The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Wrestling’s Most Embarrassing Moments

(Originally written 06.20.25)

Amazingly we have managed to find ANOTHER Coliseum Video that I have never before reviewed in any form. I think maybe I was confusing it with Bloopers Bleeps and Bodyslams or something and that’s why I always assumed I had done it before.

Released late 1987-ish, because it’s got the weird spinning cube deal now.

Hosted by Mean Gene, who talks about how he just doesn’t make mistakes.

First up, we meet Ted Dibiase, who is booked for a squash with Chris Curtis, but he pays off another jobber to “sweat on his behalf” and face the “preliminary bum”. Yes he’s literally promoting bum fights here on TV. So he brings out “Mr. Washington” and gives the guy a big wad of cash, so the goober shoves the 5K into his trunks. So Curtis takes him down and chokes him out with a front facelock and chokes him out on the ropes, and a backbreaker finishes at 1:05. So Dibiase attacks Washington and goes into the tights to take his money back, which looks a little close to sexual assault for my liking. Hope that guy was wearing a cup because Dibiase looked like he was giving him a hernia exam there.

Meanwhile, we get some bloopers from Mean Gene and Lord Alfred, which contradicts Gene’s claims about never making mistakes.

Jesse Ventura v. Steve Lombardi

This is from an episode of TNT, as Vince shows footage of the match from Championship Wrestling. Jesse puts Steve down with a back elbow and then drops another elbow to finish him at 0:30 shown. So back at the studio Jesse insults Vince and Lord Alfred, and Alfred quips “Your hat…stupid” as his big burn. So Jesse counters that Hayes has herpes on his face.

WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage

Sure, let’s just throw a Hogan-Savage match on this thing. From MSG in 1985, as Hulk steals Macho’s glasses and chokes him out with the robe before slugging him down while clearly pretending to be an Outrunner. I hope my man Turbo Floyd sues his ass off! To the floor where Hogan the cheater runs Randy into the post headfirst, but we leave things off at 1:30 and move on.

From TNT, Vince is interviewing Fabulous Moolah on Halloween, as she’s dressed like a witch, and Alfred tells her to get on her broom and ride away, so she beats him down with the broom.

Next up, Hulk Hogan and his famous vitamin and protein shake recipe, as he pours his “Python pack” of pills into the shake because the pills will “keep you going all day long” and prevent you from “shrinking” in the gym. Not sure why they didn’t just play this segment in the Zahorian trial. Vince actually likes the taste of the shake, but Alfred runs off to barf it up.

Bruno Sammartino v. Superstar Billy Graham

A famous match from MSG as Gorilla Monsoon is the guest referee and finally puts his money where his mouth is, but ends up being horribly biased and stopping the match due to Graham bleeding too much.

Andre the Giant & Rocky Johnson v. Don Muraco & Big John Studd

This is from Philly, with Swede Hanson as the special ref, as he slams Muraco and Rocky gets the pin.

Hulk Hogan & Mean Gene v. Mr. Fuji & George Steele

Another famous match, from Minnesota, as Vince pretty much gives the middle finger to Verne with one match, which ends with Hulk slamming Gene onto Fuji for the pin.

And now some Vince bloopers from the Best of the WWF Volume 1 intro and he keeps losing his train of thought.

Hey, let’s check out some Terry Funk moments, as he spits tobacco juice at the camera, beats up an innocent ring attendant, and then faces Junkyard Dog on SNME. And THIS is the match they choose to show in its entirety instead of just clips? Anyway, Funk wins an OK match, but poor Jimmy Hart gets pantsed and branded by the Dog. Well I’m not here to kink shame.

More bloopers from Gene & Alfred.

Ted Dibiase needs a hotel room, so he stops by one he likes and bribes the desk clerk into giving him the honeymoon suite, even though a couple is already honeymooning there. This actually next level villainy, because he COULD have bribed the couple and got the room from them that way, and they would have probably appreciated making some money after their wedding. But instead he went the route of bribing the authority figure, thus showing that he COULD, and then making HER kick the couple out of their room and thus doing his dirty work. That’s actually incredibly well thought out for a silly pro wrestling angle. There’s just no way to look at Dibiase as anything but an absolutely cruel asshole in this scenario.

Ted Dibiase v. Leaping Lanny Poffo

From Wrestling Challenge, as Poffo reads a poem about honest work, but we don’t see the match. I’ll assume hard work triumphed over money here.

Andre the Giant v. The Black Demon

From way back in 1981 on Championship Wrestling, as Andre finishes the masked geek with a big boot in no time, but then he goes to sign some autographs and the Demon decides to attack him. So Andre doesn’t take well to that disrespect and tosses him aside, yanking the guy’s mask off in the process.

From Boston, as Hogan is facing Macho Man yet again and this time Adrian Adonis attacks while dressed in drag, and we get a heel beatdown until Hulk makes his own comeback and tears Adrian’s dress off. Poor Adrian was just trying to express himself.

More bloopers from Gene and Alfred, as Hayes has a cricket bat and Gene has a plunger and they go on a whole weird run about a cricket team.

From TNT, as Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff talk about the fallout from Wrestlemania, as Vince stirs the pot and Bobby digs his own grave by accidentally mentioning “meetings” that Paul wasn’t invited to. So Paul FIRES him and walks off. So then Bobby goes on a crazed rant after checking to make sure Paul can’t hear him.

