The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.12.94

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.12.94

Originally written 12.11.25

Taped from Burlington, VT on 10.18.94

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler, who are at ringside again to keep up the “live” feel of the show that they were going for last week.

Last week’s show was kinda not the worst! Let’s see if they can keep up the momentum heading towards the dawn of a new era at the end of the month.

Lex Luger v. Gary Scott

Luger trades hammerlocks with Scott, who Vince calls a “formidable competitor”. YEAH OK. Lex works a headlock on him and gets some slams, and Scott backs off from the POWER OF AMERICA and then sneak attacks him. So Lex backdrops him and gets a butt ugly powerslam and then finishes with the REBEL RACK at 2:15.

Meanwhile, Charlie Minn reminds us of the lowered ticket prices at MSG on November 26, so maybe something big is happening?

Owen Hart v. Tony Devito

Owen works a headlock while Vince questions Lawler about whether he can recall anyone who ever escaped the Sharpshooter. Lawler draws a blank, but Lawler himself beat Bret Hart at Summerslam 93 WHILE LOCKED IN THE MOVE! Owen with a backbreaker and he puts the boots to Devito while Mr. Bob Backlund comes out to watch, and the Owenzuigiri puts Devito down. Devito makes a comeback, but Owen cuts him off with a bulldog and goes up with a missile dropkick before finishing him off with the Sharpshooter at 3:00.

Meanwhile, IRS keeps taking his feud with dead John Dough up another notch, as he’s now exhumed the grave because the family didn’t pay the burial tax. Kudos for their dedication to this gag.

Yokozuna joins us as Jim Cornette wants to stress that Yoko already beat Undertaker in a casket match, all by himself, so they don’t need a rematch.

Bob “Spark Plug” Holly v. Roy Raymond

Vince announces that this week on the Action Zone, it’s Bob v. Lawler as we’re already stretching the “Action Zone” concept to the breaking point three weeks in. Bob works the arm and puts him down with a clothesline, and then goes up with a flying bodypress to finish at 1:30.

SURVIVOR SERIES REPORT! WITH TODD!

Todd has the ugliest goddamn Survivor Series shirt I’ve ever seen, with a weird tye-dye purple and orange color scheme that I guess has something to do with the Texas theme of the show? I mean, I’ve worn some fucking embarrassing wrestling shirts in public, that made my wife cringe in pain, in my lifetime and even I would not leave the house wearing that thing.

Mr. Bob Backlund v. Bert Centeno

So weird that Vince portrays 1978 as decades ago when talking about Bob being the former WWF champion, but these days you have a guy like Cena who debuted TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO and is only wrapping up his career this week. And there’s a ton of guys who have been hanging around basically for 20 years now without ever changing promotions or even their basic character. Bob quickly PROCURES THE CHICKENWING at 1:00, and Owen Hart, in the corner of Bob, practices for Survivor Series by refusing to throw in the towel for Centeno because he wants to see Bob torture him as long as possible.

Tatanka & Bam Bam Bigelow v. The Smoking Gunns

This is a rematch of sorts from last week, when Tatanka beat Billy Gunn in a singles match. The heels toss the Gunns to start and they take a pair of pretty good bumps, but come back into the ring with missile dropkicks to chase the heels. Bammer beats on Billy and overpowers him, but Billy fights back with a dropkick for two. Over to Bart, who dodges a charge from Bigelow and slugs away in the corner, but Bigelow gets an atomic drop and it’s over to Tatanka. Bart controls him with armdrags and the Gunns double-team him in their corner and hit Bigelow with a double dropkick and double legsweep for two. Everyone brawls and the heels collide and hit the floor, at which point the rest of the Survivor Series heel team comes out to provide backup. And then the Lex Luger team also comes out as we take a break. Back with Bigelow working a chinlock on Billy and is Lex Luger wearing pajamas? What the fuck is that shirt? Bigelow with a clothesline on Billy and Tatanka gets some chops, but Bam Bam misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top rope for a goofy bump and a double down. It’s hot tag Bart and he runs wild for wee bit and then it’s the traditional “everyone runs in for the DQ” Survivor Series buildup at 7:40. Tatanka and Bigelow showed some good potential as a heel team here, actually. Wasn’t a bad match at all. **1/2 And we’re done for the week.

NEXT WEEK: Undertaker v. Jim Neidhart in what sounds like a potential trainwreck of a match! And then soon everything you know changes forever!