All Japan Pro Wrestling Champion Carnival April 29th 2024

Welcome back for some more wonderful All Japan Pro Wrestling Champion Carnival action in beautiful…*checks notes*…Kurobe City General Sports Center Main Arena. 852 fans in attendance apparently but none of them are in the top rows directly across the camera.

Hikaru Sato, Jun Saito & MUSASHI vs. Rising HAYATO, Ryo Inoue & Yuma Anzai

Background: Hikaru, Jun, and MUSASHI are all vaguely heelish and HAYATO, Ryo, and Yuma are all vaguely faceish. Yuma and Jun have already faced each other but both are likely winners for the block and MUSASHI and HAYATO are feuding over the junior title. Oh and Hikaru is the grumpy martial arts heel junior and Ryo is the scrappy martial arts face junior. Let us go.

The Match: Jun wants Yuma to start and Anzai obliges. They’re both around the same size but Saito is bulkier. Lockup that Jun wins and messes Yuma’s hair and does his doom taunt. Yuma wins the second lockup but his clean break is met with a Jun kitchen sink knee and hairpulling before they break and square off. HAYATO and Sato come and trade technical stuff before HAYATO hits his backflip taunt, and gets ambushed. Jun works him over with a corner choke, body slam, and elbow drop while eyeballing Yuma and styling his hair. HAYATO tries to chop Jun but loses badly and the heels all step on him and use the ropes for leverage. MUSASHI comes in to do his stuff and works HAYATO over until Rising gets a springboard moonsault press and in comes Yuma. MUSASHI actually gets the better of him and Jun tags in to work over the champ. Yuma gets a German and tags in Ryo, some face triple teams have Jun in trouble for a second but Saito quickly takes care of the junior and hits a massive Psycho Break for the win.

**½

Everybody worked hard and it set up that Jun could maybe beat Yuma. Fine for an undercard tag.

Post-match there are some backstage promos that I don’t understand but Jun demolishes some onigiri.

B Block Match: Hideki Suzuki vs. Lord Crewe

Background: Both guys are fake shoot-fighters of around the same size so let’s see what happens.

The Match: Some technical stuff to start where both guys gain control. Ankle pick from Crewe, headscissors from Hideki. Both guys trade armbars and reversals until a neckbreaker and a knee drop have Hideki in control before a Crewe diving bulldog gets the American on top. Just sorta two guys trading moves so far. Hideki’s Cobra Twist has Crewe hiptoss out of it to set up his exploder suplex. But a Hideki dropkick into the Hybrid Blaster nets him a nearfall of his own. Hideki can’t get the double-arm suplex and Crewe comes back with two tornado kicks for the win.

**

Just A Match, two dudes did stuff with no real energy or urgency but they didn’t make any mistakes.

B Block Match: Hartley Jackson vs. Rei Saito

Background: Two portly loudmouth brawlers, we’re getting a bit of a mirror match here.

The Match: Both guys fire the crowd up for a bit before going for the lockup. They break it without either ceding ground and circle each other again. The second and third lockup go the same way and Hartley tries to slam Rei but Saito is just too fat. Hartley is also just too fat for Rei to slam him but a Rei shoulder block levels Jackson. Hartley fires back with some weak forearms but Rei has him matched with stiffer strikes as they duke it out. Rei gets a sloppy slam and the rope-assisted step submission as he howls and shrieks to the crowd. God bless Rei for his eternal hamminess. Jackson comes back but Rei is just too fat for the slam and falls on Hartley and continues the beating. The howling palm strikes in the corner have Hartley in trouble as this has basically been all Rei. Hartley backdrops out of a Rei piledriver and fires up the crowd before hitting some stuff. A double clothesline knocks them both down and they get back to the slugfest. Hartley finally gets the bodyslam but it doesn’t get much reaction cause he doesn’t play up finally picking up Rei. They even did the rule of three and no big moment for the slam is just shoddy wrestling. And it’s all for naught as Rei gets a running crossbody and the running palm strike to get the win.

*½

Blegh. This might be lower than it deserves but you can’t set up an entire match about how two guys are really similar but Rei is just a bit heavier and then have the bodyslam by the babyface mean nothing and it just end is lame. At least have the bodyslam hurt Jackson’s back. Blegh.

Post-match Jackson cuts a good promo about how maybe he doesn’t have it anymore but the fans shouting Jackson number one keeps him going on and how he has to prove them right.

Meanwhile Rei says something in Japanese and demolishes a beer.

A Block Match: Cyrus vs. Hokuto Omori

Background: Cyrus is a violent monster, Hokuto is a tricky jerk who likes punching people in the junk.