Later on, we jump ahead 2 years, as Paul Orndorff is AGAIN managed by Bobby Heenan, and this time Bobby wants Paul to pay respects to Ravishing Rick Rude for having a better body, but Orndorff is sick and tired of lying to the people, and once again Bobby is FIRED. And now Paul is managed by Oliver Humperdink in a disaster of a pairing that went nowhere. I have a Mandela Effect thing where I keep recalling Orndorff reuniting with Heenan for the third time briefly on his way out of the promotion but I don’t think that’s real.

More with Vince trying to do the intro for the Best of the WWF, as he forgets his own name this time.

King Harley Race v. George Steele

Off to Boston for this one, as Gene declares the entire match to be one big embarrassment. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. Race beats on Steele in the corner and headbutts him in the gut to cut off a comeback, and then drops a knee for two. Steele tosses Race, however, and runs him into the post a few times. Back in, Race shakes that off and gets a low blow, but Steele shakes THAT off and bites the arm until they fight to the floor again. Race runs him into the post this time, so Steele tosses some chairs and assorted furniture into the ring, and Race uses one of them for the DQ. This was pretty terrible but “one big embarrassment” is kind of harsh. Neither guy really sold anything, though. ¼*

Mean Gene with more bloopers, as the camera loses control and he tells them to “go fuck yourselves” and everyone cracks up.

Dynamite Kid v. Nikolai Volkoff

From the Wrestling Classic, as Volkoff does the extended Russian anthem, and a bored Dynamite gets annoyed and dropkicks him for the pin to advance in the tournament.

Back in 1987, as Slick is ready to introduce Bam Bam Bigelow as his newest protégé, but Oliver Humperdink swoops in and actually has the contract himself. I still don’t get how the troll-like Humperdink was supposed to be a babyface. Also Bigelow calls Volkoff a “commie” which is pretty rich coming from a guy who used to be Crusher Yurkov.

From MSG, Rowdy Roddy Piper does a live Piper’s Pit and brings out a couple of fans from the audience as a warm up act for Bruno later on. He asks the woman if she wants to date him, but she declines, so Piper declares “she’s the kind of woman who wants to go eat and then go home to bed and sleep, which is why she loves Paul Orndorff”. Piper gets rid of her and asks the guy who his favorite wrestler is, and he says “Hulk Hogan” and Piper tells him to get lost. So then Bruno comes out for the main interview, and he’s not even thrilled about being there for this stupid Pit deal, and he wants Orton to get lost. So Piper sends Bob away and conducts the interview himself. “Garlic for lunch?” “You know why they call me the Living Legend? Because I met many big mouthed people and I shut them up.” Piper wants to know if Bruno thinks he could go with him, and Bruno notes “If you were around 15 years ago I would have squashed you like a grape” and then sending Piper flying with one shot. Piper calls him “a stupid wop” and then lays him out with a chair before tearing Bruno’s shirt off and beating him down for nuclear heat. Bruno makes his own comeback with the chair, but Orton saves Piper. This was GREAT and easily the best thing on the entire tape by far. You just wanted to see Bruno absolutely kick his ass after that.

Off to Boston for the next part, with Bruno & Orndorff v. Piper & Orton, as we join things with Piper’s trunks coming down on a sunset flip. Also that match ruled so I’m sad we didn’t get any more than that.

Meanwhile, Vince still can’t get the intro right.

Meanwhile, at Wrestlemania III, the Dream Team beats the Rougeaus via Dino Bravo, prompting Johnny V to leave Brutus in the ring and sink his whole meal ticket by going with Dino Bravo instead of Beefcake. This leads to an episode of WWF Superstars, where Brutus debuts the sleeper as his new finisher, beating Johnny V to get revenge and then cutting his hair off to become The Barber. That was actually a brilliant character makeover in retrospect that paid off a lot of subplots.

From the Slammys, Vince McMahon brings out Gorilla Monsoon for an award, and Gorilla has his fly open but recovers to help present an award to Roddy Piper. The trophy falls apart, so Piper declares “I DO PLAY SUN CITY!” and then tells Vince where to shove his trophy. Fair. So then Vince introduces the award for “Most Ignominious”, which only had one nominee, and in fact goes to Nikolai Volkoff as a result. Volkoff is delighted at winning “Best Singer”, but Vince has to explain what the award is actually for, and Nikolai is less excited at that. And then poor Jimmy Hart gets assaulted by JYD again to end the show.

Andre the Giant joins Jesse Ventura on the Body Shop, as Jesse spreads rumors that Andre is retired, and Andre hasn’t heard of those rumors. Andre clarifies that he was just on a world tour and hasn’t retired at all. In fact he weighs 520 pounds now. But then he puts his hands on Jesse’s scarf and the interview is OVER.

Ted Dibiase joins us again, for the famous basketball gag, where he brings out a kid and offers him some good money to bounce a ball 15 times and make $500. And Dibiase continues being a metaphor for life these days, as the kid bounces it 14 times and then Dibiase kicks the ball away and sends him packing. Is there any more succinct summation of the world than this segment?

And we finish with Gene going an anniversary episode of All American Wrestling, which prompts a crew member to bring out a cake and shove it in his face. And then he brings out his “mom” and quips that he developed bad habits because she nursed him for four years.

Aside from the fact that there wasn’t any particular rhyme or reason to the order of the segments, this was a really easy to watch 90 minutes. Wasn’t really any wrestling on the show but it was a solid tape and one of the better ones from this particular era of the Coliseum Videos.