5-Star Match Reviews: Masakatsu Funaki vs. Tatsuo Nakano – UWF Fighting Square Hakata

What is better in pro-wrestling, drama or realism? Depending on whom you ask you’re likely to get a different answer. Many people love pro-wrestling for the stories and the (melo)drama; as some outside observers have noted, wrestling was once described (condescendingly) as “male soap opera”. There’s a modicum of truth to this, as seen with which wrestlers get over by playing characters and which wrestlers from the past are still remembered today.

But for those that are tired of the same old shtick and surrealism and want something else, where to they go? Boxing? Mixed Martial Arts? The Olympics? Or is there something still within the confines of pro-wrestling itself that checks that realism box while still also being entertaining? Well a few companies tried that out in the late 80s and 90s, and now we’ve found one such a match that, more or less, encapsulates the kind of action those experimenters were putting on.

The Story

Anyone who loves modern MMA owes a lot to Masakatsu Funaki. He was a pioneer in so-called “shoot-style” which took elements from NJPW’s Strong Style presentation and went in an even more realistic direction. He was one of the best mat grapplers, strikers, and joint technique specialists in Japan at the time. And prior to departing NJPW for greener pastures, he was considered THE standout performer in NJPW’s vaunted class of 1984-5, a class that included the likes of Keiichi Yamada (Jushin “Thunder” Liger), Shinya Hashimoto, Masa Chono, Minoru Suzuki and Chris Benoit. But after falling out with NJPW over backstage politics, Funaki followed Akira Maeda to the even-shootier UWF Reborn, where they would have the closest things to real fights that could be promoted under a pro-wrestling banner…that is, until Pancrase would come along in a few years.

As Funaki continued to fight in UWF he eventually came across another fighter named Tatsuo Nakano. I don’t know anything about Nakano to be honest, aside from one story that he has a weakness in the form of a soft nose that’s prone to bleeding at the slightest touch. And unfortunately, that’s going to play a role in this match.

The Match

This took place on July 24, 1989.

Funaki offers a handshake but Nakano kicks his hand away. Oh, it’s on now. These guys start swinging in ugly fashion with slaps and palm strikes. The body language makes this look like a real fight, and given how hot-headed many of the shooters of that time were, it very well might be. Funaki rains down with more palm strikes as Nakano goes for a single-leg takedown. Funaki fights back to his feet but Nakano traps one arm. Nakano tanks some knee shots to the gut and manages a takedown. Funaki fights out of a heel hook and tries a cross armbreaker. Nakano resists so Funaki switches to a sort of triangle choke. Fuck, these fans are LOUD chanting for Nakano. Nakano fights out and lands more palm thrusts. He tries a shoot butterfly suplex but Funaki resists. Then Funaki kicks Nakano as hard as he can. Nakano tries countering with a dragon screw leg whip but Funaki rolls with it. Funaki retaliates with head-butts. Blood pours from Nakano’s nose as he tries fighting back with more knees. A basic judo takedown by Nakano gets a huge roar from the audience. Nakano tries a grounded head-and-arm lock but Funaki escapes. The action pauses as a ringside doctor checks on Nakano’s bloody nose. The doctor gives him the OK to continue and Nakano fires up, all motivated to continue. That small gesture of defiance and willingness to continue is all it takes for Nakano to instantly become a sympathetic figure worth rooting for.

Funaki does a rolling leglock and then both men attempt simultaneous heel hooks. Funaki overpowers Nakano for a moment but Nakano fights back. Both guys end up in heel hooks but then Nakano breaks free and punts Funaki like he owes him money. Funaki tries to fight to his feet but the delayed shock of one kick sends him back down in a heap. The ref begins his down count and Funaki barely gets up at nine. The fight continues.

Nakano lands a shoot butterfly suplex and floats over into a double wristlock. He tries switching to a cross armbreaker but Funaki breaks free and lands more palm thrusts. Nakano tries another dragon screw but, like before, Funaki rolls with it to negate its effect and kicks him right in the head. Nakano tries maintaining control with another leglock but Funaki continues to wail on him as blood pours from his nose once again.

Nakano applies a side headlock but Funaki escapes and lands a big spinkick followed by what looks like a deadlift arm-trap Backdrop suplex. Nakano goes down but gets up at the count of four. Funaki does a single leg trip into a half crab which forces Nakano to use one of his few (I think three in total) ropebreaks. The doctor checks on Nakano’s nose again and Nakano makes it very clear that he does NOT want the doctor to stop the match for any reason. Funaki tries taking advantage with some shin kicks but Nakano blasts him with a thrust kick. A roundhouse drops Funaki to the mat but he gets up by eight. Nakano rushes him a bit too soon for the referee’s liking and makes him back off. After a short pause Nakano rushes Funaki, lands some kneelifts, and hits the nastiest-looking snap suplex ever, which pops the crowd like Steve Austin at Backlash 2000.

