3PW Mayhem 05/21/05

Previously In 3PW…

Pro Pain Pro Wrestling
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
New Alhambra Sports & Entertainment Center

Here it is, the missing 3PW show that sold so poorly on release it fit the criteria for being Lost Media. Luckily someone wouldn’t stop messaging The Blue Meanie about it and he obliged by uploading it to YouTube.
No wonder this show was so rare, it’s filmed by a company that isn’t Smart Mark Video so everything looks different. It’s shot on one handheld camera and without the brightness turned all the way up it looks very presentable. No commentary which means I’ll be paying the same amount of attention to it as usual.

The entire roster heads to the ring to pay tribute to the just-passed Chris Candido with a ten bell salute. It’s very respectful which isn’t always the case at The Arena.

Drew Blood vs. Kris Krude

Drew Blood was making a name for himself in PWU during this time and would be a decent mid-card guy for CZW after this. Krude is the re-named Cesar Smalls, aka the big fat stripper dude. Kris gets mad at a fan and yells “don’t call me Fat Albert, whiteboy.”

Kris does his usual schtick about demanding a beautiful, young woman spray his muscles but can’t find any so a lovely, old biddie will suffice. As a Northerner she would have been my first pick. They make the best scran. She indulges him so the crowd yell “she’s a crack whore” at someone’s Nana.

Both men start by posing on the top rope to see who has the most fans here tonight, with Kris requesting they stop doing that as he doesn’t have the stamina to keep going up top. Drew uses the speed advantage to land lots of shots but Kris won’t fall down. Devon Moore lands a missile dropkick but it merely staggers Kris until finally Drew breaths on him and he falls dramatically. Drew thinks he’s winning because he knocked over his big foe once but that only works on King Hippo so he runs right into a Samoan Drop. Kris misses a leg drop so Drew regains control, building to a spot where Kris gets stuck in the corner and Drew requests both the ref and Devon help pick him up like Winnie The Pooh’s arse out of Rabbit’s window. Kris thanks them for their help before avalanching Drew, who tries to schoolboy roll up Kris who instead sits on him. A flattened Drew then rolls up Kris anyway for two which got a loud laugh out of me. Drew attempts a choke but Kris lands a Rikishi Driver(!) to finish at 9:14.

Post-match, Devon saves his mate by attempting to chase off Kris with a chair but he is physically incapable of fitting underneath the bottom rope so Devon stomps at him before running away.

This was bad wrestling done well and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Teddy Fine (w/ Mike Brown and Melissa) vs. Ron Zombie

“Teddy Fine”? What for, did he pretend to be asleep when going through toll booths again? I’ve got nothing.

Crowd chants for Zombie but you can also hear someone yelling “he smells bad.” In fairness he looks like he hides his money at home by putting it under the soap. Teddy lands a Bubba Bomb as his first move before landing some dropkicks and yelling “‘c’mon!” to no-one in particular oh my god is he green. Mike Brown at ringside tries to throw Zombie back in but that bottom rope is really low down so the barely-visible Zombie also struggles to be shoved in. Zombie makes a comeback with an elevated reverse neckbreaker off the second rope before nearly losing Teddy on a front suplex. Teddy locks in a bearhug despite being a thin guy. Oh Christ, it’s because his name is Teddy isn’t it? I just realised that in real time typing this out. Urgh. I’m giving that a line break.

Teddy lands a Flatliner before a top rope splash ends it at 4:27. What, like that? They set up the ending sequence with a bearhug? I gave you fuckers a line break. Parsley The Lion wasn’t as green as Teddy was here. Or as annoying.

Dirk Ciglar & Sterling James Keenan vs. Damian Adams & Monsta Mack

The future Corey Graves yells at fans including the legendary tall deaf guy who used to sit front row dressed as Kane. Hope he’s still living his best life. Dirk made his debut at the last show and got upstaged by Rockin’ Rebel which is not a thing you ever want to hear said about you. Adams & Mack have been teaming for ages so the crowd respects them.

Keenan covers Dirk’s ears so he can’t hear the crowd’s insults. Aw. Feeling out process between Dirk and Damian is done well and it’s the first time on this show you feel like you’re watching proper wrestling. Mack hits a delayed suplex to a encouraging crowd. Keenan holds the top rope down so Adams eats shit on the outside, leading to Adams taking a beat down from both diddlers. Dirk looks much better this month, I assume Keenan is helping a lot as they follow classic tag team formula to the letter. Graves was always a student of the game so even at this early point of his career he knows when to cut off Adam and when to yell at ugly fans. Adams escapes a surfboard to hot tag in Mack who takes out both guys for ten seconds before somehow going under the bottom rope. How? Sky Low Low couldn’t get through that fucking gap unassisted. Dirk manages to land a second rope moonsault while holding one of the ropes which is a new one for me. An unimpressed Mack lariats the hell out of him before Adams’ Alabamma Slamma puts him away at 8:10. Solid stuff here, no complaints.

