Anatomy of a Disaster: Chris Jericho vs. Tomohiro Ishii

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER: CHRIS JERICHO vs. TOMOHIRO ISHII:
-The whole BOD was dumbfounded when Scott reviewed this one at ***1/2, as nearly everyone watching it live was like “WTF was this?” and I found the dichotomy interesting enough that I figured I’d dust off the ol’ “Disaster” column to properly make the fun!

Dave Meltzer rated this ****, and Scott Keith rated it ***1/2. In so doing, both men have committed the most egregious of crimes: They Have Enjoyed Wrestling Incorrectly. Such a grievous misdeed can only be corrected via a public shaming! I mean, Meltzer’s takes on AEW’s matches are kinda impossible to take seriously in the first place- a bunch of these dudes are no doubt longtime contacts, and that goes DOUBLE for Jericho, who is pretty much an open secret when it comes to him feeding Dave info for 25+ years. And AEW is like Dave’s ideals of wrestling made manifest- even when he critiques the booking he can’t help but fling snowflakes the way of random ice-cold TV matches! Though it’s kinda funny that Dave, a guy who infamously loves MOVEZ and will rate matches more highly based off of the sheer number of movez done, would also like a match where two dudes practically do none of them.

THE STAGE: AEW Dynamite (Nov. 27th 2024)

THE PERFORMERS:
CHRIS JERICHO:
* Jericho was once a beloved IWC figure- a hilarious wrestler in WCW with a history of big-effort Junior matches in Japan, then a popular WWF guy. Great talker, good matches, sometimes overrated, and one of the first guys to get an online presence going. Got a rep for constantly reinventing himself into something new so he never got truly stale. When AEW was founded, an aging Jericho was one of the first big hires and the inaugural Champion- as the biggest star in the company, he was a great “first guy” and actually did some good work as as “Aging Rock Star” asshole character, cheating to win and eventually being left lying by Jon Moxley to start a new era.

HOWEVER…

Jericho’s spent the past 2-3 years seemingly grasping onto relevance any way he can, with a routine so recurring it’s become obvious to pretty much every fan who pays even the remotest attention. When I brought up “Jericho leeching off of other guys” to Scott years ago, it was somewhat of an outside take (and even I had to be clued in by someone else- I hadn’t even noticed it until he called it out, and then I was like “OH MY GOD THIS FITS EVERYTHING!”). Now it’s just a meme. Jericho’s whole M.O. now is to find a rising star in the company or someone getting over, latch himself onto them via a MASSIVE feud lasting as long as possible, then beat them up again and again on TV, standing tall every week, until finally “doing a job” on PPV (which fewer people watch than TV, so less people see him actually get his), thus “putting them over” but actually meaning Jericho is the one who benefits, because everyone saw him beat this over act 8-10 times on Dynamite before losing only a single match on PPV. No sooner does an act start getting some hype then Jericho slithers up to Tony Khan’s ear and goes “Hey Tony… this kid is really getting over. Why don’t you pair him off with ME and I’ll really get the most out of him and show everyone what he can do?”.

Jericho to Tony Khan when Eddie Kingston and Ricky Starks started getting good reactions.

Remember when the Blackpool Combat Club formed as this elite stable of world-beaters… and then just started getting beaten up by the Jericho Appreciation Society, allowing Jericho to stand tall week after week until the BCC had lost credibility? Or when Ricky Starks & Action Andretti got TV wins, thus making Jericho look like he was “giving back” and being magnanimous, only to beat them up on TV for months leading up to a final blowoff? He’s recently started up his THIRD stable of worshippers in the company, going back to his old standby after crowd backlash (wrestler Kylie Rae liked a tweet accusing Jericho of sexual misconduct, thus cluing in people that he’s probably getting up to some gross behavior while an acting top-level AEW employee) ruined his babyface run and they rapidly repositioned him as a bad guy again. And won the ROH Title from Mark Briscoe (aka Briscoe was getting over and everyone liked him, so it’s time to enter the Jericho Vortex and have all his heat drained off so Jericho can maintain relevance for a little while longer).

TOMOHIRO ISHII:
* A stunted, dwarfish wrestler, Ishii is a New Japan guy since 2006 (but debuted in WAR), one of those “tough-looking legit dudes” despite being his late fifties. I… wait. *checks* He’s FORTY-EIGHT? He’s only five years older than I am? What, did this dude get hit by a bus or something? Why does he move like that?!

