The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.16.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.16.91

Originally written 11.13.25

Taped from Ft. Wayne, IN on 10.21.91

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage & Roddy Piper, who are all pushing for Tunney to reinstate Macho Man.

The Rockers v. Barry Horowitz & Mark Buenavera

Barry beats on Marty with forearms, but Jannetty puts him down with a gutwrench and it’s over to Shawn, who doesn’t appear interested in being there this week. So it’s back to Marty, who wants to do some double-teaming on Horowitz, but Shawn is distracted by flirtatious ladies at ringside, and Horowitz gets a rollup on Marty, which Marty reverses for the pin at 2:00. Hmm, seems to be some issues between the Rockers this week. I’m sure it’s nothing.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WBF CHAMPIONSHIP!

Let us take you back to last week, as Ric Flair beats Jim Neidhart with the figure-four and then attacks the knee after the match as well, and the end result is that Neidhart is OUT of the Survivor Series. Hopefully they can find someone to replace him! Man, Jack Tunney has a lot on his plate this week.

The Repo Man v. Reno Riggins

Yes, it’s REPO against RENO. Riggins should have repackaged himself as The Reno Man, becoming an evil house flipper who hires contractors and then stiffs them for the bill. Repo puts the boots to Riggins and quickly finishes with the kneebar at 1:00. And then he ropes up Reno’s boots and attaches him to the ropes for the big heat after the match.

Meanwhile, Sgt. Slaughter is now in a classroom full of kids, literally pandering to children now. Note to America from the rest of the world: That Pledge of Allegiance shit is weird. Also Sarge kisses the flag and declares that he has his country back now. Why didn’t he just declare that in week one and speed this shitty storyline up?

Greg Valentine v. IRS

Irwin attacks from behind and Hammer runs him into the turnbuckles in retaliation and then drops an elbow on him. IRS bails and they fight on the floor, but Irwin runs him into the stairs and puts the boots to him back in the ring. Elbow gets two and IRS goes to a chinlock, but Valentine fights back and hits him with chops in the corner. But then the ref is bumped and Irwin uses the briefcase for two, but Big Bossman runs in to break it up and Hammer is DQ’d at 3:42. Well that didn’t exactly make the babyfaces look like good people.

SURVIVOR SERIES REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Reminder, Sid Justice is OUT. So is Jim Neidhart. Very ironic that the buildup for this “Survivor” Series is all about guys getting knocked off before the show.

Meanwhile, President Jack Tunney is aware of the movement to reinstate Macho Man, and he’s taking the matter under advisement. SPITTING HOT FIRE! That’s my President!

The Natural Disastes v. Tom Stone & Burt Stiles

Typhoon puts Stone down with a back elbow while Savage pledges to take Sid’s place at Survivor Series. Disasters with the corner splashes and it’s over to Stiles, who quickly gets tossed. So they finish Stone with a pair of splashes at 1:45. This makes Savage briefly reconsider reinstatement, but he quickly brushes it off.

The Funeral Parlor with special guest Hulk Hogan. But he doesn’t even get in a word before Ric Flair interrupts, looking to start some shit and waving the Real World title in his face. But then Hulk tears off his shirt and tries to respond, so Undertaker pops out of a coffin and lays him out until Savage and Piper leave the desk to make the save. As usual, Hogan’s mouth gets him into a fight he can’t finish and Macho Man has to bail him out.

The British Bulldog v. Mike Samples

Piper and Savage are both spooked by their interaction with Undertaker and they’re worried about Hulk’s chances. Piper: “Professional courtesy. Let it be.” Bulldog makes quick work with the powerslam at 0:50.

Next week: Texas Tornado! Jake Roberts! Bret Hart v. Big Bully!

Yes, next week is the one. We are finally there. See you then.