The SmarK Rant for WWF King Of The Ring 1998

Live from Pittsburgh, PA.

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Kaientai v. TAKA Michinoku & The Headbangers
Thrasher and Men’s Teoih start, and man is Teoih short. More beats from the Bangers on Kaientai. Taka gets the first highspot with his plancha on Funaki. JR actually mentions the UWA middleweight title, oddly enough. Taka misses another highspot and wipes out on the floor, allowing KDX to take over. Kind of a schmozz breaks out and the Bangers double-team Funaki, and Taka hits the Michinoku Driver for the pin. Spotty but served it’s purpose.

Rating: **3/4

Some chick…Rena something…comes out to introduce Mr. McMahon. Vince runs down the crowd and warns them to prepare for Austin losing the title tonight. Dull time-filler.

King of the Ring Semi-Final #1: Jeff Jarrett v. Ken Shamrock
JJ was in Gimmick Number Three at this point: Another attempt at the “Ain’t I Great” thing, complete with Tennessee Lee. Shammy tosses JJ around like a ragdoll and tries to kill him. He puts his head down and gets neckbreakered…broken…whatever. They fight outside the ring and Shamrock beats the crap out of Jarrett. Lee’s interference allows JJ to go to work on the ankle. Shamrock basically decides to stop selling at some arbitrary point and makes the comeback with a vicious rana and anklelock for the tap-out. This was there.

Rating: **1/4

Semi-Final #2: The Rock v. Dan Severn
For those who keep track of these things, Rock is using the version of his music from WWF The Music 3. Severn tries some amateur wrestling stuff, which the crowd could care less about. Rock is over huge as a heel, and the crowd wakes up. Rocky gets his offense in, Severn makes the comeback, and the Nation distracts the referee long enough for D-Lo Brown to debut his chest protector with a frog splash on Severn for the Rocky win. This was there.

Rating: *1/2

Too Much v. Al Snow & Head
See, if Too Much wins, then Al Snow has to leave. Right. Dumb match, as Snow gets double-teamed (with Jerry Lawler doing reffing duties) for a few minutes, before Snow makes the tag to Head. Snow Plow to Scott Taylor, but Lawler gives Brian Christopher a bottle of Head & Shoulders, which Brian attaches to Head so he can pin it. As fun to watch as it sounds.

Rating: 1/2*

JR made the comment later in the show that the match set the business back 20 years, and it’s hard to argue. Amazingly, Too Much not only survived this match, but are currently YOUR tag team champs. Huh.

X-Pac v. Owen Hart
This was the final step down in the D-X feud for Owen — from Shawn to HHH to X-Pac. This was basically X-Pac’s comeback match after head injury #92984. They trade leg lariats after some initial feeling out, and it picks up a bit when they make it outside and X-Pac goes crashing into the timekeeper. Owen suplexes him onto the Spanish announce table for good measure. Back in the ring and X-Pac escapes a sleeper and hits the X-Factor, which was not yet established as a finisher. The Broncobuster is almost blocked by Owen, but X-Pac decides to ignore that and Owen is a good sport and sells it. Ending breaks down as Owen gets the Sharpshooter on X-Pac while Vader and Mark Henry fight outside the ring, allowing Chyna to DDT Owen for the X-Pac pin. I could have done without the massively overbooked ending, but it was a nice introduction to the “new” Sean Waltman after years of luchadorial conquests.

Rating: ***

WWF World tag team title: The New Age Outlaws v. The New Midnight Express
This is the only meeting on PPV between WWF and NWA World tag team champs. Road Dog is still working the kinks out of the catchphrase. Oddly, three of the four guys here would become legitimate singles contenders in the WWF later, and the fourth (Bart Gunn) would be had he not gotten knocked on his ass at WM15. The Smokin Gunns face off and do a nice little sequence, then Road Dog ends up playing Ricky Morton. Really good double-team stuff from the NME, but the crowd is not into this. But then the match was added at the last minute so there’s no angle here, which is a shame because it’s a fine match. Billy Gunn gets the hot tag and goes for the piledriver on Holly, but Cornette nails him with an NWA belt for a two count. Gunn comes back with a two of his own, and Cornette gets involved again, only to get nailed by Chyna. Took too long. The Outlaws go 2-on-1 on Holly and hit a double-team stungun for the pin to retain the titles. I liked this match even more this time around than I did the first time, oddly enough.

Rating: ***1/4

It was also the last good match the Outlaws had before descending into catchphrase hell as Road Dog woke up one morning and realized that they didn’t need to wrestle anymore.

