The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 02.15.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Championship Wrestling – 02.15.86

Originally written 08.19.25

THE RECOGNIZED SYMBOL OF EXCELLENCE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY, on 01.28.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino

Superfly Afi v. The Gladiator

This is attempt #2 to duplicate the success of Jimmy Snuka, as the Tonga Kid was the first Snuka protégé in 1985 and fizzled in that role, so they found poor Siva Afi and tried to make him into a Superfly. The crowd (or at least the smarter portion of it) immediately turns on the horrible ripoff gimmick, booing Afi and everything he does while he trades arm takedowns. So apparently, according to thehistoryofwwe.com, they taped a squash with Afi beating Mr. X early in the evening, and it was so bad that they had to retape it here. And this is pretty brutal, so I can’t imagine how bad the first attempt would have been. Afi takes him down with a deathlock and the loudmouthed portion of the crowd is just ruthless with him, catcalling him and booing the match. So Gladiator gets a comeback and the crowd CHEERS him for that, but Afi chops him down and the crowd boos it again. And then Afi slams him and goes up to finish with the Temu Splash at 3:46. Like, this was BRUTAL. They trotted poor Afi out there in his rented Superfly gear and teased-up hair and the crowd was not buying into for one second.

UPDATE! WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES! The Bulldogs might be on the verge of winning the tag team title, Alfred thinks, based on the evidence of them beating the Dream Team in a non-title match a couple of weeks ago. Hard hitting journalism there.

King Tonga & Ricky Steamboat v. Rusty Brooks & Steve Lombardi

OK so interestingly, the babyfaces are using Zarathustra as their entrance music here. That’s cheeky. Steamboat goes back and forth to annoy Lombardi and hits him with a bodypress and armdrag, and it’s over to Tonga. He puts Steve down with a gut punch and Dragon comes in with a double chop, and then Tonga levels him with the thrust kick and finishes with the diving headbutt at 2:30. Damn, they were a fun tag team and could have gone places.

The Hart Foundation v. Leaping Lanny Poffo & Tony Stetson

Poffo’s poem notes that Jimmy Hart has “lipstick on his collar and Adonis on his breath”, which is pretty cheeky as well. It’s a cheeky week. So the Harts kick his ass and then bring in Stetson and hit a Demolition elbow on him, with Stetson taking a crazy bump off that as the Harts are just destroying these two. Bret pounds Stetson with some good forearm shots and Neidhart puts the boots to Stetson, which is extra hilarious because it was POFFO who did the poem and it’s his poor geek partner getting mauled. Hart Attack finishes at 2:00. Afterwards they actually do go after Poffo and teach him a lesson about backing up his poems. Replay of the finisher looked vicious, as Stetson really went out and got killed there.

The Killer Bees v. Joe Mirto & Iron Mike Sharpe

Blair takes Sharpe down with a flying headscissors and then controls Mirto with armdrags before chasing him to the floor. The Bees go work on Sharpe’s arm and the crowd MOCKS his pained groans. THE MAN HAS A FOREARM PROTECTOR! You New York philistines think that he’s faking the injury? Disgusting. Back to Mirto and he falls victim to a double elbow, and Brunzell finishes with the dropkick at 3:00, although he didn’t have enough time to get past Mirto’s chest and it looked pretty lame. Replay shows that Mirto jumped in the air over top of Blair, and Brunzell wasn’t able to get the height he needed as a result.

Piper’s Pit with special guest Jose Luis Rivera. Rivera is decked out in boxing gear, because he’s apparently going to challenge BOXING BOB tonight in a boxing challenge. Piper mocks Rivera’s accent and wonders if Puerto Rico is part of America. Rivera clarifies that it is. So Piper wishes him luck, and Rivera tells him ladies first. Oh he’s gonna regret that one.

BOXING CHALLENGE: Boxing Bob Orton v. Jose Luis Rivera

Orton quickly peppers him with jabs on the ropes, but Rivera fights back, so Bob gives him some rabbit punches on the ropes while Vince is just losing his mind. LEFTS AND RIGHTS FROM ORTON! Rivera fights back again, but Orton levels him with a right and Rivera is KTFO at 1:34. Impressive! He really earned his nickname there, and they even change the chyron after the match to BOXING BOB ORTON out of respect.

Terry Funk v. Junkyard Dog

Terry attacks him on the way into the ring and they brawl onto the floor right away, as Vince is AGHAST at this rulebreaking display from Terrible Terry. Back in the ring, JYD with the BAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP and headbutts to send Funk back to the floor. Back in, Dog runs him into the turnbuckles for the 10 count and of course Funk takes a wacky bump off that, so Dog does it in two more corners, until Jimmy distracts him and allows Terry to regroup. Dog hits him with a clothesline anyway for two, but Jimmy runs in with the branding iron and Dog takes him out while Terry is tied in the ropes. But this brings out the debuting DORY FUNK JR at 3:15 for the DQ and the Funks double on the Dog, prompting an excited Jimmy Hart to tear off his shirt and hit the Dog with a double stomp while the Funks hold him down. Finally some geeks make the save and chase off the heels. I didn’t actually realize they debuted Dory/Hoss with a big angle like that, I thought they just worked him in gradually. Nothing to the match but of course Funk bumped all over to make it work and the crowd was MOLTEN from start to finish.

Next week: Tito Santana defends the Intercontinental title against Randy Savage in Boston!

Well this was certainly a notable show, with Superfly Afi having one of the all time flop debuts and Dory Funk joining his brother. Be nice if they started building to Wrestlemania 2 at some point.