he also tries for a slam, but Studd grabs the top rope. So Studd finally tags out to Bundy, and he puts Jim down with an elbow but misses a splash and Jim actually goes to work on the leg. Back to Andre and he’s pretty riled up, but the heels take advantage of his temper and trap him in the corner for some double-teaming. Bundy with a facelock and Andre pretty blatantly grabs Bundy’s tights to escape, but are YOU gonna argue with him? Exactly. Back to the corner and they continue laying the beats on Andre, so Andre just flagrantly chokes Bundy with his own shoulder strap and then dodges the Avalanche. Bundy chokes him out again and Studd goes to an armbar, but Andre finally fights him off and brings him to the corner, where Captain Lou gives him a pair of SCISSORS. That seems outside of the rules. Andre actually gets a couple of snips on Studd’s hair, but Studd breaks free and hits Andre with a forearm off the top to put the Giant down again. Maybe Andre shouldn’t have been so concerned with the haircut. I feel like that would be a better gimmick for someone else. Andre again makes his own comeback, hitting Bundy with chops and the big boot, but now Bobby Heenan trips him up and Albano attacks HIM, as it breaks down completely and it’s a double DQ at 14:10. I’m assuming Jim was still mostly injured and that’s why Andre was working 90% of the match himself. This was just insane crowd heat from start to finish, although not much as a match. *1/2

Mean Gene Okerlund joins us, as the British Bulldogs award Vince McMahon and his cronies some kind of giant plaque, which is the “Outstanding Achievement Award” for presenting Wrestlemania. Yes, he literally AWARDED HIMSELF A PLAQUE for Wrestlemania. 10/10, no notes.

Piper’s Pit with special guest Bruno Sammartino. Piper goes nuts on the crowd first, riffing on bath-houses and having to call it “New York New York” because residents can’t remember things the first time. So he invites a pair of New Yorkers into the ring, including a young Tim White before he was a regular referee. White reinforces that he loves New York, so Piper gets all disgusted and kicks him out of the ring. Then we get to Bruno, as Piper notes that Bruno should play for the Yankees, because they can’t hit anything either. Timeless, especially considering how the Yankees managed to cough up the AL East lead to the Blue Jays this year. The ring announcer says that Bruno won’t come out unless Piper introduces him as the Living Legend. Piper: “Ladies and gentlemen…no never mind it’s New York, there’s no ladies here. PEOPLE OF NEW YORK…” and that finally brings out Bruno. He’s not exactly thrilled about doing this stupid show and tells Orton to get lost unless Piper wants him to go find his own friend to back him up. So Piper freaks out and lets Orton go after sharing a loving hug, clarifying that he has nothing to fear from Bruno. Piper: “We sit here face to face, and I realize you’re so much uglier than I am.” Piper goes on a run about how Bruno is old and washed up, but Bruno just keeps his cool and stands up to Piper every step of the way. “By the way, in Italy we don’t wear skirts”. Just fantastic body language as Bruno keeps moving forward assertively and Piper keeps backing off while defensively making jokes about Bruno’s hair and his son. And Bruno’s pretty sure if Piper was around 15 years ago, he’d have squashed him like a grape and he can still do it now. So Piper calls him “a stupid wop” and lays him out with a chair and the Garden is about to EXPLODE as Piper beats him down. But Bruno makes the comeback and takes a swing with the chair, and Orton pulls Piper out and rescues him back to the dressing room. What a segment this was! And of course it set up a giant run of matches around the Northeast between these two.

$50,000 Bounty match: Paul Orndorff v. The Spoiler

But first, Finkel introduces the Crush Gals, who did an unlikely swing through the US around this time. Jesse: “Those were women, Gorilla?” Granted they did have some pretty short haircuts. So I guess Bobby Heenan now has money out for Mr. Wonderful, and the Spoiler is hoping to play…you know…spoiler. Jesse notes that for $50,000 maybe he’s gonna be willing to get off the table and put a hurting on Orndorff himself. Gorilla: “That wouldn’t be a victory, though.” Jesse: “It ain’t about a victory, it’s about putting Orndorff on the shelf. I’m sure Bobby would be happy to pay up for that!” Sadly he didn’t take a crack at it after all. Spoiler with some boots on the ropes and he goes up with a forearm off the middle rope, but Orndorff slugs back and goes to work on the arm. Gorilla notes that Spoiler got his name from spoiling the careers of a lot of guys. Also revealing key plot points from movies on social media before they release. No wonder he has to wear a mask. Spoiler chokes him out while Jesse relates how Bobby was all frustrated by inflation, because he couldn’t get anyone to accept the bounty for $25,000 and had to up the money. #ThanksObama. Spoiler chokes away in the corner and that sets up the Iron Claw. Spoiler grinds on that as they note that Wonderful is pretty subdued here with Spoiler taking the entire match thus far. “Maybe we should rename him Mr. Pathetic” notes Jesse. Ouch. So this claw goes on for like 5 minutes, but Spoiler finally tries a charge and runs into the post, allowing Wonderful to make the comeback. He goes for the mask (SPOILER: It’s just Don Jardine) but Spoiler fights him off, so Orndorff slugs him into the corner and goes up with a middle rope elbow, but Spoiler chokes him out, so Orndorff hits him with a clothesline and pins him at 12:39. What is this, the Survivor Series? Boring match. *

The British Bulldogs v. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff

The Bulldogs do NOT want to hear any singing tonight and chase the heels out of the ring while Jesse and Gorilla argue about the difference between baritone and tenor. OK, far be it from me to criticize, but this would have been the PERFECT time for Gorila to pull out the classic dad joke about how he would prefer Volkoff to sing tenor – TEN OR TWENTY MILES AWAY. Sadly he doesn’t. Alternatively he could have lobbied for Volkoff to sing solo – SO LOW WE CAN’T HEAR HIM. Thanks, I’m on vacation and here all week pulling these out of the archives. Volkoff misses a charge and Davey works the arm and brings in Dynamite to carry on with that. Over to Sheik and Dynamite gets a sunset flip as time is running out on the show and this is clearly going nowhere on the way to a curfew draw. Volkoff with a one-armed lifting choke on Dynamite and he puts the boots to Kid and follows with a piledriver for two. Sheik accidentally hits Volkoff with a boot and that allows Davey to get a hot tag and run wild with a powerslam on Sheik for two. Sheik cuts him off with a back suplex and that sets up the camel clutch, but Kid makes the save and it’s BREAKING LOOSE I TULSA. Volkoff tries a slam on Davey, but Dynamite dropkicks them over and puts Davey on top for the pin at 6:44 as they rush to the finish with time running out. This was considered something of an upset at the time. An OK match that never really had any chance to breathe or build. **

NEXT MONTH: Holy cow, we actually DO get the Barry O v. Jesse Ventura match! Plus Wendi Richter defends her Women’s title against someone named “The Spider”. That should be a routine title defense for her, I’m sure.

A pretty good show, although the Piper’s Pit is LEGENDARY and worth checking out by itself. It was also featured on Bruno’s Coliseum Video release.