Super Duper Mario in ICW & Super Mario vs. Gorgeous George III (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week I have some INCREDIBLE finds for you- TWO DIFFERENT WRESTLERS doing shameless “Super Mario” gimmicks in the indies! Starting off with Rusty Brooks in a cheap costume squashing a jobber in ICW, then leading to Super Mario in the USWA facing the future Maestro, Gorgeous George III! And then I found Super Mario squashing some guy called “The Hawk”!

After that it’s another Haas Brothers dark match, as Charlie & Russ take on the Dupps- Jack and Bo! Come see Charlie mis-time a suplex and nearly kill Jack! And finally, it’s a UWFI match from Japan, as Big Van Vader takes on fellow big boy Gary Albright in a FAT MAN STAND-OFF using worked shootstyle!

SUPER DUPER MARIO vs. JOSE VASQUEZ:
(ICW, probably 1990)
* It’s more of Rusty Brooks! Once someone told me he was called “Super Duper Mario” I knew I had to seek this out. It’s the most podunk of sleazy indie gimmicks possible- just trotting a fat guy out in a red shirt & blue overalls to Nintendo music and have fans greet him like he’s a mascot or something when it’s totally unlicensed nonsense, haha. This is from ICW, an indie with a very storied, remarkable history. None of which I know, so hopefully someone in the comments can sound off. Extra points for Brooks going with a super-exaggerated Italian accent and… wait, why is his cap blue? Did he base his entire look off the first Nintendo Power cover? He love how the cap is just gigantic and way too tall- like they had to find a blue cap and could only find one at the store. And he comes down to the ring with a hammer. Well… I mean Mario used one in Donkey Kong. He says “Ah-THPTHTPTPT” to the Boston Creampuff, which I assume is the nickname for someone he dislikes. Valsquez is a jobber in red trunks, looking generic and dad-bod ish.

Vasquez gets a go-behind, but Super Duper Mario butt-bumps him and hits a clothesline, then a hiptoss from a bit too far away to look good. A slam sets up Mario taking a step onto the jobber’s belly and a splash ends it (0:29). WHY IS HIS FINISHER NOT A HEAD STOMP IT’S RIGHT THERE YOU HACKS? The splash is hilariously weak, too- he just stands up on his tip-toes and falls over- no air at all. Like when you can say “I liked that move better when Fred Ottman did it” you have an issue with your execution. Super Duper Mario calls in a bunch of young fans to hit the ring and celebrate with him- well he’s over with the youngsters, I’ll give him that.

Rating: DUD (only 30 seconds of the simplest nonsense possible)

GORGEOUS GEORGE III vs. SUPER MARIO:
(USWA A Night To Remember, 11.06.1995)
* Oh what hellacious garbage is this? The third Gorgeous George (who of course just does the “sissy heel” thing but does none of what made George so successful, like taking forever to take off all his shit to build heat with the fans) taking on… another Super Duper Mario? That can’t be Rusty Brooks, unless he lost a foot in height and gained 100 lbs. Oh my mistake, this is merely SUPER Mario- no “Duper”. Boy am I embarrassed. George has a tiny hand mirror and some perfume that he arbitarily sprays around, and is in powder-blue trunks, and shouts “OOH LAH LAH!” to the fans). Wait, this is the guy who was the Maestro in WCW? Did they give him that job as a “thank you” for letting Macho Man give his midlife crisis girlfriend the name? Super Mario of course comes down to… “Bad Boys”? And has a tie-die shirt and plaid cap, which is famously what Mario wears. Well at least he’s got dark hair and a mustache. All five feet of him. George ain’t no prize, either- he’s got that “just recently got chubby” look with the folds in his belly and those babyfat titties going. This is actually the USWA- Jerry Lawler’s promotion.

They lock up and Mario belly-bumps George, who hits the floor in a huff. Lance Russell puts over how Mario being “SO low to the ground and he weighs SO much” that he’s hard to wrestle, which is funny because he’s talking over George easily beating the shit out of him and dodging and avalanche to bowl him over with a clothesline and pin him with ease at (1:21). Extra points for Mario clearly starting to fall down well ahead of the move connecting, thus botching the finish of a one-minute match.

