The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 06.15.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 06.15.85

Taped from Shreveport, LA.

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts.

LAST WEEK: Jim Duggan gets jumped by Dr. Death & Ted Dibiase while trying to avenge his burned face against Akbar’s men, but BY GAWD COWBOY BILL WATTS prevents Akbar from shoving a lit cigar in Duggan’s face.

Skandor Akbar cuts a promo about Duggan’s “handicap”, because he’s got unlimited money and resources and he’ll keep spending them until he destroys Watts and Duggan.

The Bruiser & Tommy Pritchard v. The Rock N Roll Express

To say that the crowd loses their shit for the Rock N Rolls would be an understatement. Robert controls the heels with armdrags, but Bruiser pops Ricky in the mouth and Morton gets pissed and finishes him with the double dropkick at 1:01. Apparently they have earned a tag title rematch with Doc & Dibiase as a result of this impressive win.

The Barbarian v. Frankie Lane

Barbarian literally plays “Hey, what’s that?” with Lane and then clobbers him when he looks away, and goes to a bearhug. Lane comes back with a dropkick, but Barbarian pounds him down with the clubbing forearms and drops the leg, then comes off the middle rope with a NORWEGIAN OUTTA CONTROL flying elbow and finishes with the full nelson at 1:29. That was a pretty damn good elbow, actually. Also now that I can’t unsee him as Vladimir Petrov knowing that he was the first choice.

The Dirty White Boys v. Terry Daniels & Wildcat Wendell Cooley

Denton attacks Daniels and slugs away, but Daniels gets some token offense and brings in Cooley. He gets some shine on Anthony, but puts his head down and gets elbowed and the Boys take over. Denton comes in with a clothesline and chokes away on the ropes and Anthony beats him down with forearms for two. Denton with a backdrop suplex for two. Cooley makes a comeback, but Anthony switches in and clobbers him. Cooley finally makes the hot tag to Daniels, but he misses a dropkick and the DWBs finish him with a double team backbreaker at 4:07. What a geek. YOU’RE A DISGRACE TO THE MARINE CORPS, DANIELS!

The Snowman v. Pat Rose

Snowman backdrops Rose, but runs into a boot in the corner and Rose gets some offense that is cheerfully no-sold by Snowman. Snowman is “255 pounds of bad” according to Jim Ross. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. Snowman with a press slam that goes badly, so he does it again and then falls on his ass delivering a back elbow. Powerslam finishes at 2:00 and even then he looked like he forgot how to do the move halfway through. You PICK HIM UP, and you FALL ON TOP OF HIM. Not rocket surgery.

This brings Dutch Mantel in with the bullwhip, looking for some satisfaction, but the refs break it up and protect the supposed badass Snowman so he doesn’t have to fight his own battle.

Dr. Death Steve Williams & Ted Dibiase v. The Fantastics

Non-title match here and there are literally women SHRIEKING when the Fantastics make their entrance. How did Bill Watts so completely fail to cash in on this? He had both the Fantastics and the Rock N Roll Express at the same time! Make some merchandise and a bunch of posters and you’re literally printing money for months. The Fantastics clear the ring to start as the crowd loses its shit. Back in, Doc misses a blind charge and hits the turnbuckle, and the Fantastics go to work on his shoulder. Doc comes back and tries to use his power, but Rogers reverses to a hiptoss and Fulton comes in with a double-team and stays on the arm. Sunset flip gets two off that. Bodypress gets two. Doc throws him to the floor on the kickout, so Dibiase runs him into the post to take over. Back in, Doc bearhugs Fulton and Dibiase comes in with a backbreaker for two. Backdrop and fistdrop set up the delayed suplex for two. Doc goes to the bearhug again and just hurls him down like an angry bear, and then picks him up delivers three straight backbreakers for two. Back to the bearhug and Dibiase tries a backdrop, but Fulton reverses to a sunset flip, so Dibiase punches him in the face for two. Dibiase goes up and misses the elbow, and it’s hot tag Tommy Rogers. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Rogers tries a flying headscissors on Doc and Dibiase knocks him the fuck out with the loaded glove at 8:35. And then Doc knocks out Fulton with his loaded gauntlet to keep him from making the save! That was a badass finish to a hell of a tag team match. ***1/2

Terry Taylor v. Edcar “Boo” Thomas

Thomas gets all up in Taylor’s face, so Terry backdrops him and takes him down with a wristlock. Thomas reverses to his own, but Taylor goes back to his own armbar and Thomas makes the ropes. Next week, Akbar brings in Zambuie, who I think was Ray Candy, showing where Watts’ true priorities were. Big fat heels that he could fight! FOR AMERICA! Taylor continues to outwrestle Thomas and finishes him with the flying forearm at 3:06. I think this was about the point where they just gave up on the Thomas experiment.

The Champion v. Superstar Bill Dundee

As noted, The Nightmare is now known as the Champion since he’s the North American champion. Well that’s stupid. What kind of a moron goes around calling himself “THE CHAMPION”? He’s probably all obsessed with the key demos, too. That’s probably why he became half of DEMO-lition. I dunno, I don’t have much to work with here. Dundee gets some shine on The Champion, but The Champion goes to a facelock to grind Dundee down and follows with a backbreaker for two. Dundee makes a comeback, but the Champion drops elbows on him, and then misses a big splash. Dundee comes back again and gets a sleeper this time, but Champion escapes with a backbreaker. Dundee gets a rollup, but Champion shoves him into Eddie Gilbert while Champion loads up his mask for the pin at 4:41. OK, two loaded gimmick finishes on the same show is a bit much.

NEXT WEEK: Ted Dibiase & Dr. Death v. The Rock N Roll Express for the Mid-South tag team titles!