The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 08.01.92

The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 08.01.92

Back to 1992, since I haven’t checked out the Watts era of this show since 2021 according to my archives. When we last left off, Big Van Vader had upset Sting to win the WCW World title, and Steve Austin pledges that Ricky Steamboat will never again receive a shot at the TV title.

Taped from Center Stage in Atlanta GA, on 07.27.92

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Cowboy Bill Watts, and brought to you by LEVI’S BIG JEANS!

Brian Pillman v. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Brian works a headlock while JR and Cowboy hype up a show that is apparently happening in Baltimore right away. Pillman works the arm on the mat with a hammerlock, but Parker beats on him with forearms in the corner until Pillman dropkicks him down again for two. And then he goes up and finishes with a missile dropkick (from the middle rope of course) at 3:40. See that actually would have been legal off the top rope, because Watts’ rule was that you couldn’t do moves off the top rope onto PRONE opponents.

Brian Pillman talks with JR about chasing Brad Armstrong for the Light Heavyweight title.

Scotty Flamingo & The Taylor Made Man v. Marcus Bagwell & Tom Zenk

Yes, it’s the glorious team of Flamingo & Rooster! Well if this isn’t the most 1992 WCW match possible I don’t know what else could be. Hilariously, Terry Taylor is supposedly 3 pounds too heavy for the light heavyweight division while these other 3 roidbags qualify for it. Scotty beats on Bagwell with forearms and takes him down with a hammerlock. Over to Taylor, who was doing a vague Ted Dibiase gimmick complete with shiny tux and the same styled gear. He hits Bagwell with a jawbreaker for two, but then Z-Man takes Scotty down and works the arm on the mat. He runs wild with dropkicks and chases the heels to the floor. Back in the ring, Taylor gets some cheapshots in the corner, but Zenk hits him with a crossbody for two as Taylor is in the ropes. Bagwell comes in and gets a couple of shots, but Zenk gets caught in the heel corner and choked out by Taylor to put the heels in control. Zenk comes back with a backslide on Scotty, but the heels double-team him again and Taylor drops a leg for two. Terry with the chinlock, but Zenk tries a backslide and drops down instead for a weird neckbreaker deal. They could have workshopped that into an interesting finisher, as he was kind of inventing the Killswitch in real time there. Hot tag Bagwell and IT’S BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, allowing Zenk to superkick Taylor and puts Bagwell on top for the pin at 9:42. Just a normal decent tag match. **1/2

Johnny B. Badd joins JR, reminding us that he’s very pretty and a bad man.

The Barbarian v. Chad Bird

Bird should have teamed up with Flamingo & Rooster earlier. I should note that Barbarian is now one half of the US tag team champions with Dick Slater, the team that managed to kill off those belts for good. Barbarian hits Bird with headbutts and a clubbing forearm. So Chad Bird’s boots say “KK”, which means he might be lying about his identity. The KICK OF FEAR finishes him at 1:20, and I’m glad he lost because he’s a LIAR and had it coming.

Meanwhile, on Worldwide Wrestling, Rick Rude and Nikita Koloff battle to a DQ finish and then fight back to the dressing room. Then Rick Rude joins us and tells off Watts for fining him after the brawl. But for every dollar that Watts fines him, he’s going to take it out of Koloff’s blood, so that’s on Bill’s conscience. Rude and Watts weren’t particularly fond of each other in real life, either.

Jimmy Garvin v. Dr. Death Steve Williams

Doc & Gordy were the NWA/WCW tag team champs but never really fit into WCW. Doc misses a charge and Garvin takes him down with a headlock, but Doc presses him into a facebuster to escape. Doc with a double arm suplex, but Garvin cradles for two and Doc puts the boots to him. Doc with short arm clotheslines and a shoulderblock to put Garvin down for two. Williams ties him up in a kind of abdominal stretch while cranking on the armbar, and the crowd chants “Break it”. I thought the Freebirds were supposed to be babyfaces? Williams works on the arm and beats on Garvin, but he charges and misses, allowing Jimmy to come back. And then Garvin goes to a chinlock for his big babyface move. What the fuck is this match even supposed to be? Doc flips out of that and puts him down with a forearm, and then follows with a suplex for two. So Doc misses a THIRD charge in this match and Garvin comes back again, but he comes off the middle rope and Doc powerslams him for two (with the ring announcer calling him the winner prematurely) and then finishes with the Oklahoma Stampede for the pin at 7:43. Terrible match with a completely fucked up finish. -*

Doc & Gordy chat with Jim Ross about a rematch with the Steiner Brothers and maybe even Doc getting shots against new World champion Big Van Vader.

