The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.09.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 11.09.91

Originally written 11.09.25

Taped from Ft Wayne, IN on 10.21.91. Notably, Ricky Steamboat quit the company at these tapings, after he was asked to do a job for IRS and refused. I’m sure he’ll pop up somewhere else.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper & Randy Savage

BREAKING NEWS: Sid Justice is out of action with a torn bicep, supposedly at the hands of Jake Roberts, and he’s out of Survivor Series. And he’s PLEADING with corrupt old Jack Tunney to reinstate Randy Savage to take his place and get revenge for him! I’ve heard Mr. Madness is already running around causing trouble.

Jake Roberts v. Eric Freedom

Jake works on Freedom in the corner while we learn that Jake has devenomized his cobra, to which Piper is skeptical. Jake tosses Freedom and back in for a short arm clothesline and DDT to finish at 1:19.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WBF CHAMPIONSHIP!

Sid is out of the Survivor Series, as we learned earlier, but Bret Hart might also be in trouble following his electrocution at the hands of the Mountie last week. Mean Gene points out that “water intensifies conductivity”, so I’m pretty sure this episode qualifies as educational programming and Vince can get some tax breaks.

Virgil v. Steve Dupree

Virgil with a clothesline and neckbreaker, and a gut wrench sets up the Million Dollar Dream to finish at 0:51. Meanwhile we get an inset from Ted Dibiase, who has a “Million Dollar Plan” to regain his belt. Speaking of which…

Meanwhile, we meet the REPO MAN, who is repossessing a car from a guy in a nice neighborhood, because he’s a day late on his car payments.

Last week, on Prime Time, British Bulldog powerslams the Slickster and Vince promises that he won’t be around anymore.

The Warlord v. Brad Kramer

So now Warlord is managed by Harvey Wippleman, while Vince reveals that Slick has retired from managing and wants to be a minister. Warlord with a slam and delayed suplex, and he finishes with the full nelson at 1:30.

This week in 1991 commercials: Some girl is young and gawky at her first high school dance, but a few years later, solely thanks to drinking milk, she’s apparently a hottie. Good to know. These days I’m sure TikTok influencers would have a field day with it.

Jim Neidhart v. Ric Flair

Anvil overpowers Flair and works the arm, but Ric fires back with chops in the corner, which Neidhart no-sells before backdropping him into a clothesline. But then he charges and hits the corner with his knee. Flair goes to work on the leg and gets a crossbody for two, and then clips the knee and finishes with the figure-four at 3:09.

Meanwhile, Sgt. Slaughter is at the Statue of Liberty, whining about how he doesn’t have any friends or family anymore. And of course, he wants his country back. OK, look, here’s a five second fantasy booking they could have done. Slaughter and Mustafa are doing a tag match, and some kid at ringside has an American flag. So Mustafa grabs the flag and goes to spit on it, but Slaughter won’t put up with that, lays out Mustafa, and gives the kid the flag while realizing that he loves his country again. There you go, done deal.

Back at the arena, Jim Neidhart is getting helped out on his bad leg, but the Beverly Brothers jump him in the aisle and destroy him, just to be dicks.

The Beverly Brothers v. Mark Robbins & Dan Wilson

I’m guessing Anvil is gonna have to find a partner for himself now. Blake hits Robbins with a back suplex and Beau comes in with a double underhook suplex to set up the Shaker Heights Spike at 1:01.

SURVIVOR SERIES REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Sid Justice is OUT. Jake Roberts and the Natural Disasters feel super bad about it but they’re willing to go 4-on-3 if required. So Mean Gene advocates for Randy Savage to be reinstated, while they overlay “COMMENTARY” on top of him so we don’t think he’s speaking for the WWF or whatever. Also, Jim Neidhart is OUT, putting his team in jeopardy without him there to captain it. If only there was someone else available who loved freedom and the United States as much as Jim Neidhart, who could take his place!

The Undertaker v. Major Yates

Vince: You should call Hulk Hogan’s hotline right now, because it might not be available in two weeks once Hulkamania is buried by the Undertaker! Hell of a sales pitch there. Taker slugs him down and follows with the flying clothesline before choking him down and finishing with the tombstone at 1:20.

I do have to drop a shoutout to the Event Center, with the main event of Nassau Coliseum featuring the team of Hacksaw Duggan and Mr. Madness. So we get a promo from the babyface team, which is Duggan and a very heavily video distorted person with a cowboy hat and fringe-covered jacket who says “Oh yeah!” a lot. Did we ever figure out who that was?

NEXT WEEK: British Bulldog! Natural Disasters! Repo Man! Greg Valentine v. IRS! Also, Hulk Hogan is on the Funeral Parlor, where “he might face the possibility of seeing his own casket”.

Yeah. OK. Well, on that note, we wrap it up for another week.