Five From The Vault #1

Today, we start a new adventure. We are diving into the WWE Vault in search of hidden treasures.

First, an explainer. For those of you in the dark, WWE has launched a secondary YouTube channel by the name of WWE Vault. While the main channel focuses on videos from the current shows and hyping things up, Vault showcases matches from the past, often with a theme. For example, we’re getting a lot of Intercontinental Title matches right now as the belt celebrates 25 years. Building to SummerSlam, we’d get one to two SummerSlam matches in full a day.

Most of what’s uploaded is already easily out there for those of us with Peacock or its international variations. The purpose of the channel, as with any YouTube channel, is to make ad revenue. Roman Reigns versus so-and-so will forever bring in ten times the eyes as a Repo Man match (there is no accounting for taste).

However, occasionally Vault will throw a bone at those of us with a deeper palette. Of the first hundred matches they’ve uploaded, fifteen aren’t available on WWE’s streaming partners.

I’m here to look at some of those rarities. For the purposes of this column, a rarity isn’t on WWE’s streaming partners. That covers the true deep cuts, but it also covers stuff like a match from EVOLVE 65 that isn’t on Peacock. If I can’t open Peacock and find it, it’s currently a rarity to me.

Now, two things on these reviews. One, I’m not a match reviewer. I’m no Scott or Thomas. I’m hoping this helps develop my skills with this, but I don’t promise it to be to their level.

Second, star ratings. On “Whose Line Is It Anyway,” one of the big jokes is that everything is made up and the points don’t matter. My star ratings are just that: mine. And they don’t matter. I hate scoring things because it’s all so subjective. It’s like putting two pieces of art next to each other and arguing which is better. It’s dumb. So my ratings? They’re in the moment. I could very well give a Chelsea Green match five stars (six in Tokyo) or a Bret Hart match two stars. My ratings REALLY don’t matter. I’m undoubtedly going to give something four stars one time and then a better match three another time. I don’t care. You shouldn’t either. Form your own opinions. I am one person on Beyoncé’s internet.

All that said, let’s dive in. I’m going to link to each match on the Vault YouTube so you too can follow along if you’d like. Or don’t. I’m not your mom, do what you want.

10.28.2018: NXT UK Women’s Championship – Rhea Ripley vs Dakota Kai (match)

We start where all things in my brain start: Rhea Ripley. For the women’s wrestling fans, this had been a sought-after match for a while. It was the dark match for WWE Evolution. It didn’t air due to Rhea’s title win not airing on NXT UK yet. While she won the belt on August 26, the match didn’t even air until November 28. Yeah, the taping schedule sucked many times for NXT UK. What was a 139 day reign is counted as a 44 day reign in WWE time.

We join in with Rhea making her entrance to “This is My Brutality,” Dakota already in the ring. There’s no commentary for this match which is kind of a refreshing way to watch a match. I appreciate what the commentary teams usually bring to a match, but I wish for an audio track where we can just soak in the sounds of the ring and the arena.

The bell rings and we’re underway. The crowd cheers as they lock up. Rhea pushes Dakota into the corner and breaks cleanly. Kota gets a kick and a stomp but not even a two count. Rhea intercepts a run in the corner, pushing Dakota down and taunting her. Rhea hits a vertical suplex, holding and flexing for about ten seconds. Rhea chokes Kota in the corner and breaks at three.

Rhea continues to taunt the downed Kota, again going for a vertical suplex. Kota tries to counter, but gets twisted into Rhea’s Prism Trap. Kota tries to climb out, walking on her hands towards the ropes before slinging Rhea into the turnbuckles. Kota hits several kicks, knocking Rhea to the corner before nailing her Kaio Kick. She sets up and hits a second time, getting a two count. Kota climbs to the top, going for a top rope stomp but missing. Rhea hits the Riptide, does the PG pre-2023 pin and and it’s an easy three. We get a replay, which is interesting without commentary. Rhea raises her belt that the viewing audience hasn’t seen her win yet and that’s that. ***

This is an interesting watch as both a Rhea completionist and as a King Kota fan. You can feel Rhea’s superstar aura even back in 2018 when she was fairly new to us. It’s a short, intriguing watch.

1.11.1991: WCW Football Match – Lex Luger vs Curtis Hughes (match)

This is from a pretty historic WCW house show, the same one where Ric Flair regained the NWA World Title from Sting.

What’s a WCW Football Match, you might ask? Well, both Luger and Hughes are wearing football jerseys with shoulder pads and have helmets. We join with Paul E. Dangerously complaining on the house mic about Lawrence Taylor being at Lex Luger’s side. That’s future WrestleMania main eventer Lawrence Taylor to you, Paul. LT has a very Cosby sweater on.

Luger gets his helmet on and the bell rings. Dangerously and LT finally leave the ring to a “Paul E sucks” chant as we’re clipped slightly forward. Hughes goes into a crouching stance, which Luger follows. Hughes quickly stands up and kicks Luger in the head because he’s smart. We zoom in on LT at ringside. Crouching stances again and they charge, tying up in the corner before being broken up.

