The SmarK Rant for Smoky Mountain Wrestling – 07.08.94

The SmarK Rant for Smoky Mountain Wrestling – 07.08.94

Originally written 09.18.25

WHY NOT.

We actually left off in May of 1994 when I last checked in with this promotion, but the Peacock collection jumps to July. I think it was related to adding a bunch of Jericho stuff to the Network at the time.

Taped from Loudon, TN

Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Les Thatcher

BREAKING NEWS: Bob Armstrong has resigned as Smoky Mountain commissioner! More on that later.

The Thrillseekers v. Larry Santos & James Atkins

Lance is currently one of my favorite follows online, as he shares my disdain for the way the world is going and he has a cute dog. Lance hits Santos with an enzuigiri while flipping off him, and it’s over to Jericho for a double-team dropkick that finishes at 1:00. These kids need to SLOW DOWN a bit.

Jake Roberts joins Bob, sporting a new bald hairdo and seeking revenge against the Dirty White Boy. It’s not the beginning of the end, it’s the end of the beginning! Jake is a double edged sword and dangerous to grab on either side. Jake admits that maybe he went too far with the Dirty White Girl, and he asks her to come out and receive his apology. So the dangerous Kendo the Samurai carries her into the ring, but it turns out to be Bambi, and Jake assaults her and threatens a DDT until Dirty White Boy makes the save. But then Jake and Kendo double-team him and a second Kendo the Samurai makes the save there, as apparently there are multiple Kendo the Samurai. Are they all played by Tim Horner?

Last week, Brian Lee and Chris Candido destroy the Rock N Roll Express after Tammy sprays hairspray in their face, and Tammy CUTS RICKY’S HAIR. So then we get footage of a house show match with RNR & Bambi v. Lee, Candido & Sytch, which ends with Morton pinning Brian Lee with a small package. Weird how Brian Lee suddenly has his hair dyed dark red for some reason. Not sure why he’d undertake that new hairstyle.

The Rock N Roll Express joins Bob as Ricky complains about his hair getting cut multiple times. So he’s got a contract for a hair v. hair match, and leaves it on the table if they’ve got the guts. So after the break, an excited Tammy berates both of her team for crying about getting their head shaved if they lose. “It’s hair, it’ll grow back.” So Tammy signs the contract and she’s super happy about that. I sense a twist coming.

Brian Lee & Chris Candido v. Chris Hamrick & Joe Cazana

Hamrick tries a leapfrog and Candido powerbombs him while the RNR join us on commentary, and Ricky reveals that the signed contract states TAMMY has to shave her head if they lose, at which point the heels storm out and the jobbers win by countout. So this ended up being very bad for Cornette, because they booked the match where either Ricky Morton or Tammy got their head shaved as a result of losing, and then Morton lost the match and didn’t get his head shaved. Cornette justified it by claiming that fans were happier because the babyface got screwed by the heels and fans would have been madder at him adhering to the stip under false pretenses, but in fact the fanbase was PISSED about the fake stipulation and it took a long time to regain their trust again.

Last week, we get a giant brawl with the Armstrong boys and Bruiser Bedlam and other heels, resulting in Bob Armstrong hitting the ring with a baseball bat and busting people open. And afterwards he declares that he’s stepping down as commissioner so he can bust heads as a civilian. And Bob declares that Jim Cornette will regret the day that his mother has congress with a demon and gave birth to him! That’s a pretty sick burn.

Meanwhile, we get footage from Knoxville with the Armstrongs v. The Funks, with Terry stealing the win after Jim Cornette cheats. Also we get Tracy Smothers v. Bruiser Bedlam, which sees Tracy missing the Jawjacker, allowing Bedlam to slam him repeatedly on a chair. But he goes up and misses, headbutting the chair, allowing Tracy to get the pin. And the Funks hit the ring for a big beatdown, until Bullet Bob makes the save with his new baseball bat. So we get an interview with Bob Armstrong and his family, as he wants a six-man tag for Night of Legends with Tracy Smothers as his partner, and a mystery man as his other partner because he can’t choose between his sons.

Meanwhile, Jim Cornette promises that he can pay off anyone Bob Armstrong picks as a partner, so he better pick wisely.

The Dirty White Boy has got one match in mind for Jake the Snake, and he’ll reveal it….next week.

Beat the Champ TV title: Tracy Smothers v. Steven Dunn

Dunn attacks to start while Bob notes that the mystery partner was someone who “gave Jim Cornette one of the worst days of his life already”. Jim Herd? Tracy gets a sunset flip for the pin at 1:18.

The Thrillseekers join Bob for a presentation of a CAKE from the people of Tennessee. Uh oh. They really love the cake, but Jim Cornette interrupts and accuses them of lying about being happy to be here. Indeed, it seems like Jim went to North Dakota and found Canada by following the smell. He hates Canada you see. But he hates Tennessee more, and notes that the fans here only love the Thrillseekers because they’re impressed by anyone who has all their teeth and can count to five. He also wants them to be honest and admit that they’re second rate next to the Heavenly Bodies with all their gaga. So Jericho thanks him for his critique, and offers him some of the cake as a thank you. So of course, they shove his face in the cake and destroy it. Couple of bullies, those two.

This was a really breezy and enjoyable episode with good simple storylines that were easy to follow. Always enjoyed this promotion.