The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 02.19.90
By Scott Keith on 10 September 2025
The SmarK Rant for WWF in MSG – 02.19.90
Originally written 09.09.25
1990 Week returns! By popular demand! From me mostly.
I’m not holding out a lot of hope for any secret Powers of Pain bangers on this one, but I’ve been wrong before. No, it’s true, you don’t need to protect my ego by loudly insisting that I’m perfect.
Taped from Madison Square Garden, drawing 13800.
Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim & Bobby Heenan. Tensions arise already.
Tito Santana v. Playboy Buddy Rose
Holy cow, it’s a rematch of Wrestlemania 1’s opener five years later! Well five years and a lot of poundage for Buddy. Buddy makes sure to show off his physique, and at least you know he wasn’t on steroids in 1990. So Buddy drops down and does some one-handed pushups to prove his physical prowess. So Tito ruffles the hair off the lockup and takes him down with an armdrag, controlling the arm on the mat. Meanwhile Gorilla talks about Demolition challenging for the tag team titles at Wrestlemania 6 and potentially being the first team to “three-peat” as tag team champions, which is blatantly untrue. Both Fuji & Tanaka and then the Wild Samoans held the belts 3 times, and I believe you can also make a case for the Moondogs depending on how you count it. Buddy runs Tito to the floor and puts the boots to him from the apron while Bobby advocates for Rose trying a dive to the floor. “He’d probably miss and end up all the way in the train station!” notes Gorilla. Back in the ring, Rose catapults Tito into the ropes and holds him in a backbreaker over his knees, but Tito powers up and slugs out of that while Gorilla completely buries the submission aspect and treats it like a complete joke. Rose works the back anyway and blocks a dropkick, then takes Tito down for another catapult. And again Gorilla buries the move, so even BOBBY HEENAN has to step in and point out that his back is hurt and he can’t just escape it. Thank you! Rose with an abdominal stretch and TAKE A DRINK because Gorilla bitches about how he’s not hooking the leg properly. Tito escapes and fights back, as Buddy bumps into the ropes and gets tied up. So Tito puts the boots to him and Buddy bumps to the floor. Back in, they fight for a backslide and Tito wins that battle and gets two. But Buddy puts him dow again and goes AIRBORNE, but Tito slams him down like the Hindenburg and makes the comeback. Tito slugs away in the corner and whips Buddy into the corner a few times as he takes some nice bumps there, and then tops it off with a Flair Flip and gets hung in the Tree of Woe. So Tito gives him an ear-ringer and punches him RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET, but Buddy fights off the figure-four. “I keep thinking he’s reaching in his tights for something but I guess he’s just trying to pull them up.” LOL. Santana slugs away on him and gets an impressive backdrop on a 400 pound dude, and finishes with the flying forearm at 17:00. Damn, this was a really good match and Buddy Rose could WORK even at his Adrian Adonis-like size. ***1/2. OK so there’s my unexpected banger.
Rugged Ronnie Garvin v. Earthquake
Speaking of agile fat guys, this should be a fun match. Quake throws Garvin down, so Ronnie comes out throwing chops and beats on him in the corner. Garvin tries a takedown and can’t get his arms around him, so he throws more chops and goes for the leg instead. Quake fights that off easily and puts the boots to him, but Garvin fights back again and then rakes the eyes and goes up with a double axehandle before pounding Quake down with rights over and over. Ronnie tries the HAMMER JAMMER but Quake is too much man and shoves him off before going back to the clubbing forearms again. Garvin goes to work RIGHT IN THE BREADBASKET but Quake slugs him down again before missing a charge. Garvin trips him up and goes up with a flying bodypress, but Quake catches him, powerslams him, and puts him away at 7:25. Pretty fun squash for Quake complete with another pair of butt splashes for good measure. This was basically the same match as their one on the WM6 special and it was pretty decent. **1/2
Rick Martel v. The Red Rooster
