The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 05.13.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 05.13.26

Live from Asheville, NC

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Tommaso Ciampa, The Dogs & FTR v. Orange Cassidy, The Young Bucks & Cope & Christian

Orange trying to catch some of the cash from the Bucks’ entrance in his pockets is a good character touch. We get the 10 way slugfest to start and Dax puts Orange down with forearms and then gets into a hockey fight with Cope. Dax takes it to the top with Orange and brings him down with a superplex, allowing the heels to go to work in their corner. Dax misses a charge and hits the post bald-first, and that brings in Nick to clean house on the heels with superkicks. Bucks with the stereo bulldogs on the Dogs and the dive onto the FTR outside. Matt hits the Dogs with the northern lights suplex, but Stoke gets involved and the Bucks take care of him before chasing the other heels. Over to Christian, who casually kicks Cash in the nuts for two as we take a break. Back with Cage fighting out of the corner while Stoke joins us on commentary and claims Cage’s watch as his. Well, possession is 9/10^ths of the law, they say. Dax goes after the bad arm, but Christian gets a Killswitch for a double down and it’s hot tag Cope. He clears the ring and engages in some Bucks triple-teaming on Connors for two. Christian joins in on poor Clark and he hits FTR with a double DDT, which sets up a four way diving splash and Cope DDTs Connors for two. Christian uses Orange as a weapon and tosses him onto the pile outside, but Cope walks into the Shatter Machine for two. Everyone throws bombs in the ring until Clark Connors is the last man standing, but he spears Dax by mistake, and Cope joins the Bucks for a SUPERKICK PARTY, setting up the spear on Clark to finish at 16:23. Well this was clearly a PARTY MATCH to open the show with a bang. ****

Meanwhile, Will Ospreay continues his training with the Death Riders, as Moxley demonstrates how to torture Wheeler Yuta properly and then gives Ospreay a peptalk and some life advice.

Meanwhile, we take a look back at Stadium Stampede, and meet Team Ricochet, which now includes Andrade and the Dogs.

Speedball Mike Bailey v. Westbrook

So now they seem to be building up Speedball, and Kevin Knight is looking for a challenger at the PPV. Bailey catches Westbrook with the spinning kick in the corner and goes up with the 450 knees to finish at 1:10. And then we transition right into…

TNT title: Kevin Knight v. Brian Cage

I was wondering when he was coming back from injury! Cage catches Knight on a bodypress attempt and does some reps with him, but Knight escapes that. So Cage slams him and superkicks him instead and beats on him in the corner. Knight dropkicks him off the apron and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cage hitting a DDT for two, but Knight fights back with a springboard dropkick. Knight dropkicks him to the floor and follows with a dive, but Cage catches him, so Knight has to take him into the stairs with a rana and he follows with a clothesline off the apron. Back in, Cage with the suplex back into the ring, and that gets two. Speedball takes out Archer in the meantime and Knight DDTs Cage for two. Cage to the top and Knight tries a rana, but Cage powers him up into a powerbomb, which Knight reverses into a rana from the top, and then finishes with the UFO splash at 11:00. ***1/4. Afterwards, JetSpeed continues bonding as Knight expresses his disappointment at losing the World title match, but then Speedball goes and challenges the winner of the World title match tonight. And Knight throws some very subtle side-eye to him over that, which is the second show in a row where we’ve had some hints of a Knight heel turn.

Meanwhile, we get the announcement of the Owen Hart brackets, and the #1 theory about Ospreay v. Moxley won’t play out this year. Feels like Ospreay v. Swerve.

Will Ospreay v. Ace Austin

They trade takedowns to start and Austin gets a bridging deathlock to work on Ospreay’s neck, and then the press into the death valley driver for two as we take a break. Back with Will hitting a springboard forearm and a standing moonsault for two. Ace fights back, but Will hits him with the handspring kick to put him on the floor. Austin comes back with a slingshot into a bodypress on the floor, but he tries a handstand on the apron and Will kicks him in the face. Back in the ring, Will with the Ozcutter for two. He misses the Hidden Blade and Austin double stomps him and beats on him with corner clotheslines before flipping in from the apron with a headscissors. Ace escapes a Styles Clash and takes Will down with a pretzel cradle in a slick reversal, and that gets two. Flatliner gets two. Ace slugs away in the corner and dodges the Cheeky Nandos, but Ospreay hits him with a powerbomb for two. They trade strikes and the crowd actually boos Ace Austin, who has been having the match of his LIFE out there with Ospreay, and Will wins that striking battle but misses a charge. Austin hits him with a hooking kick out of the corner, but gets backdropped and hit with the Hidden Blade. Will sets up for another one but Austin drops down in pain, so Will kicks him in the arm and finishes with a cross armbreaker at 15:31 instead. I was waiting for him to pull out a Death Rider submission to win and he didn’t disappoint. They really need to do something with this Ace Austin kid, like send him to ROH and have him dominate there for a while so he can get some reps and big wins. ****1/2

