The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.18.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.18.26

Live from Fresno, CA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Bryan Danielson

Will Ospreay v. Blake Christian

Blake puts Will down after some shenanigans, but Will chops him down and sends him to the floor with a rana. Blake reverses into a splash out there and they head back in the ring, where Will comes back with a big boot to send him to the floor again before following with a dive. But then Blake fires back with his own dive, so Ospreay springboards into an elbow and then follows with a springboard clothesline in the ring for two. Blake hits him with a neckbreaker, however, and goes to work on that, which hardly seems sporting. Will fights back with an enzuigiri and backflip kick for two. Christian hits him with a DDT off the apron and to the floor, and back in with a handspring into a cutter for two. Will fights back, but he’s off his game and Blake hits a sliced bread for two. Blake tries his own Hidden Blade, but Ospreay hits him with a lariat and finishes with the real deal Hidden Blade at 7:54. Glad to see that they’re not ignoring the neck and he’s toning down a wee bit. ***. Afterwards, he calls out Moxley, noting that he doesn’t need a weapon and “can snap your neck with his bare fucking hands”, and that naturally prompts a brawl with the Death Riders that goes badly for Will as Pac puts him in the Brutalizer, and that’s not gonna be good for the neck injury.

Juice Robinson & Ace Austin v. Jon Moxley & Wheeler Yuta

So out of that brawl we bleed right into this one, as the Death Riders attack, but Juice slugs away on Yuta in the corner. So Moxley has to come in and take care of things himself, putting Juice down with a clothesline and beating him down on the mat. They trade chops and it’s over to Ace, who runs wild on both heels and tosses Moxley for a Fosbury Flop, but Yuta lays him out from behind as we take a break. Back with Moxley putting Austin in a cloverleaf, but Ace fights out and hits a spinning kick. But then Wheeler cuts him off from the tag until Austin fights him off and makes the hot tag to Juice. Juice unleashes the LEFT HAND OF GOD on Moxley and powerbombs Yuta for two. But then Ace goes up and misses his splash completely, and it’s back to Moxley. Yuta adds the busaiku knee and gets rid of Juice, and Moxley finishes Ace with the Death Rider at 11:09. Interesting match, kind of a style clash, but Ace Austin was showing a lot of fire before taking the loss.

Meanwhile, Kenny Omega challenges Swerve to a match where the winner becomes the #1 contender to the World title. I don’t think it was ever established that Swerve actually was the #1 contender.

Coffin Match: Darby Allin v. Gabe Kidd

Gabe meets him out in the parking lot and they brawl on the hood of Darby’s car, before Darby puts him out with an ether soaked rag and loads him in the trunk of the car for a little light kidnapping, and then flips his own car on a garbage pile and then loads Gabe’s lifeless body onto a cart before dragging him back to the arena. Well that’s a unique way to start a match. Also if I had a nickel for every angle this year where Darby Allin was involved in someone getting locked in the trunk of a car, I’d have two nickels. So they make it to ringside and the announcers wonder Darby doesn’t just toss him in the coffin and be done with it, but instead Darby straps him in a straitjacket and Gabe manages to fight him off and rams him into the stairs to buy some time. He slams Darby’s fingers in the coffin and we take a break. Back with Darby hitting a Code Red onto his skateboard and finally getting the straitjacket cinched on Kidd. Darby with the Scorpion Deathdrop, but Gabe manages to fight back with no hands and they fight to the floor. Darby blocks a trip to the coffin and they fight into the ring again, with Darby using his skateboard on the guy tied in a straitjacket, and then a pair of coffin drops to put Kidd on the floor, and a tope sends him backwards into the coffin and closes the lid at 10:09. I dunno, man, Gabe Kidd had to fight off a sociopathic Allin WHILE IN A STRAITJACKET and still nearly won the match a few times. That’s a tough son of a bitch. Plus if Darby had just thrown him into the coffin to start with instead of fucking around with the straitjacket, he would have saved himself a lot of trouble. I’d classify this one as “Not really my bag”. **1/2. Afterwards, Darby calls out MJF in psychotic tone while a guy in the audience holds up a sign that says “Go To Therapy”.

