The SmarK Rant for WWE Survivor Series 2024 – 11.30.24

The SmarK Rant for WWE Survivor Series 2024 – 11.30.24

Oddly the Survivor Series Showdown repost yesterday did surprisingly well.

By the way, here’s a question about the Netflix change that no one’s asked yet: Are they gonna be converting the production over to Dolby Vision & Dolby Atmos when it moves over? Because if so the shows are gonna look AWESOME.

Live from Vancouver, BC, a place I’ve been once or twice.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Corey Graves.

War Games: Bianca Belair, Naomi, Iyo Sky, Bayley & Rhea Ripley v. Liv Morgan, Nia Jax, Candice LeRae, Tiffany Stratton & Raquel Rodriguez

Interesting that they’re going all stats-heavy now, tracking stuff like War Games appearances. Nia starts out with Bayley but can’t get a hold of her, and Bayley necks her between the rings as they unfortunately call spots while standing right by the camera. Also Michael Cole reminds us that Rock Bottom was the last PPV show in Vancouver. Actually if we’re counting WCW then New Blood Rising was the last one but I can see why they’d want to dissociate themselves from that one. So Nia takes over and bowls Bayley over as this opening has been pretty brutal. Who decided to put Nia Jax in for the whole match?

Naomi is next to make the save and we get the same thing as always where she finds weapons stashed under the ring and brings some with her. I am SO sick of that particular trope, particularly in the women’s War Games matches. Naomi uses a kendo stick on Nia and the babyfaces double-team her while the crowd wishes Naomi a happy birthday, although we’re in Canada so it’s technically celebrated a month earlier. Nia grabs a toilet seat, but Bayley beats Nia down with the kendo stick and rubs her ass in Nia’s face in a dumb spot. Really selling the drama and hatred here.

Candice LeRae is the next one in and she brings a chair assortment with her, allowing Nia to take over again. They set up the chairs in the second ring and they gently place Bayley on two of them, before Candice misses a moonsault by a foot and Bayley sells it anyway. This is not good.

Bianca Belair is next and brings a fire extinguisher and a table so hopefully the crowd will be happy now. Candice tries a poison rana on Bianca and gets overpowered. So the babyfaces work on Nia in the corner and it’s Tiffy Time to even it up again. She brings the trash can and runs wild, the first person to actually show some life in the entire match so far, as she catapults Bayley into a Nia clothesline. They hit Bianca with a double team blockbuster. I’m assuming the crowd is all just waiting for Liv and Rhea to get in there before they start caring about any of this.

Iyo Sky is next and runs around the ring until she finds her own personalized trash can and heads in via the top of the cage. Candice tries to suplex her down, but Iyo gets a sunset flip, which misses somehow, and then she just does a missile dropkick instead. So the garbage can is left unattended at the top of the cage. Iyo trades gymnastics with Tiffy but Nia cuts her off and lays her out.

Raquel Rodriguez is next and spends a while checking under the ring, but doesn’t find anything that she wants and just heads into the ring instead. Nia and Raquel toss people into the cage before hitting a SuperCollider on them to lay everyone out. And then Rhea Ripley is the last one in for the babyfaces, and she really wants another table in there but Raquel tries to stop her. Why? There’s literally a table in the ring already that hasn’t even been touched. Is the second table a dealbreaker? Naomi hits a She Calls It The Rear View off the top to take out two people and everyone is out. Everyone goes after Nia Jax with the toilet seats and whatnot, but Candice makes the save and then Rhea cleans house with headbutts.

That leaves Liv Morgan as the last one in, and she brings a baseball bat with her. So all the heels attack Rhea and try to headcuff her in the corner, but Iyo makes the save and the babyface team comes back, but of course Nia Jax cuts them off and hits a samoa drop on Bayley for two. Iyo and Tiffy both climb to the top of the cage and hit stereo moonsaults onto piles of people. But then it turns out that Tiffy has smuggled the briefcase into the ring, and she debates cashing it in on one of the heel champions before Iyo breaks it up with the fire extinguisher. Well that was a cool twist that immediately went nowhere. This ends with Raquel getting handcuffed to the corner, but Nia Jax the superwoman again destroys everyone and lays them out. She puts Bianca on a table and takes forever setting up her buttdrop, so Naomi powerbombs her off for two. Liv hits Oblivion on Bayley onto a chair, but Rhea saves. So Liv hits a codebreaker on Rhea with the chair and goes up, but Rhea brings her down with Riptide through the table and pins her at 38:19 to win. Couple of good spots but this was way too long for what it was, and there wasn’t even a particularly clear issue between the teams outside of the Rhea-Liv feud that’s been going for months now. Also people were just vanishing for minutes at a time, most notably the finish where the entire ring was empty with no one even trying to stop Rhea from doing the powerbomb, despite Nia Jax having the magic ability to save every pinfall for the entire previous 35 minutes of the match. **1/4. So yeah I mostly hated this and I never want to watch another Nia Jax match again. In case I wasn’t clear on that.