The Steiner Brothers v. Mike Thor & Danny Deese

The MVC hangs out after the interview to watch the match, while Scott ties up Deese in a bow and arrow hold on the mat. Rick slugs him down and just clobbers him with a Steinerline. Over to Thor, and Scott quickly finishes him with the Frankensteiner at 2:00. JR notes that we shouldn’t miss the rematch between the champs and the Steiners! Yeah well Doc & Gordy already beat them clean, TWICE, so I’m not really sure what the draw is supposed to be at this point. Afterwards, Doc & Gordy hit the ring for the brawl, but the Steiners quickly win that and chase them off.

Cactus Jack joins JR and he’s also looking for Big Van Vader, because he softened Sting up at Beach Blast and allowed Vader to win the belt. So he owes Jack a title shot! Well he’d eventually get it and it wouldn’t work out very well for him. Cactus Jack: World Champion has a nice ring to it, according to Jack. Yeah, that oughtta put butts in seats.

Van Hammer v. John Peterson

Kind of fitting that “Heavy Metal” Van Hammer eventually went grunge and joined Raven’s Flock in WCW. Hammer overpowers Peterson while Cactus joins us on commentary and tries to give Peterson tips on beating Van Hammer. Because he’s an expert on Van Hammer now, you see. Hammer with a corner clothesline and Peterson collapses to the mat, so Hammer goes up to the middle rope and drops an elbow. Hammer with the slingshot suplex to finish at 2:25.

Meanwhile, Ron Simmons sits down with Tony Schiavone, talking about his community service work. Might he be interested in a title shot at Big Van Vader as well? Mayhaps he might.

Nikita Koloff joins JR and man he’s making zero effort to maintain his Russian accent at this point. Not even a HOW YOU SAY for optics. Might as well be Barry Darsow out there now. Apparently he’s fluent in English now and all the idioms it offers. Wel I guess he’s been in the US for a few years now. Anyway he wants Madusa go somewhere else and let him beat Rick Rude fair and square.

Big Van Vader v. Jim Nash

Vader immediately hits the kid with a back suplex and then puts him down with a clubbing clothesline. Corner splash and he beats on Nash, who is a big good-looking kid according to JR, and I can’t disagree. Vader beats him down and finishes with a big splash. I figure this kid must have been pushed later on, and in fact he WAS. He got repackaged later on into Jungle Jim Steele and then had a pretty decent career in Japan, given all his limitations.

WCW World TV title: Steve Austin v. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat has his ribs all taped up after getting injured by Doc & Gordy at the Bash PPV, so Austin goes right for those and Ricky has to take him down with a facelock. Austin reverses out and takes shots at the ribs again, so Ricky sends him to the floor to escape and hits him with a kneelift on the way into the ring. Steamboat works the arm and they trade reversals off a headlock, but Steamboat cradles for two and goes to work on the arm. Austin tries to walk the ropes and Steamboat takes him down with the armbar again to counter. Ricky with a hammerlock, but we take a break and return with Austin in control and working the ribs. Austin with a bearhug while JR promises “interesting news about Hulk Hogan” on the WCW Hotline. Is that he’s dead? Because he’s a few decades too early. Honestly not sure what interesting news about him there would be in August of 1992, as he didn’t have anything going on.

Austin sends him to the floor and suplexes him back in as we’re 15:00 into this thing and they’re barely out of first gear. Austin with an abdominal stretch and a slam to further injure the ribs. JR notes that Austin has “Perhaps one of the brightest futures in WCW”. Well not in WCW, but close. Honestly at this point who would have guessed that Steve Austin in the WWF would be the secret sauce that ignited his own career and changed the business? Steamboat fights back and Austin cuts him off with a bodyscissors as JR notes that this move has been around for “decades and decades”. Ah, so almost as long as this match, then. Austin misses a splash and Steamboat makes the comeback with a backbreaker for two. Small package gets two. Rollup gets two. Steamboat with a sleeper and Austin rams him into the corner to break, and they collide for a double down. Paul E. takes the ref and throws Steve an international object, but Ricky steals it and knocks him out for the pin and the title at 21:20. But he’s too stupid to hide it, so the ref sees it on his hand and calls for the DQ instead. Jesus Christ, 20 minutes for THAT shitty finish? Picked up a tiny bit at the end but it was mostly armbars. *1/2

Man, I remain firmly in the “Bill Watts WCW was underrated and unappreciated” camp but episodes like this one DO NOT help his cause any.