Martel doesn’t like the smell of New York City and sprays some Arrogance to act as a barrier. That’s fair. I’ve heard it’s smelly there. Martel runs away but catches the Rooster on the way into the ring, as I guess Rooster was trying to cross the road and got caught. Rooster comes back with armdrags, going to work on the arm. I don’t think he has a plan here, he’s just kind of winging it. He goes for the hammerlock, but Martel makes the ropes, so Rooster takes him down and works the arm again. Martel fights up and Rooster counters him with a backslide for two. Martel misses a blind charge and hits his knee, so Rooster goes after the leg next and cradles him for two before going to a leglock, trying to pull off a drumstick for himself. Rooster with a headlock and Martel tries a leapfrog on the escape, but he lands on his knee and blows it out, allowing Rooster to take him down for a spinning toehold. Martel shoves him off and Rooster goes flying out of the ring and hurts his back. Martel hits him RIGHT IN THE GIZZARD and works the back on the floor, as Rooster looks to be in egg-crutiating pain. Suplex back in the ring gets two and Martel drops elbows on the back, tenderizing him a little bit before going to an abdominal stretch. Rooster tries to escape but cocks it up and that allows Martel a chance to grab the ropes and block him. But then the ref sees him, so Rooster tries a comeback, but misses a blind charge and lays an egg. Martel with the rollup for two in the ropes, but Rooster cradles him for cock a doodle two. Martel goes to the back again and reverses a slam for two, but Rooster with a sunrise flip for two. Small package gets two. Martel goes to a rear chinlock and works the back again, but Rooster catches him in a spinebuster and makes the comebawk-bawk-bawk. Rooster with a backbreaker for two. Sling blade gets two. Martel takes him down, however, and finishes with the Boston Crab at 21:20 in a HELL of a match. I almost feel bad for mocking Taylor constantly through the entire thing, but not that bad, I’m mean I’m only human. ****
Mr. Perfect & The Genius v. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake
This was advertised at the last MSG show as the orange gaslighting son of a bitch defending his title in a handicap match, but obviously he was a bigger chicken than Terry Taylor and had to go crying to Beefcake for help. Also you’ll note that this is no longer for the title because he’s also too much of a coward to even defend his belt after barely escaping by the skin of his teeth at the January show thanks to cheating. Speaking of which, the so-called good guys chase Perfect to the floor and Beefcake gets a cheapshot from behind and then runs Perfect into Hulk in the corner. Hulk makes a very effective ringpost, I’ll give him that much. Hulk with a clothesline on Perfect and Beefcake hits him with the high knee for two. Hulk drops elbows on him and then hits the Genius for zero reason, trying to show that brawn beats brains, I guess. Perfect bumps to the floor and hits Hogan with the school, however, proving that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword, especially when the paper is made of steel and you hit someone in the face with it. Good lesson for all you kids out there. Back in the ring, Team Perfect goes to work and Genius is MINCING and PRANCING and Hogan is completely befuddled with no way to counter these flowing moves and grace. Perfect beats on Hulk with chops and follows with an AXE ATTACK to put him down. Genius tries a moonsault and makes a slight miscalculation on the way down, allowing Brutus to get the hot tag. He hits Perfect with a kneelift and sends him bouncing around the ring off that, and that sets up the sleeper. But then Hogan stupidly distracts the referee like a complete MORON and that allows Genius to break it up with the scroll again. HAHAHA WHAT A JERK. Team Perfect go to work on Beefcake while the big orange dipshit gets to watch his best friend take a beating thanks to his incompetence. GIVE HIM ONE FOR ME, GENIUS! Genius rakes the eyes and gets two, and then Perfect lays in the crossfaces on Beefcake, dedicating each one to Hulk’s ugly face in the corner, and Hulk gets sucked into the ring and distracts the ref again as a result. HE’S SO STUPID! How can anyone even like this guy? Perfect with a kneelift on Brutus and he slugs away, just laying them in and showing his perfect pugilism powers. Brutus finally gets a cheapshot and makes the hot tag to Hogan, but again the ref doesn’t see it and Hogan looks like the stupid jerk that he is! HAHAHA HE’S SUCH AN IDIOT! YOU SUCK, HOGAN! So Brutus takes another beating in the corner, really giving him a good lesson while Hogan watches like a loser. And now you’re gonna SEE A PERFECTPLEX, but Hogan breaks it up because he doesn’t even trust his friend to kick out and has to cheat to save him. So Hogan finally gets the real tag after a few tries at it and beats them both up before hitting Genius with the big boot and legdrop to finish at 15:25. Clearly he had something loaded into his boot there and Genius didn’t have time to do the necessary calculations to counter it. So then Beefcake puts Genius out with the sleeper as your sore winners cut his hair like real heroes and then pose to celebrate double-teaming an intellectual giant and threatening him with scissors. Makes me sick. Anyway the match was pretty good. No thanks to Hogan, that piece of crap. ***1/2
Bad News Brown v. Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell
