The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW – 01.27.97

– This will be my last rant for a week or so, as we’re moving and the cable doesn’t get hooked up until next Tuesday. How I will live without 24/7 for a week, I honestly don’t know. (Backstory! This was written around 2007, and we were moving because we were kicked out of our dream apartment due to the building getting sold for condos. It was wonderful, because there was a second bathroom and I had my own office for writing and a FIREPLACE and everything. The real kick in the pants is that we actually repainted it ourselves because we wanted to make it perfect, and then they decided to use our place as the show room because we did such a good job on it. We were then kicked out of the NEXT place we rented as well, because the owners also sold the property, and finally bought our own house in 2010 and we’ve been there ever since. Unfortunately I have no office now and only one bathroom, but at least we know we’re not getting the property sold out from under us.)

Monday Night RAW!

– Hosted by Vince & King

Ahmed Johnson v. Crush

So on the weekend before this show, Savio Vega turned on heel on Ahmed and joined the Nation. Crush attacks on the floor to start and stomps him down. Into the ring, Ahmed catches him with a powerslam and scissor kick to take over. Corkscrew elbow misses and Crush chokes him down, however. He goes to a bodyscissors and camel clutch, giving me a chance to lament on Crush’s cornrows here as we take a break. I mean, considering the kind of hair care regime that Bryan Adams would pursue as a part of Kronik, it’s sad to see his hair in that kind of state. Back from the break with Crush going up, but getting caught with a dropkick on the way down. Ahmed dumps him with a clothesline, but Faarooq attacks him from behind and allows Crush to finish with the heart punch.

(Crush d. Ahmed Johnson, heart punch — pin, 4:43, 1/2*) This was a pretty weird feud, as the NOD beat down Ahmed in a variety of situations, but before he could get revenge he chose to join the group instead.

– In two weeks, Thursday RAW Thursday! That would actually one of the shows that sets things in motion that change wrestling forever. Wonder how they’ll handle that one? Separate RAW and Nitro shows instead of the MNW show that week? (I don’t remember how they handled it, but I AM annoyed that the Network took forever to add it to the collection! Thankfully they now have it.)

– Vince brings out WWF champion Shawn Michaels for some words about his upcoming rematch with Sid at the Thursday RAW show. Hmm, the knee doesn’t SEEM injured here. After Shawn says his piece, Vince also brings out Bret Hart, who stresses that he wants Shawn to win so that he gets the title back from Shawn at Wrestlemania. Undertaker also joins us and he’s sick of hearing about Bret getting screwed. Well, he’d change his tune come November. Austin think they’re all crybabies and should just shut up. Tell ’em, Steve.

The British Bulldog v. Doug Furnas

Furnas overpowers Bulldog to start, and runs into him in the corner for two. Was Bulldog supposed t move there? Looked awkward. Suplex gets two. Bulldog backs off and Furnas throws some chops, but misses a blind charge and winds up on the floor as a result. Bulldog introduces him to the post and drops the stairs on him, but using wrestling logic he’s not disqualified, since it’s on the floor and thus exists outside the laws of reality. We take a break and return wtih Ahmed Johnson breaking into the NOD dressing room, which is empty. Back to the match, as Bulldog grabs a headlock, which Furnas quickly fights out of. He stomps Furnas down for two, however. They slug it out and Bulldog clotheslines him, but Furnas backdrops out of a piledriver attempt. Bulldog suplexes him for two, and goes back to the headlock again. Furnas escapes and gets a dropkick, and follows with an overhead suplex for two. Powerslam gets two. He goes for the rana, but Bulldog powerbombs him for two. Owen takes a swing with the Slammy, but hits Bulldog by mistake and Furnas gets two. Furnas goes for a sunset flip, but Bulldog uses the Bret Hart counter for the pin instead. Nice.

(Bulldog d. Furnas, pinfall counter — pin, 7:33, **3/4) This got better as it went along, with lots of cool counters and stuff at the end of it. Bulldog and Owen argue more after the win, but eventually shake hands and make nice again.

– Let us take you back to MSG, as Savio Vega turns to the dark side, and then later on Shotgun Saturday Night as he continues the path of rage and beats up Rocky as well.

The Mankind They Call Vader v. The Godwinns

PIG pounds on Mankind to start, and Henry comes in and slams him, which leaves Mankind rocking in the corner. Vader comes in and takes care of business, hammering on PIG in the corner and adding a clothesline to kill him dead. Mankind comes in with the Mandible Claw, but Henry plows into them to break it up, putting Mankind on the floor. Phineas tries a suplex back in, but Vader holds the foot to prevent it, and the heels slingshot him down to the floor. We take a break and return with Henry getting the hot tag, but getting beat down by Vader. Henry comes back with a backdrop suplex on him, but misses an elbow. Vader drops his own elbow and dumps him, but Mankind charges with a chair and hits Vader by mistake, drawing the DQ.

(The Godwinns d. Mankind & Vader, DQ, 6:39, *1/2) Another one where I don’t even know what the point was.

The Pulse:

Both shows were pretty equally dull this week, and neither had a truly standout match, so we’ll call it a draw.