The Brain Buster’s finish is the piledriver but Koko’s theme is Piledriver and his finisher the Brainbuster.
-YouTube comment.
Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I found a very odd one-off, as it’s the Brain Busters versus the makeshift team of… High Energy? Yes, it’s OWEN HART AND KOKO B. WARE, but several years early, as Owen’s the Blue Blazer and neither is in gigantic parachute pants, and they’re taking on the NWA-styled Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard!
Then it’s over to New Japan, as the IWGP Tag Team Champions, Rick & Scott Steiner, defend against the monster squad of Scott Norton & Tony “Ludvig Borga” Halme! Come see some real Hoss Style wrestling… at least until their cardio wears out! Then it’s a classic 1994 WWF match, with The 1-2-3 Kid & Thurmann “Sparky” Plugg vs. Adam Bomb & Kwang! Sting vs. Lt. James Earl Wright in 1995 WCW! And we cap things off with a jobber squash featuring Don Muraco in 1980s Florida dismantling a green rookie Barry Windham!
THE BRAIN BUSTERS (Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard, w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. KOKO B. WARE & THE BLUE BLAZER:
* !!!!!! This was mentioned in a daily thread as a fascinating unknown match, and look at it! The Brain Busters vs. High Energy… three years early! Owen Hart at this point was a masked undercard guy in light blue gear for some reason, and Koko was on the JTTS train already. The Busters, in black trunks, are so NWA they look bizarre in late ’80s WWF, but they kinda fit because of that- two guys in regular gear with regular dad-bods like good NWA stars should look. Like, WWF was so full of weird characters that this actually STOOD OUT… and thus kind of worked? I mean the whole company was guys trying to stand out so “NWA Guys” was ironically a good fit. The jobber team is listed as 70 lbs. heavier than the Busters- that doesn’t sound right.
The Blue Blazer works Arn’s arm but gets his hair pulled and Arn slugs him in the corner. They screw up the “corner go-behind” spot (Arn doesn’t run until he realizes Owen’s doing it so Owen just lands on him) and Koko’s in on the arm and hiptosses him, Arn selling like he just can’t get anything going on these guys’ speed. Tully fares no better, eating boxing jabs and a headlock, then Koko kicking at Arn to lure him in, and takes BOTH guys over in the old “headlock/headscissors” spot! But WHOOPS- Koko runs and Tully yanks down the top rope and Koko’s in deep. Tully nails him off the apron thanks to Arn’s distraction, then Tully dumps Koko and ARN uses a distraction to nail him, and then Arn brings him in for the Spinebuster- Blue Blazer saves at two. Blazer gets the fans into a Koko comeback as he beats on Arn’s gut and evades both Busters to tag in Blazer- Owen runs wild with speed as Blanchard won’t get out of the ring and eats a Missile Dropkick (a big move for the era), going to the floor. Tully & Koko get into it out there to distract the ref, and Blazer hits a backbreaker, but climbs for the Moonsault and gets crotched- the Spike Piledriver finishes for the Busters at (7:05). Well ya didn’t really need a ref distraction for that, but whatever.
Pretty solid TV tag match, as it was all moves and no resting- the Brain Busters were good NWA-style baddies, able to reliably sell for the speed of the lesser team, giving them about 3-4 minutes of action until they cheated (of course) to take over, then played shenanigans with the ref to allow for more double-teaming so Koko & the Blazer didn’t look weak. Then Blazer got the hot tag and looked good (albeit with a bit of rookie “Oh wait what move should I do now?” and positioning issues), but got caught up top in a classic rookie mistake and hit with the MDK finisher of the late ’80s.
Rating: **1/2 (good basic TV match, with no laziness)
Yeah, uh, a monstrous roided up Nazi and the Human Cube- not gonna mess with them.
IWGP TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE STEINER BROTHERS (Rick & Scott Steiner) vs. SCOTT NORTON & TONY HALME:
(NJPW Wrestling Scramble, Nov. 12th 1992)
* Oh yes, it’s three of wrestling’s most successful gaijin tough-guys in New Japan history… and Ludvig Borga! Norton was the new big boy NJPW was trying to push (and push they did- until he became a great snarky comeback to anyone boasting about how Japanese companies had better workers than in the U.S.), and Halme was at this point kind of a failed big deal (with wins over Norton and even Shinya Hashimoto, but he didn’t get over), and the Steiners were already well-respected Tag Champs. Norton’s not as round as he’d later get, and is wearing a black singlet, while Halme (with classic “roid bloat”) is in black tights with a Eurotrash sunglasses/leather jacket combo. Rick’s singlet is covered in fluorescent leaves and Scottie’s in one that looks like the Saved By The Bell opening. This could be an epic SLAPPING MEAT bout, but I’m iffy because Halme sucks.