Meanwhile, Jungle Jack pulls up in the Jurassic Express bus and does a promo with the Young Bucks. Can a dinosaur even get a driver’s license?

Swerve Strickland joins us, and he’s intrigued by Kenny Omega’s offer of a match for the #1 contendership, but he wants Kenny to put his EVP status in exchange.

Meanwhile, Mike Bailey talks about idolizing Kenny Omega and also setting his sights on the AEW World title.

Mark Davis v. Speedball Mike Bailey

Davis is a bit perturbed about losing his title and he attacks, but Bailey hits him with kicks until Mark overpowers him and slams him for two. Bailey fights back with a missile dropkick and kicks him down for a standing shooting star that gets one. Davis bails to the floor and Bailey hits him with a moonsault as we take a break. Back with Bailey hitting a powerbomb out of the corner and he goes up with a shooting star press for two. Davis puts him down with a clothesline and loads up the lariat after a slapfight, but Bailey counters with a spinkick for a double down. Davis blasts him with a lariat and follows with a Razor’s Edge for two. Speedball with a backslide for two, but Davis lays him out with a lariat and hits the piledriver for two. Bailey with a rana for two and a moonsault kneedrop for two. Spinkick in the corner sets up the Ultimate Weapon kneedrop, and that finishes at 10:52. People bitch about Bailey for some reason but all he does is have great matches and Davis hung with him all the way here. ****

Meanwhile, a bloody MJF does his victory promo at Revolution, declares himself the greatest of all time, and books his trip to Disneyworld.

Meanwhile, Okada and RPG Vice send their love to Don Callis and make fun of Takeshita for shaking hands with Moxley.

No Holds Barred: Marina Shafir v. Mina Shirakawa

Toni Storm is out due to an attack that left her in a literal pool of blood in the dressing room, which TBS quickly cuts away from. Mina brings the barbed wire bat with her, but Marina beats her down anyway. Mina fights back with kicks and finds some champagne under the ring, but Marina lays her out again to block that. Marina hits her with judo throws as we take a break. Back with Mina knocking a champagne bottle out of Marina’s hands and DDTing her on a chair. Mina with a sling blade onto the chair for two. Mina tries a slingshot splash, but lands in the Mother’s Milk and she has to thumb the eyes to escape. They trade chops on the apron and Marina suplexes her through a table, slamming her head into the floor as a result. Back in the ring, that gets two. Mina grabs another bottle of bubbly and hits a Storm Zero, however, and that gets the upset pin at 11:00. This had some pretty rough moments but they were working hard. Took a long time to get the crowd into it, though. ***

Meanwhile, Andrade reluctantly accepts a payoff from Jon Cruz on behalf of MJF, while Don Callis does a promo via Facetime making it clear that they want Darby Allin taken out in exchange. That was a great sight gag.

The Young Bucks & Jungle Jack Perry v. Kazuchika Okada, Rocky Romero & Trent Beretta

Perry runs wild on Okada to start, but Trent and Rocky cut him off and double-team him until the Bucks make the save. Bucks clear the ring with double-teams and Perry moonsaults the pile. Back in the ring, the heels beat Jack down in the corner to cut him off as we take a break while Excalibur breathlessly reads off the card for Collision. Back with Nick getting double-teamed, but he fights back and Matt comes in with the rolling northern lights suplexes. And it’s a SUPERKICK PARTY to set up stereo Sharpshooters while Perry puts Okada in the Snare Trap. The heels escape that and Okada allows them to beat on Perry again and hit Strong Zero on Matt for two. Triple tombstones are reversed into triple cradles for two and they destroy Rocky and pin him with a BTE Trigger and running Perry knee to finish at 11:17. Well we all knew who was taking the pin in this one. Fun match, nothing earth-shattering. ***1/4

Afterwards, the Bucks talk about losing the tag team title match on Sunday with their family at ringside and fighting their way back to the top. But then Cope & Christian interrupt, as Adam talks about getting revenge for his wife and taking the AEW tag team titles from FTR at Dynasty in Vancouver. Well that’s not a very exciting angle to end the show with.

We had one great match this week but the rest of the show was very much just kind of…OK. Like what was up with the last minute Toni Storm bait and switch? Kind of a weak PPV followup, unfortunately.