The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Inside the WWF

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Inside the WWF

Originally written 09.05.25

Another one I’ve never covered somehow.

Released sometime in 1994, so this is firmly into the New Generation era.

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon, from the set of All American Wrestling. The current champions according to the set photos would be Bret Hart, the Quebecers and Razor Ramon, so we’re around May or June of 1994.

The Undertaker v. Crush

We’ve got Gorilla and Johnny Polo on commentary, and Polo calls him “The Underwear Taker”, being “led to the ring by a pasty faced tub of goo. Go ahead and tell him I said that, I’ll beat him up.” Also Bearer is “bad with schedules and itineraries” thus making him the worst manager in the WWF. This is truly a stinging look behind the curtain. Gorilla accuses Polo of being impotent, and Polo quips “That’s why I was wearing a tuxedo, because if you’re gonna be impotent you gotta look impo’tent!” That’s actually an old racist joke but Gorilla didn’t pick it up on here. They do the staredown and Taker necks Crush on the top rope and goes with the ropewalk on the way back into the ring. Crush superkicks him to the floor (“Why is that a reverse thrust kick and not a reverse crescent kick?” wonders Johnny. GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!) and beats on him with a chair. Gorilla critiques the referee job of Fonzie and Polo notes that he’s the worst referee in the WWF…besides Joey Marella. SILENCE from Gorilla before he recovers. OK well this was definitely before July of 1994 then. Taker misses a charge and Crush hits him with a backbreaker as I don’t know how Gorilla isn’t cracking up constantly thanks to Polo. Crush with the legdrop and he teases crushing Taker’s head, but Taker comes back with the clothesline, but he tries a tombstone and UT reverses to the real thing and pins him at 7:00. Match was nothing but the commentary was amazing. *

Meanwhile, Shawn Michaels and Diesel watch some tape and plan strategy, but Diesel kicks the camera out of the locker room.

Razor Ramon & Marty Jannetty v. Shawn Michaels & Diesel

So we’ve got Stan Lane and Ted Dibiase on commentary here, which has to be a step down from the first match. So we naturally start with Shawn v. Marty, but Shawn wants Diesel in there. Nash’s short hair and skinny arms puts this around summer of 1993. Diesel won’t even let Marty lock up and shoves him away, so it’s over to Razor. Both babyfaces have Lex Luger wristbands so this must be shortly before Summerslam. Diesel runs Razor into the corner and Shawn comes off the top with a bodypress, but Razor catches him and Marty comes in with a Doomsday Device for two. Marty works a headlock and slugs Shawn down for two before going back to the headlock again. But then Diesel yanks the hair from the apron and the heels go work on Jannetty. Diesel with a gut wrench and a backbreaker, and then he goes to the bearhug. I think they actually should have gone longer with Marty and Razor as a team, because Razor’s backstory was a former drug dealer and Marty was a user, so you could have a whole supper and demand deal going with them. Diesel drops Marty and hits him with a big boot, and it’s back to Shawn, but Marty fights him off and bulldogs him out of the corner to set up the HOT TAG to Razor. Ramon was a fantastic hot tag guy. Fallaway slam for Shawn and Stan declares a PIER SIX BRAWL as Razor chokeslams Shawn and pins him at 11:47. They kept it simple and it was really good. ***

WWF Studio Tour, with Johnny Polo. Unfortunately his keycard was reported stolen so the receptionist has to let him in. But he’s got all kinds of cool insider stuff to show us after the next match!

Tatanka v. Bam Bam Bigelow

Back with Gorilla and Polo on commentary here, as Tatanka attacks but gets caught from behind and stomped down. Tatanka keeps coming up on my recommended friends list on Facebook, and his profile photo is…not exactly up to date. Bigelow beats him down, but Tatanka fights back with chops and dodges a blind charge. He puts Bigelow down with clotheslines for two and gets a pretty nice DDT off a backdrop attempt. Tatanka to the top and he whiffs on a flying bodypress, allowing Bam Bam to take over with headbutts for two. He kicks Tatanka to the floor while Polo shares the wisdom of his mother, which is “Always kick them when they’re down” and “Anything that requires diligence and hard work isn’t worth doing.” Back in the ring after some stalling, Tatanka makes a comeback, but Bam Bam hits him with the shot to the jaw to put him down, while Polo tries to bait Gorilla into an “external occipital protuberance” reference and Gorilla won’t bite. Tatanka tries another comeback and Bam Bam catches him for a fireman’s carry and then blocks a sunset flip with his flaming ass. Bigelow with a running headbutt while Polo does a quality “reservations” pun and Bigelow hits the chinlock. I have no idea how Gorilla isn’t completely losing it. Polo keeps baiting Gorilla with jokes about Joey Marella and Gorilla won’t bite. Tatanka fights out of the chinlock and Polo is excited about the WARDANCE, but Bigelow hits him with the enzuigiri and NOW we get the external occipital protuberance. But Tatanka keeps coming and chops him down and out to the floor, where Tatanka hits him with the WIG WAM BOMB and wins by countout at 12:46. The match was good and the commentary was off the charts entertaining. ***1/4