Josh Daniels vs. Devon Moore

I’m looking forward to watching Josh Daniels. Not really, I just wanted to be the first person to ever type that sentence.

Chris Blandoit works hammerlock variants while Devon asks the ref for help. Doesn’t take long for the crowd to turn on this, even with Josh making skinny Devon try to knock him down with shoulder tackles. Moore flies like the daft pleather wearing bugger that he is so Josh takes a powder. Yeah, protein powder you boring gym hound. Crowd don’t give him the expected coward reaction because he’s done nothing to get heel heat so they instead call the match boring. Josh strikes a charging Devon and he sells like he’s glitching out.

Josh ploddingly works over Devon as crowd chant “this match sucks.” Josh is trying to be a heel by using his superior wrestling skills to bully his opponent, but in Philly that just means you’re a wrestler. Hit him in the dick or something, c’mon. Josh has a “I’m so much better than this” look on his face that he doesn’t deserve but it does stay on him the whole time he’s applying holds. Moore wriggles out of the cobweb of dullness we’re all trapped in but fans aren’t buying him. A decent German Suplex gets two as does a stiff lariat but crowd aren’t even booing now. A jostle on the top rope leads to Moore landing a lovely moonsault for two with the crowd not even popping for *that*. Josh’s Dragon Suplex euthanises this match at 8:54.

Technically efficient but Josh gave the crowd absolutely zero reason to give a damn about any of it so they didn’t. Josh had toured for ZERO-ONE last year and mentally he was still there. Devon wasn’t particularly sympathetic because even in 2005 he looked and sounded like he’d go for your bag if you looked away for a second.

Simon Diamond and Talia head out for a promo in the ring, with Talia cockily informing the crowd that April Hunter won’t be in the main event tonight. Isn’t she heel? Isn’t Slyck heel? This brings out 3PW Champion Slyck Wagner Brown who is now face. Since when?? I don’t want to criticize a near-death indie from two decades ago but April and Slyck were the top heels at the previous two shows but I guess Simon being a heel to another heel has turned Slyck face. Whatever. Simon understands why Slyck is wearing shades inside a building because he’s looking at two stars. Crowd pops when Simon says he’s going to beat that massive head of his because Slyck does have a gigantic noggin. You can see homeless people looking for shelter underneath it.

Roadkill heads out to a Terry Funk-esque reaction. If Terry fucked sheep. He’s more of a horse guy. Crowd don’t pop for whatever Roadkill is saying but they get the hint that this should be a three way main event tonight instead of whatever was booked originally (I’m assuming Slyck vs. Simon vs. April Hunter). This meanders for a bit until 3PW Commissioner Michael Freedom makes it official. I take it Bill Apter has buggered off then. Everyone brawls until the midcard empties to separate them. This was a necessary segment if they had to change the advertised main event but it was all over the place like last night’s takeaway.

Greg Spitz vs. CJ O’Doyle

Spitz makes his entrance to Hysteria by Muse, making him the best thing on the show as I haven’t heard that song in forever. CJ is finally over as a midcard flag-waving Irishman. I’d love to see a heel Irishman doing the evil foreigner gimmick in America. “Stop calling yourself Irish when you’re ten generations removed from it! I’m more Irish then all of yous, I’m only five generations!”

CJ dares Spitz to start the brawl which the crowd appreciate, especially with Spitz taking a backdrop on the concrete. CJ then hip-tosses Spitz over the guard rail onto more concrete. Christ that’s even worse, that’s where the fans sit so it’s that dreaded smelly concrete you read about. And then Spitz takes a delayed suplex onto the concrete around the ring because he is really trying to impress here. Spitz finally blocks a stunner by holding onto the ropes and lands a flying calf kick for two. Russian Leg Sweep into a triangle hold instantly has the crowd chanting for CJ to make a comeback so well done. Spitz yells “The Knee!” and lands a knee for two. He’s a man of his word. Spitz converts a lariat into a STO to set up a Camel Clutch and again, he’s in the hold for a second and the crowd start chanting for CJ. Spitz sticks to being a dick until his springboard crossbody is kinda converted into a scoop slam but crowd are forgiving. In Philly! CJ tries the Three Amigos but the third suplex gets converted into a superkick and it’s only the third suplex that does damage, remember. So CJ does the rolling Germans and manages five funf because he’s feeling it. Top rope leg drop is dodged so Spitz goes up top to do the exact same. Crowd are now slapping the guard rails like ROH in support, and when CJ rolls up Spitz too far and ends up in the ropes so the ref doesn’t count, the crowd chants “Bullshit!” So CJ stands in the middle of the ring basically absorbing all the heat he’s getting and I can’t blame him. And then Spitz low blows him to set up a running “The Knee!” but CJ lariats him so hard he flips onto his own head for the win and a standing ovation at 10:35.