Afterwards, Samoa Joe joins us and continues guilt-tripping Ospreay for not joining the Opps, and promises to make Will suffer in the first round of the Owen at Double or Nothing. But first, he sends Shibata and Bowens to teach him a lesson. But the Death Riders quickly save and chase them off.

Meanwhile, MJF accidentally mocks bald people with Don Callis standing right there, and then Andrade comes in and shows off his long flowing locks to really annoy MJF further.

Meanwhile, the Women’s Owen tournament brackets don’t look super interesting this year.

Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe returns to rejoin the Conglomeration and the word of the day is reunification as a result. And he very enthusiastically calls out Ciampa for next week’s Dynamite.

Thekla, Skye Blue & Julia Hart v. Hikaru Shida & The Brawling Birds

They brawl to start and the babyfaces throw punches on the heels around the ring, and Hayter chokes out Thekla in the corner. Skye and Windsor fight on the railing and the Birds drop her on the apron facefirst off that, but Thekla hits the Birds with a flying bodypress to the floor as we take a break. Back with Hayter getting triple-teamed in the Triangle corner, but she fights out and Shida comes in to clean house. She suplexes Julia into Thekla and that gets two. Thekla comes back with the spear on Shida for two, but Birds make the save. The Birds set up for the Hart Attack, but the heels break it up and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Thekla runs in with the title belt for the DQ at 10:00. Not a big fan of pulling out the super-rare DQ finishes in situations where they just don’t want to book a winner. They had lots of options for people who could have jobbed there, and that just felt lazy. **1/2

Meanwhile, we hear more about RUSH.

AEW World title: Darby Allin v. Konosuke Takeshita

Darby immediately hits Takeshita with a dive, but he’s hurting already and Takeshita blocks that and sends him out of the ring to further mess him up. Back in the ring, Takeshita takes him to the top, but Darby fights him off and tries a coffin splash, which Takeshita just shrugs off, and he puts Darby on the floor again and beats on him with knees. They fight over the stairs, but Takeshita charges and runs into them with his knee, which allows Darby to dropkick off the stairs to buy some time. So he keeps coming with a dive on Takeshita, but they fight to the apron and Takeshita hits him with an insane Blue Thunder Bomb off the apron as we take a break. Back with Darby trying a guillotine in the ring, but Takeshita powers him into the wheelbarrow suplex and follows with a running boot in the corner as Darby does a great job of selling like someone who is on the verge of death. To the top and Takeshita brings him down with a german suplex from the top, for two. And it was a bridged one! Power Drive knee gets two. So this brings El Clon to take the ref and Don gives Takeshita the diamond ring, but he has no interest in that kind of tomfoolery. Darby rolls him up for two, but Takeshita blasts him with an elbow to put him down again. To the top, but Darby brings him down with a Code Red and the Last Supper for two. Takeshita bails and Darby hits him with a coffin drop to the floor for a double down out there. Darby is about to beat the count, but Takeshita yanks him out by the foot and slams him into the railing. They head back to the stairs and Darby hits a Scorpion Death drop on those and follows with a coffin drop on the floor, and back in for two. Back to the top for another coffin drop, but that one hits knees and Takeshita follows with a knee strike. But Darby takes him down one more time for the Scorpion Deathlock and Takeshita teases the tap but makes it to the ropes. So Darby goes right up with another coffin drop, and one more to finish at 15:20 by the skin of his teeth. Incredible selling and storytelling here with Darby on the verge of falling apart but still winning top level matches. ****1/4

And then we move right into the contract signing, and Darby signs it right away but of course MJF wants to talk some shit first. Darby doesn’t care about legacy, only living in the moment, and he promises to make MJF a bald headed bitch. So MJF sigs the contract and attacks, laying him out with the diamond ring and then teasing a tombstone off the middle rope before Kevin Knight makes the save to end the show.

Holy crap if you want great wrestling on your TV show, this was the show for you! I’m really digging the Darby Allin storyline of someone just going out and taking on any challenger who wants a piece of him,and I think Ace Austin was the star of the show this week. Goddamn, between Varsho walking off the game with a grand slam and this one, it’s been a hell of a night for TV.