The SmarK Rant for WWE Backlash 2026 – 05.09.26

The SmarK Rant for WWE Backlash 2026 – 05.09.26

Live from Tampa, FL

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Wade Barrett

Seth Rollins v. Bron Breakker

Bron attacks and misses a spear, allowing Seth to hit him with a dive on the floor and then back in the ring for a clothesline to the floor on the other side. They brawl out there and Seth wins that as Cole notes that Seth is almost 40 years old. Uh oh, I sense a 50% pay cut coming up for someone! Back in the ring, but Bron clotheslines him out to the floor this time around and tackles him out there. Back in the ring, Bron with a suplex and he goes to a chinlock on the mat. Seth fights out, but Bron hits him with a backbreaker for two. Bron with another chinlock and he follows with a clothesline for two and a pair of german suplexes for two. They collide on the floor for a double down and head back in the ring again, where Seth comes back with his own clothesline for two. Seth teases the stomp and then kicks him in the head instead for two. Another try is countered by Bron, who presses Seth into a gutbuster, but Seth blocks the spear. He tries some kind of headscissors and they botch that, so Bron gets two instead. Bron slugs away in the corner, but Seth hits him with the buckle bomb to escape, and Bron pops out with a lariat for a double down. Back to the floor, where Bron dives off the apron and clotheslines Seth over the table. Back in, Bron goes up and Seth catches him with the superplex, but Bron reverses the falcon arrow for two. He should use the Steiner Screwdriver, it’d get over huge. Back to the top, and Bron takes him down with the rana, but he tries it again and Seth lands on his feet on the second try. Seth with a Pedigree and curb stomp, which both looked really sloppy, but Heyman takes the ref while Logan Paul and Austin Theory attack on the floor. Seth manages to chase them off, but he walks into a spear from Bron and that gets two. Another one is countered into another Pedigree, and Seth goes up for whatever, but Bron spears him on the way down and then spears him one last time for the pin at 21:27. This was good but I wasn’t really feeling invested in it, and they actually went too long and Bron was clearly having trouble keeping it together by the end. ***

Meanwhile, John Cena tells us about Club WWE, which is a way for TKO to get EVEN MORE MONEY out of already cash strapped fans. Way to read the room, guys!

US title: Trick Williams v. Sami Zayn

I have to say, I’m completely out of the loop on the Gingerbread Man deal. Sami hits him with chops in the corner, but Trick fires back with his own and stomps a mudhole in him. OK, I’m just gonna say it, I don’t understand what “Whoop That Trick” means. Are they saying like, “Whoop That, Trick”? As in directing him to whoop the target of his aggression? They head to the floor and Sami threatens the boat-related rapper with the stairs and then goes back to beating on Trick in the ring. Clothesline gets two. Sami gets all distracted by “Sami sucks” chants, allowing Trick to pop up with a neckbreaker for a double down. Trick with a pump kick, but Sami escapes another kick, so Trick hits him with a Rock Bottom for two. Sami powerbombs him for two, but tries the Heluva Kick and misses, so he goes with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two instead. He tries a leapfrog and blows out his knee with a career-ending injury, but of course he was faking and cradles Trick for two. The rapper distracts the ref for some reason and Sami uses a kendo stick for two. Michael notes that he understands what Little Yahtzee was trying to do there, but I do not, so we’ll have to agree to disagree I guess. Sami stomps Trick down in the corner, but this time Yachty hits Sami with the kendo stick behind the ref’s back, which is a pretty heelish move, and that gets two for Trick. Back on the floor, Sami takes care of Yacht with a Heluva kick onto the railing, which is well earned, and back in the ring for one on Trick, but it misses and Trick finishes with the Trick Shot at 12:48 to retain. This was technically good but boring and kind of all over the place with the messed up heel/face alignment. Like I have no clue how Trick was supposed to be the babyface here. **1/2

Kit Wilson & The Miz v. Danhausen & Mini Danhausen

The video package is pretty funny, as produced by Danhausen, although the mystery tag partner being a mini is pretty lame. I feel like doing a Machines gimmick with “Knight-Hausen” or something would have been better. Kit mocks the mini to start but gets taken down with a headscissors, and then Miz also takes one. The heels bail to the floor and MiniHausen dives onto them, but Miz sends Danhausen into the post and the heels go to work on Mini. Miz with a press into a powerslam and Kit gets a delayed suplex and goes to a chinlock. Kit hangs Mini in the Tree of Woe, but misses a charge and it’s hot tag Danhausen. He runs wild and runs out of steam quickly, so Mini tags back in and hits Kit with a rana that causes him to take a ridiculous bump to the floor. So he runs away from the Mini Danhausen and suckers him into the cloning box from whence he came. And then more wacky hijinx ensue as we get a bunch of minis all attacking Wilson, but Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for two because Wilson uses a mirror to block a curse or something. So it’s back to Danhausen and he cleans house as this has just gone completely off a cliff. Miz tries a fire extinguisher and ends up using it on himself. Back in the ring, Danhausen finishes Miz with a pump kick at 11:41. THIS match gets over 10 minutes on a PPV? A little Danhausen goes a long way, but the problem was that there was too many little Danhausens here. There’s a place for cartoonish wrestling stuff but this wasn’t it. *