Rick controls Halme’s arm (“fuck!”- Halme) as Tony tries some boxing-style punches (he was initially billed in “Boxer vs. Wrestler” matches, as he had some training in both), getting booed for laying out Rick with a right to the gut as that’s illegal punchery. Seeing RICK STEINER doubled over in agony from simple punches is a kick- Halme slugs him in the sternum then does overhead clubbing- Rick slugs him back, but Halme flattens him with a right to the jaw! Scottie gets infuriated and divebombs Halme on the pin, but the big’uns kick his ass so Rick can recover and… he fell off the top rope, ruining his Steinerline. Awwwww that spot would have ruled. Instead they improvise him beating the big guys up- Rick gets his scoop-toss on Halme but Norton just runs over Scottie and flexes in a cool bit. Rick runs into Halme’s boot and takes a resthold (complete with more potty-mouth from the Finn), backdrop suplexing out- Scottie hits a vertical suplex & pumphandle slam, impressing the fans, but misses a dropkick and Norton manhandles him to the shock of the crowd. Avalanche & DDT gets two, but Scottie catches him with an overhead belly-to-belly!
Rick lays them in on Norton and hits his own overhead suplex, but Norton launches him off on the pin attempt, drawing a big reaction (haha it’s such a classic move but probably blew minds with Rick of all people getting tossed). Rick runs into a boot and Norton completely bowls him over onto his belly with a huge clothesline- you can tell he’s getting tired, though, as the moves are getting further and further apart- double-clothesline and it’s a double-down- Halme is energized now and charges into Scottie a couple times (nice cross-body into the corner! Just squashed him!), levels him with a clothesline, and goes up- Scottie hits a fisherman’s superplex from there! They resthold Halme a bit, but he slugs away at Rick to break one and eats a Steinerline for two. Scottie’s belly to belly gets two. Halme gets whipped to the corner, clotheslines Rick, then tags- everyone brawls and the Steiners get the best of it, Scottie hitting a bad German on Norton and knocking Halme off the apron and fighting him on the floor. But that’s the endgame- Rick Irish whips Norton but it’s reversed and Norton hits a snap Powerslam for the finish at (12:49), winning with a random transition move!
The Steiners are good sports about it, shaking hands & hugging- the big boys would be champs for only a month, jobbing to Hawk & Kensuke Sasaki- Halme would be jobbed out of the promotion next year after knocking Norton out in a real fight (possibly via sucker-punch but still- look at Norton!).
Okay, not bad! Not great, and not quite the SLAPPING MEAT epic you might hope for, but it had 300-lb. guys getting overhead suplexed, and there was indeed some slappage of meat. The big guys were having issues with the match length, though (not helped by the odd construction of doing “five minutes of Halme, then five minutes of Norton”)- they were in for too long each and you could feel their energy flag, hence the late-match restholds. Actually a LOT of that, as Halme just looked dead on his feet and had to be dumped from the ring, and even the Steiners were unable to just keep tossing Norton around. The finish was solid, but kind of unexpected- who wins with a POWERSLAM like that? It wasn’t even a Davey-Boy running one (and that only pins Warlord-tier guys) but a snap one on a guy who hadn’t really been beaten down that hard yet.
Rating: **1/4 (solid and with some great power moves, but a lot of slow pounding away and restholds)
THE 1-2-3 KID & THURMANN “SPARKY” PLUGG vs. ADAM BOMB & KWANG (w/ Dr. Harvey Wippleman):
(WWF Wrestling Challenge, May 22nd 1994)
* Oh yeah, dig that “mid-90s WWF” goodness as the low-ranked Kid/Plugg team take on Harvey’s goons. Last week, Kwang held Kid for Harvey’s attack and Plugg saved, so now we have a tag match with Harvey’s guys (probably taped the same day). Kid’s in white & black, while Plugg’s in neon yellow gear. Bomb’s in the usual red/yellow/black heel gear and Kwang’s in black.
Plugg uses speed to avoid a Kwang roundhouse kick and does his ’80s armdrags and stuff- the squat Kwang throws shots to come back, and Bomb dominates with power stuff like catching a cross-body and dropping Sparky on his knee. Plugg escapes a double-team, though, and Kid makes a quick comeback after Kwang’s strikes and spinkicks him to the floor. Bomb eats a roundhouse running in, but slams Kid in the back when he attempts a pescado., but then Kid lands on his feet from a backdrop suplex and dropkicks Bomb through the ropes ONTO Kwang.