CJ spent all of 2003 and 2004 trying to get over with the fans and it finally worked in 2005 so I may be the only person to give a damn about these shows in 2026 so it was honestly kind of heart-warming seeing him succeed like this. Spitz meanwhile was bumping for ten men so this was pretty frigging great by the standards of 3PW midcard matches. Good job lads!

Oh then Spitz drags CJ into the ring with a strap to choke the hell out him like the San Antonio Spurs. Spitz demands a strap rematch next month and crowd are like “fuck you motherfucker actually that’ll probably be really good i’ll see you there.”

3PW Tag Team Title Battle Royal For The Vacant Titles

Amish Roadkill & The Blue Meanie vs. Dirk Ciglar & Sterling James Keenan vs. Damian Adams & Monsta Mack vs. Notorious Inc. (Devon Moore & Drew Blood) vs. Blackball’d (Greg Matthews & Rockin’ Rebel) vs. Kris Krude

The 3PW tradition of having people work multiple times a night because the roster is so thin. Staggered entrances, only one member has to be eliminated, last two teams wrestle a normal match. Got that?

Oh it’s worth mentioning the amazing lineage of the belts so far:

1. April Hunter & Slyk Wagner Brown won the belts in a battle royal.
2. Gary Wolfe & Mike Kruel defeated April Hunter & Slyk Wagner Brown.
3. Gary Wolfe left 3PW due to not being paid so Mike Kruel picked Simon Diamond as his new partner, and defeated Mack & Adams to establish this.
4. Mike Kruel left 3PW immediately after doing the previous thing.
5. Simon carried the belt around with him for a month before vacating.

Devon Moore & Drew Blood start off with Kris Krude who is so big he’s a one-man tag team and has the announcer say his “combined weight.” OK that’s pretty funny. Drew & Devon land enziguris but can’t get him over the top rope so he shoves them away and stacks them up like Scooby’s sandwich so he can drop an elbow. Crowd reacts like they’re watching footage of the Hindenburg for the first time.

BlackBall’d (Rockin’ Rebel and Greg Matthews) are next. Rebel is in great shape for some reason. When did that happen? He chops Krude’s folds before backdropping Moore ten feet into the air. BlackBall’d double big boot Krude to the mat and Greg teases falling over from the shock which pops the crowd. Hey look at Greg developing a personality after four years.

Ciglar & Keenan wander out, taking their time to get in the ring because they’re smart. Well Keenan is, Ciglar’s just obedient. Rebel crotches Keenan coming into the ring as the crowd go wild for Rebel. The cameraman tells Moore to stop being a pussy and get in the ring so he tells him “hey I’m working here” in a whiny voice.

The Salvation with Dr. Don Bootz head out which is hilarious as they’re not listed on cagematch as being in this match so I have no idea who they even are, two seconds.

OK they’re Judas Gray & JT Moses and they only teamed up in 2005. Judas was a local Pennsylvania guy who stuck around until 2017 and JT doesn’t have a cagematch profile. They look like goth Public Enemy. So basically Big Jay Oakerson. Action slows down because the ring is cramped.

Teddy Fine & Mike Brown (The Prime Time Players) are next and are also not listed on cagematch. I’m glad they’re here at this point in the match where the only thing people can do now is choking and punching because even they can’t fuck that up.

CJ & The Blue Meanie are next and again to show how obscure this show is, whoever reported it at the time confused CJ with Roadkill. The Amish, the Irish, what’s the difference? They both refer to people they don’t like as “English.” Stomping and stalling continues.

Mack & Adams (whose tag team name is apparently The Kings of Philadelphia) head out as everyone gangs up on Krude…who then farts and everyone backs off and some escape the ring to get away. Crowd applauds as Krude sprays deodorant. I laughed too hard at that, it must be the drugs. Spitz shows up to eliminate CJ and to brawl to the back with the fans voicing their displeasure. Meanie trying to catch up with them made up for him doing nothing tonight.

