The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide Wrestling – 01.11.86

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide Wrestling – 01.11.86

Originally written 12.22.25

Taped from Spartanburg, SC on 01.07.86

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett

Tully Blanchard and new manager JJ Dillon join us to start, and they threaten to slap Tony and David around just like they did to Baby Doll last week, if they don’t straighten up and fly right and maybe dress a little better as well.

Don Kernodle & Ron Bass v. George South & Mark Fleming

Kernodle puts South down with a back elbow as we have BREAKING NEWS: Arn Anderson has won the World TV title tournament and has rightly won the belt he stole from Dusty now. But also Ole Anderson is injured, so the Andersons may need to vacate their National tag team titles. Kernodle with a running powerslam on Fleming and he follows with a lariat, and it’s over to Ron Basss to finish it off with the CLAW HOLD at 2:00. Kind of a weird babyface combo.

Tully and JJ return to talk with David again, and Tully apologizes for losing his cool earlier, and shows off JJ Dillon’s new suit, giving him the look he would use for the rest of his career, replacing the tacky tuxes he used to wear. So we get footage of Jimmy Valiant facing Black Bart, as Tully runs in and beats the crap out of him before piledriving him on the floor. This is a MESSAGE for Dusty Rhodes, you see. Couldn’t he just shoot him a text?

Uncle Ivan Koloff v. Mac Jeffers

Mac, the future Mod Squad member, tries to take Ivan down and work a toehold, but he misses a bodypress and lands on his face, allowing Ivan to take over. Ivan drops a leg on him and tosses him for a beating on the apron before necking him on the top rope. Back in, Koloff with a back elbow and a Sickle to finish at 2:15. The heat for this was off the CHAIN.

Arn Anderson & Ric Flair join David, showing off all their gold, and Arn’s sweet fedora hat. Flair isn’t worried about Ole getting hurt and defending his title, and then shows some footage from New Year’s Day at the Omni, where Dusty Rhodes and the Road Warriors get some revenge and triple team Ole, breaking his leg thanks to Dusty coming off the top rope with a kneedrop. Surprised that didn’t break the ring along with the bone. Ric thinks this is INEXCUSABLE and it’s gonna cost someone their career. What’s he gonna do, put together a group of four guys? I’D LIKE TO SEE HIM TRY!

STARCADE 85 THE GATHERING! ORDER THE VHS NOW! Sadly I had a Beta deck in 1986 and didn’t get a VHS until we tried to rent Wrestlemania 3 in 1987 and the video store didn’t have any Beta copies available. So my dad ANGRILY went to Sears and we bought our first VHS deck right then and retned the shit out of that tape that night.

Meanwhile, we get a promo for a St. Louis show in February, with Ric Flair facing Harley Race in a cage match, and Ric promises “If you think I’m gonna job for you, Race, you’re sorely mistaken!” I didn’t even think Race was still around the promotion at that point.

Dusty Rhodes and his new friend, Baby Doll, join David, and Dusty still wants that World title currently held by Flair. So let’s take another look of the footage of Dusty personally breaking Ole’s leg, as he claims that Arn didn’t earn that TV title and he apparently won it through some kind of skullduggery. I find it hard to believe any man who could pull off that sweet fedora hat could be anything but a perfect gentleman. Also Dusty and Baby Doll brag about all the sex they’re having.

Excuse me while I go barf up my supper.

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OK I’m back.

The Barbarian v. Stoney Burke

Pistol Pez Whatley joins us on commentary doing an excited recap of all the things we anticipates happening in 1986 while Barbarian hits Burke with a press slam and chokes him out. Barbarian with a dropkick, which is admittedly impressive, and he tosses Burke for a shot from Paul Jones. Barbarian drops him on the top rope as the teenage girl crowd is just SHRIEKING in horror, so Barbarian and Jones keep abusing this poor geek to draw bigger and bigger reactions from them. Wrestling used to be so much fun. Back in the ring, Barbarian finally just puts him away with the diving headbutt at 3:50. Also the graphic for the commercial notes that Barbarian is “A Graduate of the School of Pain”. Student loans must be brutal for that.

Ric Flair joins David to rant again about being all man. And he shows off a beefcake photo of Magnum TA, wearing a towel, and notes that “a skinny little guy who can cover up his better half with a napkin” poses no threat to him.

This week in 1986 commercials: THE McDLT! Real ones know.

Arn Anderson joins David to discuss winning the World TV title tournament and he is so wearing that hat. So we get a quick music video package of Arn beating Wahoo in the finals, and now the “Four Horsemen”, whoever they are, are saturated with titles. But then Baby Doll comes out and declares “Arn Anderson, you are next”. This appears to be a problem for Arn.

Ron Garvin v. Gene Ligon

Ron is in the last throes of his mullet era, and he finishes Ligon with HANDS OF STONE at 0:45.

Magnum TA joins David, and he’s going on the offense in 1986, and Nikita Koloff is on the top of his list!

Tully Blanchard v. Rocky King

Magnum gets the fans all riled up against Tully, so Tully takes it out on Rocky and tosses him. Back in, King fights back, but Tully cuts him off and slugs him down, before finishing with the slingshot suplex at 1:34. This crowd is unbelievable.

Magnum TA joins us again, to discuss Arn Anderson this time, and he wants to watch this match and take notes.

World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Tony Zane

Zane is of course the quintessential pudgy and pale Crockett jobber, who looks terrified to be even in the same ring with the stars. Arn takes him down and tortures the arm, before finishing with the gourdbuster at 2:43.

Jim Cornette joins David and he considers the Rock N Roll Express the only competition to the Midnight Express, and he promises to win the tag team titles from them and get rid of them.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Jim Jeffers & ???

They never even introduce the other guy, as the double dropkick finishes at 0:20 and then the Midnight Express hits the ring and the crazy brawl erupts. The crowd is just going BATSHIT for this, as the MX drops Ricky throatfirst on the tennis racket and then runs away when the babyfaces storm the ring to save. And Ricky is bleeding internally! David: “They’re taking him out.” Cornette: “TAKING HIM OUT TO A GARBAGE HEAP!” But then Robert attacks Cornette while he’s doing his promo and the crowd goes bananas again, as Magnum pulls him off and Ricky is bleeding from his mouth all over the place.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! Keep it coming, 1986 Worldwide! Like holy shit, remember when they could pack an armory with a few hundred hyperactive teenagers and come up with the hottest product on TV? Goddamn.