Of all the people, Rene Dupree and Paul London have been knocking it out of the park on YouTube with their show (technically it’s Rene’s Cafe de Rene, but London is omnipresent on it as his wingman), which is low on technical quality but high on the quality of gossip and shit slinging, so here’s a collection of some of their spicy clips and their work, which almost feels secondary.
Any good Fifi the poodle stories?
Rene was teaming with Kenzo Suzuki, who had his wife Hiroko as his valet in geisha attire. Hiroko got too close to the dog to pet her one time and she bit Hiroko on the lip. Vince’s response: “Get rid of the fucking dog!”
What was the locker room atmosphere like?
Spike Dudley was the biggest stooge in the locker room, always sucking up to the Undertaker and getting people in trouble. He tried to get Daniel Puder in trouble when he didn’t go out to ringside to work out because he was jealous of him making much more money than him. James the producer comments on it being a common thing that wrestlers would get jealous of anyone who came in the way of their money, be it the WBF, the XFL, whatever. Rene says that Rikishi told him that when the XFL flopped the wrestlers were being worked harder than ever before to make that money back.
Bubba Ray Dudley and the Undertaker
Paul and Rene were friends and went for a walk on the beach late one night in Italy because they were bummed out about the toxic atmosphere and were having a heart-to-heart, only interrupted by Rico streaking into the sea. The next day, “fat fuck” Bubba Ray Dudley “who nobody likes” started goading London about how he’d heard “you had a nice, romantic stroll on the beach”. London kept it calm and shut him down when he started to pry, which the Undertaker gave him props for, for whatever it was worth. Rene reveals that Bubba NEVER had a shower in front of the boys because Sly Grenier had smartened him up that he was an insecure, obese man who hated the way he looked and took it out on people who looked good.
The Undertaker himself was a self-styled mafia boss of the locker room who both London and Dupree had managed to offend through inoffensive ways, in London’s case declining a drink off him one time and then being seen having one with someone else another time, so he would go on about how he thought he was “too good” to accept a drink off him. Back to Bubba, he had the tab for the evening switched to London to pay for, about $500, to suck up to ‘Taker.
Bloodbath!
After Rene got beaten up by Hardcore Holly on a house show after their issue about a parking ticket, he had a bruise on his head like a horn. He and London were on a small plane after and Rene went to the toilet. The plane started to descend, changing the air pressure, and Dupree was still in the bathroom, so London was sent to get him. The bruise had burst and just covered the entire place in blood and he was sitting barely conscious on the toilet. Paramedics had to come on to take him off. Triple H and a trainer were also on the plane and tried to brush the story under the rug. This leads into a brief discussion of how you just become a numb zombie to everything that happened, because London didn’t accompany Dupree to the hospital and just carried on his way, which he regrets now. Meanwhile, Rene recalled the people he spoke to in rehab being shocked by the story and recommending he sue, but he didn’t feel he could while the same company was paying for where he was.
Johnny Ace
With Johnny Ace being in the news because of his connection to Vince’s infidelities and hush money, Rene brings up that Johnny was cheating on his wife, the mother of the Bellas, with Vince’s paralegal ex while the Bella’s mom was going through brain cancer. Rene says there are stories that could be told, hinting Ron Simmons has the gossip, that would shock people about big Johnny.
Michael Hayes
At Rene’s urging, Paul tells a story of being in the showers one time after a match with Brian Kendrick, when Hayes walked in, scoped them out, and said “Looking good, boys, looking REAL good!”. He could’ve been looking at them for five minutes for all they know and been talking about their match or dicks, he doesn’t know. Rene is amazed, with the shit he’s gotten away with, that he’s been there almost thirty years. Who knows what Brooklyn Brawler had on someone to be there as long as he was too?
Matt Hardy
Paul London and Matt Hardy shared a girlfriend in Ashley Massaro at one time and London was a lot better about it than Hardy was, so there’s heat there. Regarding the Hardy/Lita/Edge love triangle, Paul fingers the blame on the “bow-legged guy” for bricking Edge’s sports car and slashing his tyres. “He’s really possessive with the women he thinks he owns.” James recalls the video on early YouTube of Matt running over a cardboard cutout of Lita (Paul: “That tells you all you need to know.”). He later did weird videos with guns and trench coats and a new girl, “my new Lita”.
Rene’s response: “I didn’t give a flying fiddler’s fuck!”
Juventud Guerrera
Juvi thought he was a star on the Rock’s level and never took his sunglasses off indoors, annoying London. He knew him before WWE and he was cool, but in WWE Juvi knew that Vince thought he was hot shit and acted like it until the bloom was off the rose. Going back to a prior story, Juvi, who may be a little bisexual, started riding with Randy Orton and then was allegedly hanging around his hotel room saying “Kiss me, Randy, kiss me. Just one kiss, Randy.”.
Randy: “Juvi – get the fuck out of here NOW!”
It’s possible that led to his firing, in actual fact.
Locker room thieves
There was a “stock car racer”, “Buttplug Holly”, who apparently stole a Rolex as well as Justin Roberts’ Visa and Passport another time when they were overseas, which meant he might not have been able to get home. Umaga took Holly’s bag and wrapped it up with a letter on it telling him that nobody wanted him around and to get the fuck out of there. Rene also recalls a wrestler in England who was a known locker room thief. Paul jokes that it was Repo Man, but Rene says it was a fat tub of shit who took £20 out of his payoff envelope. Paul: “Sounds like a promoter!” All signs point to P.N. News.