Meanwhile, Gorilla presents a behind the scenes video of producing All American Wrestling.

Bret Hart v. Adam Bomb

Sadly Johnny Polo is managing here, so we’re back to Dibiase & Lane on commentary again. Polo: “I heard Bret Hart is a close personal friend of Ronald McDonald”. I mean, that feels really mean but I can’t figure out why. Bomb overpowers Bret and beats on him with the clubbing atomic forearms, but Bret hiptosses him and clotheslines him to the floor. Bomb fights back, but punches the post by mistake and Bret goes to work on him. So the question is, did Bomb gain his nuclear superpowers from eating the radioactive Walmart shrimp? Because that feels like a comic book supervillain origin waiting to happen. Bomb with a powerslam and he puts the boots to Bret in the corner, RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET, and Bret takes the Bret Hart Bump in the corner off that. Bomb chokes him out on the ropes and that gets two. Bret with a sunset flip for two, but Bomb beats him down again and puts him down with a sideslam for two. Bomb with the chinlock, but Bret bulldogs him out of the corner for two and adds the clothesline for two. Legsweep gets two. He goes up and misses the middle rope elbow, but Bomb chokes him down again and goes up to finish. But Bret was ACTING and pops up to slam Bomb off the top, and the Sharpshooter finishes at 11:30. A very cromulent match. **1/2

Meanwhile, Earthquake promises that he’ll be coming back soon to Coliseum Video! Spoiler: No he wasn’t.

Meanwhile, Johnny Polo isn’t holding his breath to see Earthquake again, and takes us on a tour of the tape library with John Arnold. Personally he doesn’t trust anyone with two first names. Me either. Oh wait. So Polo lets him start doing the tour and then starts the machine that closes the tape shelves together once he walks off. “He’s gonna get squished. Heh heh!” And then he leaves while we hear the screams of terror from the tape room. This whole deal is worth watching the tape for.

Randy Savage v. Doink the Clown

Yes, back to Gorilla and Polo! The color palette here is really testing my laptop screen. Joey Marella is the ref and Polo immediately starts burying him for some reason, really attacking him hard. Not sure why. And Gorilla usually hates referees and won’t join in for some reason! They tussle over the lockup and Doink misses a charge, before bailing to the floor and running away. Back in, they fight for the lockup again and Savage backdrops him to the floor again for a fight out there. Doink runs him into the post and comes off the top with a double axehandle, giving Macho a taste of his own medicine. Gorilla gives Polo some advice about how he’ll have to pay for all the bumps he took in the ring later on in life, and man that one proved prophetic for Levy. Doink chokes out Savage and chops him in the corner while Polo and Gorilla try to figure out Doink’s origin story. Could he be an escapee from an institute for the criminally insane? Savage tries going up and Doink nails him on the way down, RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET. Doink with the Whoopie Cushion, but that misses and Savage clotheslines him to the floor and follows with the double axehandle. But this brings the backup Doink out to switch under the ring, and Doink 2 attacks Savage from behind while Doink 1 holds the leg until Savage is counted out at 9:25. That was refereeing as terrible as advertised. **. So then Savage takes Doink 2 back to the dressing room and tells Marella to check under the ring, where they find the original Doink and thus the decision is reversed. Well now I can sleep at night.