Krude’s deodorant is thrown outside so Krude eliminates himself. “The team of Kris Krude has been eliminated.”

Judas Gray (or JT Moses, I don’t know which is which) is eliminated when Devon ducks and holds the ropes down on a charge aka The Spot You See In Every Women’s Match In WWE For Some Reason. The Prime Time Players have also been eliminated but the cameraman didn’t catch it and no one cares anyway.

Rebel is thrown over the top rope but lands on the timekeeper’s table just so he could mess with Frank Talent. Dirk is choked over the ropes and dumped, with Moore being press slammed to the outside to leave just Blackball’d and The Kings of Philadelphia to face off in a normal tag match.

Wait not yet, Drew didn’t get the memo about having to leave when your partner is eliminated so he’s just hanging out in the ropes like Andre The Giant until both teams stare at each other until Rebel launches him to the floor. Vince should have done that when Sandman forgot his cue.

So NOW it’s a tag match with Rebel brawling around the outside while Greg lands a decent top rope elbow. Rebel hits a deliberately soft chair shot to the back of Adams head so it goes “bonk” and crowd laugh. Mack puts Greg through a table with his arse but he doesn’t have the energy to make the pin. Rebel piledrives Mack onto the already-broken table to win the titles at 21:20. Well done lads, now for the hard part: defending them at least once before vacating. Whole match and segment was inoffensive and had some dumb spots that were over.

Rebel then does his best to ruin the moment by saying “hey last time we held belts it was for…another company” but says this time it’s better because this company is going places. The company would fold a month later.

Oh wait, Jeremy Borash is here! Rebel asks him “OK what the fuck are you doing here?” which is what I was about to ask. He gets a decent amount of female fans screaming for him, hell yeah. Borash heels it up by reminding everyone TNA has a PPV this weekend “not that you would know about being on one of those” but wants to give us all a preview and out heads Abyss!

Fans Bring The Weapons

The Messiah vs. Abyss

How the hell they managed to get re-hooked up with TNA I do not know but God bless them for getting prime Abyss. For years this match being uploaded onto YouTube was the only proof this show was in fact filmed and released.

Messiah brings various objects with him in a bin. Abyss looks confused at all of them. Messiah tries taking it to Abyss but he looks confused so he relies on heading out the ring then attacking Abyss as he enters all vulnerable like. Messiah tries where you use the ropes to choke your foe like you’re about to give them a Reverse Frankensteiner but he ends up bonking his head and falling to the outside while pretending nothing happened. Some loud bin lid shots get the crowd back on his side, as does a golf club to the balls because the fans get to yell “fore!” Messiah jumps right into a chokeslam so Abyss uses his time to also break a keyboard over Messiah’s head with the keys flying everywhere. I hate seeing that now, I’d kill for one of those old grey keyboards with the gentle keys. Ref gets bumped (huh?) leading to Abyss kicking a chair into Messiah’s face. Abyss then breaks a toy ukulele over Messiah’s head and he gets busted open badly from that innocent looking shot. Messiah gets a sunset flip into a Boston Crab but his face is already completely covered in claret so Abyss takes it home with the Black Hole Slam at 5:15. Wasn’t much to this as Abyss worked as hard as the size of the crowd and I can’t blame him for doing the bare minimum when his schtick is landing on sharp objects. Crowd ate it up regardless.

Abyss heads to the back and when the camera goes back to Messiah, there’s an almost comedically large pool of blood underneath his head already. From that small toy??? Medics and Meanie head out to escort Messiah to the back as the crowd respectfully applauds. Well that escalated quickly.

Chris Sabin vs. James Storm

Wow, even more TNA stars! Crowd love ’em, even with Storm flipping everyone off and telling Deaf Kane Fan to suck his dick. Storm tries to heel it up by insinuating fans are here because they can’t get laid. “Go home and brush your tooth, fat boy!” It doesn’t work as the material ain’t great and he’s still a cool TNA guy.