Rating: DUD (lol who brings out a guy in Mario gear and just jobs him out in a minute?)

SUPER MARIO vs. THE HAWK:
(USWA, 8/14/93)
* Let’s look at Super Mario’s debut, then! He’s taking on The Hawk, a much taller guy in black shorts and a mullet.

The match literally lasts seconds, as they do a headlock into a rope-run, Mario belly-bashing him to the ground. He hits another one and a powerslam (actually didn’t look that bad), then hits a Running Splash, hilariously getting so much momentum he basically slides over Hawk and bonks his head on the mat and has to turn around to get the pin. That finishes at (1:46). Some fat dad named Burt Prentiss comes out and talks shit, Mario knocking him down into a hilariously overwrought cartoon bump and beating him down, but out comes the Vampire Warrior to kick his ass, as we get Gangrel vs. Mario action on free TV. I see Jeff Jarrett out there and the Fabulous Ones come out too as it’s a big brawl.

Rating: DUD (Mario is completely inept- too fat to be good and not big enough to be intimidating)

See, THIS to me is what indie wrestling is all about! Not watching skinny geeks watching Japan comps and copying all the finishers to make up their entire offense! Not indie kickpad guys trying to be the next Bryan Danielson! Not your Simon Diamonds & Johnny Swingers being “almost good enough for a WWF contract” generic dudes in generic tights working their asses off to have a ** match. I’m talking about 300 lbs. of uncontrolled diabetes shamelessly ripping off someone else’s IP for a few bucks here and there! THAT’S independent wrestling! That it’s a shameless rip-off while also being cheap and half-assed is what makes it work.

THE HAAS BROTHERS (Charlie & Russ Haas) vs. THE DUPPS (Bo & Jack Dupp):
(WWF Dark Match, Aug. 7th 2000)
* Yes, it’s another Haas Brothers dark match, as Charlie and the doomed Russ take on… the Dupps? I don’t remember them being WWF signees. They pretty quickly went to NWA-TNA around this time, taking their gimmick names with them. Gimmick names that made no sense to non-Southerners, as the pun name “Bowed Up” (ie. drunk) doesn’t translate up north. Also I guess one is named Jack instead of Stan, here. They’re normal-looking wrestlers but wearing dirty-looking white shirts over black jeans- neither is Trevor Murdoch, as the Dupps was actually a stable of 4-5 interchanging guys- Jack here is an 11-year vet. Bo has a beard judging by Google so I’m calling that one Bo. The Haases are in black & blue singlets. This is from a massively empty Madison Square Garden.

Charlie starts with Bo as they do basic arm stuff, then he flings Russ in with the flipping shoulderblock for two. Bo goes to the eyes and Jack’s in, but he soon gets beat up too. Russ slingshots Jack into Charlie’s overhead belly to belly in a HORRIBLE spot that could have gone really bad (Charlie starts the lift before Jack’s even squared on his feet and so he has to tuck REALLY fast or end up paralyzed). Jack goes to the eyes but Bo gets taken down as this is pretty one-sided. Bo finally catches him with a running push and Russ bounces around a bit before dodging a double-team. Charlie’s hot tag is full of him just standing there and waiting for the slow Dupps to come at him, then he struggles to put Jack into an awkward pin, then Russ drops a HUGE flying elbow into Jack’s nuts from 3/4 away across the ring. Bo saves and Russ gets backdropped out, and the ref is fine with the Dupps just hanging around and hitting a double-spinebuster on Charlie for the win (5:14).

Pretty weak one, with the Haas Brothers doing some bumping but the Dupps looking kinda awkward and generic. The worst move was from Charlie nearly murdering Jack by going for a move too early (he probably got dressed down backstage over THAT one), but the Dupps just kinda did basic back bumps and were a bit slow in coming in for hot tag offense.

