Sean Mooney and Bobby Heenan are this evening’s hosts. Heenan has a tennis racquet, claiming to have been at Wimbledon as a guest of Queen Elizabeth II.
Opening Contest: Virgil (9-0) beats Kato (w/Mr. Fuji) (1-0) via submission to the Million Dollar Dream at 5:19:
This bout was filmed in Fresno, California as part of a Wrestling Challenge taping on June 18. Kato is the ring general, trying to hold the match together as Virgil’s transitions between moves or shifts in the action are sloppy. Virgil spams boxing punches for the bulk of his offense, overcoming Fuji’s interference on multiple occasions. For some reason Fuji goes back to the locker room after tripping Virgil and Kato’s blind charge eats boot, allowing Virgil to finish him with Ted DiBiase’s favorite hold. This was a mess of a match and showed that Virgil had a hard ceiling as a babyface act. Rating: ½*
Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect comes into the studio. He puts himself over as the greatest Intercontinental titleholder of all-time.
The Rockers (11-1) beat Tim Patterson & the Brooklyn Brawler when Marty Jannetty pins Patterson after Shawn Michaels slams him on top at 1:55:
Patterson was a longtime WWF enhancement worker based out of California, first wrestling for the company in December 1986. The year before he also did some jobs for Herb Abrams’ UWF promotion.
Patterson is a tall guy, towering over the Rockers, but he is cut down quickly by a Michaels superkick. The Rockers opt to go with a different finisher to win, with Michaels press slamming Jannetty on top of Patterson for a sixth-straight victory.
Perfect says the Rockers will be champions if they listen to his direction. Heenan tries calling the Hulk Hogan Hotline to win the interactive game and struggles. Perfect assists him by randomly pressing a button, finally helping Heenan win. When Mooney suggests that Perfect won a Hulk Hogan t-shirt, Perfect laughs it off and brings in his personal tailor named Abe. Perfect tells the audience that Abe is going to make him the perfect suit.
Lord Alfred Hayes’ Special Report recaps the Randy Savage-Elizabeth love story.
The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) (18-0-1) beats Bob Jones with the carotid control technique at 1:06:
The Mountie works quickly, getting heat from the crowd who chant for the Big Bossman. After the bell, the Mountie handcuffs Jones to the middle rope, announces that he is under arrest, and shocks him.
Jake Roberts says that Sid Justice would be an anaconda if he were a snake and that he is interested in seeing what Sid brings to the table. The Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart claim that Sid cannot be as nasty as them, but he can get close.
Perfect yells at Abe for not working fast enough on his suit, slapping him in the back of the head.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan (14-0-1) pins the Intruder after the three-point stance clothesline at 1:24:
Hayes does his best to put over the Intruder, arguing that he has some “impressive victories,” although if Mooney were to press the point Hayes would likely have trouble stating what those victories were. Duggan does more work with the crowd than in the ring, checkmating the Intruder in three moves.
The Legion of Doom come out, with Hawk claiming that the Legion will reduce the Nasty Boys to some soiled underwear.
The Natural Disasters’ debut on Superstars airs.
The Legion are shown footage of the Nasties giving the Pit Stop to a production assistant named George on last week’s episode. The Legion are not happy that Heenan let the attack happen without interfering. As a result, they give him their version of the Pit Stop and Animal shoves his shoe into Heenan’s mouth.
Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri) (12-2-1) beats the British Bulldog (21-0) via count out at 6:50 shown:
This match, which took place in Tempe, Arizona on May 28, is joined in progress, airing a day earlier on All American Wrestling. As expected, Sherri interferes early to put DiBiase in control and he scores several near-falls in between chinlock spots. However, DiBiase misses his back elbow drop off the second rope and that gives the Bulldog a second wind. A flying headbutt, a move the Bulldog rarely used, nearly wins the encounter but Sherri grabs Winston and runs to the locker room to keep the Bulldog from covering after using the running powerslam. That gets the Bulldog counted out and gives him his first loss since returning to the company a year ago. This was a small upset as DiBiase has been reeling in big singles matches for much of the year. It was also a signal that the Bulldog was not going to be winning his feud with Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship. Rating: **¾
Brutus Beefcake is the next guest. Heenan puts refrigerator magnets on Beefcake’s face to emphasize that it was reconstructed with metal plates. Beefcake responds by saying that he is going to bring an assistant out named Cookie to give Heenan a facial treatment. Since Cookie is an attractive woman, Heenan goes along with it.
Sergeant Slaughter, Colonel Mustafa, and General Adnan’s appearance on the Funeral Parlor on Superstars is shown.
Perfect continues to yell at Abe about the construction of his suit. Frustrated at the pace, Perfect takes over the sewing machine and says he is going to do the job himself.
Beefcake and Cookie look for the solvent to take off Heenan’s face mask and cannot find it.
Bret Hart (9-0-3) defeats Paul Roma (w/Slick) (1-2) with a small package at 8:15:
The last feature bout of the show took place in Sacramento, California at a Superstars taping on June 17. It is a perfectly acceptable A-B-C match where Roma focuses his offense on Bret’s back. A blind charge allows Bret to use his moves of doom. He then feigns a knee injury when floating over another Roma blind charge and small packages his foe for the winning pin, continuing to build his character as a skilled wrestler who can win matches out of nowhere. Rating: **¼
Beefcake returns to the studio with a toilet plunger, but Heenan will not let that come anywhere near his face.
The Beverly Brothers squash from Wrestling Challenge airs.
The silliness with Heenan’s mask continues as Beefcake brings out a drill, getting it close to Heenan’s face until the Brain opens his eyes and runs away again.
After showing footage of Gary Strydom’s winning posing at the WBF Championship, Strydom joins the broadcast. Strydom puts over how important it was to win the WBF title and talks about wanting to be a role model for kids around the world. Regardless of his physique, Strydom had no charisma and this interview exposed that.
The Undertaker’s squash from Wrestling Challenge is shown.
Beefcake enters the studio this time with a chainsaw but recognizes it is not the right instrument to fix Heenan’s problem.
Mr. Perfect comes out in his perfect suit and wonders what is wrong with Heenan. Heenan begs him to find something to help him. Perfect promises to help his former manager.
Jake Roberts (14-1) pins Louie Spicolli after the DDT at 1:25:
As has been the case with a lot of squashes today, Roberts quickly goes into the greatest hits to vanquish Spicolli. The crowd gives a massive pop for the DDT and a young girl in the front row loses her mind when Roberts uses the move. After the bell, Roberts dumps Lucifer on Spicolli.
Heenan complains that the mask is hardening and he is having a tough time breathing. Somehow Heenan’s mask has gotten larger than when it was originally applied. The Legion of Doom put Heenan in the barber chair and try to rip off the mask to no avail. Gary Strydom comes out and all three of them successfully get it off of Heenan’s face, which is now bruised. Heenan runs off-camera, screaming about how his face is ruined.
Tune in next week to see Randy Savage, Sergeant Slaughter and his allies, and Hillbilly Jim!
The Last Word: The British Bulldog-Ted DiBiase match was the highlight of the show, which started to drag in the second hour with a ton of silly segments about Bobby Heenan’s face mask. The Mr. Perfect suit story also had a lame payoff. As noted previously, Sean Mooney does not have the ability to carry a show like this, but he is a stand in for Vince McMahon, who is busy trying to play damage control with the steroid scandal. So, more appearances from him could become the norm for this month.
Up Next: WWF Superstars for July 6!