The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.29.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.29.86

Originally written 06.05.26

Taped from Sound Bend, IN on 11.19.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura & Bruno Sammartino

This episode was actually broadcast on the same day as Saturday Night’s Main Event #8 with Jake Roberts v. Randy Savage, although they don’t mention anything about the show for whatever reason.

Meanwhile, in London, we learn that Andre the Giant’s suspension has now been lifted by Jack Tunney, so Andre does an interview with a British newscaster, and we learn that Andre has in fact been hanging out in Europe for the past few months and absolutely not wrestling in any form in North America, for instance under a mask. Strange that the suspension would suddenly be lifted like that, though. Wonder what that’s about?

King Harley Race v. Leaping Lanny Poffo

Vince notes that Race would prefer if fans would bow, or perhaps even genuflect, for the King. Hey man, I experimented with genuflection in university, and it was a bad trip. Poffo as usual talks shit about the heel via poetry but probably can’t back it up. Poffo does get a bodypress for two and he takes Race down with an armbar, and even Jesse is in the dark about what kind of underhanded dealings have led to the return of Andre. And he’s usually on top of all the underhanded dealings in the WWF! Race quickly cuts off Poffo’s offense, hits him with a high knee, and finishes with the cradle suplex at 1:36.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Gene is actually on the phone with Bonnie Steamboat, as Ricky’s career might be over after the ringbell smashing last week. Ricky is considering retirement, perhaps opening a gym in North Carolina if I had to guess, but at the moment he’s unable to speak due to his crushed larynx. And later in the show, we’ll have an update with Ricky’s doctor.

Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura interviews Mike Rotundo and the returning Dan Spivey.

Mike Rotundo & Dan Spivey v. Rick Renslow & Dave Wagner

Rotundo works the arm on Renslow and Spivey comes in to carry on with that as Vince and Jesse keep on talking about Spivey’s absence and knee injury, which is weird because I literally didn’t remember him even being gone. Spivey with a slingshot splash for two and it’s over to Wagner, but the US Express double-teams him and Spivey finishes him with the bulldog at 2:21. Out of curiosity I checked out his 1986 record and he took maybe a month off between the last tapings and this one, but it’s not like he was gone for an extended period of time. Certainly not for an amount of time that would indicate extensive knee surgery or whatever they were claiming. Was that perhaps code for a different kind of 6-8 week absence? Also this team started out with enthusiastic double-teaming and chemistry and now they look like they’d rather be anywhere else.

Meanwhile, the Honky Tonk Man isn’t really happy about the results of the Vote of Confidence even after kissing the puke-faced babies and shaking the greasy hands of the ugly fans. So now he’s gonna slapping those babies and he’ll have a big surprise for us next week. There’s some real abuser vibes from him here, which is why he was such a top level heel. Everyone who watched him in Stampede and knew what a slimy jerk he was saw it coming from a mile away.

Kamala v. Bob Boyer

Bob tries shoulderblocks and bounces off Kamala with no effect, and Kamala chops him down and splashes him, and then goes to the top rope and hits him with the flying splash to the horror of the crowd, and that finishes at 0:55. The jobber’s dead body sell of that is just tremendous and he goes out on a stretcher.

Meanwhile, Slick complains about getting attacked by Matilda and suffering a broken arm.

The British Bulldogs v. The Hart Foundation

Non-title match here, although the Bulldogs wouldn’t be able to keep ducking the Harts for much longer. Bret and Davey criss-cross to start and Davey takes him down with a monkey flip. Over to the Anvil and they do a power match as it’s BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT and Kid comes in with a headlock and takes both Harts down with that. Back to Davey, but Bret gets the classic cheapshot from the apron to take over and he goes to work on Davey. Bret with a GIANT backdrop and that gets two. Harts with a Demolition elbow while Vince bitches about Danny Davis allowing too much double-teaming. As if Danny Davis would ever favor the Hart Foundation. What a crazy conspiracy theory. Kid gets the hot tag and cleans house, hitting Bret with the hair toss and a snap suplex, and a lariat gets two. Anvil comes in for the brawl, while Jimmy Hart takes the ref, and the Hart Attack finishes the Kid at 4:40. Well obviously the Hart Foundation has earned themselves a title shot with that win!

Piper’s Pit with special guest George Steele. But wait, Jimmy Hart has bribed Steele with a poster of Elizabeth and he’s gone, and now Jimmy demands respect from Piper. Piper doesn’t want to beat him up, but Jimmy slaps him around and Piper decides to turn the other cheek. So Jimmy keep slapping him until Piper has had enough, but before he can finish the job, ADRIAN ADONIS returns and attacks Piper with a crutch, and then puts his lights out with a sleeper to thankfully restart that feud again. And immediately it has 100 times more heat than the Muraco/Orton stuff.

Meanwhile, Outback Jack takes a shower in the woods and sings for us.

LAST WEEK: Macho Man smashes the Dragon’s throat with a ringbell and may have ended his career. So Mean Gene interviews Dr. Bob Potovich, lead physican for the WWF, who reveals that Ricky can’t talk and his career might be over.

Meanwhile, Blackjack Mulligan is off doing cowboy stuff and absolutely not trying to sound like Dusty Rhodes.

The Natural Butch Reed v. Max Blue

OK now Reed’s hair is thankfully WAY more toned down now and almost looks normal again aside from the lighter tint. Reed hits him with a slam and goes up with the flying clothesline to finish at 0:55.

NEXT WEEK: Randy Savage! Koko B. Ware! Adrian Adonis! An update on Ricky Steamboat! The Dream Team & Dino Bravo v. The Rougeau Brothers & Billy Jack Haynes!

The build to Wrestlemania has begun already! We didn’t really know it at the time but it’s super obvious now and there’s already three giant matches set up on this very show.