Anatomy of a Disaster: Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Ray

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER: SCOTT STEINER vs. STEVIE RAY:
-It’s time for another Anatomy of a Disaster! This one is a special request from our very own Oprah (who goes by variants of that name in the threads most of the time)- a Title vs. Career Nitro bout between newly-crowned WCW World Champion Scott Steiner, and Stevie Ray, late of Harlem Heat!

THE STAGE: WCW Monday Nitro (Nov. 27th 2000)

THE PERFORMERS:
Scott Steiner: I’ve gone over Scottie’s career in this column before, but at this point, he had finally been made a standard Main Eventer in WCW, at last being elevated to that position after years of stop & start pushes, and him puttering around the midcard since his heel turn when he first joined the nWo. Scott had finally gained the charisma of a top guy, mixing his psychotic personality with some entertaining mannerisms and a proper ego… but in the process had done so many steroids that he’d lost so many steps in the ring that he no longer resembled the same man who had blown minds in the early 1990s in any way, shape or form. At this point, he was bloated, veiny and gross (denying steroid abuse with “they’re all just jealous!”), and had slowed down into a basic brawler.

Stevie Ray: Stevie’s career has largely been summed up as “the Marty Jannetty of Harlem Heat”, having been a major player in the “nWo B-Team”- like Scottie, he’d turned on his brother and joined the nWo, but as he was a poor worker and medium talent otherwise, he hadn’t gotten a push and was instead just a tough-talking midcarder who hit people with a slapjack, heading up the “Black & White” sub-faction after all the cool guys had joined the Wolfpac and Hogan’s followers kept the old colors, then a team (which was called the “B-Team” ON CAMERA) of subordinates like Vincent, Brian Adams, etc. By this point he’d been doing commentary already (with lines such as “Suckas gotsta know” and talking over promos), and he was only wrestling a couple of times a month. In fact, this was his first match in two months, according to Cagematch (his last was another bout against Steiner in September).

-So on paper, this is a standard-issue title defense against a guy with no chance. But it has Stevie’s career being on the line for drama. Not the WORST thing you can put on TV (it’s got the World Champion beating a guy with at least some shred of value, being that Stevie is a former tag champion and a huge, badass-looking dude). Oprah set me straight on the story: they did a Hell In A Cell knock-off called “Caged Heat” the PPV before, where Scott defeated Booker T for the belt- his first and only ever WCW Title, in fact- and now Stevie (who loves his brother again, this being after their infamous feud over the letter “T”), is out for revenge. Solid idea for a one-off match! Ric Flair, meanwhile, is the TV President and threatens to bring a Rock/Stone Cold-level talent out to show Steiner what’s what. Remember that. Also note that Stevie’s career is not mentioned once on commentary that I can recall until the very end.

WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
TITLE vs. CAREER:
SCOTT STEINER (w/ Midajah) vs. STEVIE RAY:
* Stevie comes out to the Harlem Heat music, wearing black & white bisected tights with white flames on the black side. Steiner comes out with fitness model Midajah (looks fit, but more plastic than woman) carrying a lead pipe, having reduced his stable of “Freaks” down to just the one. Scottie’s in red shorts.

We start hot immediately, with Stevie jumping Scott in the aisle and beating him down. Midajah keeps readying the pipe, and sure enough she cracks it across Stevie’s upper back to put him down. Hey- that’s why you don’t jump guys before the match- it’s all legal! Good overhand swing too, I’ll give her that. Scott, none the worse for wear, just gets up and throws a boot, then Stevie does the single worst guardrail bump I’ve ever seen in my life, getting “whipped” across and sorta jogging and then leaning down over the rail. Steiner adds boots and overhand shots and slams Stevie’s head into the railing a few times while Mark Madden goes all-in on calling him the reincarnation of Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler and Alexander the Great, and Stevie’s rolled into the ring as the ref finally rings the bell. Steiner talks shit and pounds away, Stevie countering a whip with a bad pump kick but ending up in an inverted atomic drop. Steiner with a lariat and then his great “tips over bcuz of his biceps” muscle-kissing pose into an elbow, then goes “Not yet, big boy!” and rolls off the cover to do push-ups instead. Hahah see this is why he was a main eventer now.

