Demolition vs. The Brain Busters (and other Dream Matches!)

Wrestling’s most unpleasant assholes challenge against the WWF Tag Team Champions!

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a sequel to last week’s Saturday Night’s Main Event review, as I look at a rematch between Demolition and the Brain Busters for the WWF Tag Team Titles! Following that, it’s another Bill Goldberg squash, as he faces the Flock’s Sick Boy on WCW Thunder! Then it’s a bizarre WWF Action Zone match as Mabel & Adam Bomb prep for the Survivor Series in 1994 by teaming up against Barry Horowitz & Reno Riggins! Then we hit one of those dreaded “this is what Nitro became” matches, as the nWo B-Team fighting leaves us with VINCENT vs. HORACE HOGAN on the A-show. Tremendous. And finally it’s more Blitzkrieg goodness as he faces Kaz Hayashi on WCW Worldwide.

WWF TAG TEAM TITLES:
BEST TWO OF THREE FALLS:
DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash) vs. THE BRAIN BUSTERS (Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard, w/ Bobby Heenan):
(WWF TV, 1989)
* It’s time for a sequel to their Saturday Night’s Main Event fuck finish match! We start with a pair of promos- Tully subtly puts over Demolition as having “slammed the door” on every possible team over three years, but announce that they’ll be different. Arn adds that all the “spoonheads” will roll out of bed Monday morning, open the sports page, and find “BIG. BOLD. PRINT!” of NEW Tag Team Champions- bitchin’ promo. Ax & Smash counter by proclaiming death to Bobby Heenan and saying he can’t interfere for three falls in a row- when asked about strategy by Mean Gene, Smash says “It’s called TOTAL DESTRUCTION for the Brain Busters!”, so clearly he’s thought this out. Mean Gene: “This could prove to be the greatest victory for the good guys since the invasion of Grenada!”. We see the SNME clip of Ax throwing the referee and getting DQ’d, to the disgust of Jesse Ventura. The Busters are in matching trunks with white on front and red in the back- they sure did switch colors a lot.

First Fall: Tully decides to cheap-shot Smash on the apron to start, which doesn’t go his way when he bails to the floor and Smash is right there waiting for him- he gets press-slammed into the ring and hilariously bounces between Ax & Smash as they tee off on him. Tully pushes Ax to the Buster corner but Ax actually fights off BOTH guys and knocks them around- he gets dragged to the floor but reverses a whip so Tully has to duck under Arn’s clothesline and eats SMASH’s, then Ax clotheslines down Arn as the Busters are back in their usual “First-Half Ass-Kicking” portion of the match. Both guys get whipped off the ropes but wisely bail for a breather while Demolition soaks in the fan reaction. Arn tries to brawl with Smash and does a great buy-eyed sell when Smash strangles him, then does a couple more cartoon bumps and gets lain across the top rope so they can beat the shit out of him some more. Arn flopping off the top rope is terrific- PERFECT death-spiral. Arn escapes and Tully brawls with Smash like a moron and has to eyepoke his way out of a bearhug, and then gets a blind tag and dropkicks Arn onto Smash out of a slam. Smash tries to fight back, but ends up in the Double-A Spinebuster, but just like last match LAUNCHES Arn off on the cover! Heenan is frustrated but the Busters attempt a double-team, only for Ax to grab Tully and Smash to stun-gun Arn… for three (5:00)! First fall Demolition!

