WWF Survivor Series 1999 Review: A SmackDown Rewind Special

It turns out the hype on SmackDown has me intrigued with Survivor Series 1999, a show I’ve never watched but sounds mostly horrible. I’m not promising I’m going to do every PPV that falls on the SmackDown Rewind road, but let’s try this one.

Our opening package – great as usual for the time – looks at the road to HHH vs Austin vs Rock. Tonight, they’ll face off for Triple H’s WWF Title.

Pyro! More pyro! We’re live at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan, for the 13th Survivor Series. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary tonight.

4-on-4 Elimination Match: The Godfather, D’Lo Brown and The Headbangers (Mosh & Thrasher) vs The Acolytes (Faarooq & Bradshaw) and The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley)

Howard Finkel is our ring announcer. Godfather asks the crowd for the location of other pimps in the vicinity and suggests smoking the devil’s lettuce. D’Lo, Mosh and Thrasher have Godfather-style gear and enter to his music as well, the Headbangers adding afros as well. Bubba Ray stutters to ask if Godfather will be offering them the women, Godfather mocks the stutter to say no.

Mosh and Bubba Ray start things out, Bubba snatching Mosh’s wig. Mosh hits a few armdrags on Bubba and then turns around into a clothesline. D-Von tags in as does Thrasher, Lawler unable to move past the wigs. Bradshaw tags in and beats the wig off Thrasher, nailing a Clothesline from Hell. Bradshaw pins and eliminates Thrasher. Mosh leaps onto Bradshaw. Faarooq is tagged in but can’t get a handle on Mosh, tagging in D-Von. 18,735 is tonight’s attendance, a sold out crowd. Bubba tags himself in and they hit a 3D on Thrasher. Bubba Ray pins and eliminates Mosh.

D’Lo is in and slams Bubba, waking the crowd up with a “D’Lo” chant. D’Lo knocks Bradshaw off the apron, Bradshaw grabs a chair and runs in to knock D’Lo over the head with it and then smashes Bubba too. Bradshaw is disqualified and eliminated. D’Von tries to cover D’Lo, Faarooq comes in to argue and try his own cover. Faarooq and D-Von brawl outside long enough to be out. Faarooq and D-Von Dudley are counted out and eliminated.

It’s down to Bubba on the heel side. D’Lo hits a nice Sky High on Bubba for a two count. Bubba counters D’Lo into a powerbomb off the top rope but can only recover for a two count. Godfather gets the tag and unloads on Bubba, dropping a leg drop and hitting the Ho Train, tagging in D’Lo for a frog splash and a pin. D’Lo Brown pins and eliminates Bubba Ray Dudley.

The Godfather and D’Lo Brown are survivors. This was fine as an opening match; the crowd got into things as it went on. This set up some stuff for the Acolytes and Dudleys and D’Lo especially came out of it looking good.

A vignette looks at the collegiate and Olympic career of Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs Shawn Stasiak

Shawn Stasiak gets no reception during his entrance, something that won’t really change as time goes on. We look at some footage of Stan Stasiak. Fink gives Kurt an extended entrance and Kurt arrives to what we’ll eventually know as “Medal” but at the time knew as The Patriot’s theme song. He gets no reception either, but I think fans will catch on to the possibilities with his theme song. Angle and Stasiak trade holds, Angle getting a front face lock as JR tells us that this is a different style of wrestling than we’re used to seeing. The fans chant for the Red Wings who are not in this match. Angle gets a nice slam and a beautiful suplex. Angle hits a clothesline and goes out for the mic. “You do NOT boo an Olympic Gold Medalist! I’m the best in the world, I came here for you.” The fans are more into the Red Wings, chanting for them again. Angle gets a power slam, Stasiak grabs him for a brain buster. Stasiak misses a dive from the top, Angle hits his first of many Angle Slams for the pin.

Kurt Angle pins Shawn Stasiak. The crowd didn’t really care about this because they didn’t know Kurt or care about Stasiak, but things will change rapidly for Kurt. Nothing great, but you can see that Kurt’s pretty good at this.

Earlier tonight on Heat, DX tries to attack Rock and Austin.

4-on-4 Elimination Match: WWF European Champion British Bulldog and The Mean Street Posse (Joey Abs, Rodney & Pete Gas) vs Val Venis, Steve Blackman, Gangrel and Mark Henry

Why would Blackman and Gangrel be hanging out with Val and Mark, you ask? You’re asking too many questions. JR, trying to figure out why they are teaming: “I’m sure that all four of these men are heterosexual and love the ladies, King.” Venis starts with Bulldog as JR wonders about Bulldog’s memories of the 1997 Series. Bulldog tags in Pete Gas who stomps at Val. Gas catapults Val into the turnbuckle and suplexes him for a two count. Venis splashes Gas, hits a bulldog and tags in Blackman. This doesn’t end well for Gas as Blackman hits a running kick for the pin. Steve Blackman pins and eliminates Pete Gas. Rodney is in next, being chopped down by Blackman. Gangrel tags in and is rolled up for a two by Rodney. The rally doesn’t last as Gangrel hits the Impaler to pin Rodney. Gangrel pins and eliminates Rodney.

