The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.17.96

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.17.96

Taped from Cincinatti, OH on 10.22.96, the last episode requiring careful editing around any shots of Perfect on commentary.

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jim Cornette

Double J Jesse Jammes v. The Goon

Dok Hendrix drops in with an inset from MSG as we prep for Survivor Series. Man I’m still so steamed up about that OTHER so-called Double J stealing the song from the REAL Double J! Makes me so MAD! Gosh! Darnit! Jammes works the arm and takes him down with a hiptoss before making some pelvic thrusts. Like that will ever get over. Goon grabs a headlock while JR spills the tea on Mr. Perfect, noting that he had a breakup with Hunter before the Hall of Fame and won’t be around anymore. Goon slugs away on the ropes, but Jammes slams him and finishes with the pumphandle thing at 3:10. Poor Goon just doesn’t have the passion anymore!

Meanwhile, Vince McMahon sits down with Shawn Michaels in MSG to discuss the Sid match, as Vince uses a bunch of two-dollar words and Shawn is probably hopped up on pills.

Billy Gunn v. Bob Holly

This match would look a lot different in a couple of years. Bob takes him down with armdrags and Billy bails to the floor and then hits Bob with a clothesline to take over. Billy with the chinlock while the announcers discuss the mystery partner at Survivor Series and announce Faarooq will debut a new look. One of those was certainly more notable than the other. Billy chokes Holly out in the corner, but Bob slugs back until Billy cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Billy with a neckbreaker and we take a break and return with Billy holding a chinlock. Holly makes the comeback with a rana and a dropkick, and JR notes that he’s in the DRIVER’S SEAT! Backslide gets two, but Billy gets a neckbreaker and goes up with the flying legdrop to finish at 6:42. What a shitty singles push so far. I think they took it as a challenge to somehow make it even more unbearable.

Owen Hart & British Bulldog v. (Yup, You Guessed It) Frank Stiletto & Tony Williams

The champs double-team Frank, but it’s over to Williams and he hits Owen with a bunch of dropkicks before missing one of them. So the Harts take over and Bulldog gets the delayed suplex and goes to a chinlock before hitting the powerslam and then letting Owen finish with the Sharpshooter at 2:30.

TUG OF WAR: Mark Henry v. Crush

We immediately get Hunter and Goldust running in and trying to win the battle 3-on-1, but Mark somehow fends them off and pulls the rope enough to win! USA! USA! It’s like a metaphor for all the other countries teaming up on America with their unfair trade deficits, and Mark Henry using the power of TARIFFS to defeat them all! But then they all beat Henry down and I don’t really have a good metaphor for that. Also Mark Henry disappeared for a long-ass time after this and didn’t return until the Nation of Domination much later.

Mankind v. Dan Parks

Mankind beats Parks down while the Executioner watches at ringside, and the Mandible Claw finishes at 1:30.

And finally, Todd sits down with Steve Austin backstage in MSG for his final thoughts leading into the Survivor Series.

Well this was definitely the last episode of a taping cycle.