Second Fall: We’re back from break with Demolition pounding Arn into jelly as Ventura puts over the unlikelihood of ANYONE getting two straight falls on these guys. Heenan mutters “… dammit!” on-camera while Arn flops around and Vince & Jess talk about this being Demolition’s kind of match- the Busters allowed it to become a brawl. Vince revels in Heenan’s disappointment as the Demos grind away on Arn with holds, but Arn spikes the throat and Tully comes in with boots, then slingshots Ax into the bottom rope throat-first, followed with Arn’s elbow to the same spot. Heenan just paintbrushes Ax on the apron to lure in Smash and let the Busters double-team like crazy, but Ax manages to nail Tully and tags out- Smash is the most natural hot-tag guy you can get as he just annihilates the Busters. Arn hits the floor and Tully gets press-slammed with both Demos in there, and Heenan jumps up on the apron and gets destroyed by a shot into the post! The crowd goes NUTS for that, and Andre the Giant (in a blue singlet!) comes down to check on his manager while Demolition relentlessly double-teams Tully Blanchard to the admonishment of the ref, who insists one of them leave! They hit Demolition Decapitation… but the ref won’t count! He Disqualifies Demolition for refusing to have one head to the apron (4:26)! We’re tied (1-1)! The crowd boos but Ventura crows (having warned of this very same thing a minute earlier- this ain’t AEW!) while Arn attempts to revive a deceased Blanchard.

Third Fall: We’re evened up with a grinning Giant sitting in a chair on the floor now, “checking on things” I’m sure. Tully’s woes continue as the Demos tee off on him, then Smash tosses him to the floor. Tully eats a back elbow, but goes to the eyes and smashes Ax into ARN, who sells so much he can barely get into the ring off a tag. Ax still manages to fire back and atomic drops Arn into the corner, but they collide and it’s a double-down. A fresh Smash destroys Tully, throwing him to the corner and then clotheslining him down. Arn & Ax fight on the floor and then enter the ring, Demolition again taking the advantage, but Heenan pops onto the apron to ruin the ref’s chances of maintaining order- he gets entirely distracted, and that allows Andre to shove a chair into the ring- Tully grabs it and just WAFFLES Smash on the top of the head with it when he attempts a cover, and Arn rolls over- Brain Busters with the Tag Titles at (3:07)!! Bobby Heenan celebrates immediately, now managing the IC Champion and Tag Champions at the same time. It’s very clear on the replay that Tully just dropped the chair right on Smash with that- a Smash shoot interview apparently confirms he got hurt for real and that Tully didn’t apologize (don’t look so surprised).

Very fun little match, especially the all-action first fall. Demolition were SO good and even now can be a bit underrated- they were a lot better than the Road Warriors, and had this great kind of “overwhelming force” aspect to their offense. They’d beat your ass in the ring, then chase you to the floor and beat your ass out there, then slam you BACK into the ring, where they’d haul you onto the top rope so they could both beat your ass simultaneously. It was just this constant stream of offense and made them great fun as babyface ass-kickers. The Busters were also fantastic- their whole routine is to lose the first half of a match, then cheat to take over and control- this time they barely even got THAT, but were amazing pinballing heel doofuses- watching Tully wail in agony and Arn’s head wobble as he collapses is great- A-tier heel bumping and selling. But Demolition get super reckless in the second fall and are rightly DQ’d (WWF in those times did NOT allow for minutes straight of double-teaming), and that costs them the second fall. And of course it’s all as unfair as possible, as they’re goaded into getting DQ’d and then lose via chairshot by an extra guy being out there- it really stacks up the miscarriages of justice and REALLY makes you want to see the Demos get revenge. I would have MAYBE liked the Busters to score a cheap rollup (maybe via feet on the ropes) for their first fall to make the win stronger but whatever- rules are rules.

Rating: ***1/2 (great stuff all around- top-tier “Asskicking Babyface” offense and the Brain Busters are amazing bumping heels for them)

Sick Boy used to get a lot of attention as a “shoulda been” or “rising star” online back in the day. Nowadays it’s pretty clear he was super-limited and never had so much as a *** match, but back then it didn’t take a lot to get people excited about a flashy wrestler.

U.S. TITLE:
BILL GOLDBERG vs. SICK BOY (w/ The Flock):
(WCW Thunder, May 11th 1998)
* Goldberg has beaten Raven for the US Title, but the feud still continues, Goldberg being made to take on all the members of the Flock. So now it’s Sick Boy’s turn- he’s in his usual flannel & jorts gear while twitchy-ass Goldberg is over, but the crowd is much more subdued than normal. Possibly because they’ve been watching WCW Thunder.