Back from break with Kid’s kick series landing, but Kwang reverses and hits his running corner roundhouse to flip BOTH guys over the top rope. Kwang shoots green mist in the ring as Bomb clotheslines Kid on the floor, and Kwang lands the wrist-grab roundhouse kick for two. Bomb with a side suplex & standing dropkick, the Kwang hits a monster roundhouse kick after Kid ducks a chop. Powerslam gets two, but Bomb comes in and misses an assisted clothesline and Kid wipes out Kwang with his OWN roundhouse- Sparky gets the hot tag but doesn’t do much, getting caught on Kwang’s shoulders, but Kwang accidentally knocks the legs into Bomb, who slugs Kwang back and that causes the rollup crucifix pin at (7:13). Kwang & Adam Bomb have WORDS afterwards, and this sets off Bomb’s face turn.
Solid little match, making good use of Kid’s comeback abilities (back before he was a greasy heel with no character development, he was as natural a comeback guy as you were gonna get). Kwang, normally one of my least-favorite guys with his brawling style, actually did good work with his kicks here. He’s limited but at least the kicks are nice.
Rating: **1/4 (pretty basic tag match with some good kicks by Kwang)
LOL this dude didn’t even make TV during the “put Power Plant dweebs on Saturday Night” era when I was watching WCW.
STING vs. LT. JAMES EARL WRIGHT:
(WCW Saturday Night, March 25th 1995)
* The early 1995 WCW is almost a total unknown to me- Sting’s here against the JTTS tag guy Wright. Sting’s in white tights and blue/white facepaint Balding, burly, pint-sized Wright takes off his highway patrol uniform to reveal a blue singlet.
Wright brawls to start, but gets backdropped & clotheslined. He whines about hairpull (lol his hair is as seen in the picture above- I love that) and takes basic wristlocks & stuff, but holds a headscissors for a while. He arbitrarily lets go and throws some more shots, but Sting brawls back, hits the Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Deathlock finishes at (2:59). haha why was there a resthold in that?
Rating: 3/4* (super basic squash, with Wright only getting a pittance of offense, stalling, reversing a headlock to a headscissors for a while, then immediately eating the ending flurry)
DON MURACO vs. BARRY WINDHAM:
(Championship Wrestling Federation, Florida, 1980)
* A request, it’s Don Muraco vs. a 19-year old rookie Barry Windham! And holy god, check out Muraco with the more athletic physique and “stylish in 2023” beard there. Muraco’s in blue trunks and Windham red, with Barry being HILARIOUSLY pasty and pale, scrawny and weak-looking despite his height.
Muraco just charges Windham before the bell and kicks his ass, Barry just scrunching his arms in all wimpily. Axehandle off Bret’s rope staggers him and a standing dropkick has him doing the “arching back” sell. Muraco dumps him and throws him into the guardrail (which is right up against the ring in this company), then pounds away while Barry bleeds. Jerry Brisco, commentating with Gordon Solie, just reacts with disgust “and all he’s tryin’ to do is learn how to wrestle Gordon, that’s all he wants…” while Muraco finishes him off with the Asiatic Spike (thumb to the throat), Barry going all the way into the “Twitch Sell”, shaking his arms and convulsing like a good jobber. Brisco hits the ring after the ref counts three (2:32) and everyone comes out to see to the remains of Windham (who’s so green he doesn’t even know to face the camera when he bleeds). Muraco’s just wild-eyed and proud of himself as he watches in the background, and he teases a charge in and Brisco nearly pounces but the ref and another wrestler get in the way. Then Muraco tells Solie that “they sent a punk kid to do a job no man in this state can do!” and warns that “My mind is getting sicker and sicker!” while he spits gobs of saliva all over the place with every word. What a piece of shit.
The territories were great places for squashes like this, as guys would move in and out but a dude could debut as a heel and immediately start a feud just by slaughtering one of these pathetic dweebs and murdering him. This ignites the fire in the established babyfaces and immediately puts this guy over as a big threat in a way that squashes don’t really “work” anymore these days. Like you’d have to squash a JTTS at least to draw this kind of a reaction.
Rating: 1/4* (one-sided squash city with some pretty basic stuff- and a lot of whiffed kicks and punches that the camera totally catches as Barry doesn’t react to them- but immediately serves its purpose)