Fast paced feeling out process blows away most of the action tonight so Storm threatens to leave once he hears cheers. Perfect Frankensteiner sends Storm to the outside to get mad again. Sabin busts out a springboard dropkick and prevents Storm from running away with a chinlock. Storm instinctively starts clapping to get the fans to cheer before remembering he’s a heel. Sabin realises they’re doing this wrong and takes a sweet German Suplex so Storm can take over and headbutt Sabin in his balls. Chops are traded but as Sabin attempts a crossbody he runs into Storm’s knee. Crowd chant “boring” as Storm’s heel act is just not vibing with them. Aeroplane Spin gets applause so Storm sends Sabin outside, causing fans to chant for the Kane guy. How is this match dying. Oh, Storm takes a suplex on the concrete. Mate are you trying or are you not because this match has been stop-start-stop-start. Sabin manages a suicide dive and decides this is his comeback time. Brainbuster looks to finish but Storm kicks out so Storm lands a Reverse Tornado DDT. Sabin’s running Tornado DDT also doesn’t end this as the crowd are booing the kick-outs now. Last Call Superkick sends Sabin outside so Storm has to spend time and energy rolling him back in which is good wrestling at last. Crowd greets it with chants of “we want Kane.” A chair shot can’t put Sabin away as a loud fan yells “c’mon try harder” so Sabin lands the Cradle Shock to put this to bed at 15:31. Storm then immediately grabs his cowboy hat and leaves while Sabin is celebrating, fucking hell.

Storm was someone who didn’t want to be there playing the role of someone who didn’t want to be there. For a guy regularly featured on PPV, his heel work was completely rubbish. I want to say Sabin did his best but he also gave off the impression that he was here to do the bare minimum but at least his minimum is still decent.

3PW Heavyweight Title Three Way Match

Slyck Wagner Brown (c) vs. Amish Roadkill vs. Simon Diamond (w/ Talia)

Slyck mouths off to fans on the way to the ring because he’s face. Oh wait he’s as announced as hailing from Boston so fans turn on him again. Bloody hell mate you’re like a revolving door. Simon gets sick of Slyck continuing to pose and tells the cameraman “Jesus Slyck, c’mon it’s nearly midnight. Taking as long as Boston between championships.”

Roadkill starts off by bouncing around Slyck while Simon oversells on the apron while Talia fans him. Roadkill is sent outside as Talia pulls the ropes and he proceeds to eat shit. Slyck then jumps off the apron to deliver a Frankensteiner on the floor like he’s a man half his size…and the cameraman misses it. Urgh.

Now that Roadkill is temporarily dead, Simon busts out the Simon Series but with a Northern Lights twist. Roadkill has to recover quick to ensure that it doesn’t end the match early. Roadkill misses a butt drop leading to double teaming and then arguing between the others on who can kick him harder and who should get the pin. Roadkill roadkills them both with clotheslines. Slyck locks in the hold Messiah was trying earlier and manages to execute it correctly so Slyck is like The Be Sharps: Bigger Than Jesus.

Victory Roll gets two on Roadkill but crowd are politely applauding. They sound tired. Roadkill assists Simon in landing Edge & Christian’s old Murderplex double team which gets a “Holy Shit” chant. The fans yearn for 1999 Smackdown. Roadkill heads up top but like last month, Simon shoves him off and through the announce table. Some guy actually yells “just like last month!” Slyck applies the Brock Lock on Simon who taps!

Oh it’s elimination rules. Slyck instantly tries to pin Roadkill but he kicks out, leading to the crowd to enthusiastically chant “you fuck sheep” to motivate their Amish king. Slyck nearly drops Roadkill on his head on a sidewalk slam but makes up for it with a textbook moonsault. Oh but then Simon runs back in to superkick Slyck so Roadkill can land the Barnburner and a top rope splash to finally win the title at 12:06 to blow the roof of the place. Match was not a patch on the singles matches Roadkill and Slyck had been having, they added Simon for the intrigue but he ain’t intriguing.

All the faces run in to celebrate and chant Roadkill’s name along with the crowd in a nice moment. It certainly didn’t feel like Roadkill finally overcame his foe considering Simon was the reason for the win but crowd just wanted to see Roadkill win the belt no matter what so they don’t care.

Slyck shakes Roadkill’s hand and they share a Coors Light together. Simon demands a beer because he’s “fuckin Irish.” Roadkill says he’s “fuckin Amish.” See, cagematch? There is a difference! Slyck joins in with “And I’m fucking Jamaican!” Roadkill says he’s keeping this quick and thanks every single person here. Even if the match didn’t deserve that climax, it was still a cool to see Philly fans be uncynical. And fuck it, I like Roadkill too.

Overall: What a kick in the balls for this show to be ‘lost’ for decades when there was so much good stuff on it. CJ being treated like family along with the reaction to Rebel, Roadkill and everyone else but the Storm match means this isn’t a bad way to spend three hours.

I’ve been Maffew and I’ll see for the raging climax next week.