Goldberg tries to go off the ropes, but Sick Boy oddly just divebombs him before he can, slugging away and then going to a DOUBLE NERVEHOLD of all things, Goldberg going “Come ONNNNNNNN!!” and slowly fighting up, but Sick Boy again pounces, this time with knees as the crowd heat is fake as hell- they’re ROARING periodically but I see it’s the usual standard Thunder crowd. Sick Boy fires off some dropkicks before slingshotting out of the corner with a back elbow, but Goldberg “counters” him (kinda hooking the arm as he dodges so it looks almost like a slam reversal) and hits a press slam, waking up some of the crowd. He drops Sick Boy straight down and then follows with a pretty bad Spear (hitting him diagonally and more like “pushing” him), and finishes with the Jackhammer at (2:31). Hilariously, the Flock (including 7-foot Reese) threatens to come inside the ring, but only Riggs gets sacrificed, as Goldberg easily powerslams him off his back and then appears to snap his neck like they do in old Hollywood movies (lol okay that’s a new one in wrestling) and the entire stable wusses out and bails.

A pretty basic “absorbs offense and then kills the guy” Goldberg match, Sick Boy at least keeping it mostly mobile via his charging in and throwing varied strikes. Still a nothing contest, with Goldberg practically sleepwalking through it instead of being his usual manic, twitchy self during the bout.

Rating: 1/2* (dramatically phone-in performance from Goldberg here)

A year later and Mabel would kill Adam Bomb’s singles run for good, but for now, they’re friends!

ADAM BOMB & MABEL (w/ Oscar) vs. BARRY HOROWITZ & RENO RIGGINS:
(WWF Action Zone, Nov. 6th 1994)
* … a MABEL AND ADAM BOMB TEAM?!? I had no idea such a thing existed! This is in anticipation of the Survivor Series, where Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Corporation (Bam Bam Bigelow/Bundy/Tatanka/Heavenly Bodies) took on Guts & Glory (Luger/Mabel/Bomb/Smoking Gunns). Well I guess that fits, then. DiBiase himself is doing commentary alongside Monsoon, who is hilarious as he gets to his feet and shouts encouragement for Mabel, then tries to mimic some arm movements while DiBiase begs Gorilla to not embarrass him. Bomb is wearing something I’ve never seen before- a black singlet with orange “toxic waste” trim and mushroom clouds on the side? The clouds are technicolor so they just look like pretty flowers, though.

Bomb starts off actually doing chain-wrestling with Barry, doing go-behinds and snapmares & junk, leading to Barry hitting a jawjacker out of a chinlock and working over his giant opponent, then taking the ref so Riggins can cheat. Bomb side slams him out of an International, and he tags Mabel to a HUGE POP… is what I would say if that crowd heat was remotely real, but you can tell from the hard cam it’s just piped in. Mabel swats Barry down as Monsoon goes “Whoops there it is!” and Monsoon attempting to quote hip-hop is the thing I never knew I needed. Mabel misses a legdrop and Barry covers for two, then Riggins just runs in and tries his own cover- Monsoon admonishing the ref for counting- and then BOTH GUYS pile up on Mabel (WHY IS THE REF STILL COUNTING?) but he launches them off with cartoonish zeal, and they charge in for a double-shoulderblock that flattens both of them and merely leaves Mabel reeling, but he catches them trying again with a DOUBLE lucha armdrag! WOO LUCHA MABEL! He tags in Bomb and slugs Barry in the gut for the Pumphandle Slam of Bomb’s at (2:03) and we’re out.

Hilariously weird match, as MABEL AND ADAM BOMB are playing mostly defensively against two of the dweebiest heels in the company, which doesn’t make them look good at all. Riggins was a great boob, though, as even though he never once tags in every time something happens to him he goes tumbling around like a dingus, acting all befuddled and like he just can’t handle such strong dudes. His selling of that armdrag was great. Bomb & Mabel did okay at their selling, but all their offense was just overhand clubbing.