Joey Abs is next, suplexing Gangrel. Henry tags in and splashes Joey Abs as JR wonders what kind of addiction Mark Henry is going through for his sex addiction, showing that JR does not watch the show. Mark Henry pins and eliminates Joey Abs. Bulldog knocks Gangrel off the top rope and superplexes him for the pin. British Bulldog pins and eliminates Gangrel. Blackman comes in with chops and misses a headbutt from the second rope. Bulldog grabs Blackman for a fisherman’s suplex and the pin. British Bulldog pins and eliminates Steve Blackman. Bulldog rolls up Venis, Henry breaks the pin. Bulldog tries to fight off both men. Bulldog splashes Bulldog in the corner and slams him, Venis gets the Money Shot for the pin. Val Venis pins and eliminates British Bulldog.

Val Venis and Mark Henry are the survivors. This was mostly heatless and not good, which is something you should expect from a match with the British Bulldog in his jeans era and the Mean Street Posse in any era. Not good.

Michael Cole marches into the women’s dressing room to ask questions, not knocking or anything. Ivory tells him to come back after the match.

WWF Hall of Famer Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Tori and Debra vs WWF Women’s Champion Ivory, Terri, Luna and Jaqueline

Don’t try to figure out why any of these women have decided to team together. This is one fall because we’re not stretching this to an elimination match. Lawler pulls out the r-slur for Kane as he talks about Tori before losing his mind as Debra enters. Moolah attacks Ivory upon entrance and we’re off with a brawl. Luna fights with Mae Young. The fans chant in support of the Michigan Humane Society as Moolah slams Ivory. Moolah and Mae hit a tragic double clothesline and Mae gets the pin. All the women brawl, Lawler yells for bras and panties, and that was a thing that happened. Ivory brawls with Moolah and Mae after the match.

Fabulous Moolah pins Ivory. Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Tori & Debra defeat Ivory, Terri, Luna, and Jacqueline. This lasted under two minutes and that might’ve been too long. Might’ve been able to pull something out of it if some combo of Ivory, Tori, Luna, and Jacqueline faced each other but we never got there.

Lilian Garcia talks with X-Pac. He says he has nothing to prove against Kane, calls him impotent and says to bring it on.

X-Pac vs Kane

Tori is not with Kane, no doubt exhausted from not being tagged in during the prior match. Kane attacks first during Kane’s pyro, hitting corner kicks on Kane before turning around into a clothesline. Kane is dropkicked to the floor. Lawler wonders about Kane’s pent-up sexual frustrations as X-Pac attacks in the corner. He tries for a Bronco Buster but leaps into a choke. Kane boots X-Pac and hits his top rope clothesline. Kane nails a clothesline when Road Dogg appears to pull Kane out of the ring. After Kane goes after Road Dogg, he comes in and X-Pac gets the X-Factor for a two. X-Pac leaps into Kane’s arms from the top rope and goes a Tombstone, Triple H appearing to hit Kane with the belt for the disqualification. Tori runs out to try to stop X-Pac from the Bronco Buster and X-Pac spins around and nails her with a spin kick. The EMT squad head out to help Tori.

Kane defeats X-Pac by disqualification. A decent enough match and the Tori thing is probably going to deliver some good story stuff.

Michael Cole is with The Rock. Triple H interrupts and shoves Rock, they brawl a bit until the ref squad breaks them up.

4-on-1 Elimination Match: Big Boss Man, Prince Albert, Mideon and Viscera vs The Big Show

Here’s a look at Big Show destroying his assigned partners of Blue Meanie and Kaientai, preferring to do this alone. Sorry, Meanie. Show runs in angrily. Mideon is choke slammed. Big Show pins and eliminates Mideon. Prince Albert gets one. Big Show pins and eliminates Prince Albert. Show body slams Viscera which is wild and chokeslams him. Big Show pins and eliminates Viscera. That leaves the Big Boss Man who chooses to wave and leave. Big Boss Man is counted out and eliminated.

The Big Show is the sole survivor. This was all angle but kind of fun, especially the Viscera stuff. Yes, I said Viscera stuff was fun.