Scott throws more shots in the corner, and when Stevie makes the comeback, just kicks him in the balls. Scott dumps him and again it’s another piss-poor guardrail bump as Stevie looks like he can barely move, just hunched over and breathing heavily- dude is gassed to shit. Scott drills him with a chair a few times (hey, it’s legal on the floor, I guess!), Stevie doing the bare minimum to “sell” those with little shivers, then gets rolled back in so he can take a knee, then go lie in the corner again while Scott throws boots. haha I think Stevie must have blown himself up on the crowd brawl 20 seconds in, or his whole body just seized up due to injury or being so out of ring-shape. Stevie gets whipped to the corner (crying out “HUHHHH!” to gather some air), slowwwwwllly bumps into it, but avoids Scott… and all he can muster is walking up to him and whacking him on the back of the head. He sells this remarkable comeback to the fans by holding himself up using the top rope and standing there doing nothing. Then he puts his hand on Scott’s back, whispers something to him, and throws a forearm that also conveniently lets him hold himself up. Stevie delicately puts his arms around Scott’s waist so Scott can fire off some elbows, then carefully put him in position for the belly-to-belly suplex, getting two.

Stevie, finally able to do something, is able to take another corner whip but elbow Scott out of there, then hit a standing side kick. He walks up with a blank look on his face and hits the weakest knee-shot ever into a floatover DDT (at least picking a move the seller has to do all the work on). He stands up and barely even manages to taunt (“come on”) before Midajah grabs his leg for the distraction. Stevie “goes for her” (by leaning slowly down and pointing his finger at her) and Scott clobbers him, leading to a horrifying suplex where Scott basically has to dead-ass the giant Stevie Ray into the air and drop him in a brainbuster! Scott taunts him and hits his rib-breaker before going up for the obvious reversal, leaping right into the Book End (rock bottom), putting both guys down. His brother’s move! He pretty much just “lifted” him a foot and Scott did all the work but PSYCHOLOGY! Stevie does the weakest cover ever, getting only two.

Stevie is still moving hyper-slowly as he barely gets up and throws the limpest, weakest kick, which Scott was supposed to catch but Stevie was too early and dropped his foot down, so Scott has to lean all the way down to grab his leg, THEN spin him, then hit a short lariat to knock him over. Haha just do a different spot! Mark Madden finally bluntly says “Stevie’s blown up- Stevie’s dead-tired! He couldn’t even get that leg up!” and says Scott’s just going to play with him, and Scott Hudson, bless him, tries to put over them just having worn each other out. Stevie hits him with a chair on the floor and rolls him back in, charging in (AGAIN?) and going into a boot (thankfully Scott throws it high enough he can still hit Stevie, who’s barely hunched over) and Scott hits a big overhead suplex that Stevie only kicks out of in theory (he basically just shudders). Even Hudson calls out the weak kickout and says “He’s SPENT!”, as Stevie gets whipped off the ropes- and by “whipped” I mean he slowly jogs over to them, bumps into the top rope, and leans against it for a kick, smacks Scott on the back, and hits the Slapjack (pedigree)… then arbitrarily gets off him at “1” and Scott awkwardly then “kicks out” (OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING), and Stevie climbs the corner. Midajah distracts him from there, and Scott hits an electric chair drop and puts on the Steiner Recliner (camel clutch) and Stevie’s out at (7:03) after some of the slowest wrestling ever. Scott is triumphant, Stevie’s career is over (Hudson FINALLY mentions the stip here), but then Ric Flair’s promised agent comes out… and it’s SID VICIOUS! EQUAL TO THE ROCK AND STONE COLD!