The Match: When Hokuto’s entrance music plays and he doesn’t come out, Cyrus wanders over and Omori tries to sneak attack him with a chair that Cyrus no sells. Well then. Omori flees inside and his forearms and running crossbody are no sold as well so the Wolf Moon of Rebellion bails under the ring to ambush Cyrus again. It does not work. Omori takes a seat in the crowd as Cyrus looks around the audience for Hokuto. When Cyrus finally finds him he throws him around and this has been very silly so far. I think Omori might win by painting a wall to make it look like a tunnel. When they finally get into the ring Cyrus misses a slingshot senton but two Hokuto low blows miss or are no sold and I’m now having the terrifying prospect of imagining where Cyrus’s block and tackle are located. A third low blow takes out the ref and Hokuto brings in a chair to blast Cyrus in the head for a very near 3. A low bridge takes Cyrus outside and I think Hokuto whiffs on a flying rana off the apron that was supposed to be countered, anyway Cyrus powerbombs Omori onto the apron and a Vader Bomb finishes off Hokuto.

**¾

Funny enough but not really a match in the traditional sense. I do like Omori expanding his cheating repertoire at least. I’m also pretty sure they botched the finish. Still, I like that Omori continues to faceplant with all his cheating and only does well when he actually plays fair.

Post-match Cyrus picks up the ref and puts him on his shoulder like Elizabeth.

Seigo Tachibana & Shin Toyama Black vs. Dan Tamura & Shotaro Ashino

Background: So this is apparently presented by Menya Yasu (though that’s probably a mistranslation from Google) for the upcoming Gaora TV Title match between Seigo and Tamura. Shin Toyama Black is new to me, but he’s wearing a mask and is handing out ramen packets to the crowd and does some Tokusatsu poses. Shin has a certain rockstar charisma to him but is playing the fool. Obviously Seigo and Dan have their beef due to the title match business.

The Match: Technical stuff from Dan and Seigo start us off but it gets chippy fast. Stalemate and they bring in Shotaro and Shin, who athletically vaults into the ring, which pops the crowd so he does it two more times. Shin takes over and does some double-teams with Seigo, dude is a natural. Tamura and Shotaro get the upper hand on him and eventually unmask Shin as Yuma Aoyagi? What a shocking and not easily foreseen happening! Yuma gets the dropkick and tags in Seigo so we can get Tamura and him brawling some more. Fun spot where Shotaro and Dan hit stereo gutwrench suplexes but Seigo stuffs the powerbomb and gets a nasty backdrop driver that Dan repays in kind. Yuma seems to have disappeared from the match but Shin comes back in to Rock Bottom Ashino. Back to Seigo and Dan as Tachibana gets the repeated running 12-6 elbows on Tamura but he blocks the last one, Tamura gets a Death Valley Driver and a gnarly powerbomb for the win.

**½

I kind of love Seigo and Dan trading pins in tag matches to set up their title match. We know what can finish both guys and they’re just raring to go at it. That Shin Toyama Black guy seemed talented, hopefully he gets picked up somewhere.

A Block Match: Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs. Ren Ayabe

Background: No real history between these guys but they’re some of the taller guys in the tournament. Ayabe is effectively eliminated from the tournament but Davey is right there in the mix.

The Match: Davey wins the first lockup, but the second is a draw and they start the shoulderblock off but Davey bails out and dropkicks Ren low and starts to work over the leg instead. Davey wraps Ayabe’s leg around the apron and goes to work on him outside, whipping him into the barricade, stomping on him, and using the barricade to work the leg. Back inside and we get some more kneework and a brief STF before Davey goes…back to the leg. Stretch muffler and this is six minutes and Ren has hit zero offensive moves. Davey goes for the powerbomb but Ren stuffs it and gets a dropkick to break up the momentum, Ren is at least limping a bit here. Ren gets a few more moves where he clutches his knee afterwards and we get a slugfest into a fight over a brainbuster which is won by Davey. The followup legdrop from DBSJ is missed and we get another Ren dropkick into his own brainbuster but Davey cuts off the missile dropkick with a superplex and then a truly hideous diving headbutt for the win.

*

Fittingly enough for the son of a Bulldog, woof. I don’t think anything about this worked, at all. Davey working the knee made sense but Ren is too green and awkward to sell it properly and all of his offense involves his legs so he could just do nothing. Plus they’re both kind of dull and I absolutely hate the diving headbutt. Not good at all.

B Block Match: Suwama vs. Ryuki Honda

Background: Well they’re both dumpy brawlers, only separated by 20+ years of age and like 4 inches of height for Suwama. Still, this is gonna be a fight. No real hate between them, but definitely no love.

The Match: Suwama wins the amateur section at the beginning so Ryuki fires off the ropes and grabs a headlock and Suwama breaks and then challenges the youngster to a shoulderblock battle that Suwama wins and then takes it outside. Ryuki counters a whip and sends Suwama crashing and we get Honda’s antics as he works over Suwama’s arm with the barricade and preens to the crowd. Back inside and we get more armwork from Ryuki as he mocks the vet by grabbing his own arm and wincing in pain. Honda jaws with the ref as he continues to work the arm. Ryuki gets caught napping though and a Suwama shoulderblock sets up a belly-to-belly suplex to send Honda flying. Suwama’s damaged arm means Ryuki can break the choke sleeper with ease and a spinebuster knocks down the big guy. We’re back to a slugfest where Suwama’s an one-armed man and Ryuki picks him apart and follows it with a German and a spear to set up his Final Vent but Suwama escapes and hits his own, nastier German. Suwama loads up a lariat but Ryuki brings him down with a Fujiwara armbar and Dan Tamura looks ready to throw in the towel but we get a ropebreak. Ryuki gets his own lariat and a weak Suwama kickout have the vet looking dead, Ryuki goes to pick him up and a Suwama small package gets the desperation victory.