King of the Ring: Ken Shamrock v. The Rock
HHH is doing color at ringside. They do a meaningless series of counters that ends with a Shamrock kick that sends Rocky running for the hills. Looked good, didn’t accomplish anything. We learn Chyna has joined the Spanish commentary team and in fact speaks Spanish. Back in the ring, and Rocky ends up going out of the ring again. he gets into a shoving match with HHH as he passes by, and Shamrock ambushes Rock from behind to trigger a brawl. HHH goes back to the commentary table and gets off his classic “testes…testes…1…2…3??” line. Back outside the ring again for more brawling. The Foley series taught Rock how to make that into an art form. Back in the ring and Rocky pulls out the neckbreaker and DDT for a two-count. Crowd starts with the “Rocky Sucks” stuff. People’s Elbow (not yet named) gets two, and only half the normal reaction…but the reaction was building at that point. Mundo resto from Rock. Layin’ The Smack Down DDT gets two, and Shamrock makes a brief comeback, and we do a double KO. Shamrock up and he snaps, dropkick, powerslam for two. Sloppy perfectplex gets two. Rock catches him with a powerslam of his own for two. Rock goes for another DDT but Shamrock counters with a northern lights suplex for two. Short arm clothesline from Rock for two. Shamrock with his own for two. Shamrock tries a rana but gets dropped on the top rope for two. Rocky argues with the ref, but that gives Shamrock time to recover, and when Rocky stands over him and trash-talks, Shammy rolls up and clamps on the anklelock for the tap-out. Solid match with a good, CLEAN ending.

Rating: ***1/4

Hell in a Cell II: Mankind v. The Undertaker
Mick noted in a later interview that his biggest mistake was asking Terry Funk for advice before this match. Funk’s wisdom: “Start on top of the cage”. So they do so, as Mick goads UT into climbing up the cage. It should be noted that all the squares of fencing on the top are loose, so it wasn’t just That One. So UT tosses Mick off the top of the cage onto the Spanish table, and to be brutally honest, it lacks the same impact as when you’re bombed and not expecting it. I mean, it was a nice bump and all, but there wasn’t anything to build up to it. And on second viewing, Mick guides himself down by holding onto the cage as he falls. I mean, for full points on the dive, you have to free fall. The judges at the Olympics wouldn’t allow a dive where the diver grabs the board to guide himself, would they? Anyway, all jesting aside…Terry Funk comes out to check on Mick and they stretcher him off, but Mick fights them off and climbs the cage again to a big pop. Then comes the next Holy Shit Bump, as UT gives Mick a half-assed chokeslam and Mick takes a bump sixteen feet through the cage to the mat below. UT goes for the ropewalk but Foley pushes him off and gives us the famous shot of the tooth sticking out of his nose as his mouth bleeds. They fight to the floor and UT rams the stairs into him. UT goes for a tope suicida but Mick ducks and UT hits the cage…and blades on-camera. D’Oh! Back in the ring and a Mankind piledriver on a chair gets two. Legdrop on a chair gets two. Double-arm DDT, and Mick rolls under the ring and retrieves his bag of thumbtacks. He puts the Mandible Claw on and UT drops him on the thumbtacks. Chokeslam on the thumbtacks. Tombstone finishes it. Okay, now for the major criticisms and why this is NOT a ****3/4 MOTYC.

The actual moves done between the bumps were not well executed. The chokeslam through the cage was sloppy, with Mick basically falling backwards. UT did a pretty perfunctory tope, and then made the rookie mistake of blading in clear view of the camera. That’s just sloppiness. Go back and watch Badd Blood (which is the next rant scheduled — patience, friends, patience) and compare with Shawn’s primo bladejob in mid-air.

There was only a few actual wrestling moves done — Legdrop, DDT, Mandible Claw, chokeslam, tombstone. UT-Shawn, the closest WWF match to compare with, had smaller bumps by Shawn, but more of them and more intense ones, with better wrestling and better brawling in between them.

The chokeslam bump was an accident.

Undertaker was working on a broken ankle and was very limited in his mobility.

Anyway, history has already judged this match as Match of the Year for 1998, but I thought Austin-Foley from Over the Edge was a better brawl, and Vince took just as good a bump at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Foley bumping does not a match make, it just makes more money for the hospitals.

My verdict: I’ll be more generous than Herb and go *, but the “Holy shit” factor from first watching it is totally gone after numerous replays have killed the uniqueness of the original viewing.

There you have it.

Main Event, First Blood, WWF Title: Steve Austin v. Kane
Since it’s physically impossible for Austin to make Kane bleed, the result wasn’t really in doubt, although the internet was in denial about that fact for the weeks leading up to it. Kane whoops Austin’s ass for a bit, and the cage mysteriously lowers. Kane whoops Austin’s ass some more, ramming him into the cage some more. See, now how is less of a good match than the UT-Foley one? Do the two bumps really add *** or so to it’s value? Anyway, Kane gets caught in the cage and it mysteriously starts to rise again. They brawl to the entranceway. Austin takes his patented “go for a piledriver but get backdropped” bump. They head back to the ring, then brawl back outside again. Hebner takes a weak bump on the floor and Kane tosses Austin back in and hits the flying clothesline. Austin comes back and stomps him. Man, Hebner must have had another aneurysm out there or something, he’s been out forever. Mankind runs in with a chair, and the cage lowers again as Mick take a Stunner for the company. Stunner on Kane. Undertaker gets last run-in honors, swinging at Mick with a chair but hitting Austin (who also blades on-camera) and the ref wakes up to see that Kane is the new WWF champion. It should be noted that Austin found not one, but TWO ways to job the title without actually, you know, jobbing, in the same year. The other being Breakdown with the double-chokeslam-double-pin ending. Match was absolutely nothing.

Rating: *1/2

Verdict:
Wildly divergent opinions on you-know-what aside, there was some really solid wrestling in the form of Rock-Shamrock and NAO-NME. Owen-XPac narrowly misses match of the night honors. And Foley-UT is really worth a look, if only to make your own judgment on it.

Recommended show.