OH GOD THIS WAS SO BAD. Like it STARTS OFF bad and really could never have been a good match anyways, but almost instantly it’s very clear that something is desperately wrong, as Stevie loses any sense of “snap” to his moves and is left leaning against the ropes and barely being able to sell because he’s so done. Poor Scott has to stand there and throw shots at an immobile opponent, and because both are so limited they have to keep using Irish whips for all their transition spots, which means a wiped-out Stevie has to RUN, leading to endless instances of him slowly jogging or “power-walking” off the ropes and slowly deflecting himself off for whatever the move was supposed to be, leading to business-exposing kicks that make Stevie, a 300-lb. tough guy, look weak and soft.

You know shit’s rough when SCOTT STEINER has to control a match and do everything himself. Stevie must have been injured or just physically incapable from the start, because as soon as the crowd brawl is done, all he can do is slowly heft himself around and take “walking bumps” into the railing and corner. He’s so gassed he can’t even SELL right, just hunching over or lying against the ropes, barely reacting even when he’s hit with a chair. Even basic stuff appears to be impossible, and his “comebacks” have no energy to them because Stevie can’t hit them with any impact, or even gesture to the fans or Scott with any character stuff, because he’s trying so hard not to blow up. I assumed he was blown up at first, and Madden calls that out on commentary, BUT he’s moving so stiffly he might just have a back or hip injury. He still took some pretty big bumps to the mat and didn’t wince as bad when he did it, though.

And like… GRAB A HOLD! I know restholds were passé at this point and possibly even against the rules, but if Stevie is that outta gas, maybe stop whipping him off the ropes and just chinlock him for a 1-minute rest so he can get SOMETHING back. Or, if anyone is aware of Stevie’s limitations, don’t go to 7 minutes. Scott, to be fair, did pretty okay with what he had- he kept his focus and didn’t try a bunch of things Stevie couldn’t do, aside from the endless running spots.

Rating: DUD (one of the worst instances I’ve ever seen of a guy being unable to do ANYTHING)

The Fallout: This match is, in fact, Stevie Ray’s last WCW match ever. Nitro lasted until the next March, but Stevie didn’t wrestle again until the next year, facing Jerry Lawler of all people in Australia’s WWA promotion. He’s as good as retired after that.

Mitigating Factors: I’m not sure, but Stevie was either having one foot out the door or was injured at this point, because he is gone for an entire year (warning: only according to Cagematch, which can be iffy). But having him so obviously blown up or unable to compete is an embarrassment out here, especially since he’s supposed to be pissed at Scott Steiner and wanting revenge. His hilarious “running” seems like either bad cardio and/or real injury, as his ultra-ginger leaning into the ropes would imply he’s feeling something in his back or side. After all, if he was blown up, he’d probably at least lean into the ropes for leverage- here, he’s just holding himself up as if he can barely move.

Another factor is the match-time. This being the main event, they can’t restructure the show to fill time or just screw around post-match and let the commentators cover for it. They’re set at 7 minutes and there’s probably no getting out of that.

Overall: One of the worst matches I’ve ever seen in terms of just having one guy so out of shape he shouldn’t have even been out there. Poor Stevie Ray was just DONE and couldn’t manage the slightest thing, leading to multiple business-exposing moments and the worst running in history. Like I’ve seen sweaty, gross Mabel and Yokozuna put more effort into running off the ropes and taking bumps. I mean, what was Stevie even doing hitting the Slapjack and then getting off for no reason after not even covering with anything but an arm? Or the 2-3 kicks that had no speed or lift on them?

I think the only thing keeping this from entering “Wrestling Legend” as an all-timer is the fact that it was on the death-era of WCW Nitro when nobody was watching- if this had made PPV during a bigger era we’d still be talking about it. This was MUCH worse than Hogan/Warrior II or the Gayda Incident.