Iyo Sky v. Asuka

The crowd immediately starts chanting “We want Kairi” while they fight for the lockup and trade takedowns. Iyo handsprings into a dropkick and Asuka bails to the apron and suckers Iyo into a trip to the post to take over. Back in the ring, Asuka works the leg with a half crab and chokes her out in the corner, and then boots her down for two. Asuka pounds her with kicks, but Iyo rolls her into a double stomp for a double down. Iyo comes back with a missile dropkick and double knees in the corner, which gets two. Asuka kicks her down and gets a running knee for two. Iyo with a german suplex for two. Asuka reverses from the bottom and goes for the armbar, but Iyo escapes quickly and they kick each other down for another double down, trying and failing to get the crowd going here. Asuka jumps into the chicken wing, but Iyo escapes with a stunner, so Asuka takes her down again for a cross armbreaker. But Iyo reverses to her own submission and Asuka has to make the ropes. To the top and Asuka reverses a rana into a sunset flip for two. Iyo sends her back to the floor and tries a dive, but Asuka nails her on the way out and they fight to the table. Asuka tries the deadly green mist, but Sky uses Wade’s notebook to block it and comes back with a bodypress off the table. She moonsault Asuka and misses completely and it’s back in the ring for another moonsault that misses, but this time as part of the storyline, and Asuka procures the chicken wing, but Iyo rolls her over for two. The crowd tries a “This is awesome” chant after sitting on their hands for the whole match, and Iyo comes back with the double knees and goes up with the moonsault to finish at 17:44. This was technically good but the crowd was dead and I found it pretty dull to sit through as a result. I feel like that’s a thing I’ve said a lot while watching this one. ***

John Cena joins us for his earth shattering announcement, and he’s on a lot of PPVs for a whole who retired last year. So John puts over the NXT stars who got called up and announces the John Cena Classic, which will be an NXT v. WWE tournament for yet another new title, and apparently people will vote for the winners somehow. THAT was the big announcement? This segment could have been an email. So it’s gonna be some kind of tournament for some kind of title with some kind of voting gimmick. Huzzah. Michael and Wade enjoy a nice can of Mug Root Beer to celebrate.

WWE World title: Roman Reigns v. Jacob Fatu

Jacob is going with the shirtless look here, which surprisingly diminishes his star look for me. Roman puts him down but Jacob pops up and grabs a headlock. He clotheslines Roman to the floor and tries for the TONGAN DEATH GRIP out there, but then changes his mind and lets Roman back in the ring again. They have 15 of Haku’s children under contract and Jacob is the one using the Tongan Death Grip now? I don’t really get that. Roman goes to work on the arm and Jacob fights out with headbutts and then puts him down with a clothesline. Roman with the superman punch, but Fatu just pops up again and beats on Roman with headbutts in the corner before following with a hip attack in the corner. Roman jumps out with another superman punch, and this one gets two. Fatu bails to the apron and Roman hits him with the Drive By, but Jacob powerbombs him through the table. Back in the ring, Jacob sets up for the kill, but Roman spears him for two. Another try, but Jacob catches him with a samoan drop this time, and that gets two. Jacob goes up and misses a senton. They slug it out as the announcers wisely let the moment breathe, but Fatu gets the hip attack off that and locks in the TONGAN DEATH GRIP. In the ring this time! But Roman goes to the eyes and bumps the ref as a result, before hitting a series of superman punches and a spear. That gets two. Fatu goes for the death grip again, but Roman tears off the turnbuckle in desperation fighting the move, and then runs Jacob into the exposed steel and spears him to retain at 18:00. That’s practically a TV squash by Roman’s standards. They had really good chemistry, unsurprisingly, although Fatu as Generic Samoan Heel feels like a step down for him. His street thug backstory was unique and worked better for him. ****

Main event was GREAT, everything else was OK but mostly dull, and it was a really short PPV with not many commercials. I’d call it a thumbs up, but not an enthusiastic recommendation or anything. It was fine, I didn’t regret watching it or anything, and they wrapped it up in good time.