Intercontinental title: Razor Ramon v. Ludvig Borga

They fight for the lockup and Borga tosses Razor to the floor. Back in, more power displayed from Finland and he grabs a headlock. They do the test of strength and Borga knees him RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET, and they fight to the apron and trade suplex attempts before Razor suplexes him into the ring again. But then Borga puts him down with a clothesline to take over again. Borga to the top with a clothesline for the apparent pin, but Razor’s foot is on the ropes and the ref changes his mind. So Borga hits a side slam for two as the match continues. Borga misses a charge and Razor suplexes him for two. They head to the top and Razor brings him down with a back suplex, but then the ref is bumped and Shawn Michaels runs in and hits Razor with the belt to knock him out. So Borga pins him…again…at 10:13 to win the title…again…only for a gaggle of other referees to run down and stooge out Borga, resulting in a reversed decision. OK, now to be fair, Borga wasn’t involved in the screwjob finish, as he was just as knocked out as Razor and happened to roll over and pin Razor. So that’s kind of a bullshit finish and Borga should have been champion. Also having Borga pin the guy TWICE is pretty wild. Match was dull and plodding. *

Meanwhile, Johnny crashes a segment with Lord Alfred Hayes doing a documentary on the battle of Waterloo. And he decides to take over the camera.

Meanwhile, Lex Luger tells us about training, and thinks everyone watching should do the same. That’s right, he got those muscles from “training”.

Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels v. Lex Luger

Damn this is an interesting tape. Lex overpowers Shawn, who bounces around the ring and out to the floor, and Lex works the arm. Shawn tries to slam out of it and Lex reverses to his own, and Shawn bumps to the floor again. Luger stupidly follows and Shawn attacks him from behind and runs him into the apron to take over, and you KNOW Lex goes AAAAAAAAUGH to that. Back in, Shawn works the back with a double axehandle for two and a back elbow and big AAAAAAAAAAUGH from Lex gets two. Shawn with the chinlock and Lex fights out of that, but Shawn puts him down with the superkick for two. Lex backdrops out of a piledriver attempt and dodges a blind charge to make the comeback. Powerslam gets two. Shawn gets hung up in the corner and Lex puts the boots to him, sending him flying to the floor. So Shawn grabs the belt and decides to call it a night at 9:00. So Lex blows ANOTHER title match and wins by countout. Does this guy not know how title matches work? Diesel tries to attack, but Lex loads up the forearm and knocks him out. **1/2

Meanwhile, Johnny Polo is in the master control of the studio, where Todd would host the Mania show.

WWF title, cage match: Yokozuna v. Bret Hart

Bret attacks at the bell and slugs away, then dodges an elbow and tries for a climb. Yoko pulls him down and slams him down again, but the Hulkbuster legdrop misses. Bret dropkicks him into the cage while Polo talks about the art of disguising yourself so you can cash cheques from other people when you’re a manager. Bret trips Yoko on the way to the door, so Yoko blatantly hits him low and it’s YAMBAG CITY. HE’S GOT A GROIN PULL THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. Yoko goes for the door, but he steps over the rope and Bret gives him the great equalizer right back. OK so they’re definitely even now. So the one time I got to hang out with the legendary Herb Kunze at the University of Alberta campus, we were watching compilation tapes and one of them had a house show feed of this cage match from another city. The guy who taped it gave it four stars, and Herb quipped that maybe he was just counting the number of ballshots. So far, he’s not wrong. Yoko keeps Bret from climbing out and beats him down before crawling for the door, but Bret makes the save. So Yoko sends him into the corner, but misses the running charge and Bret bulldogs him off the middle rope for a double down. Johnny stops to reminisce about Mr. Fuji and his tag team title runs while Bret dives for the dive, but Fuj holds the door shut. Bret fights him off and fights for the door again while Yoko holds his feet and then rams him into the mat. Bret fights him off, but he runs for the cage instead of going for the door, and Yoko is able to grab his foot and pull him back in again. And guess what, BAM, FOOTBALL TO THE GROIN. So Yoko goes to the door while Bret cradles his junk, but Bret pulls him back in and Yoko pulls the salt bucket into the ring. Bret puts him down again and once again fails to just walk out of the door, instead running Yoko into the cage and putting him down with a legsweep. Excedrin Headache #35! Apparently they still make Excedrin although I never see it anywhere. Yoko finds the bucket and they fight over that, with Bret knocking him down and out. Bret tries a pinfall and the ref decides to run in and count two for some reason. Just making up the roles as we go along now. Bret hits him with the bucket again and Yoko collapses at the door, but Fuji throws racist salt in Bret’s eyes, TWICE, and Yoko rolls out the door at 18:10 to retain. I dunno, I know this match has a really good reputation but I don’t see it. It was a fine cage match and nothing more. ***

But hey, this was a whole two hour tape of stuff that was brand new to me, and it was all either really good or saved by hilarious commentary, so this is a STRONG thumbs up and well worth checking out.