Uh, in any case, he was apparently an undercarder who gained a cult following (yes I’m reading Wikipedia shut up), and has won a handful of belts. AEW has made him a regular factor, where he once showed up a couple times a year to do a job (losing to Jericho, Eddie Kingston & Adam Cole one year, Moxley the next, then Kyle Fletcher, Hangman, Swerve Strickland and even Roderick Strong so far this year). In short, he’s a jobber. BUT he picks up wins in multiman matches. But anyone with the remotest hint of a push defeats him, inevitably in the “hard-fought victory” style AEW tends to use for every match that doesn’t feature jobbers, where a guy loses but only after an 11-13 minute “good showing”.

The funny thing is, looking at the win/loss record, Ishii has NEVER WON A SINGLES MATCH IN AEW, yet they still treat him like he’s super tough and scary. The dude’s only wins come in multiman matches, usually on the unimportant shows (the Collisionverse alternate-universe company and Rampage), so the fans of the main show never see him win anything. Yet he’s constantly trotted out there like he’s this tough challenge to overcome before he jobs out to Hangman, Cole, or White or whomever in the mandatory 11-13 minute Dynamite TV match (just like NJPW guy Minoru Suzuki). In short, Ishii is Freddy Joe Floyd if he was treated on commentary as if he was Meng.

Today’s equivalent of the “smoking gun”- liking a tweet accusing someone of something.

RING OF HONOR WORLD TITLE:
CHRIS JERICHO (w/ Big Bill & Bryan Keith) vs. TOMOHIRO ISHII:
* Jericho hits the ring with a bumblebee-colored leather jacket and a studded cowboy hat, doing his lame “wave at the crowd like a goofy children’s television host” thing. He’s wearing black trunks to my horror. If there was a reason long pants were invented, it was in situations like this. Notably, neither guy gets much of a reaction. It’s a consistent thing that people who visit these shows insist that the crowds are much louder in person than they come off on TV (AEW’s production crew seems… highly un-good), but in this case there is near-silence, ESPECIALLY for Ishii, who doesn’t even get the slightest pop for his theme music starting. It is DEATHLY silent for him, with fans only slightly being audible at the quietest point of his music. Jericho doesn’t get much of a reaction either, but you can at least see groups of fans doing his wave back at him.

Ishii is his usual squat, neckless self, looking at least weird enough to be theoretically scary, even though Jericho (who is NOT a tall man) is clearly towering over him. Speaking of scary sights, Jericho’s torso is an affront to God, with a soft tummy, a sunken space between his breasts, and the saddest, floppiest man-boobs you’ve ever seen. From the front, his torso has this plasticine-like quality, squat and broad without the legs or arms to match, with folds where no folds should be. With a graying blond goatee and scraggly, unwashed hair, he doesn’t even resemble a wrestler anymore- just a washed-up rockstar.

They go nose to forehead immediate, and… Ishii just chops Jericho, who responds in kind. The Jericho who last week was comically fleeing Ishii through the arena like he was terrified to fight him now bravely throws stiff chops back and forth, and they pick up the pace, drawing a bit of applause as their chests swiftly turn red through the repeated abuse. lol at Aubrey realizing she’s not in the hard cam shot and slowly walking behind them so she can be seen “wincing” with every strike. Jericho is the first to sell, hollering in pain as he grasps his moobs… only to turn back and keep up the chops again. A “Fight Forever!” chant, quiet but still apparent, starts up, and Ishii ducks a chop and Germans him, but Jericho ducks a lariat and does the same to him. Ishii no-sells and clotheslines him, but earns the same, and they trade those until colliding, bounce off each other again, and Ishii wins by knocking Jericho down. They fight to the apron and throw more chops, but Jericho finally pokes him in the eyes and hits a DDT for our Mandatory Dynamite Apron Spot, Ishii balancing on his head using the ropes to sell it, rolling to the floor. Jericho saunters around and waves to the fans, smashing Ishii into the commentary table and super-lightly tossing the cover onto him, Ishii selling it as painful (is it… abrasive?). The worst thing about fighting to the floor is that it gives us way more close-ups of Jericho’s upper body. At least he’s changing tactics now.

Big Bill keeps giving us tree analogies (“A tree that stands taller than the forest will be knocked down by the wind every time”) as Jericho rolls Ishii in and… we’re just back to chopping again. Jericho looks annoyed/disappointed, slapping Ishii but earning the same, and trading the slaps back and forth (Jericho’s making almost no contact), until Ishii finally pops him in the mouth and draws blood. And unlike nearly every other Dynamite match, they don’t go to break off a big move, but with them just continuing to trade chops- this continues through much of the break until Jericho finally gets staggered off a couple and eats an “avalanche”, and the two start leaning on each other to sell exhaustion (or are just exhausted). Finally, Jericho gets battered around and collapses in the corner, Ishii tossing in some elbows until he’s made to back off, finally leaning against the ropes to sell. Now it’s… yup, more slapping- the crowd is downright immobile at this point, and you can actually see Jericho raising his arms to get them more into it (despite being the heel), and we’re finally back from break with him doing a rolling fall to the mat to finally start selling. Ishii’s face is beet red on one side and there’s little blood spatters on him as he leans against the ropes as well. 8-9 minutes in, Jericho finally turns a slapfight into clumsily fighting Ishii up onto the top rope, hitting a superplex. Crowd was practically on quaaludes for a minute there so they finally react a tiny bit, moreso when Ishii immediately pops to his feet, struggling to stand but doing the “defiant fighting spirit” sell.

