The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.09.00

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.09.00

Vince Russo update: He’s basically out the door at this point, with the Bischoff group led by Mandalay Bay Entertainment favored to buy the company and run it out of Las Vegas. Russo didn’t make the trip to Australia, leaving the Rooster and his cronies in charge (kind of) and then also didn’t return to the office once they got back from the trip.

Live (on tape from 10.07.00) from Brisbane, Australia, drawing 9000 for a sold show and the usual anemic rating from this time. Tony claims “14,000” fans, but the arena certainly does look full at least.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden & Stevie Ray

Jeff Jarrett shows up in the parking lot, dressed like surfer Sting and doing a pretty convincing job of looking like him.

Elix Skipper v. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Really clumsy music overdubbing here, with Skipper’s theme replaced by super generic music that drowns out the crowd and ring announcer as well. They trade takedowns and Skipper hits him with a spinkick and sends him to the floor. Back in, a moonsault misses and Rey hits a springboard legdrop for two. “That’s a finish, Tony!” notes Stevie, although it literally isn’t. Springboard moonsault gets two. Skipper sends him to the floor again and back in for a back suplex as Madden wants to know if Tigress met Rey on his paper route. Stevie: “Men don’t need the women out here while they’re trying to work and earn money!” They slug it out and Skipper bumps to the floor as this is taking its time to get going, but Rey hits him with a somersault senton. Back in, Skipper misses a springboard splash and Rey follows with the broncobuster, but then Torrie comes out of the crowd and attacks Tigress on commentary. This gets Rey all distracted, thus proving Stevie’s point from earlier, and Skipper finishes with the Play of the Day at 6:00. An OK opener that had a lot of rough spots. **

Meanwhile, Shane Douglas meets up with the Boogie Knights for some reason.

The Natural Born Thrillers join us as Stevie clarifies that Reno isn’t here because he’s too much of a criminal even for Australia. So Sanders, who is now the Commissioner in place of Russo, books a “Down Underwear” match between Tigress & Torrie Wilson for tonight. So then the Cat comes out as we continue this stupid dueling commissioner nonsense, and he wants to team up with Sanders to give everyone a great show. And to celebrate, he brings out the MIA to party with him. So Cat pretends to dance and then attacks Sanders and everyone brawls and I guess this is gonna set up a match tonight.

Meanwhile, “Sting” shows up for a TV commercial shoot. Suddenly Tony is an expert on who the fake Stings are after 4 years of being fooled by Jeff Farmer and Kevin Nash.

WCW World tag team title: Mark Jindrak & Sean O’Haire v. The Boogie Knights

Despite being completely squashed in their debut last week, they’re getting a tag title match this week. Jindrak gets double-teamed in the corner and Wright gets an elbow in the corner. Jindrak comes back with a sideslam, but Disqo hits him with the duck and Wright gets two. Over to Disqo, who drops an elbow from the middle rope, but O’Haire comes in with a powerslam and goes up to finish. Wright brings him down and then comes in with a missile dropkick on Jindrak for two. Wright with 5 years in the business is looking like the grizzled vet here by comparison to the NBT. The champs hit Wright with a double atomic drop into a double dropkick for two, and O’Haire hits a jawbreaker into a springboard clothesline from Jindrak that gets two. O’Haire definitely had star potential but man Jindrak was painfully generic at this point. Disqo gets a hot tag and runs wild with a DDT on Jindrak for two. The ref gets bumped and the Knights hit Jindrak with a double team into Disqo’s stunner for the pin and the title at 6:00. But then Mike Sanders comes out and reverses the decision, and then demands the match be restarted after the NBT come in and beat them up. And O’Haire gets the pin at 7:23 to retain instead. Match was decent but the finish was atrocious and that kind of rug-pulling Dusty Finish for no reason is just killing off your own audience. **1/2. If there was a meaningful reason for it, it’s one thing, but this was just a match on the deep undercard.

Meanwhile, “Sting” shills for Mastercard.

Stacy Keibler joins us to discuss the pregnancy situation, and asks David to drop the investigation. So Mark Madden accuses her of not knowing who the father is because she’s been with so many men that she’s forgotten. Charming. David Flair comes out and demands to know what was up with the Buff Bagwell tape and demands a blood test for Stacy right now. Madden: “We know she’s the mother, Einstein”. Crowbar comes out to talk sense into David, but David attacks him until Mike Awesome saves. If you need to be saved from DAVID FLAIR, it’s time to give it up. This was atrocious from start to finish and the storyline continues to go nowhere.

Down Underwear match: Tigress v. Torrie Wilson

So they’re wearing outback safari outfits and you have to strip your opponent to win, as you’d expect. Tigress attacks and tries a pump splash, but that misses and Torrie rips off the shirt. So Tigress gets the X Factor and tears off Torrie’s shorts, and then hits the broncobuster as Madden is just over the top irritating with his shit here. Tigress pulls off the shirt to win at 1:55. Good, that’s about all I could take of Madden. And this brings out Konnan and Shane Douglas to continue their beef that randomly started last week for no reason.