Now the matches!
Dynamic Dudes vs. Fabulous Freebirds
The new Freebirds are the tag champs at this point, with Terry Gordy as their alternate. Lance Russell and Bob Caudle on commentary, which should be interesting. Gordy takes Michael’s place this match, getting some good stuff in early with Johnny and then Shane. The blonde hair on the Dynamic Doofuses looks terrible. They get a sunset flip off the top rope on Terry for two, so Jimmy tags in. The Dudes hold the advantage, but Terry gets a shot in on Shane to change the momentum. Garvin keeps on knocking Shane back out until he returns and they clash heads in an awkward spot. Tag to Johnny, who comes in with a pair of dropkicks that he’s way too big to do. Bad elbowdrop. Enziguiri on Terry looks better. Michael tries to get involved and is dispatched too. Ace tries to run Jimmy into the ropes for an O’Connor roll, but gets hit by Terry for the knockout blow. Well, that’s what was supposed to happen, but he ducked down at the same time as Jimmy did so it looked like shit. Jimmy gets the pin on him off that. Well, at least it was short, but both teams looked like shit, Gordy and Douglas to a lesser level excluded.
Thurman “Sparky” Plugg vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Holly’s WWF debut, recorded before the Royal Rumble, where they had to bring him in early as a substitute before his TV debut aired. The gear he’s wearing is horrendous, on the same low par as the stuff the Honky Tonk Man started out in. Clothesline and snap suplex set up a really ugly splash for the win. He basically landed three feet in front of Brawler and then dropped down on top of him.
Matt Hardy vs. Nikolai Volkoff
From Raw in ’94, with Nikolai the servant and property of Ted Dibiase. Matt has a crewcut and normal tights, with HV on the backside for High Voltage. Nikolai’s advice to Matt before the match as recalled by Matt in a later shoot interview: “Don’t worry if you fuck up, I fuck up every match.” Nice rolling cradle on the mat for one. Matt pokes the eyes but Nikolai just walks out of the way of a cross body block. Butterfly suplex. The match stalls for a bit for no obvious reason, with Matt regaining the advantage, but then getting pounded down again. Don’t know what happened there. Slam and a lazy Boston crab get the submission to zero reaction. Even Ted Dibiase was surprised by that impromptu ending. Nikolai was about six years out of date in the New Generation, so even if he didn’t fuck up nobody wanted to see him there.
Spike Dudley vs. P.N. News
From ECW, with News doing a throwback to his Rapmaster gimmick and shitting on Philadelphia. The raps and rhythm haven’t improved in eight years. Spike comes out doing his stupid walk and giant killer gimmick. News immediately catches and slams him, but misses a move off the second rope. Spike kicks him in the balls and hits the Acid Drop for the win. At least it was short. Joey Styles, as usual, wanks off over it while copying the worst excesses of Jim Ross. I hate Spike and Styles, so this did nothing for me and looked and sounded like garbage.
FBI vs. Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree
Kenzo and Rene are new tag team champions at this point. Might be the difference of time, but they look quite good together with both being robed and all the flags and stuff, as I remember them basically being reviled at the time. The FBI is comprised of Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli. Stamboli was a guy who I never felt fulfilled his potential given his good luck, goofy charm and combination of power and agility. Guess it was a case of no allies and the WCW stink on him. Johnny and Rene begin, with Rene having no luck. Nunzio tags in and continues succeeding against Dupree, so Kenzo assists in dumping him outside and posts him. Totally separate to that, John Heidenreich pulls Michael Cole off commentary with Taz and drags him across the barricade and kidnaps him. This was of course leading to the infamous prison love/poetry performance bit they did. Rene gets Nunzio back in and does his dance and a falling headbutt. Nunzio gets a kick and a tag to Johnny while Taz goes to rescue Cole. Johnny press slams Rene for two when Kenzo breaks it up. Backbreaker setup for a Demolition-style legdrop, but Kenzo knocks Nunzio off the top to the floor. The champs outnumber Johnny and Rene gets his suspect Michinoku Driver on him for the win. Pretty decent little TV match for what it was, although it fell apart with the Cole kidnapping angle distracting everyone from it.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Kid Kash
Ken Kennedy is on commentary doing some goofy “representative from the network” deal. No idea what that was about. Juvi gets and early backbreaker and clotheslines Kash out. Follows with a flip off the top to the floor, landing by the already demolished announce table. Back in for two. Kash flapjacks him off another attempt to climb and takes out the leg. He misses a moonsault, then Juvi fucks up a clothesline. He can’t get the Juvi Driver due to the leg. Kennedy doing a comedy bit about demographics should be in AEW. Juvi reverses a powerbomb into a pinfall attempt for two. His own huracanrana attempt is reversed into a single leg Boston crab, but he makes the rope. Kash goes up but gets crotched on the top rope. Hura off the top for two. 450 splash misses, allowing Kash to finish with the brainbuster of all the moves. Decent match, with an attempt at psychology, but not enough time to make it great.
The meltdown: It couldn’t be more clear that these guys are best friends, so there’s a comfort level and knowledge of one another that brings out the best in one another, with Englishman James as the stabilizer. They’re both secure with where they are in life and willing to dish the dirt on a period that as time moves on it’s becoming safer and more interesting to uncover.