Another charge, they tie up and tussle to the rope, being broken up again. Hughes throws Luger over the top rope during the break up, with LT waving it off. Luger storms the ring and clotheslines Hughes out of it as the bell rings. This was over the top rope then? I dunno. Paul gets clotheslined by Lex after the match. I assume the fans in the arena were told the actual rules. We weren’t. *

As a novelty match, it’s fine. Short and inoffensive. As an actual match, it kinda sucked. It seemed to work well for the live crowd it was intended for.

5.13.2003: Legion of Doom vs CM Punk & Doug Delicious (match)

Punk introduces this to us, mentioning that he did a move WWE didn’t like during a dark match the night before and was told he’d never get another dark match. He still showed the next night, and was drafted into the match by Sgt. Slaughter after they couldn’t find any capable men to face LOD.

We are very in SD with this video, again without commentary and even with the tracking numbers on the bottom of the screen. The Velocity graphics are on the Tron and screen. We join in as Punk and Delicious make their entrance to generic rock music before LOD enter to their music and the roar of the crowd, probably shocked that they’re getting a surprise LOD match.

“LOD” chants fill the arena and we snip to Hawk picking Delicious up off the mat. A slam and Punk tags in as does Animal. Punk hits Animal from behind before being knocked down. Animal takes Punk’s head off with a clothesline then hits several powerslams. Hawk is tagged in and hits Punk with a corner clothesline before whipping him to the other corner. Hawks runs full-force in but Punk moves, Hawk going into the ringpost and to the floor.

Delicious attacks Hawk ringside as Punk distracts the ref before Hawk is rolled back in. Punk with a suplex into a two count. Doug is tagged in as they both body-press Hawk down. They run him into the ropes for a second, but Hawk ducks and comes back to double clothesline both men. Hot tag to Animal who takes down Punk and hits a back suplex on Doug. Punk is clotheslined out and Hawk gets the tag. Doug takes a brutal Doomsday Device, flipping through it, and it’s a quick three. ***

I enjoyed this. It’s what a show-opening match should be: something to get the crowd into it. LOD are good for this, and Punk and Delicious played their parts well.

8.18.2008 – Takeshi Moreshima vs Jamie Noble (match)

Here’s when you guys throw something at me: I don’t know who Moreshima is. That’s right, I also can’t name the IWGP Champions in chronological order. You’re welcome to judge my fandom. I don’t care.

Tony Atlas, probably fresh off of requesting feet pics, tells the crowd he’s been searching all over for talent. He says the man he is introducing is greater than Godzilla AND greater than “the Mississippi.” Moreshima gets the Orient Express theme because that’s the standard music for Japanese people between 1991 and 2010. We’ve got the WWE ECW trons here.

Moreshima enters in a tee and tights to zero reaction. Tony bows to him, as he probably does to women who want to step on him (I am not kink shaming for the record, but a good joke is a good joke). Tony Chimel introduces his opponent, Jamie Noble, to a slight reaction.

Lockup and Jamie kicks at the knee. Moreshima misses a corner punch, Jamie takes him into a headlock. Moreshima comes off the rope and knocks him down, then pounds him in the corner. Kicks in the corner. A splash in the opposite corner. The ref pulls him away as Tony yells. Noble gets the advantage briefly, but bounces off a failed drop kick attempt. Noble runs into a fallaway slam. Moreshima applies a nerve hold, then misses another corner splash. Noble runs into a big boot, Moreshima hits a running elbow drop and then a leg drop. 1, 2… and he pulls him off the mat. Back suplex and a pin. This was fine. **

8.19.2008 – Takeshi Moreshima vs Charlie Haas (match)

We move to the next night and a second tryout match, this time with the Raw graphics. Lilian Garcia introduces Charlie Haas to a decent reception. He enters first, Moreshima comes out second to “Theme From Orient Express” but without Tony Atlas. The crowd again does not really care.

The fans are chanting a little more as the match starts, but against Haas. Lockup and a headlock by Haas. Moreshima bounces him off the ropes into a shoulder. Charlie hits him from behind and drives him head-first into the turnbuckle, but Moreshima bounces Charlie’s head in return. He runs Charlie into the rope and into a splash, followed by a leg drop. Charlie’s up and goes for a kick, which Moreshima catches and turns into a clothesline. Moreshima goes for Charlie, standing on the apron, but takes several knees to the head. Charlie pulls his arm out and kicks it before going back in. Charlie runs right into that sidewalk slam. Moreshima goes up top and hits a flying drop kick, going for the win and getting a good reaction from the crowd. Again, serviceable. **

These two matches were presented as a pair and were probably really cool to Moreshima fans. To me, it was neat to see tryout matches.

That’s our five matches for this trip into the vault. As I write this, we still have rare matches of Bayley, Cody Rhodes, Bray Wyatt and others to review. See you next time!