Ishii growls as he absorbs some elbows, firing back with his own, but runs into a boot, but fires back with a shitty glancing lariat. Bill on commentary has pretty much lost interest (join the club, buddy), just kinda talking like a normal dude at this point instead of waxing philosophical (“This guy’s practically indestructible”). But Jericho starts alternating blocking shots, then absorbing some, as it’s willy-nilly if anything’s being sold right now, but Jericho does that “duck then German” move again. Jericho aims for the Judas Effect, but Ishii just lariats him in the back of the head when he starts the “spin”, then staggers around and lands on his back. The crowd is decidedly bored by this point, only barely reacting or clapping for these spots. It’s been ten minutes and they’re just done with this. Jericho puts up a big boot (why is he doing that move a bunch in this match?) then tries a Codebreaker, but Ishii puts him down and swings some elbows, only to charge into a fireman’s carry where Jericho dumps him on the mat and hits the Lionsault. Haha, dig his “try not to barf” face as he lumbers into the ropes to do the flip. He gets two off of that. Their strikes cancel each other out, and Jericho gets an oddly super-crappy Judas Effect (he almost never sells them as “glancing” but this one was) and hits the Codebreaker this time, but it’s time for the “Mandatory Dynamite KICK OUT AT ONE” spot, as Ishii fights up and swings his arms around, but collapses to all fours as the crowd… barely reacts for that. Yup- they’ve finally killed the “Kick out at ONE” spot.

Ishii fights up but gets pulled into a Walls of Jericho attempt, spinning Jericho out- Jericho lumbers in with his arm up like he’s gonna go for a Judas Effect, but gets headbutted in the midsection, and gets speared down for two. Bill has been silent for like three minutes, haha- he’s run out of shit to talk about and doesn’t know how to put over the psychology of what’s going on or say nice things. Ishii tries one of those “lariat the guy lying down” but Jericho “ducks” it (despite clearing being grazed as much as wrestlers would be doing moves that “hit”), only to run into his own Codebreaker. Ishii lariat gets two. Jericho kicks out and we get one loud “BOO!” as our only reaction. Ishii goes for a brainbuster, but settles for an enzuigiri- Jericho drops to his knees, but spins into a Judas Effect on a charging Ishii to ZERO REACTION AT ALL, then gets to his feet and hits a third Judas Effect of the match, flopping onto Ishii like a beached whale for the pin at (13:15). So Jericho, evil cheating cowardly heel, wins a hard-fought strikefest with a “fabled striker” and uses his own strikes to finish him off. What a generous giver.

Thus ends a completely embarrassing match- two dudes throwing out legitimate chops and slaps with almost nothing else done for ten minutes, boring the crowd to tears, then ending in the typical “finisher exchange” (though it’s just Jericho hitting all of his in succession, eventually pinning the JTTS) where Jericho gets another “hard-fought win”. Almost no selling whatsoever, and practically zero bumping- then their cardio runs out and they’re huffing and puffing and lumbering around because they’re outta gas and their arms are tired. It was designed to look like a “hard fight” and put over their (ie. Jericho’s) toughness, but came off as two guys with no ideas or chemistry just doing the same stuff.

Rating: 1/2* (just a boring slog and some half-speed finishers)

WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS?!?!

So like, which is Jericho, noted cheater and “guy who is scared of the babyfaces”, willingly trading all these chops and slaps with Ishii, who is billed as a tough guy? Shouldn’t he be doing more of the eye-poking, fleeing, suckering him in, etc.? He cheated to WIN the belt (having Big Bill help him in a Ladder Match)! He did like, one sneaky eye-poke here but that’s it. There’s no psychology to it at all- no plan. None of this is at all designed to help Jericho win the match (Ishii is never selling his strikes, so why is he KEEPING DOING THEM?), and Jericho never changes his tactics to negative Ishii’s striking advantage or find workarounds. He doesn’t even take the requisite BUMPS that might actually put Ishii over! He eventually just dodges a charge and hits a superplex, then starts doing his escalating finishers? Neither guy sold much of anything, just standing there trading shots for 13 minutes. Then you add in the whole “Mandatory Dynamite Spots”, where things that might otherwise be remarkable are now passe- a DDT on the ring apron should be HUGE but was an opening-minutes move that wasn’t sold for more than 20 seconds and didn’t matter in the match, and we also get the KICK OUT AT ONE spot, which is a recurring AEW thing that’s getting beaten into the ground. This kind of repetition is the sort of thing the agents are here to avoid, as they tell the boys “stop doing that” and “No, you can’t do that”, but AEW seems to have an issue with the boys either not being agented or just ignoring the agents with no repercussions, so matches are all sorta blending into each other with the same spots sprinkled throughout.