US title: LA Knight v. Shinsuke Nakamura

Dark Nakamura and his Ninja Gaiden look is pretty cool. Apparently Shinsuke has started doing poison mist like many Japanese babyfaces who lose their way, which is disappointing. Which makes me wonder if there’s some dealer selling this stuff to wayward Japanese wrestlers? Or is it like Spider-Man where you need to study chemistry and mix up green mist in your bedroom laboratory? They fight to the floor and Knight runs him into the apron a bunch of times, and back in for a suplex onto the top rope and a guillotine. Nakamura necks him on the top rope to take over, but Knight gets a DDT for two. Nakamura misses a kick and Knight hits a burning hammer for two, although it’s more of a flapjack than anything. Probably wise not to be spiking people on their heads. Knight goes up and Nak crotches him to bring him down and follows with the inverted exploder for two. Knight with a back suplex and he goes up with a flying elbow, so Nakamura retreats to the apron between the rings and catches him with an inverted DDT. Kinshasa finishes clean at 9:49 and Nakamura gets a surprising US title win. Seemed like mostly the same Nakamura here as we’ve seen for the past decade. Match was fine, nothing special. ***

Intercontinental title: Bron Breakker v. Sheamus v. Ludwig Kaiser

Bron and Sheamus lay out Kaiser with a chairshot and get right to beating on each other, but Kaiser dropkicks Bron in the corner to break it up. Kaiser wedges a chair in the corner, but Sheamus takes him to the apron and Bron sends them to the floor. Kaiser runs Sheamus into the stairs, but Bron zooms in from off-camera and hits Kaiser with a shoulderblock before turning his attention to Sheamus and beating him down too. Back in the ring, Bron hits Sheamus with a knee to the gut for two, and then stops to do some pushups. Sheamus with a powerslam for two, but Kaiser saves and brawls with Sheamus to the floor again. But then Breakker comes flying in again with a clothesline onto both of them before tossing Sheamus into the crowd to get rid of him. Kaiser sends Bron into the stairs, but Sheamus does the Keith Lee meme and reappears to deliver forearms to both guys. Kaiser runs away and grabs Sheamus’s stick, which proves to be a mistake, and Bron slugs it out with Sheamus back in the ring. Sheamus puts him down with the Celtic Cross and that gets two. But then he goes up and Breakker brings him down with the rana, before charging and running into Chekhov’s chair. Sheamus with the Brogue for two, but Kaiser makes the save by taking out the ref. And then he beats Sheamus down with his own stick, drawing some good heat, but Sheamus hits him with a knee strike for two. Everyone is down as the Sheamus-Bron brawl really woke up the crowd, but Kaiser is up first with the rolling senton on Sheamus and a DDT. But then Breakker hits a spear on Sheamus and pins him to retain at 14:30 in kind of a down ending to a very fun hard-hitting match. Felt like it ended JUST as it was hitting the next gear. ***3/4

