The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 02.05.83

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 02.05.83

Originally written 08.14.25

FFS now Peacock has gone up in price AGAIN, so in order to review this stuff without a million commercials (unless they add it to the Netflix collection) I’m gonna now have to pay $17 US per month plus VPN costs. This is getting stupid, especially since everything is gonna disappear at the end of the year anyway. I think I’m paid up through something like October at least. I want to actually support the legal holders of the rights but they are greedy as fuck.

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Cowboy Bill Watts, and Cowboy notably has Stagger Lee’s North American title belt, as the belt is apparently now vacant. The rumor is that Ted Dibiase tipped off Stagger Lee’s probation officer and now he’s gone underground. But hey, at least JYD is back now!

Tim Horner v. Sonny Rogers

Rogers takes Horner down for a ride, but Horner responds with armdrags. So Watts updates us on young Steve “Dr. Death” Williams, who has been drafted #1 by the USFL team in New Jersey. Obviously Watts is a big fan of the young Williams. Maybe he’ll be a wrestler someday! They trade shoulders while Bill continues updating us, telling us about how the Freebirds screwed Kerry Von Erich out of the NWA World title in a cage match against Ric Flair. World Class is one that I’ve kind of avoided for a long time because I didn’t want to trod on Rock Star Gary’s territory but eventually I’ll start working it in. Rogers wins a slugfest in the corner and the ref suddenly calls for a DQ at 3:45, apparently for an illegal karate blow to the throat, and it’s immediately weird as they continue the match until the ref tells them to quit and calls it off. Not sure what happened there because I don’t think that would have been the planned finish.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Joe Stark

Duggan puts the beats on Stark in the corner and hiptosses him before hooking a chinlock and cranking on that. Duggan puts him down with a back elbow and goes back to the chinlock, and then hits him with a backbreaker and then lifts him into a powerslam. He misses a kneedrop and Stark makes a comeback, so Duggan runs him into the turnbuckles and then drops him on the top rope for the pin at 2:50. Oh man the commentary with Cowboy is 1000% better than the weeks they put Paul Boesch on there to bore us to death.

Kamala v. Buddy Landel

I was watching a rerun of Pawn Stars the other day and someone brought in a Kamala Hasbro figure with the rare moon belly, although it turned out to be a fake because otherwise it would have been worth a literal fortune. It was just weird because I rarely see anyone out of the wrestling bubble who is aware of stuff like that, especially not on a super mainstream show. You’ll get things like Mick Foley doing a guest appearance to verify his signature sometimes, but the Kamala figure is such a specific bit of wrestling nerd lore. Buddy attacks and Kamala just tosses him across the ring and then chokes him down while Cowboy claims that Buddy can bench 500 pounds. How much coke did he need to do in order to even try that? I call shenanigans. Kamala continues choking him out while Bill tells a story about a young lady from Oral Roberts University who apparently comes from Uganda and knew Kamala back in their home country. I also call shenanigans to that story. Kamala with the chops in the corner, but Buddy fights back, so Kamala chops him down, rolls him over, and hits him with the big splash a few times and pins him at 2:14.

Kelly Kiniski v. Tony Atlas

Kelly tells the fans to SHUT UP so I guess his run as a rough and tough heel continues. Atlas takes him down and works an armbar while Bill tells us how Tony is STREET TOUGH and grew up hard and cold in the tough part of town. OK, but did he ever throw a sub sandwich at a federal agent? Now that’s badass. They trade wristlocks and Atlas takes him down while Bill clarifies that DQ from the first match and runs down all the reasons you can be disqualified (ringpost, over the top rope, hitting the ref, and of course KARATE TO THE THROAT) while Atlas backdrops Kiniski and works the arm. Kelly works a headlock and beats on Atlas with forearms, but Tony takes him down with a flying headscissors and a nice dropkick. Atlas with a gorilla press and he finishes with a big splash at 4:00.

Andre the Giant v. Mike Bond & Tom Renesto

Andre is announced as “Standing all alone…but very tall.” No lies detected. Andre gleefully bends Renesto in a surfboard and throws headbutts, and then laughs off Renesto’s chops and beats him down with forearms. Andre puts him in a cravat while Cowboy recaps Andre’s recent feud with Killer Khan. The two jobbers try to double-team him in the corner and Andre just rams them together and puts them both down with big boots. Amazingly they both manage to take Andre down with single-legs and they dogpile Andre for two. So Andre just whips them both into the corner and squishes them. Renesto tries to go to the top rope, so Andre pulls him down, slams him onto Bond, and sits on them both for the pin at 3:50. Andre looked like he was having so much fun out there.

Meanwhile, Cowboy chats with the Rat Pack, who will be defending the Mid-South tag team title against Andre the Giant and Tony Atlas next week. But first Dibiase bitches about Stagger Lee forfeiting the North American title, which means that he should be champion. Also Ted continues the conspiracy theory that Stagger Lee is actually Junkyard Dog, in order to cover up his devious plan to send Stagger Lee back to prison by ratting to his probation officer.

Junkyard Dog & Mr. Wrestling II v. Marty Lunde & Don Bass

But before we can start, the Rat Pack comes out and buys out the contract from Lunde & Bass, taking over the match, as Ted Dibiase shows that money can buy anything. Lunde protests that they’ve got a good shot here, but they negotiate an agreement and switch teams.

Junkyard Dog & Mr. Wrestling II v. Matt Borne & Ted Dibiase

The Rat Pack tries to whip the babyfaces together, but the faces make a comeback and then Lunde & Bass immediately run in and all four heels attack. But then Dog fights them off and hits Marty with the Thump and pins him at 1:00. Well that backfired. Hopefully Dibiase learned a valuable lesson about money not being able to buy happiness.

Iron Mike Sharpe v. Art Crews

Sharpe works an ankle while Watts explains the difference between Greco-roman and Freestyle wrestling programs in college, and then drops a reference to a young amateur wrestler in Louisiana State named (checks notes) “John Tenta”, who is apparently performing strongly for them right now. I bet he’ll have a seismic impact on the sport. Sharpe goes to a full nelson as Bill announces that in two weeks, they’ll actually air that Kerry v. Flair match from World Class. FORBIDDEN DOOR! Sharpe works a wristlock on the mat. Also coming into the area will be the Moondogs out of Atlanta, apparently. Crew manages to take Sharpe down for two and they do a test of strength. YOU FOOL. He’s Canada’s strongest athlete! Crews with a hiptoss while Watts keeps talking about doing a tournament for the Brass Knux title, but Sharpe finishes with the clothesline at 4:51. Man they’ve been talking about the Brass Knux tournament FOREVER. Did it ever actually happen?

And we finish with an interview with Andre the Giant and Tony Atlas, in advance of their tag team title shot next week.

It’s really incredible the difference in how much fun the shows with Cowboy Bill Watts on commentary are, as compared to how bland the dry the shows with Paul Boesch on commentary are. Watts clearly is out there telling the stories and putting over the guys he loves and you just feel like you’re listening to someone doing his best to make you love his product as well.