Keep in mind they’ve been building this for weeks off of Jericho being afraid of Ishii. And now instead of being a chickenshit heel (something HE KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL HOW TO DO), he’s standing there bravely exchanging strikes in a war of attrition that never actually has a result, because he just starts doing other stuff later. The obvious real purpose is to put Jericho over as a badass “in real life” for absorbing all these legitimately stiff strikes- Ishii bloodies him and makes his floppy boobies all raw and sore, and so the fans are supposed to be impressed by Jericho IRL… which is totally counterproductive to what’s going on and doesn’t help the angle.

Also… the “New Japan Tit-Slapping Exchange” spot is stupid. THERE I SAID IT! None of it is designed to help you win the match, and if it’s not all fired up or showing defiance or whatever, then it’s basically jerking off in the ring. You’re just standing there letting the other guy hit you! I get it if it’s a pride thing or a gamesmanship deal, or “I need to prove to myself that I can withstand this” from a dumb rookie or a rising babyface star, but neither of these guys are these things and Jericho’s character doesn’t match that at all.

Even worse, half the strikes were absolute ass. Jericho’s were limp, soft and weak noodles, with maybe 3 decent elbows mixed in. So it doesn’t ever look like he’s being effective at all. If they wanted to do this RIGHT, ideally Jericho should either be chickening out of the strikes or “bravely” trying to do it but immediately paying for being an egomaniacal jackass and screaming in pain and whining about it, or trying different things and then being slapped or chopped again! Heel frustration! Instead it’s just “stand there and exchange more”, which instead makes the match boring and same-y. You can tell how ineffective the match is by the crowd- they’re into the first couple minutes- the chopfest gets a small “Fight Forever!” chant (those are dumb but they still got it), but minutes in they start getting noticeably bored, then pop for very little, then basically go into a deep torpor, to the point where they’re in full hibernation by the end. Jericho’s finish, the Judas Effect, was treated as a reliable “Outta NOWHERE!” match-ender for years and here didn’t earn squat, and the finish was dead, too. Just a few scattered boos and like two dudes clapping.

Live reactions I swiped from Twitter:
“It’s quite fucking embarrasing that 2 dudes with 50 years of experience in wrestling delivered this. A chopping, slapping and no selling fest. Thanksgiving seems perfect to roast these 2 old turkeys. Fuck you Tony Free Ricky.”
“Chris Jericho and Ishii slapping each other for over 3 minutes straight was one of the worst displays of “wrestling” I’ve ever seen #AEWDynamite”

https://x.com/RPGJock/status/1861951673179979901
“At least it over now. I was not happy I paid money for this ” (someone who was actually at the show)
“Is this a women’s fight?!?” (some woman heard in the crowd on that clip)

The Fallout: oh, it’ll be HUGE! Why, Ishii is going to be off Dynamite for ages, then get trotted out as a challenge of the week again, losing another 11-13 minute match against an upper midcarder! And Jericho will be doomed to be paired up with another over talent in a soul-sucking feud that harms the careers of both! Just wait and see!

… what? I bet that’s going to happen!!

Mitigating Factors: THEY OLD! And were given 13 minutes on Dynamite to fill! Like, both dudes should probably be booked with younger talent or in comedy matches at this point. I mean the number of workers who are great at their age is TINY and only the best at psychology can mitigate their aging bodies, and neither of these dudes were that.

Overall: “Two Guys Exchange Stiff Strikes” matches on Dynamite is not a rarity at all, so the match will likely not have longterm notoriety. Jericho surely has several more terrible performances in him that this match will either be forgotten or “remember that stretch of bad matches?”. Neither was helped by the match and it won’t change any current stories, as it’s just another Jericho win among many. It’s very clear the ACTUAL purpose of this match was to “put over” Jericho outside of kayfabe- to show his “real life toughness” by taking legitimate chops and slaps for 13 minutes. Oooooh, such durability! Also, it serves the purpose of giving Jericho one of his much-valued “stand tall on TV” moments, as he often wins brawls within the feud, and all the matches, on regular TV, before jobbing out on the PPV to “put the other guy over”.