“Sting” joins us, with a merch table set up in the ring so he can sign autographs and make money off the kids. And he claims that once he loses to Jeff Jarrett at Halloween Havoc, he’s going to retire. Well he was about 24 years early on that prediction. So he invites all the kids in the audience, who have $15 in cash, to come into the ring and get an autograph. But then Sting rappels from the ceiling to break up this unauthorized autograph session and protect his intellectual property. Man I really wish they would have retired the ceiling gag for good after Owen’s death. Especially when it’s used for shit like this. Madden thinks it’s Jeff Farmer actually in the ring, but Tony is 100% sure it’s the real Sting this time. But then Jarrett hits his version of the Stinger splash and suplexes Sting through the merch table and Sting no-sells it and slugs away on Jarrett in the corner. Sting puts him in the Scorpion until the fleet of referees come in to talk sense into him, because he’s just so fired up about this match they only announced this week! Also the idea put out by Tony that Sting “signs autographs for free” is hilarious.

Mike Sanders & Kevin Nash v. The Cat & Booker T

Tony tries to put over local “superstar” kickboxer Sam Greco, who was shown at ringside earlier, while Stevie just completely no-sells it and goes “Never heard of him”. That’s amazing. The babyfaces get some shine to start, but Nash hits Cat with a shot from the apron and Sanders chokes Cat out and drops a fist on him. Big Kev comes in with the sideslam for two and he’s got his hair dyed blond as his midlife crisis continues. Cat and Sanders clothesline each other for a double down and Booker comes in and cleans house before hitting Sanders with the axe kick. But then Cat asks to come in and hits the Feliner for the pin at 3:43. Afterwards, he goes to start something with local kickboxing superstar Sam Greco, but you don’t want none of Sam Greco! He’ll presumably kick you or box you, as the case may be! So with Cat distracted, Scott Steiner comes out and beats Booker down with his pipe, and then demands Sting for tonight, unconcerned by the World champion he’s facing in a title match at the PPV.

Meanwhile, David Flair announces that he’s not stopping until he knows the truth, so he’s facing Mike Awesome in a hardcore match tonight. The math checks out!

Goldberg v. Big Vito

Pointing out the ludicrous logic behind this storyline, Madden notes that there’s only 50 guys under contract in WCW and so Goldberg would have to beat everyone 3 times each in order to duplicate the streak. YA THINK? Goldberg no-sells the mafia kick, spears him, and pins him with the Jackhammer at 0:30 to be 4-0. And then Johnny the Bull hits the ring for a beatdown on Vito, but Goldberg saves, beats up Johnny, and then pins him as well to go 5-0 because why not? Kronik comes out to stare him down, but that apparently is a match that they’re saving for later for whatever reason, so nothing happens.

Mike Awesome v. David Flair

David storms in and attacks, but Awesome clotheslines him and tosses a bunch of stuff into the ring while Madden is doing impressions of Tommy Rich tonight for some reason. Hey, we’re 10 months into 2000 WCW, I’d be going crazy and doing the same thing. David goes up and Awesome slams him off the top and splashes him for two. They fight to the floor while the announcers insult each other for their own amusement. Back in the ring, David kicks him in the nuts and celebrates with a strut, but Awesome clotheslines him out of the corner and then puts the boots to him and hits him with a frog splash and running powerbomb to finish at 4:30. Basically just an extended squash for Awesome. But then Ric Flair is revealed to have been waiting in the parking lot all this time, and he heads out to save David from getting powerbombed through a table. By talking him out of it. This was weird.

Meanwhile, Major Gunns looks to Kwee Wee for a new outfit, but Lance Storm steals her away again.

Lance Storm v. Konnan

I’m guessing this is a non-title match? Storm’s US title reign has gone completely down the toilet as of late and I’m thinking he’s just gonna drop it to someone pretty soon because the Team Canada deal has lost all the steam since Duggan’s turn. Storm sends Konnan’s arm into the post and follows with a suplex for two. Dropkick puts Konnan down, but Storm goes up and misses something, allowing Konnan to make the comeback with his usual shit. But then Shane Douglas comes in and hits Konnan with something behind the ref’s back, and Storm suplexes him for two and then finishes with the Maple Leaf at 4:30. Just a match. *1/2. Storm doesn’t seem particularly motivated anymore and I can’t blame him. Clearly he’s hit the ceiling now.

Scott Steiner v. Sting

Jeff Jarrett is the heel ref for this one because of reasons, and Steiner attacks to start and beats Sting down with the help of JJ. They fight to the floor and then Sting heads back in and beats up Jarrett at the same time, which is somehow not a DQ. Steiner comes back with a belly to belly for two and follows with a backbreaker to take over. He hangs Sting in the Tree of Woe and Jarrett puts the boots to him, but another ref comes out and they beat him up. Steiner with a press slam and Jarrett actually ends up doing a slow count, for two. Sting comes back and rams Steiner into the turnbuckles, but Scott goes low and puts the boots to him. Scott slugs him down and stops for pushups, but Sting fights back until Jarrett gets in his way. So Sting takes out JJ and they fight to the floor again, where Steiner uses the lead pipe and they run Sting into the stairs. Back in for two, but the Cat and Booker take out Jarrett and now Booker is the referee and he refuses to count the pin for Steiner. And Sting hits the death drop and pins Steiner at 7:05. Reminder: STEINER is the one getting the World title match at the PPV. This was very much just a match despite everyone running in and all the guest referees. *1/2

There was really nothing here to distinguish this from a regular Nitro aside from the bigger crowd. In fact with the slightly slower pace to the show it just made all the bullshit finishes and dumb twists seem more boring. The tag title match was almost good but there’s really nothing else on this one to make it worth watching.