Kevin Kelly is with Stone Cold Steve Austin who is also attacked by Triple H. Austin chases HHH into the parking lot as we see a set of headlights illuminate and the car run through a fence and running over Austin. Oh the horror. We cut back to see Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Shane McMahon and Test running out yelling for help. As the EMTs work on Austin, McMahon yells at head of security Jim Dotson. Jim Ross comes out as does Triple H and DX, Vince yelling at them. “That’s not stuff we do,” yells Triple H. An EMT asks Stone Cold if he hurts anywhere as if he didn’t just get hit by a car. Who hit Stone Cold? I’m sure we’ll never find out but perhaps it can be figured out over the course of the next year.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna (with Miss Kitty) vs Chris Jericho

Jericho gets the biggest ovation of the night thus far. Jericho shoves Kitty and fights outside with Chyna. Jericho ducks a clothesline and crotch kicks Chyna. She no-sells it and ranas Jericho. JR apologizes for not having enthusiasm during this as Jericho leaps off the top onto Chyna on the outside. Chyna is tossed over the announce table and dumps a bottle of Dasani over Chyna. Chyna pulls the padding off the security barrier and runs Chyna into it, something that I thought was a cool spot until they did it two shows in a row. Back in, Jericho dropkicks Chyna from the top for a two.. Something I’ll note here is the amount of ringside photographers – at least six of them – which is a relic from another time. Chyna cradles Jericho for a two.

Jericho taunts Kitty and this is dragging along a bit. Jericho nails a spinning heel kick and clotheslines Chyna back outside of the ring. Jericho grabs Kitty and forces a kiss on her before going on to stomp Chyna. Kitty jumps on Jericho’s back and he slings her off, turning around into a spear by Chyna. Chyna tosses Jericho into the ring post. In the ring, Jericho powerbombs Chyna but can only get a two count. Chyna rolls away from a Lionsault and elbows Jericho down, then hits a springboard elbow and a DDT for a near fall. Jericho gets the belt and nails Chyna, covering Chyna but only getting a two count. Chyna kicks and Pedigrees Jericho, Jericho kicks out. Chyna tries to rana Jericho, Jericho counters it into the Walls of Jericho. She’s able to get the rope break which Jericho argues with the referee. The fans are solidly behind Jericho. He sets Chyna up on the top rope and Kitty distracts Earl Hebner, letting Chyna low bow Jericho. She climbs up and hits a Pedigree (of sorts) from the top rope for the pin.

Chyna pins Chris Jericho to retain the WWF Intercontinental Title. This was fine. As far as everything else on this show thus far, this was great. In reality Jericho worked pretty well with Chyna and she was game. It’s not a five-star classic, but I thought it was pretty good and the signs of how popular Jericho was going to be were showing already.

Triple H and X-Pac come into the McMahon locker room to talk to Vince who has gone to the hospital. HHH says hit and run is bad and a tragedy and they had nothing to do with it. HHH assumes this makes it a singles match, Shane tells him to get out.

4-on-4 Elimination Match: Hardcore & Crash Holly and Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay & Scotty 2 Hotty) vs Edge & Christian and The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy with Terri Runnels)

Edge and Christian especially get a good pop. Terri is thankfully able to manage here after that tough match earlier. Edge and Scotty start things off, trading blows. JR tells us he is not into this match either as he is thinking about his good friend Stone Cold. Edge runs into a spin and Crash tags in. Matt and Edge slam Crash down. Matt crotches Crash on the rope and knocks him out, then crossbodies onto him. Sexay powerbombs Matt off the apron, Christian leaps on Sexay, Scotty leaps on Christian, and Hardcore breaks it all up by attacking Jeff… until Jeff leaps over him onto the pile. Edge pulls Hardcore outside and it’s chaos in Detroit. Sexay puts on the goggles and is tossed right into a cameraman. In all of this, Hardcore Holly pins and eliminates Edge.

Scotty leaps with a DDT on Matt. Scotty 2 Hotty pins and eliminates Matt Hardy. Jeff rolls up Scotty, Scotty gets a worm on Jeff and tags in Sexay. Too Cool tandem powerbomb Jeffrey and Sexay gets a two count. JR and Lawler argue about which one is using more outdated terminology as we have slowed to a halt. Jeff flips onto Scotty and Jeff Hardy pins and elimimates Scotty 2 Hotty. Jeff and Christian slam Crash. Grandmaster Sexay pins and eliminates Jeff Hardy. Christian pins and eliminates Grandmaster Sexay. Hardcore and Crash double-team for a bit and this is getting slow for the men involved. Christian tosses Hardcore and hits an Unprettier on Crash. Christian pins and eliminates Crash Holly. Down to two. Hardcore tosses Crash out of the ring and reverses Christian’s victory roll attempt. Hardcore Holly pins and eliminates Christian.

Hardcore Holly is the sole survivor. This started hot and hit a LULL and never really recovered. It started as something I thought would be the best thing on the slow and then just died a slow death.

Shane, Test and Stephanie are talking. Shane says that Stone Cold did not lose consciousness but has suffered head, neck and back trauma. Shane tells us the triple threat is still on but without Stone Cold’s participation.

