The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.22.86

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.22.86

Originally written 05.29.26

OH YEAH. Here we go with the one that sealed my fate as a wrestling nerd forever.

Taped from Binghamton, NY on 10.28.86

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, and Bruno Sammartino

Meanwhile, Ricky Steamboat does a fired up promo about giving it his best shot tonight. Pretty sure Macho Man will give it his best shot, IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING.

WWF Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. Ricky Steamboat

We get some drama as Danny Davis and Dave Hebner argue over who the referee is going to be, although Danny loses that battle and leaves. Savage has his best red and yellow combination tonight so you know he means business. They have a testy lockup and Ricky teaches math by going WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO? ARMDRAG! and goes to work on it. Savage runs him into the corner to break, but Steamboat slams him for two and goes back to the arm. Macho tries to throw shoulderblocks, but Steamboat is like KNOCK KNOCK! WHO’S THERE? ARMDRAG! and he’s right back in control. Macho necks him on the top rope for two and gets a bodypress for two, but Steamboat rolls through for two and throws chops before running into a boot in the corner. Macho sends him to the apron but Steamboat comes in with a sunset flip, and Randy blocks it. He tosses Dragon over the top rope and Steamboat skins the cat and rolls him up for two. So Macho puts him down with a back elbow, but the ref is bumped. So Steamboat goes up with the flying bodypress but we have no ref, at which point Danny Davis runs in and checks on the recovering Dave Hebner in an amazing bit of business, thus preventing him from counting. And that allows Savage to hit Ricky from behind and take him to the floor, dropping him throat-first on the railing. And then he goes up and drops the double axehandle on him, as Steamboat goes this incredible sell and gets counted out at 7:10. ***1/4 BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Savage sends him back into the ring and grabs the ringbell, going to the top and smashing it into his throat to silence the crowd, in one of the greatest angles they ever did. So the medics try to put Steamboat on the stretcher, but he’s in so much pain that he can’t even stay still, thrashing around for air with a crushed larynx!

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Mr. Wonderful declares himself the Cream of the Crop, and doesn’t really care what people think about him as long as he gets that belt from Hogan.

Junkyard Dog v. Al Navarro

Dog puts him down and hits him with headbutts to start and then finishes with the Thump at 1:00.

Meanwhile, Bruno is trying to get an update on Ricky Steamboat’s condition, claiming that they had to put a trach tube in so that Ricky could breathe. Now there’s a spot we haven’t seen in AEW yet.

Meanwhile, Superstar Billy Graham continues wasting time in the desert while they wait for him to heal up.

Dino Bravo v. Kurt Kauffman

Bravo beats on Kurt with chops and hits him with the sideslam and a legdrop, and then presses him and puts him down with a clothesline. Back suplex finishes at 1:20.

Meanwhile, in Australia, Outback Jack exists.

The Rebel Dick Slater v. Jimmy Jack Funk

Didn’t we already see this match? Slater puts Funk down with an elbow and goes to the top, but Funk slams him off and drops him on the top rope. They slug it out in the corner and Slater puts him down with a neckbreaker and tries for the spinning toehold, but Jimmy Jack tosses him out. They fight on the apron and Slater goes to the top with his flying elbow and pins Jimmy at 2:02. They were actually kinda trying to have a real match there. **

PIPER’S PIT with special guest Kamala. Wizard does his usual bizarre promo and Piper wonders why Kamala wears a mask.

Billy Jack Haynes v. Ray Vance

Full nelson finishes at 1:05.

Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura presents the results of the Honky Tonk Man poll, which sees 674,000 votes cast by fans! But only 71000 voted for Honky, and the other 60000 people voted NO! So democracy wins again. Honky is gonna go complain to Jack Tunney. Bring booze and a payoff for him. Maybe a nice whiskey gift set for men?

Pedro Morales, Tito Santana & Hillbilly Jim v. The Dream Team & Johnny V

Uh oh, guess who is refereeing? Pedro backdrops Brutus and it’s over to Tito, who slugs away on the heels. Jim comes I and tosses Brutus with a hiptoss while Vince slanders Davis for no reason. Johnny V comes in, but Tito immediately knocks him silly with the flying forearm and puts him in the figure-four. Valentine breaks that up and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, so Danny Davis calls for a DQ and gives it to the heels. I love that they’ve dropped all subtlety with this thing and it’s only getting better.

Meanwhile, the event center interview features Honky Tonk Man and actually spoils the big twist that happens next week.

Meanwhile, Bruno is trying to get into the dressing room again to check on Steamboat, but Randy Savage stops by and he’s ready to put some mustard on that hot dog Steamboat, because he’s so proud of himself! Bruno: YOU PIECE OF SLIME! And then we get a brawl that between them that ended up selling a whole shitload of tickets in the northeast over the next couple of months.

This one is pretty high on my list of greatest TV episodes of all time, baby.