Worldwide
Rants

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 03.22.86

By Scott Keith on 4 April 2026

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 03.22.86

Originally written 04.03.26

Taped from (I’m guessing) Mooresville, NC on 03.18.86

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett

We have BREAKING NEWS to start, as Black Bart has defeated Sam Houston to win the Mid-Atlantic title!

Tully Blanchard v. Mark Fleming

Tully attacks to start and slugs away, and then hits the slingshot suplex at 0:14.

The Barbarian v. Rocky Kernodle

Apparently Paul Jones was absent last week because he was out shopping for new members of his Army. Meanwhile Barbarian finishes with the flying headbutt at 0:25. Man they’re not working by the hour this week.

The Rock N Roll Express join David and they’re prepping to win the Crockett Cup, and Jim Cornette is gonna be locked in a cage in their rematches with the Midnight Express.

Manny Fernandez v. Mike Simiani

Tony reveals that next week we learn the OFFICIAL AIRLINE of the Crockett Cup for those needing to fly down to New Orleans. Potential ratings bonanza there. And the Bull finishes with the Flying Burrito at 0:55 as we’re ripping through the squashes this week.

Afterwards, Manny talks about riding storms and bad weather, as long as he’s got his best friend and tag team partner Jimmy Valiant by his side.

CROCKETT CUP REPORT!

We get a press conference hosted by some guy, and Mrs. Jim Crockett Sr. does a remote promo before Bill Apter announces the top ten seeds for the Crockett Cup. Oh no…did someone say TOP TEN?

TERMS OF SERVICE AND USER AGREEMENT: By accessing, viewing, scrolling through, or otherwise becoming aware of the following Top Ten List (the “List”), you (the “User,” defined herein as any individual, entity, or passive observer with the capacity to form opinions) agree to be bound by these Terms of Service (the “Terms”) in their entirety, regardless of whether such agreement is explicit, implied, reluctant, or immediately regretted.

The User acknowledges that the List is provided on an “as-is,” “as-available,” and “as-decided” basis, and that all rankings contained therein are final, binding, and retroactively correct. Any attempt to dispute, reinterpret, or “take another look at this” shall constitute a material breach of these Terms and may result in the immediate revocation of Opinion Privileges.

The User further agrees not to engage in unauthorized analysis, including but not limited to the use of phrases such as “I feel like,” “you could argue,” or “this might be controversial,” all of which are expressly prohibited under Section 3(a)(ii) of these Terms, whether or not such a section exists.

By continuing, the User waives any and all rights to arbitration, mediation, debate, or posting a slightly better list in response. Any grievances must be submitted in writing and will be reviewed in a timely manner before being disregarded.

The List may not be copied, reproduced, distributed, improved upon, or shown to a friend with the preface “check this out,” as such actions imply the existence of alternative perspectives, which are not recognized under these Terms.

The creators of the List reserve the right to amend, revise, double down on, or become increasingly defensive about any ranking without notice or justification. Continued exposure to the List constitutes acceptance of any and all present and future positions, including those not yet determined.

These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of a jurisdiction to be selected at a later date based on whatever is funniest at the time. If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, it shall remain fully enforceable anyway.

And now, the Top Ten seeds for the Crockett Cup.

  1. The Road Warriors
  2. Dusty & Magnum
  3. The Midnight Express
  4. Ric Flair & Arn Anderson
  5. Rick Martel & Dino Bravo
  6. Rock N Roll Express
  7. Giant Baba & Tiger Mask
  8. Ivan & Nikita Koloff
  9. The Sheepherders
  10. Ted Dibiase & Steve Williams

Well that list sure changed a bit later on. And in fact, Bill Watts immediately takes the podium and announces that Flair and Dusty are both pulling out of the tournament and having a match at the show instead. So Bill Apter then announces that Ronnie Garvin is taking over for Dusty, and Tully Blanchard is replacing Ric Flair.

Tully Blanchard joins David back at the arena, as JJ declares that Dusty Rhodes has had his last shot at the National title, and David Crockett can only shake his head in disagreement. But Tully is onto bigger and better things, like winning the US title back from Magnum TA and getting the million dollars in the Crockett Cup.

Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin v. Tony Zane

Garvin is rapidly becoming my favorite part of these shows. Brainbuster finishes at 1:04, most of which was Precious helping Jimmy take off his sparkly-green shorts and boot covers. Also Jimmy points out that HE DOESN’T SEE WAHOO.

Sam Houston joins David and he’s got tape of Black Bart stealing the title from him.

Mid-Atlantic title: Sam Houston v. Black Bart

Joined with Sam trying a bulldog out of the corner, but the ref is bumped, and Sam gets a flying headscissors into a cradle with no ref. Sam hits a bulldog on the second try but the ref is still, so Bart throws him over the top rope and Sam hits his head on the railing on the way down. Bart hits him with a guillotine legdrop on the way in, and pins him to win the title.

Back at the arena, Sam is pretty upset at losing the title, although really if you think about it, Bart did nothing wrong, aside from the technically illegal moves he used.

Black Bart v. The Italian Stallion

So Bart is the new Mid-Atlantic champion and I don’t think any of us will be OK again now. Bart beats on the Stallion in the corner, but he comes back with dropkicks and a headlock. Bart drops him on the top rope while Sam Houston comes out to yell at Bart and Sam’s grandpa Nelson Royal tries to hold him back. Stallion makes a comeback on the distracted Bart and backdrops him, but doesn’t go for the pin. This allows Bart to get a cheapshot and hit him with a kneedrop before choking him out on the mat. Bart continues pounding on the Stallion and choking him in the corner, but Stallion comes back again, so Bart chokes him down on the ropes for two. Stallion with a suplex for two. Bart cuts him off again and then goes to a chinlock this time. But then Stallion makes yet another comeback and hiptosses him out of the corner for a dropkick, which gets two. But then Bart finally slams him and finishes with the middle rope legdrop at 8:01. THIS is match they give the time?

Jimmy Garvin joins David and he’s still complaining about the lack of Wahoo. So David throws to a video package of Wahoo. Jimmy points out that he’s not any of the guys in that video getting chopped, and he’s not that Rusty guy everyone is cheering for, and IT’S NOT HIS FAULT he’s so good!

Ron Garvin v. Ron Rossi

Hands of Stone finishes at 0:10 as we’re back to the quickie squashes.

Jim Cornette joins us and complains that all the guys who want shots at the tag team titles are a bunch of clowns and none of them deserve it. Also he’s upset that his team is only the #3 seed, just because they’re not niceenough.

The Rock N Roll Express v. George South & ???

Double dropkick finishes at 0:20. Why do I even bother with a stopwatch?

Black Bart joins David to YELL HIS PROMO and announce that he’s teaming with Jimmy Garvin to win the million dollars. And we get Paul Jones stumbling over his promo, talking in circles about growing his army and hating Jimmy Valiant.

NEXT WEEK: THE OFFICIAL AIRLINE OF THE CROCKETT CUP!

No spoilers please, I don’t know who it is yet.