***

It’s remarkable how much better this match was from the prior match. First of all, Suwama is a masterful seller, and Ryuki is a wild, charismatic guy that was having fun taunting his opponent to keep us engaged even during the slower, lay on their arm bits. A veteran being torn apart with the youngsters ferocity but sneaking out a win with cunning also helps put both of them over. Good stuff.

Post-match Ryuki begs to the ref that he miscounted but gets ignored. Suwama meanwhile is handed a big poster by somebody as he remembers to still sell the arm, that’s a pro.

A Block Match: Kento Miyahara vs. Kuroshio TOKYO Japan

Background: So these are basically the two biggest hams on the roster, overflowing with charisma and personality. This match could honestly be a total comedy goof fest, it could be Kento playing face to Kuroshio’s sneaky heel, or Kento could be a bully to Kuroshio’s overmatched junior, lots of ways it can go but I’m going to bet it’ll be a ridiculous amount of fun.

The Match: So Kento is already upset at all of Kuroshio’s hotdogging and grandstanding and is rolling his eyes and complaining to the ref at the whole thing. Kuroshio comes back and does the second entrance, rolls across the ring and hops out to grab a cheer towel and pose and Miyahara is fuming. The match FINALLY begins and we get them continuing to circle and pose for a good while before finally locking up and Kento just bullrushes Kuroshio into the rope and gives a very delayed break. Second lock-up and Kuroshio reverses it in the ropes and slaps Kento! Kuroshio kip-ups out of a few Kento shoulderblocks so Kento takes him outside and delivers a headbutt and then throws Kuroshio into the ringpost and the dude takes an absolutely incredible bump, running into it and then flipping inside out. The beating continues, interspersed with Miyahara posing to the crowd. We get some comedy with Kento stepping on Kuroshio’s hair so he can’t kip-up. Kento keeps up the heeling delivering some big strikes and the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER!!! But a handful of Superkicks sets up Kuroshio’s comeback. Jacket punches! Rope-assisted gamengiri! Springboard flying headscissors! Asai Moonsault!?!?! And then Kuroshio rolls Kento back inside for a Swanton? That’s more high-flying moves in 30 seconds than most All Japan cards have in entirety. Kento comes back with the two dropkicks, and Kuroshio takes a hilarious floating sideways bump on the kick to the head. Both stare each other down and have a pose-off as they get dueling chants from the audience. They slug it out some more and trade kicks but a behind-the-back piledriver from Kuroshio sets up the Buzzsaw Kick (which I think he explicitly picked up from Tajiri) but a moonsault misses and they reset. Blackout from Kento but he can’t get the Shutdown and Kuroshio gets some very close nearfalls on some rollups (though Kento counters a cazadora into a sick German off of one of them) but eventually one last Blackout sets up the Shutdown German and Kento wins.

****¼

The beauty of Kento’s current gimmick is that he can have matches where he plays arrogant, rude heel that’s trying to big-league his opponent and it fits completely with his heroic babyface role at the same time. He gave Kuroshio a ton here and Kuroshio was more than game for it. He busted out some legitimately impressive high-flying and it being the trick taking the bigger guy down was a nice story as Kuroshio has that Orange Cassidy-esque quality of combining his clowning into his actual serious wrestling attempts.

Anyway, onto the new standings!

A Block:

Kento Miyahara 10
Davey Boy Smith Jr. 8
Shotaro Ashino 6
Yuma Aoyagi 6
Cyrus 4
Kuroshiro TOKYO Japan 4
Hokuto Omori 2
Ren Ayabe 2

Kento has one match left against DBSJ and is in with a win or a tie (not like I’ve ever seen one in the CC). DBSJ has Cyrus and Kento left and weirdly the Cyrus match doesn’t matter, cause if he loses to Cyrus but beats Kento he has the tiebreaker over him, but if he beats Cyrus and loses to Kento it also wouldn’t matter cause Kento would have the tiebreaker over him. Everybody else is out.

B Block:

Jun Saito 8
Yuma Anzai 8
Hideki Suzuki 6
Lord Crewe 6
Rei Saito 6
Suwama 6
Ryuki Honda 2
Hartley Jackson 0

Jun has two matches left, against Suwama and Rei, if he wins out he’s in with 12 points, if he splits the wins he can still win the block if Yuma loses his next one. Yuma has one match left against Hideki, if he wins and Jun only wins one of his next two he’s in since he has the tiebreaker. For Hideki, if he beats Yuma and Jun loses out we get a weird three way tie because they all have a win over each other. Lord Crewe needs Yuma to not win any more matches and win his next two and he’s in. Rei can afford Jun to win a match and has the tiebreaker over Yuma, so if he beats Ryuki and Jun he’s in. Suwama needs Anzai to lose and to win out and he’s in. Ryuki and Hartley are done but assuredly one is going to play spoiler.

Anyway sorry about the delay on this one but we’re almost to the end. See you all soon.