The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.31.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.31.91

On the subject of the Mr. McMahon documentary, which will be out on Netflix by the time you’re reading this, I won’t be reviewing it for the blog because I’m already contracted to do a review for Inside the Ropes magazine. I think Miss Peacockery is going to take a swing at it when she gets a chance but she didn’t sound confident about her timeline. If any of the other regular writers want to take a shot and can do it in a more timely fashion, drop me a line and let me know.

Taped from the GLOBALDOME.

Your hosts are Scott Hudson & Craig Johnson, and it’s time for the SEMI-FINALS of the light heavyweight title tournament.

As always, the first 10 minutes are recapping the tournament so far.

Mike Davis joins Joe Pedicino, still doing his best Jake Roberts impression, and he’s got a partner for the tag team tournament but it’s none of our business. We’ll just have to “trust him”. There’s no way they could have known about that becoming Jake’s catchphrase when this was taped.

Lightheavyweight title tournament semi-finals: The Handsome Stranger v. The Lightning Kid

Kid offers some poses for the Stranger, although his muscles are not quite as impressive. I don’t think this Stranger kid is going to be able to make a career out of posing all the time, because although he’s buff, he needs to do some other stuff. The Stranger sends Kid to the apron and Kid is so offended that he decides to leave the tournament, but the Kid changes his mind and decides to continue out of spite. So we get a whole stalling session as Kid wanders the floor for a few minutes and then finally heads back in at 5:00 and walks into a clothesline from the Stranger. Kid takes a crazy bump off that and sells like he’s having a seizure, and we take a break. Back with Stranger working the arm and getting some near falls. Stranger with a dropkick for two. Kid fights back and the Stranger hits him with a press slam and a clothesline for two. Stranger finally misses a blind charge and Kid takes over while RASTA THE VOODOO MON comes down to observe. Kid works the arm and takes the Stranger down with a Fujiwara armbar as I’m assuming this Rasta cameo is setting up a Rasta the Voodoo Mon v. Handsome Stranger program and I’m there for it. Kid keeps working the arm but the Stranger comes back with more clotheslines, but misses another charge and Kid takes him down with a cross armbreaker this time. Stranger makes the ropes while Kid is busy kicking him in the head, kind of reminding me of Bryan Danielson’s submission style, but the Stranger comes back with a backdrop and dropkick as obviously the moveset was pretty limited at this point in his career. Powerslam gets two and he goes up, but Rasta uses the POWER OF VOODOO to bring him down against his will, and Kid finishes with a leg lariat at 12:30 to advance to the finals. Stranger pointing to his crotch in distress as if the ref is supposed to do something about it is the clear highlight here. The match was certainly not bad thanks to the Kid playing Ric Flair to Bagwell’s Lex Luger here, but every time the Stranger was on offense it was pretty embarrassing. **3/4.

THE NEWSROOM! WITH JOE PEDICINO!

Joe explains the rules of the tournament, with the coin toss gimmick being used again here for this one. Also Joe brings up the Great American Bash tour going on in WCW, where the big news is the feud between Missy Hyatt & Paul E. Dangerously apparently. Yup, no other big news going around Great American Bash 91 in WCW. Also we’ll soon be meeting a Canadian giant lumberjack in the GWF, who is into conserving wildlife instead of chopping it down. So he’s a lumberjack and he’s NOT OK?

Lightheavyweight title tournament semi-finals: Mike Davis v. Steve Simpson

This feels like a weird semi-final as neither guy really seems like a clear finalist choice, but I guess Simpson is fine to have around to do a job before the obvious finals. Steve works a headlock on the mat to start, but Davis keeps using the tights to reverse out. They do a criss-cross and Davis sends Simpson into the corner, but then makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence so he’s probably doing the job. Davis beats him down for two, but Simpson rolls him up for two as the announcers finally clarify that Shaun Simpson is actually around but couldn’t do the tournament due to illness. Davis controls with choking on the ropes and puts him down with an elbow as Simpson is just selling and selling and selling. Finally Davis misses a blind charge and Steve puts him down with a clothesline and goes up with a flying splash to finish out of nowhere at 6:56. They didn’t mesh at all. *1/4

Adrian Street talks with Joe about his frustrations as of late, and concludes there’s just something missing at the moment.

Christopher Love chats with Boni Blackstone, accusing her of being a man back in Atlanta. Boni: “I don’t think we’ll be getting any straight answers out of Christopher Love”.

Lightheavyweight title tournament semi-finals: John Tatum v. Jerry Lynn

This should get us to the obvious Lynn v. Kid finals next week. Lynn takes Tatum down with an armdrag after some standard stalling and complaining from Tatum. Clean-shaven and short-haired Lynn is the very definition of a babyface here, looking kind of like Mark Hamill. I’m kind of surprised he changed his look, actually. Tatum takes Lynn down with an armbar and a hairpull, and he clarifies for the referee that he didn’t do whatever he was accused of doing. Well that’s good. They exchange chops and Lynn tries a bodypress, but he misses and Tatum goes to a chinlock to slow it down even more. Tatum with a superkick to cut off Lynn’s comeback and we get some choking on the ropes before Tatum cuts off ANOTHER comeback with a clothesline. Lynn finally comes back with dropkicks, but the ref is bumped by an accidental superkick from Tatum, taking the best bump of the entire show so far. So another ref comes out and calls for the DQ, awarding the match to Jerry Lynn at 8:15. Well that was kind of bullshit. I don’t even think you can make the case for the superkick being intentional. As far as the match, Tatum completely gobbled Jerry Lynn here and gave him nothing outside of a couple of dropkicks late in the match. *.

And finally, the announcers try to talk with Rasta the Voodoo Mon to end the show, but he doesn’t talk, so they admit that it’s pretty awkward and wrap it up for the week.

Next week: The finals, with I’m assuming the Kid winning the coin toss and facing the winner of Jerry Lynn v. Steve Simpson for the title. The Kid match this week was the clear highlight, with the other two being really big disappointments, especially the Jerry Lynn match. However, either Kid or Lynn can win the tournament and it’s fine.