The striking continues back and forth as Funaki makes a sudden comeback. Funaki lands uppercuts but misses a backfist which allows Nakano to land more kicks. Funaki starts staggering and getting weaker, to the point that only one or two kicks are enough to go down. Funaki goes down for a third time but gets up at seven. Nakano lands more kicks followed by a shoot German suplex into a half crab. Funaki blocks so both guys palm strike each other again. Funaki fires up out of nowhere and lands an incredible rolling Alabama Slam. Then he locks in a Boston crab. The ref calls for the bell. Funaki wins just like that!

Winner after 9:04: Masakatsu Funaki

Review

With so much of pro-wrestling shifting in recent years towards performance, choreography, and at times unflattering comparisons to figure staking or ballet, it’s refreshing to see something grittier and closer to a real fight. This didn’t have any flashy angles, long-winded promos, nuanced drama, or live-action cartoon characters to pull you in. Instead, it was a fight with a slight hint of professionalism mixed in as well. Both wrestlers’ body language and expressions within the ring made this look like a real martial arts contest disguised as a wrestling match. Any sense of story came from the action itself, which was direct, highly physical, and at times brutal. This was like a schoolyard fight translated into a wrestling context but also polished a bit to make it still look somewhat like a sporting contest. This makes it a rarity as far as wrestling goes: it’s something that could pass for a real fight while not actually being one.

Nowhere was this clearer than with Nakano’s blood. To keep this purely in line with UWF’s presentation, blading was verboten and any blood came the hard way. So when Nakano (who is alleged to have had a nose made of paper) started bleeding from the nose, it resonated far more with the audience than a bladejob would have. As Joseph Montecillo once noted, anyone can understand what it feels like to bleed, but blading as a pro-wrestling tradecraft has a different connection than a busted nose. It has that realistic grit to it, the kind of primal physicality anyone who has been in a fight in their lives could relate to.

But that relatability and visceral quality went beyond the way blood added to the contest. Neither guy is concretely face or heel here. It’s just two guys with a simmering beef and the ideal vehicle with which to quash it. There’s no sense of fluidity or finesse in the sense of gracefully executed maneuvers. Everything carried a sense of urgency, directness, and purpose. Even during the slow moments on the mat there was this ever-present feeling that one small mistake could spell the end for either one. When either man got knocked down they had a timer on them to get back to their feet which eliminated any needless rest holds or recovery time. It was all one long fight scene with both guys trying for a knock-out or a tap-out. And in the end despite fighting against major odds Nakano couldn’t overcome that last hurdle and passed out in a Boston crab hold. Although it wasn’t the most overtly narrative-driven match of its time, especially compared to classics from the same year like Flair/Steamboat or Flair/Funk, this match executed a similar underdog hero story, albeit in a much more sport-like and aggressive sort of way.

Final Rating: *****

This is the best, most exciting sub-fifteen-minute match I’ve ever seen and without question the best sub-ten-minute as well. Previously I thought that Tomohiro Ishii vs. Katsuyori Shibata, Shibata/Goto from Dominion 2013, or Eddy vs. Rey from WCW Halloween Havoc 1997 would hold that honor forever since all of them packed so much intense and exciting action in such a short amount of time. But this one surpassed all of them by being more compact, more exciting, and more believable.

I know some people might be turned off by shoot-style or be tired with the MMA boom that swept the world since the early 1990s. But there’s something about a match like this that can re-energize a viewer. This had the physical intensity of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar from WWE Extreme Rules 2012 but without the slow parts or the bizarre booking and post-match promo. It was short in duration but it didn’t feel like anything was cut or condensed. The action was mostly MMA-like but there were still the odd “wrestling techniques” that reminded viewers that this was still, technically, professional wrestling. These elements worked so well together. And even without any commentary, the wrestlers’ actions and expressions and the crowd’s explosive reactions all tell a clear tale that helps compensate for any lack of understanding going into this.

I don’t give ***** ratings often. Since I started reviewing matches six years ago I’ve probably given that rating to maybe ~70 matches out of over 1,000. It takes a lot for any wrestlers do be able to produce something so high quality without the added benefits of having a gigantic company apparatus helping tell the full story along the way. For these two men to do so in such little time with such simplistic tools speaks volumes to how great pro-wrestling really was when it wasn’t all watered down by a need to perform and cooperate.

Thanks for reading.