Brunzell chases Bad News to the floor, and back in for an atomic drop and clothesline to send Brown retreating to the floor again. Back in, Bad News chokes him out to take over. Brunzell with a monkey flip out of the corner for two and he goes to a facelock. Brunzell works the leg as this one is dying a death, so Brown tosses him and chokes him out with a cable like he’s a common Harlem sewer rat. I’ve heard that’s how you tame them. Although most sewer rats don’t have ugly tie-dyed trunks. Back in the ring, Brunzell tries a bodypress and misses, but Brown just dumps him to the floor again and then tears off a turnbuckle. But then Brunzell rams him into the exposed steel and makes a comeback with the dropkick for two. Next he tries the sleeper and then runs Brown into the corner for two, but he misses a blind charge and the GHETTO BLASTER finishes at 14:31. OK they pulled it together and had a good match in the end, I’ll give them that. ***
Dusty Rhodes v. Akeem
So this is a fairly famous meme match that started going around Twitter for a long time as a “If wrestling is fake explain this…” gag. To me it’s more interesting as being the only notable meeting between the American Dream and the guy created as a rib to mock him. Akeem beats on him in the corner, but Dusty runs him into the corner and hits him with elbows, prompting Akeem to dance as he sells before hitting the mat. So that would be the source of the famous GIF that everyone’s mom posted. So Akeem wants a test of fisticuffsmanship, but Dusty elbows him into the ropes and ties him up. But Akeem drops an elbow of his own and goes to a nerve pinch to take over before elbowing Dusty to the floor. They fight out there and back in for another nerve pinch, as surely Dusty’s shoulders are nice and loose now after all that massaging, allowing him to make a comeback and slug away in the corner. They fight to the floor and Akeem collides with Slick in slow motion, allowing Dusty to make it back in and win by countout at 9:05. Well this was definitely not a hidden gem banger like some other matches on this show. DUD
Next month: Ultimate Warrior v. Mr. Perfect! Rick Martel v. Rowdy Roddy Piper! OK that sounds like a show I’m gonna want to check out.
The Rockers & Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Mr. Fuji & The Powers of Pain
OK even if the Rockers can’t pull out another miracle carry job, this show has been a home run thus far anyway. According to Gorilla, the Rockers will have to rely on their speed and cunnilingus?!? That’s a pretty specific skillset for a wrestling match. Oh wait that was “cunningness”, never mind. Rockers hits the Powers with a double sunset flip, but both Powers do the POWERFUL POSE to block it, so Duggan comes in and clotheslines them both down while they’re spreading their arms. Fuji wisely chooses not to help out there. So we get Duggan facing off with the Barbarian and they slug it out, resulting in the Barbarian getting rattled around in the corner like some kind of small metallic ball. Like a BALL BEARING? Let’s go with it. Over to Warlord and Marty works a headlock on him, and then Duggan launches Shawn onto him with a Fastball Special! But as usual Shawn walks into a clothesline and goes flying to the floor, where Warlord runs him into the ringpost to take over. Back in, Warlord backdrops Shawn INTO THE LIGHTS for two, as that was one of the few times where Gorilla’s ridiculous hyperbole might have been true. He went up for Warlord like that balloon kid on Netflix! Over to Barbarian and gets a slam to set up Mr. Fuji, who drops the headbutt on Shawn’s crotchal region and goes to the nerve pinch. Shawn fights out of that and tries the big splash, but hits the knees. The Powers double-team him in their corner and Barbarian puts him down with the KICK OF FEAR for two. To be fair, Shawn doesn’t fear much, except maybe getting cornered by 2 or 14 Marines outside a bar in Syracuse. That and losing titles in the ring. Barbarian goes up and misses a dive, and it’s hot tag Hacksaw as he hits the three point stance on Barbie for two. But then the heels immediately go to work on him again in the corner and Barbarian applies the nerve hold. They work on the back and Warlord hits a clumsy clubbing clothesline for two before going to a bearhug. Rockers break it up with a pair of double axehandles, but Fuji loads up the racist salt, so Duggan hits him with the 2×4 and puts Marty on top for the pin at 16:35 to get revenge for last month. OK so the Powers going over in January despite breaking up right away makes sense now and I’m OK with that result in retrospect. Definitely not a classic but very watchable. **
And we finish with a pretaped promo from Hot Rod and then Sean Mooney chats with Martel, and we get comments from Mr. Perfect to wrap it up.
THIS was a great MSG show and scratched a very particular itch for me, and it’s well worth checking out. Where? Where else! Richard Land’s Fish & Chips!
Big thumbs up for this one.