Here’s a good one from a relatively low-key uploader, with the tracking all over the place, but we would’ve watched through a snowstorm when we really loved it. Late 1987, running up the inaugural Survivor Series.
Hosted by Mean Gene.
Rick Rude and Hercules vs. Scott Casey and Jim Evans
Mel Phillips must’ve spied a kid in flip-flops in the front row, because it’s one of his classic lost trains of thought in the introduction. From Wrestling Challenge, with Sensational Sherri sitting in for Bobby with Gorilla. Rude has got the Stripper music, but hasn’t refined the mic work fully yet, so no “Hit the music!” or hip wiggling at this point. I was saying the other day that Rude is the kind of guy who by this point should not be in a tag team, but for the purpose of getting two guys out in one segment with no major issue it doesn’t hurt here. Herc starts with Casey and goes for an atomic drop, but Casey blocks and tags in Evans. Herc muscles him up into a press slam, then takes him down with his swinging clothesline when he comes back up, which was a beauty. Rude comes in and copies Herc’s last two moves. Was somebody subconsciously thinking that nobody would notice if they switched from him teaming with a Fernandez to a Hernandez? Herc gets a side backbreaker to set up Rude’s standing backbreaker submission. Would’ve been cool if Casey had run in and Herc cut him off by putting him up into his version.
The WWF is On Tour, featuring the likes of Bam Bam Bigelow, the Hulkster, Strike Force, Randy Savage and the Million Dollar Man!
The Atari 7800 – play Ball Blazer and Karateka!
Skittles – bite size candy!
The Hidden – get ready for a new breed of criminal!
Oxy Clean – thicker pads, deeper cleaning cleanser!
Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. Van Van Horne
From Memphis Memphis, Tennessee. I heard he was out out driving the other other day, in his new new car, and there was an old old lady crossing crossing the road, and he tried to peep peep at at her, but he had a problem problem with his… breaks. Bruti is pretty over here, blocking a kick, but getting a knee to the guts. He ducks a clothesline and get his own. Horne pokes the eyes and Irish whips Beefcake into the corner, but Brutus reverses it into a different setup into the sleeper for the lights out. Bye bye mullet mullet, which he actually takes off with the shears this time.
Gene brings in Sir Oliver Humperdink on behalf of Paul Orndorff and Bam Bam Bigelow to talk about the main event of the Survivor Series. At this point Billy Graham was still on the team before being retired by Butch Reed and the One Man Gang. Bam Bam, a man of few words, comes in to close it.
Castrol GTX – maximum protection against viscosity, which is one hell of a word to get into a commercial!
Skittles – we’ve done that already!
Thompson’s Water Seal – a great defence against repair expense!
Lee – the jeans that make a kid break dance when they’re in the washing machine!
Duston’s – don’t worry, we’ve just moved to the other side of the car park!
One Man Gang vs. Rick Gantner
Slick’s out with no suit jacket on for some reason, looking like the most gangsta snooker player. Gantner would go on to be heel biker Bull Pain. He just ragdoll bumps for Gang, while Jack Kruger, the world’s loudest referee chastises Gang. Imagine asking him to pass along a spot: “HE SAID IT’S TIME TO BLADE!” Gourdbuster finishes for Gang.
A Moment with Gene Okerlund, with G. Gordon Liddy on the other end of the phone (yeah, right!). No comment on the issues between Randy Savage and the Honky Tonk Man and Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. “Don’t try to kayfabe me!”, says Gene. Alright, I thought this was a total waste of time until we got that.
Call Freddy Krueger – prepare to be scared!
Kmart – America’s favourite store!
Hostess – what a sweet sensation!
Choco Bliss- also a sweet sensation!
Starburst – better when they were Opal Fruits!
Ken Patera, Billy Jack Haynes and Don Muraco vs. Bob Orton Jr. and the Islanders
Joined in progress, with Bruce Prichard, Mike McGuirk and Nick Bockwinkel on commentary to add to the weirdness. Orton and Haku wear down the newly turned Muraco. Everyone comes in as Bob sets up Don for the superplex. Patera gets a shot in with his cast to put Don on top for the pinfall victory. Well, that was a lot of nothing.
Interview segment with Craig DeGeorge bringing out Hulk Hogan to talk about “the Survival Series”. As weird as when people were working “Rumble Royal” out of their systems.
Selsun blue – no dandruff!
Little Kings – it’s too good to be beer!
NESN – if you like college sports!
Lee – he’s still dancing!
To the arena, in probably the most famous moment from the episode, as Ted Dibiase have five hundred bucks and a basketball in their hands. So, Ted invites a little kid up to bounce it fifteen times consecutively to earn the reward, which he does for fourteen before Dibiase kicks it out and sends him packing penniless. Big boos and they still talk about it today, even more than Rob Van Dam kissing his feet.
The WWF is On Tour, including in Battle Creek, Michigan, the aforementioned RVD’s hometown.
Nerf Indoor Golf – from Parker Brothers!
Clearasil – quit that zit!
Kmart – repeat!
Vivarin – stronger than two cups of coffee!
Aqua Velva – for dumb linesmen!
The British Bulldogs vs. Brian Costello and “The Crippler” Rip Oliver
Oliver apparently strongly and conclusively took himself off Portland TV as the booker and lead heel, then apparently upset someone in his new job at the WWF and was soon doing TV jobs as himself and the Super Ninja before he had to go back with his hat in hand to Don Owen. The New Dream Team target Davey and Dyno in relation to the match they were all involved in at the Survivor Series, and apparently they were supposed to be the heels that dognapped Matilda until Greg blew his fuse and temporarily quit to go back to Jim Crockett until Vince promised him he’d get a new single push and not have to team with Dino any more, which drive anyone nuts. Dyno snap suplexes Oliver and Davey follows with a press slam for two. Dynamite comes back in as Heenan talks up Oliver, despite his relegated status, as Oliver slips a knee in and brings in Costello. Kid quickly back suplexes out of a Costello headlock, but can’t tag out. Rip gets a really nice reverse neck snap on the ropes, but Davey Boy tags back in and powerslams Costello to set up the rocket launcher diving headbutt for the win. More time for it than I was expecting led to it being pretty good, probably as a courtesy to Oliver.
Gene brings in Mr. Fuji to talk about the tag team elimination match at the Survivor Series, which leads to a weird segue about tying Demolition to rocking chairs and seeing if they survive across the ocean to Hawaii. I think I’d prefer eating dog. Ax and Smash come in to join the conversation, wearing very low effort paint, with Smash just going for red and yellow stylised R shapes and Ax going for top half white and bottom half red. The Spaghetti Connection need to be worried, Howard.
Oxy Clean – it’s, like, a repeat, like!
GMC Truck – nothing lives here but classics!
Fiber Full – for fatties!
Cortizone 5 – her rash is irritating, but not as irritating as her!
Lee Sculptured Nails – I think I’d just take my chances if I were a woman!
Promotional Consideration Paid For By… Dallas – the new men’s cologne that plays to win!
Brite – no Alfred on this one!
Arrow – staple guns aren’t as good as they look on the commercials!
Battleship – later a shit movie!
Gene signs off with his umpteenth reminder of the Survivor Series, with the where and when and recommendation to have a beer while watching it. Next week, Randy Savage, the Warrior, and the Bolsheviks! Plus George Steele versus the Honky Tonk Man!
The red, the white, and the blue: Worst bit was the lacklustre six man tag. Best bit was the quintessential everybody’s got a price buildup promo. Weirdest bit was Fuj the Stooge’s BDSM fantasies for Demolition, as if the leather and spikes weren’t enough!