WWF World Tag Team Championship: WWF World Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws (Mr. Ass & Road Dogg) vs Al Snow and Mankind (with Head)

Head returned on SmackDown, something I missed in all the other stuff going on. This is a rematch of Monday’s match that saw the Outlaws regain the tag titles from Mankind and Snow. Lawler questions who was driving the car as we haven’t seen Mr. Ass all day. Perhaps a commissioner will research further. Mankind grabs a mic and says that Austin is a tough son of a bitch and when this is over, they’ll be thinking of him but right now they’re thinking about Ass and Road Dogg. Ass and Mankind start if off and the fans chant for Head. Dogg accidentally hits Ass in an attempt to hit Mankind as JR is back to talking about Stone Cold.

Snow and Dogg tag in. Snow gets a good suplex for a two count and Mankind tags back in and the fans, again, are kind of out of it all. I wonder how much of it was boredom and how much was being annoyed that Stone Cold was written out of the show they’re attending. Mankind smacks Dogg with a chair on the outside and the Lawler/Ross bickering has gotten old as has this match. Mankind covers for a two and tags in Snow as we’ve had an extended session of Road Dogg getting beaten down. Dogg hits his jabs and tries to get a tag, Mankind breaking the attempt. All four men brawl and Ass drops Snow on the announce table. Ass beats over Snow for a bit before Dogg tags back in. Brawl brawl brawl, Ass sneaks in for a Fameasser to give Dogg a two count. Mankind hits a suplex, Snow hits a Snow Plow and Mankind loads up Socko on Ass. Dogg saves him and Snow nails Ass with Head, Mankind covering for a two count. Dogg trips Mankind and the Outlaws hit him with a spike piledriver.

Mr. Ass pins Mankind, The New Age Outlaws defeat Mankind and Al Snow to retain the WWF World Tag Team Titles. Well, this was slow and plodding and the most boring thing on the show. At least we went a show without a tag title change. Can we make it an entire week? Tune in to Raw to find out!

JR and King run down the situation and that Austin is out and Vince isn’t here to be guest referee as he’s at the local medical center. We replay the wreck as King suggests that it is a blonde person driving.

WWF Title Triple Threat Match: WWF Champion Triple H vs The Rock vs The Big Show

Big Show gets a pretty good response. Earl Hebner is our referee, Lawler of course remember the Survivor Series from two years ago. Rock and HHH double-team Show to start, Show clotheslining and headbutting them both. Rock breaks a chokeslam attempt and we brawl outside as we tend to do in these main event situations. Rock drops HHH on the barricade, Show boots Rock down. Show chokes HHH in the corner with the boot and misses an elbow. Rock takes down Show and tosses HHH outside, setting up the People’s Elbow successfully before HHH breaks the pin.

The trio brawl to the entrance set. Rock bounces HHH through the tech table and then off the metal set pieces. Rock takes a fire extinguisher to Show’s head and suplexes HHH on the floor. Show tries to chokeslam Rock and HHH breaks it with a crotch shot. Lots of brawling stuff here but the fans are into it. Rock hits Show with the bell. HHH tries to suplex Show, Rock joins in and they suplex Show through the Spanish Announce Table. With Show out, HHH and Rock brawl into the crowd and back to the ring.

HHH accidentally whips Rock into Earl Hebner and now we’re without a referee. HHH tries for a Pedigree, Rock counters and slings HHH into the turnbuckle and hits a Rock Bottom. Rock covers and there is nobody to count. Shane McMahon runs out in a ref shirt and counts two. HHH walks into another Rock Bottom and Shane counts, Show pulling him outside. Show goes for HHH and then heads back out for Rock, whipping him into the steel steps. HHH has the title and Shane pulls it away, so HHH Pedigrees Shane. We are again without a ref. Rock runs in to DDT HHH, Show takes Rock down and elbows HHH. DX runs out to help their buddy and out marches WWF Chairman Vince McMahon. Vince grabs the belt and swings at HHH, HHH ducking and turning around to be hit by the belt anyway. Show chokeslams and Vince counts the three. We have a new WWF Champion.

Big Show pins Triple H to become the new WWF Champion. This was mostly just an Attitude Era main event brawl which wasn’t great, but the crowd dug it. It didn’t do much for me. I did like the ending and good for Show.

Show cries and hugs his new title, drooling on it and all. JR tells us that this is for Show’s father and we end with Show celebrating.

I’m mostly sorry that I let the last few SmackDowns convince me to watch this, even though I knew it was not a good show. It wasn’t! Some things were plain bad – the women’s match and the Posse match. Some things were surprisingly boring – mostly the tag teams in the elimination match. Chyna/Jericho was fine and the main event was what it was. There’s nothing here I particularly recommend you go out of your way to watch.

Thursday, we see how all of this affects the scene on the next edition of the SmackDown Rewind.