Rating: *3/4 (one of those generic midcard nothings)

UWFI TITLE:
SUPER VADER vs. GARY ALBRIGHT:
(UWFI, Jan. 16th 1995)
* It’s more of UWFI’s fake-shootfighting stuff! And it’s SUPER VADER (aka Big Van Vader’s UWFI name) vs. Gary Albright! Which means it’s a FAT MAN STAND-OFF in a fake shoot company! A true Monster Mash in UWFI, setting up two of Nobuhiko Takada’s big opponents against each other. Gary was a big, burly dude who became popular in Japan by using this style and being a sort of “Monster Heel” type. Not a big star in the West, he was quite a big deal in Japan for a bit, and UWFI pushed him pretty heavily as a dragon for others to slay. He never quite made it huge in other companies and died young, unfortunately. He’s noticeably shorter and less heavy than Vader, but more spry. Albright, in his red singlet, slaps Vader’s hand away in the pre-match handshake and is like “U mad bro?” or the 1995 equivalent, and Vader just looks annoyed like “yeah, okay” and gets down to business.

Classic hesitant start as they each fight for wrist-control, Vader batting him once but getting stuffed in the corner. A few ineffectual gut-punches happen and Gary goes for a leg to no avail. He gets a pop just for linking two fingers behind Vader’s back, but no-go on that either. Albright keeps his head down and keeps pushing Vader through open-handed shots, but stumbles against one in the corner and gets a simple “7” count. They slowly lock up and then Albright gets a HUGE forearm smash and drives Vader down to the mat repeatedly while the ref tries to pull him off, giving Vader some time to recover. He’s up after being on all fours a bit, battering Albright down himself- Gary’s selling is a bit iffy, as he takes a shot, moves forward a bit, and only THEN collapses. Like he doesn’t realize until too late that was supposed to be the big one. Both guys don’t really sell “dazed” so much as “I got caught but then recover”. Albright again draws a pop for locking his hands behind Vader’s back, but BOOM! Belly-To-Belly Suplex! Gary appears to have a way huger gut now (ie. he’s sucking wind and can’t suck it in anymore), but tries for a JUJIGATAME of all things, Vader locking his hands to resist.

Vader rolls over and slides out, then gets a clunky amateur-style mount and can’t get a crossface or half-nelson or anything- both dudes are just too big. Vader with the front facelock, but Gary pops the fans by bursting out of it and getting a rear-mount, shoving Vader’s head down and locking on a full nelson- Vader quickly gets the ropes. Back to standing up, Vader gets a crossface but it’s a rope-break, then bops him a couple times and tries for a choke- same result. Gary gets a weak head & arm suplex-ish toss and has Vader on his back, but he’s just weakly trying for an arm thing (a kimura?) and it goes nowhere. Finally, they’re standing up and trade shots until Gary wales on him with numerous forearms and knees as we reach the endgame, and Vader takes a tumble off a big forearm/elbow smash. Vader’s still up and not that hard off, but Gary goes for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but has flown too close to the sun- Vader looks more annoyed and “I don’t think so, kid” and elbows free, bear-paws him in the face, gets behind him and claps the guy’s head, opening him up for a Side Choke, and Gary has nowhere to go- he just lies down and slowly starts tapping out at (11:26). Super Vader wins!

This was an interesting look at UWF’s “Fake Shootfight” style, with the moves that are normally transition moves and junk are actually super important, because those can end real fights, so they’ll end this pretend real-fight. The unfortunate thing is that a normal wrestling match between them would be an extremely awesome HOSS FIGHT because it’d lack the hesitation and “carefully get into moves” aspect of the UWFI style, and they’d be throwing more awesome stuff than just Gary hitting one belly-to-belly. Also the selling was a bit questionable- both had that aura of “can tank a hit” so instead of selling being dazed, desperate or “fighting through the pain” they both kinda just get up with annoyed looks on their faces and are ready to go again. This robs any of the big bumps of being “near-falls” as nothing was particularly close- in fact, only the ending choke was anything resembling a believable finish. And I’d imagine the match has cardio issues- Gary in particular seems pretty bagged and is pretty slow by the end. It is fun seeing crowd pops for simple things like “Gary manages to lock his fingers so he can actually grip the big guy” and things like that, though.

Rating: *** (feels like it could have been a LOT better, but a solid “Two Bulls Fighting” match with some good spots- maybe I’m just judging it poorly because it lacks Fat Guy No-Sold Shoulderblocks)