The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestling at the Chase – 02.18.84

The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestling at the Chase – 02.18.84

Taped from the Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis, MO, as this one is a special edition featuring matches from the battle royale house show they were hyping for weeks.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mean Gene

But first we get words from Larry Matysik, who is just so gosh darn happy to have the WWF in charge of St. Louis now.

20 Man Battle Royale:

It’s basically the entire roster, featuring everyone from Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant down to the jobbers. It’s BEDLAM AND PANDEMONIUM and Dr. D gets thrown out immediately. Moondog Rex foolishly goes after Hulk Hogan and gets thrown out, while Andre ties up Fuji in the ropes and has his way with him. Adrian Adonis tries going to the top rope and Hulk slams him off, but not out of the ring. And then everyone piles up on Andre the Giant and is unable to get him out, but poor Bob Boyer gets caught under the Giant and squashed like a bug as a result. Various heels try to put Hogan over the top while Big John Studd chokes out Andre from the apron. Adonis gets fed up and slugs away on Hulk, but Hulk does the comeback and sends him flying out of the ring with a Popeye punch. Not over the top rope, though. Adonis always understood the assignment, as the kids say. Masked Superstar gets thrown out off camera while Studd continues to stand on the apron annoying people, and then Rocky Johnson tosses Mr. Wonderful. So Orndorff pulls Rocky out of the ring and rams him into the ringpost a few times to assert dominance. Back in the ring, Rocky gets all fired up and slugs away on the heels, before taking Dick Murdoch to the floor and eliminating them both. Also Samu tries a tope suicida and Rocky ducks him, resulting in a Samoan splat on the floor. Great bump there. And then Adonis takes ANOTHER great bump over the top on a backdrop, but Andre and Hogan run into each other and tease a COLOSSAL TUSSLE, but Big John Studd manages to push them both out at the same time to win the match at 8:30 and claim the money. Hulk of course immediately throws a tantrum and demands that the winner of the match come back and face him. Studd tries to decline the offer, but Hulk and Andre turn into big bullies and double-team him on the floor, beating him up until Studd manages to escape.

Meanwhile, Studd and manager Roddy Piper challenge Hulk Hogan for a WWF title match next time they’re in St. Louis. Piper generously offers to allow Hogan to drop the belt off a week early if that’s easier for him, so he can go home and blow dry the three hairs he has left on his head.

Piper’s Pit with special guests Mr. Fuji and “Tiger Lee Chung”. Piper notes that aside from maybe Socrates, there’s not many other people that he admires in the way he admires Fuji. Piper asks for some Fuji strategy in dealing with his opponents. Step 1: Find a weak spot. Step 2: Use BRAINS to take advantage of weak spot. Piper repeatedly trolling Tiger Chung Lee here was great.

Jimmy Snuka v. Mr. Fuji

Fuji tries for the martial arts right away and Snuka chops him down. So Fuji gets a kidney blow and then goes to the throat with KARATE, then drops the headbutt on him to take over. Fuji with the Vulcan nerve pinch and Snuka fights out of that, so Fuji uses more KARATE and chops him into the ropes. Snuka makes the comeback and Gene declares that it’s time for Katie to bar the door. Snuka drops a knee on him and leapfrogs into a sunset flip for the pin at 5:00 in a slick move. So that immediately brings Tiger Chung Lee in with his kendo stick and they get some revenge on behalf of the Orient.

Meanwhile, Mean Gene chats with Hulk Hogan about his upcoming title match with Big John Studd. Hulk feels like Studd is not living his life up to the moral standards that Hulk himself sets. Yeah OK then.

WWF tag team title: Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas v. Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch

Rocky is still busted open from the battle royale and you’d think this would have been the perfect time and place to switch the titles. Atlas talks Rocky into staying on the apron and then goes after Murdoch himself, but he immediately gets beaten down in the corner. Adonis adds some shots behind the ref’s back, but Atlas fights back with a headbutt to chase Murdoch out of the ring. Over to Adonis, who puts the boots to Atlas and then slingshots him under the ropes and goes to the top. Atlas crotches him to bring him down and makes the hot tag to Rocky, and Johnson cleans house by himself and slugs it out with Murdoch. But this busts Rocky wide open again and Murdoch goes after it before tossing him to the floor and running him into the timekeeper’s table. Atlas grabs the ref to express his concern, so that allows Murdoch to hold Rocky in the ropes while Adonis smashes a chair into his face. And then Rocky kicks out at ONE. Awesome. The Rock fights back, but Murdoch beats him down in the corner again, and Adonis comes in with a bulldog. They take turns beating on Rocky, but he fights back and throws hands with them both until Adonis stops him by choking him out from the apron with the tag rope. Rocky with a sunset flip on Murdoch for two, but Adonis drop an elbow on him to break it up and the crowd is PISSED. Rocky tries a slam on Adonis but he collapses and Adonis gets two. Rollup gets two and Murdoch comes in and breaks that up, and Atlas has had enough and breaks things up, but the ref checks the cut and declares that Rocky can’t continue, stopping the match for blood loss at 11:30. Not a title change. Yet. But holy shit this match was INCREDIBLE. By far the best match I’ve ever seen Atlas and Johnson do as a team, mostly because it was Rocky taking a hellacious beating. ****1/4

I believe we continue on with the other half of the show next week, with a Hogan v. Masked Superstar main event. This was a tremendous hour of wrestling action, though.