Rating: 3/4* (perfectly acceptable jobber squash)

VINCENT vs. HORACE HOGAN:
(WCW Nitro)
* The B-Team EXPLODES! Horace vs. Vincent! Truly a ratings bonanza to be had here! Vincent gets on the mic and declares that Hollywood Hogan put him in charge, making him the “Boss” versus the “Nephew!”, but gets too aggressive and Horace clocks him. Horace is now in a black singlet and looks like a doofus- Vincent is in his perennial nWo shirt & blue jeans.

Horace clobbers Vincent repeatedly, then counters a hiptoss to bring him over the top, then a turnbuckle shot to do that to Vincent. Vincent goes into the stairs as Heenan & Schiavone debate how the nature of men in power, as the B-Team guys are all going mad with power trying to take control of their faction. Vincent scores a necksnap to come back, and follows with a neckbreaker, lucha armdrag & 2nd-rope fistdrop. Heenan actually declares himself a fan of Horace, figuring “he’s gonna be great!” (remind me not to get Bobby to pick my lottery tickets) and they have a decent brawl on the floor, leading to Horace getting his boot up in the ring. Horace powers Vincent up into a vertical suplex, but they do a weird international where Vincent shoulderblocks him right against the ropes and they both go down. Stevie Ray’s out here to “observe” (ie. start shit), then shoves Horace’s ass so he winds up in an inside cradle for the three at (3:50). Vincent wins!- but Stevie immediately puts the boots to Vincent, and in comes Brian Adams as the potential workrate in here is just god-tier, you know? Tragically the clip on YouTube cuts off here, so let’s just assume this was a business-changing amazing brawl. Gotta love Heenan deciding to get behind Horace a minute before he loses to FRIGGIN’ VINCENT.

Actually not a bad match! It was simple and pretty short, but nobody screwed up and they just did the basic “you do some; I do some” stuff and threw a bit of half-decent offense. Hardly amazing and the finish was weak (like Stevie BARELY gave Horace a bum-push and that’s the pin?) but I was expecting to deliver some sass and they were quite acceptable.

Rating: *1/2 (not bad! Not great, and too short with a weak finish, but they did okay!)

BLITZKRIEG vs. KAZ HAYASHI:
(WCW Worldwide, June 9th 1999)
* More late-stage WCW with the famous Blitzkrieg, here dealing with Ultimo Dragon trainee Kaz Hayashi. Blitzkrieg’s in the usual red/black and Kaz is in bisected black/blue tights.

Blitzkrieg controls to start, doing a long headlock into an acrobatic spin out of basic stuff, then eats a wheel kick from Kaz, then a delayed elbow (Rock-style) and baseball-slide dropkick. Blitzkrieg hits a spinning cradle for two, but gets their wires crossed and Kaz slides through and superkicks him. Kaz does some basics to settle it down, but Blitzkrieg dodges and springboard dropkicks him to the floor, following with a pescado. Blitzkrieg springboards into the ring and takes a mid-air dropkick reversal, then catches him with a kick and a slingshot DDT from the apron for two. Blitz reverses a whip to a run-up backflip then dropkick in the corner, but goes up with a Super Rana attempt, Kaz hanging on so he crashes. Blitzkrieg quickly lays flat for a Flying Senton and Kaz wins at (5:07). Yeah, the writing was definitely on the wall for Blitzkrieg here, getting pinned by a low-end guy on WORLDWIDE.

Super-generic, basic Cruiserweight match, as they probably don’t communicate well and repeatedly have to settle it into “just stomping” or “just chops” because they are otherwise gonna start running into each other. You get a lot of “stop and start” and repeated spots because Blitzkrieg was flippy, but limited, pretty much only having “backdrop to the apron” as a set-up for most of his stuff.

Rating: *3/4 (fine, but uninteresting. Basic stuff as cruisers went and they weren’t really on the same page)