World Heavyweight title: Gunther v. Damian Priest

They trade armdrags to start and Gunther retreats to the floor to escape some kicks. Back in the ring, Priest hits him with a shoulderblock and Gunther retreats again. Back in, Gunther still can’t get anything going, as he charges and Priest flapjacks him, but hurts his own shoulder on the way down. So Gunther takes him to the floor and starts beating on the shoulder out there, which is actually more effective because this is the first match of the show where the heel started working a body part, as opposed to Full Gear where it was almost EVERY match on the show. Say what you will about other stuff but the agenting is top notch. Gunther takes him down and drops a knee on the shoulder before chopping him down again and tying him up in a nasty double armbar. Priest fights back with an enzuigiri for a double down, but Gunther goes right back to the shoulder and hits him with a flatliner for two. They trade powerbomb attempts and Gunther takes out the shoulder again, so Priest falls to the mat and hooks him in a triangle. Priest with a superkick, but Gunther escapes the Razor’s Edge and he goes to a sleeper before switching to the powerbomb for two. Gunther goes up and Priest brings him down with a rana from the top and follows with the Razor’s Edge for two. He tries the chokeslam, but Gunther takes him down into a kimura with a headscissors, and Priest has nowhere to go but still makes the ropes. So Gunther puts him down with a short clothesline, but Priest hits his own and follows with a lariat for two. They fight to the top and something happens with a superplex attempt, resulting in Gunther landing in the ring and Priest landing on the floor. But this allows Finn Balor to run in and double stomp Priest. Back in the ring, Gunther with the choke and Priest is out this time at 19:11. I’m assuming this sets up a three-way at the next show. Another good match with a flat finish, but another one where it never really seemed to hit the next gear. ***1/2

War Games: Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso & CM Punk v. Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga, Tonga Loa, Jacob Fatu & Bronson Reed

We start with Jey Uso and Tama Tonga, and they stall for a few minutes before slugging it out, and Tonga gets a splash and goes for a meaningless cover. Bronson Reed is the next one in, bringing chairs with him, and he beats Jey down with those. The heels double-team him and Reed hits him with a senton before Tonga chokes him out in the corner. Jimothy Uso is next in and the Usos team up to make the comeback, with Jimmy hitting the corkscrew out of the corner on both heels. They team up with splashes in the corners and slug away in stereo.

Jacob Fatu is next and he tosses Jimmy into the cage and hits Jey with a spinning elbow, and the Evil Bloodline lays out the Usos to take over. So Sami Zayn is next in for the babyfaces, and he makes a comeback on Reed and makes up with Jimmy. Tonga Loa is next for Bloodline 2.0 and he brings a table with him, as this has been blessedly free of that trope thus far. The heels all run wild and gain the advantage with nothing particularly noteworthy. CM Punk pushes past Roman and he’s the next one in as we get lots of meaningful stares between them, and Punk brings in a toolbox and hits people with that. “One of the shrewdest people in the business” notes Cole as Punk shrewdly bludgeons people with a toolbox. Jacob Fatu pops up and no-sells Punk’s offense, however, before putting him down with a spinebuster.

Solo Sikoa is the last guy for the bad guys, and he also exchanges meaningful stares with Roman Reigns and slams the door on Sami’s head before giving the other babyfaces some of that action in turn. The mean guy Samoans stack up the babyfaces in a pile and take turns doing bad things to them. And Solo locks the cage to keep Roman out. The match is already perfect for Reigns because it’s 30 minutes long before he even makes it to the ring. So if Reigns is OTC does that mean whoever beats him is Schedule 1? Anyway he climbs over the top and makes it into the ring, where everyone piles up for him to deliver a flying bodypress. So Roman helps everyone up, notably giving Punk the cold shoulder until Paul Heyman makes an appearance to broker a peace deal between them.

So we get the West Side Story showdown and everyone slugs it out in the middle and the babyfaces regroup but no one’s gone through a table yet so the match can’t end. I know this isn’t exactly a hot take, but they really need to split off the women’s match into something else if they’re just gonna do basically the identical match with the identical formula and story beats twice on the same show. The heels manage to work Punk over because the babyfaces can’t get their shit together, but Fatu misses his moonsault and hurts his knee. But then Roman comes back and takes everyone out by himself, before Reed cuts him off and then goes up to the top of the cage and misses the splash, putting himself through a table thanks to CM Punk saving Roman. So Roman finally extends a hand of friendship, but Solo lays out Roman with the spike for two. The Usos hit Fatu with the One D and set up another table. We get the big moves from the babyfaces and Jimmy decides to go to the top of the cage for the Uso splash onto Fatu to put him through the table. So the babyfaces finally trap Solo 5-on-1 and give him some comeuppance, with everyone hitting their finishes and Roman pinning him at 41:58 after a spear. Pretty boring for the buildup phase, I thought, but it picked up at the end and the finish was excellent. And if you love men having meaningful glances at each other as they contemplate the nature of friendship in place of blood and highspots, this was for you! No, that’s me being a cynic again, never mind. ***1/2.

Once again the War Games matches are just WAY too long and take forever to get to the action, but the right team won the main event in the right way. And aside from the opener there was nothing I’d call worse than “very good” on the show so that’s a thumbs up and an easy watch.